Violence: Again The Double Standards - Family - Nairaland
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| Violence: Again The Double Standards by Nobody: 6:37am On Sep 11, 2014 |
A few months ago I did a post on the Jay Z Solange elevator scandal, unfortunately the tsunami wiped it off. Now with the Ray Rice issue the issue of double standards is glaring. A woman attacks a man, he fights back and he is the criminal. Same thing would have happened to Jay Z if he hit back. Women should not go around hitting men because they have the weaker se-x card same way men should not go around hitting women adults should handle conflicts like adults. If anyone behaves like a thug man or woman then they have brought on themselves treatelment reserves for thugs. If a woman feels slapping or hitting a man is the way to resolve conflicts then they should also expect slaps back. I don't buy the smaller hands argument,abuse is more emotional than physical hitting is hitting. All of a sudden everyone is awake and condemning this even president Obama but I didn't hear his voice when solange hit Jay Z. We can't win the war against gender based violence if the wat is tilted to one side. Till we balance the standards and show clearly that man or woman no one has the right to go hitting another we won't win. Violence has no gender, no gender has monopoly of being abuser or victim. Stop violence against person's let there be a universal standard for all. 129 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Nobody: 6:43am On Sep 11, 2014 |
I agree with you, women can't continue to play the victim or weaker gender,and yet,always be the first to trigger the violence. ....it's not fair on the men,the good ones anyway. But then,thinking about it, what can be done to curb it,men rarely report cases of physical or emotional abuse,unlike women, who even without reporting it,get sympathy from both male and female alike in the society. ...... 17 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by greatgod2012(f): 6:45am On Sep 11, 2014 |
This is my stand.............. Honestly, it's a show of total disrespect, indiscipline, mannerlessness, rudeness and gross arrogancy on the part of a woman to hit his man first. Violence should not be caused by anyone, be it man or woman, let there always be mutual respect. What is good for the goose is also good for the gander. It is a gross hypocrisy when we say a man should not hit a woman but turn a blind eye when it is the other way round. Let's be objective please. Not supporting a man hitting his woman, as well as a woman hitting his man. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HIT, DON'T HIT FIRST....... 33 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by AfricanApple(f): 6:51am On Sep 11, 2014 |
@iwakolewa, how can they report it when they would be ridiculed by their own fellow men, especially in this our father land. op, u are so right 11 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by greatgod2012(f): 6:52am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Violence shouldn't be tolerated from any gender, be it from man or woman........nobody has the right to hit anyone, if you hit first, be ready to be hit back. Enough of hiding under one finger of "afterall she's a woman". Is a man not a human being also? It's very simple.............IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HIT, DON'T HIT YOUR MAN FIRST. 10 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Nobody: 6:58am On Sep 11, 2014 |
It is disturbing and disappointing. I am so shocked that all those Hypocrite talk show hosts who were making fun of the Jay Z Solange situation have suddenly found their voices in attacking and condemning Mr Rice because he fought back 16 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by zeb04(f): 7:09am On Sep 11, 2014 |
What is self defense? Isn't it the player who beat his gal blue black we talking abt.......its as tho I have an issue with my younger bro and he hits ist so because am trying to defend myself,I disfigure his face? pls as much as we trying to make it balance,we shld also be realistic. Everyone knows what self defence is. Don't justify wrong.wrong is wrong.....no grey side to it. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Nobody: 7:11am On Sep 11, 2014 |
zeb04: What is self defense? Isn't it the player who beat his gal blue black we talking abt.......its as tho I have an issue with my younger bro and he hits ist so because am trying to defend myself,I disfigure his face? Did you watch the video? She first hit him outside the elevator, hit him again as they got in and spat on him. She is the aggressor abeg. Imagine when Jay Z got beaten all he got were stupid jokes and memes Who is justifying wrong? A woman hit a man a man fights back then he is wrong because? 27 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by zeb04(f): 7:22am On Sep 11, 2014 |
aisha2:yeh that's it.he fought back(he retaliated) he wasnt trying to defend himself. There are certain ways things shld be handled. No matter how we try to downplay it,he was wrong(she was wrong to) and they shld both face the consequence. I am not trying to be biased BT I don't knockout someone and I call it defense. 11 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Edykul(f): 7:22am On Sep 11, 2014 |
The OP is so right.It takes a well principled man not to hit back at the woman when he finds himself in such situation. 5 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Dygeasy(m): 7:24am On Sep 11, 2014 |
zeb04: What is self defense? Isn't it the player who beat his gal blue black we talking abt.......its as tho I have an issue with my younger bro and he hits ist so because am trying to defend myself,I disfigure his face?I take it you're one of the large percentage of people who ignore youtube video links.  Make sure you are sure of what's being talked about before plunging into it.  15 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by zeb04(f): 7:25am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Dygeasy: I take it you're one of the large percentage of people who ignore youtube video links.okay |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by pickabeau1: 7:29am On Sep 11, 2014 |
where is aluta's mat  4 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Nobody: 7:29am On Sep 11, 2014 |
zeb04: yeh that's it.he fought back(he retaliated) he wasnt trying to defend himself. There are certain ways things shld be handled. No matter how we try to downplay it,he was wrong(she was wrong to) and they shld both face the consequence. When people decide the acts like idiots they loose the right to determine how the other person responds. Any woman who hits a man has lost the right to determine what he says or does in response to her actions. Who hits first is the aggressor. If two men fight the question the judge will ask is who threw the first punch and not who hit harder 27 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Dygeasy(m): 7:32am On Sep 11, 2014 |
zeb04: yeh that's it.he fought back(he retaliated) he wasnt trying to defend himself. There are certain ways things shld be handled. No matter how we try to downplay it,he was wrong(she was wrong to) and they shld both face the consequence.Could you please log on to www.dictionary.com and fish out the most demeaning and insulting words? Quote me on a thread and qualify me with them. Would I then say "Zeb04 stop it. Just stop it."? I think not. I'd rather retaliate in like manner with even heavier vocabs  which in accordance to human instincts is my own DEFENSE.The only other option is not responding which isn't defense. 3 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Godmystrength: 7:37am On Sep 11, 2014 |
pickabeau1: where is aluta's matmr pickabeau1 buy your own mat.... @OP- will comment later |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by pickabeau1: 7:41am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Godmystrength: buy your own mat.... Naah.. alutas mat seems to be one of sweet stresslessness I will leave my couch |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by zeb04(f): 7:46am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Dygeasy: Could you please log on to www.dictionary.com and fish out the most demeaning and insulting words? Quote me on a thread and qualify me with them.okay.when I say defense in these context, am talking abt a physical one And u don't disfigure someone and call it defense wen I can see no bodily marks on u(I didn't finish watching the video so I don't know if he had same injuries like she had) Aisha2 I don't know how the law works BT am pretty sure the judge won't rule that out as self-defense. They were just "two fighting" and shld be punished and if I we're in a position to handle that, he wild get the bigger punishment |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by msmon(m): 7:53am On Sep 11, 2014 |
I will find time to come back and comment after reading the article. |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Dygeasy(m): 8:07am On Sep 11, 2014 |
zeb04: okay.when I say defense in these context, am talking abt a physical one And u don't disfigure someone and call it defense wen I can see no bodily marks on u(I didn't finish watching the video so I don't know if he had same injuries like she had)When someone spites you violent over-reaction cannot be ruled out and that makes you only human and nothing more or less. I ain't justifying violence of that sort but we should judge objectively. Aisha2 I don't know how the law works BT am pretty sure the judge won't rule that out as self-defense. They were just "two fighting" and shld be punished and if I we're in a position to handle that, he wild get the bigger punishmentHopefully the lady will be punished too. Where is gender equality when you need it? 3 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by MizMyColi(f): 8:27am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Honestly? I really don't know much about gender equality. Okay, maybe I'm indifferent. I watched that video The lady was wrong (whatever her reasons might have been). If she got two sounder "witch for christ" slaps on her face or its equivalent, trust me, I'd be applauding the guy. Jeeezzz why spit on him!! That said, I'm with zeb04 on this one, even if that were a male victim, it was way outta line.....no, it was cruel of him, not because she is a female, but because she is a human being. Whatever happened to receiving in the measure that you give? They and everyone like them need to learn self-control. Trust me, it's always worth it. 9 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Tallesty1(m): 8:35am On Sep 11, 2014 |
I'm sure that I'll kick someone's ass all around the place like a drunk carpenter under some circumstance. I'm not against being a gentleman oo. But the only language some women understand is violence and forming gentle when you are with such person will force you down six-feet . Women wanted equal right, It was given so how come they are the ones abusing it? If you hit me like a woman or say some horrible things because you are angry, I'll understand and I take a walk but when a woman attacks me physically first like a man then she has no right to become a victim. My own is very simple. Do your thing lemme do my thing, live your life as good and respectfully as you want me to, don't speak to me like crap or assault me otherwise you should be treated the same. Solange was just lucky, try that to Shekau and your story will change forever. 20 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Tallesty1(m): 8:52am On Sep 11, 2014 |
MizMyColi: Honestly?So on point. What is wrong is wrong. We live a in a messed up society and the tolerance and self-control that the a lot of people preach is only one-sided. Its never right for anyone to hit anybody, man or woman and if you hit then expect being hit. Men are human as well. When women hit men, it is not right either and it is not fair. 2 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by paramel: 8:55am On Sep 11, 2014 |
hi need some advice.....I am 6 feet hubby is 6'4" we have argued of course...tonight he is drunk...I was mad and hit him...he punched me back...3 times...i feel as though i deserve it because i hit him first....but in same aspect he is stronger and hit me way harder ten i did him...it hurts he hit me because i was un past abusive relationships and he was my safe zone.....i know i can be awful as a wife he has told me...but the fact he could punch me is very emotionally hurtful...my jaw is aching and swollen...but i did hit him... not as hard as i could more of a slap type thing...i should not of done it. right now i want to turn on hi light and make his day awful... anyway someone pls write back on opinion? marie_claude227@hotmail.com |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by cococandy(f): 8:56am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Too bad they macho ones make the not so macho ones feel like sissies for voicing out. AfricanApple: @iwakolewa, how can they report it when they would be ridiculed by their own fellow men, especially in this our father land. |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by cococandy(f): 8:58am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Where did you find that pic? Very funny  pickabeau1: where is aluta's mat |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by cococandy(f): 9:06am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Like I said before in the other thread,I think they both got served. She tasted near death And he's tasting near career loss. Seems sort of fair to me. If she'd passed out for some days longer,it would have been fairest. So that she can learn to keep her hands to herself in future when having a misunderstanding. Why spit on him? To me that's unforgivable. I'll never live with someone who's ever spat at me. That's what you do to disgusting shiit n scum. I find it weird she's living with someone who disgusts her. Now she's forming repentance. Well I'm sure it'll be a while before she hits someone again. Him too. 4 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by pickabeau1: 9:25am On Sep 11, 2014 |
cococandy: Where did you find that pic? MizMyColi You cant legislate on all sides you want to hit people and still determine the degree to which they will hit you back I hit you with a pain factor of 2.. if it is not the same factor... then u call it abuse You excuse unwholesome behaviour because the consequence is greater than the cause? 5 Likes |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by MizMyColi(f): 9:36am On Sep 11, 2014 |
pickabeau1: Certainly not @TheEmboldened. I do not excuse either of them expressly. I still maintain that it was really inhumane of him to knock out a human being like that. That's my stand. Take for instance, the woman who forced her house help to sit on a burning gas cooker. For all we know, she might have offended the woman gravely (or so she thought). Does that in anyway justify the kind of treatment meted on that child, does it? Both of them should be sorry for their disgraceful acts, but he should be more sorry for reacting to such extent. 1 Like |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Jayne2014(f): 9:51am On Sep 11, 2014 |
We women want equal rights but can't take equal lefts. She shouldn't have hit him first. 10 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Mariopgomery(m): 10:01am On Sep 11, 2014 |
I dont think his intention was to knock her out. |
| Re: Violence: Again The Double Standards by Fkforyou(m): 10:08am On Sep 11, 2014 |
I think sometimes the society is unfair towards men,people have to understand that there is limit to how much tolerance one has,you don't go about provoking someone and don't expect retaliation,even cats are sometimes mean to children,inessence the society is unfair for judging only the man and am afraid if left unchecked most women would take advantage of it. Am just wondering what the reaction of the society would have been if Jay Z had retaliated. Some women have tO understand that,you don't go around fire expecting not to sweat. 1 Like |
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