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The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 7:56pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:


Lawyers in the house please correct me if I'm wrong but I think most Nigerians mistake the meaning of next of kin. Next of kin refers to the person to by contacted in case of emergencies and it's not about property sharing. In a case where there is no will once a woman petitions the courts and has her marriage certificates she will be awarded the husband's inheritance and then maybe a percentage will be put in trust for the children for when they are old enough.

In Nigeria...! grin grin. Go ask bianca ojukwu if her name no dey certificate...
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 7:57pm On Oct 05, 2014
tatiana009:


Lawyers in the house please correct me if I'm wrong but I think most Nigerians mistake the meaning of next of kin. Next of kin refers to the person to by contacted in case of emergencies and it's not about property sharing. In a case where there is no will once a woman petitions the courts and has her marriage certificates she will be awarded the husband's inheritance and then maybe a percentage will be put in trust for the children for when they are old enough.
not just emergencies , when there is no spouse or legal backing.... a next of kin takes full right on issues concerning the deceased.traditional marriage is backed by law
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by InvertedHammer: 7:58pm On Oct 05, 2014
MadCow1:



I knew one of you Niggas would take that bait.. grin


Now let me test your knowledge of Nigerian Laws with regards to the marriage act. ..

Question : Do you my friend know what term 'maintenance' means as regards the marriage act of Nigeria?

If you do (or if you Google it and find out) then what's your point about enforcement? If the courts awards maintenance to a spouse and the other party refuses to comply, that party would be in direct breach of court orders and would be sent to jail..


I no be lawyer o! But it's still a surprise that I am not..

Thanks for reading more of my legal mumbo jumbo.
/

I think "breach of court orders" should be erased from all legal books in Nigeria.

It has become a culture/custom/norm to breach court orders.

And about going to jail for nonpayment of alimony in Nigeria... Good luck with that.


\
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by cococandy(f): 7:58pm On Oct 05, 2014
I know some guys will oppose it. It's normal. No one will fight a sysytem that favors them or gives them upper hand.

It's the fish brained little girls I'm sorry for.
When the man brings in a new wife as the traditional institution allows him or when he dies and the in-laws begin to possess his possessions grin they'll run to NL and start disturbing us with stories that touch.

Now sound advice is being given too them dem dey mumu themselves.
MadCow1:



Only small minded and illiterate Niggas would oppose her write up.. Any woman who does not have a court certificate to back up her marriage is playing marriage Russian roulette and should pray she never pulls the trigger with a loaded chamber in the barrel.

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:02pm On Oct 05, 2014
Blebleswag:
Buh traditional marriage is d most important. Must u wear white gown?

[size=13pt]Obviously you and the 30 people who liked your comments didn't read. Reread and stimulate your mind a little......

Anyway men are scared of the fact that some women will divorce nd take half of their life investment (that they didn't work for)...... so my advice to men whose wives want a court wedding is to sign a prenuptial, don't let some un serious relationship ruin your life.....[/size]

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 8:03pm On Oct 05, 2014
CoCoLav:



The average Nigerian man secures properties in HIS OWN name. These days, I ensure every property my father buys is either in my name or my siblings names. Not even my mother's name.

I love my aunties and uncles oo, but you only know someone's real character when money is involved.


See this prodigal pikin.... grin you don dey plan ahead.. I guess the fear of "na my brother properties" is the beginning of wisdom.... Carry go nothing do you... grin
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by CoCoLav(f): 8:05pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
yea , I know the next of kin comes in where there is no spouse ... but for a man to put the name of his siblings as next of kin . you should know what that means.


Not true. Most men do it out of ignorance. They feel their brothers will be in a better position to take care of their families once they are gone not knowing the brothers are wolves in sheep clothing. Before the man has even rested in peace they are already asking the woman to go to bed with them or else they won't give them anything. The women sometimes give in just so their kids can eat and keep going to school. After all what is sex compared to the well being and happiness of her kids. But the kids will never know what the mother has sacrificed for them.

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:06pm On Oct 05, 2014
cococandy:
I know some guys will oppose it. It's normal. No one will fight a sysytem that favors them or gives them upper hand.

It's the fish brained little girls I'm sorry for.
When the man brings in a new wife as the traditional institution allows him or when he dies and the in-laws begin to possess his possessions grin they'll run to NL and start disturbing us with stories that touch.

Now sound advice is being given too them dem dey mumu themselves.
there are thousands of women with all the 3 certificates and are separated , divorced , currently abused but cant do anything about it..... the reality is learn to stand on your own incase ... will the lawyers just take on a case for free , wont you pay them . with the Nigerian judiciary, how many women have made it through
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:06pm On Oct 05, 2014
Churches nowadays are documenting marriages legally. Most pentecostal churches would ask intending couples get the "registry" first done before obtaining church certificate and as for other renown orthodox churches, catholic and Anglicans they are already given legal marriage certificate from the registry/ government and once they officiate a wedding, they file documentation with the government.

So if you wedded in a catholic, Lutheran, Anglican, Presbyterian etc and still think your marriage is not official, you are on a long thing except your marriage certificate doesn't bear "The Federal Republic of Nigeria" but it is advisable to always make sure your wedding in this churches was indeed captured by the relevant authority/ registry.

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:07pm On Oct 05, 2014
chrisbaba1:


[size=13pt]Obviously you and the 30 people who liked your comments didn't read. Reread and stimulate your mind a little......

Anyway men are scared of the fact that some women will divorce nd take half of their life investment (that they didn't work for)...... so my advice to men whose wives want a court wedding is to sign a prenuptial, don't let some un serious relationship ruin your life.....[/size]
I said it earlier a made man knows exactly what to sign ..... people that are learned and dont wish for court marriages know why they dont want it .
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by CoCoLav(f): 8:09pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


See this prodigal pikin.... grin you don dey plan ahead.. I guess the fear of "na my brother properties" is the beginning of wisdom.... Carry go nothing do you... grin


Wisdom is profitable to direct o my brother. I have seen enough cases to make me wise up especially as my parents did not do court marriage.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:10pm On Oct 05, 2014
chrisbaba1:


[size=13pt]Obviously you and the 30 people who liked your comments didn't read. Reread and stimulate your mind a little......

Anyway men are scared of the fact that some women will divorce nd take half of their life investment (that they didn't work for)...... so my advice to men whose wives want a court wedding is to sign a prenuptial, don't let some un serious relationship ruin your life.....[/size]
Dnt tel me u re jealous of ma likes
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Mclick(m): 8:11pm On Oct 05, 2014
Let me start by saying any kind of marriage; traditional, religious or statutory is binding. In most cases we do all kind of marriage as stated above. Little did we know that one nullify another. That been said, by observation, I think girls are more concern about the marriage ceremonies than having a good home, they will do anything to pressure their fiance into an elaborate wedding nomatter what not minding the after wedding. Moreso, some girl will do anything to have a court marriage most expecially not for formalities of the union but for their sense of insecurity. Why nothing is wrong having wedding done the way we are use to, The main challenge ladies do have is they think everything should be about them. If a man that loves you pay your bride price be contented, make sure the man that loves you and you love for the right reason
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:11pm On Oct 05, 2014
CoCoLav:



The average Nigerian man secures properties in HIS OWN name. These days, I ensure every property my father buys is either in my name or my siblings names. Not even my mother's name.

I love my aunties and uncles oo, but you only know someone's real character when money is involved.

yes , he secures in his own name , thats why I said he knows what to sign . some sign prenuptial agreement before going into marriage. it may leave the woman with nothing .if the sole aim is taking over his property it may never work.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Amya(f): 8:12pm On Oct 05, 2014
Tradition marriage is strong enough. Certificates are issued on request from local govt councils. It has all the basic requirements of a legal marriage and then some (parental consent clause).

As much as you guys think that having a statutory marriage in Nigeria is beneficial to women in the case of divorce or some other reason, it really isn't. Unless of course some other form of contract is entered into that specifies in details the terms and condition of the marriage (prenup). In a situation where the latter isn't involved the court still has discretion in terms of awarding monies and property to either party when marriage (of any form, statutory or customary) is proven in trying to dissolve the marriage.

Certificates of customary marriage can be tendered anywhere. Certificates are not necessary in situation whereby it can be proven that their was a customary marriage (assessors, witnesses e.t.c). It should be noted too that affidavits also suffice in some situations .

3 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 8:13pm On Oct 05, 2014
chrisbaba1:


[size=13pt]Obviously you and the 30 people who liked your comments didn't read. Reread and stimulate your mind a little......

Anyway men are scared of the fact that some women will divorce nd take half of their life investment (that they didn't work for)...... so my advice to men whose wives want a court wedding is to sign a prenuptial, don't let some un serious relationship ruin your life.....[/size]

You yourself failed to let that reply stimulate your mind a little...

You were quick to conclude that traditional marriage is immune to court registry..

Abeg go lick orange.. undecided
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by drkay(m): 8:14pm On Oct 05, 2014
I hate dat court tin.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by InvertedHammer: 8:16pm On Oct 05, 2014
chrisbaba1:


[size=13pt]Obviously you and the 30 people who liked your comments didn't read. Reread and stimulate your mind a little......

Anyway men are scared of the fact that some women will divorce nd take half of their life investment (that they didn't work for)...... so my advice to men whose wives want a court wedding is to sign a prenuptial, don't let some un serious relationship ruin your life.....[/size]
/
It depends on the level of the parties involved eg. Ojukwu family, Abiola family, etc. With all the roforofo wey dey these
wealthy families, who dey enjoy all the money now? Lawyers and trustees who stand to make more money if the case drags on forever.

But for an average Nigerian family, the fight for right will definitely involve kindred, court, thugs, babalawo. It is like fighting for a land
in the village, at the end all parties die and the land remains. And enablers will be left to enjoy the fruit of other people's labour.

As a married woman in Nigeria, there is no reason why you should not establish yourself in your husband's house financially and otherwise.
Every title of property you own should include the name of your children. Court wedding or church wedding, the most important thing is
to make sure a bride price was paid.

If your husband dies before you (afterall who knows who will die first), do the burial ceremony and go back to where you reside and continue your business. It can't be any simpler than that.

But, if you choose to be a housewife, you will not only have his kinsmen to deal with, but business partners and employees who will see
his demise as an opportunity to better their lot. That is, make you dey put eyes for your oga business. Shikena!

NB: Anything you cannot get from your spouse when alive can never be got when he/she is dead.


\

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:19pm On Oct 05, 2014
marriage here,marriage there, marriage,marriage,marriage......aren't people done talking about this ish?Or is it that this is the only thing we can boast of as our achievement?
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:19pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


In Nigeria...! grin grin. Go ask bianca ojukwu if her name no dey certificate...

Bianca was able to go to the court and she was awarded the larger part of his properties. Please do your research about the case, if she didn't have that legal backing she would have been cheated by his grown children who were dragging the inheritance with her

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by ayobase(m): 8:21pm On Oct 05, 2014
100Cents:


Thank you.

Poster is more interested in fighting for her rights to property.. She is not even a Christian as she mentioned divorce as an option..

God may I dodge all the girls with poster mentality in Jesus name. Amen..

ask your mother how she did hers.

tell ur sisters and aunts never to bother about the certificate, but the ceremony.

u think its all about divorce......God forbids case of death.....I am sure u r gonna be thr first to throw ur brother"s wife out to claim the properties......those sules that liked ur post need deliverance of mentality.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:24pm On Oct 05, 2014
GooseBaba:


You yourself failed to let that reply stimulate your mind a little...

You were quick to conclude that traditional marriage is immune to court registry..

Abeg go lick orange.. undecided

[size=13pt]So the court will uphold the content of a traditional marriage where the man can marry two women?? What are you talking about even if you don't know laws, theres common sense na.

Im angry, Infact go and suck agalumo[/size]

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by homesteady(m): 8:24pm On Oct 05, 2014
I perfectly understand what Sweetlemon said!
And the P square example is a good case - In this present days that celebs divorce anyhow (ini edo just divorced hers), Anita and lola are still not married to their husbands legally? like seriously, permit me to say - this is just pure foolishness!
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by GooseBaba: 8:25pm On Oct 05, 2014
CoCoLav:



Not true. Most men do it out of ignorance. They feel their brothers will be in a better position to take care of their families once they are gone not knowing the brothers are wolves in sheep clothing. Before the man has even rested in peace they are already asking the woman to go to bed with them or else they won't give them anything. The women sometimes give in just so their kids can eat and keep going to school. After all what is sex compared to the well being and happiness of her kids. But the kids will never know what the mother has sacrificed for them.

Stories that touch... What about all the widows that are now landlady..? How many of their brother in law are they sleeping with..?

Let's call a spade a spade... This is Nigeria.. Anything can happen.. The laws sometimes cannot be enforced.. No matter how many legal documents one presents..
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by bluetechnology: 8:25pm On Oct 05, 2014
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Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by CoCoLav(f): 8:26pm On Oct 05, 2014
majekdom2:
yes , he secures in his own name , thats why I said he knows what to sign . some sign prenuptial agreement before going into marriage. it may leave the woman with nothing .if the sole aim is taking over his property it may never work.


Pre-nups are not common in Nigeria. Most men just go to court so as to be done with the marriage process not necessarily because they are interested but that one no consign me.

All this taking over his property that you people are shouting, do you know how many projects both husband and wife do together? wife brings some percentage while husband brings some but at the end of the day, its bought in husband's name and the woman doesn't mind anyway because they are one and she doesn't know of anything that could go wrong.


Then something unforseen happens and the village people come knocking.

2 Likes

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by rotwailler(m): 8:26pm On Oct 05, 2014
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Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by stpat1(m): 8:27pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sweetlemon:


Lol!

Those Italians will not be recognized without an official document even in Nigerian courts not talk of their own country.

You missed the emphasis on the legal document and not necessarily the ceremony.

Why are you emphasizing on legality? are you saying that the marriage is not legal cos there is no certificate issued? You mean a lady should already be thinking of what she would get if the marriage crashes even before she signs the dotted lines?

All those are just follow follow if you ask me. In my own opinion, the traditional wedding is the most important. Even in the bible, when Jesus turned water into wine, Was it in the synagogue? is there any record of anyone that wedded in the synagogue in the bible?
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:27pm On Oct 05, 2014
Amya:
Tradition marriage is strong enough. Certificates are issued on request from local govt councils. It has all the basic requirements of a legal marriage and then some (parental consent clause).

As much as you guys think that having a statutory marriage in Nigeria is beneficial to women in the case of divorce or some other reason, it really isn't. Unless of course some other form of contract is entered into that specifies in details the terms and condition of the marriage (prenup). In a situation where the latter isn't involved the court still has discretion in terms of awarding monies and property to either party when marriage (of any form, statutory or customary) is proven in trying to dissolve the marriage.

Certificates of customary marriage can be tendered anywhere. Certificates are not necessary in situation whereby it can be proven that their was a customary marriage (assessors, witnesses e.t.c). It should be noted too that affidavits also suffice in some situations .

The whole meaning of customary law is that it is according to the dictates of the custom so a lot of things are different under customary law for example customary law will recognize multiple wives as long as traditional rites were done whereas the registry document only recognize the first wife and you are not allowed to sign those same documents with another woman except you divorce first. Also in the case of inheritance customary law is different as it recognized the family and the property will be share according to culture as opposed to the court registry where the wife and children will be regarded as sole beneficiaries if there's no will.

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:30pm On Oct 05, 2014
chrisbaba1:


[size=13pt]So the court will uphold the content of a traditional marriage where the man can marry two women?? What are you talking about even if you don't know laws, theres common sense na.

Im angry, Infact go and suck agalumo[/size]
is it all men that are willing to stay with one woman ... some learned individuals still talk about 2 to 3 wives .I dont plan to , but dont talk like everyone should do what you expect them to.
Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by flinton(m): 8:31pm On Oct 05, 2014
Very simple, get the papers signed on the trad wedding day. To hell wif white wedding!

1 Like

Re: The Growing Trend Of Men Shying Away From Court or White Wedding by Nobody: 8:32pm On Oct 05, 2014
homesteady:
I perfectly understand what Sweetlemon said!
And the P square example is a good case - In this present days that celebs divorce anyhow (ini edo just divorced hers), Anita and lola are still not married to their husbands legally? like seriously, permit me to say - this is just pure foolishness!
its not foolishness , thats is the lifestyle we are choosing to adopt . the western lifestyle , thats why the op can advice babes to go beyond traditional . when the traditional is fully backed by law.

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