He married her because she is a virgin abi? He should be content with that and blank his mind from all the negatives

what advice can you give to a deaf person?

you guys warned him against it in the start..

now it is up to him to taste from the bitter cup of experience so he can tell others how it tastes just as he is already tell you guys.

i feel real sorry for that n!gga.. i just dey laugh like say na comedy as i sit and imagine what manner of HELL his life must be like
and mehhhhn Lord knows i dont wanna be in those shoes.

KMTee: A colleague got married 6 months ago to his woman who he had, roughly 4 years relationship with before proceeded to the alter. but after he resumed from honeymoon break and was asked how he is enjoying his new status..he cofided in few of us and complained bitterly about his wife's characters, of which some of us had warned him against this lady b4 he married her but he said she would change, marriage changes women.

this lady nags, complains about his friends, his colleagues, his in-law, she is too demanding...
After they got married and resumed back to their respective work: the wife laid down some rules indirectly
1. she won't be cooking during the week except on weekends, so they get what they would eat on their way from work:
Where does the wife work? Where do the hubby work? Who gets home first? If wifey has made soup in bulk during the weekend, the challenge is to make solids/rice that takes a little while to prepare. Can the first person to get home do that

2. no in-law should come stay more than a week and for the duration of their stay, they must cook and wash their plates themselves. This is not peculiar to wifey. Some people do like extended family for long period of time in their homes. The problem I will have is when the rule doesnot apply to her own family. If this is the case, hubby either extends the rule to her family or scrap it. Besides, it is not advisable for in-laws to stay for so long except there are pressing issues or small kids. @washing and cooking, how old are they? If they are younger, I do not see the big deal in that. I cannot go to my cousin's house and expect my cousin's wife to cook for me or wash my plate.

3. he must not report her to his mother, mother-in-law cannot advise her what to do, whenever she errs, he must be ready to protect her and he must not allow any member of his family to disrespect her.
When she errs, does it affect the extended family? If no, then it is none of their business or does she report him to her family when she errs? Does the hubby like the prospect of his MIL correcting him? Is it a good thing for his family to disrespect her?

4. he must not give any female friend/colleague a ride even if they are staying in the same street, except she is in the car with him. Is this a rule for both of them or her alone? Some couples have this rule to guide them; some defriend all previous friends on FB, change numbers etc. when they are starting their marriage. Is she one of them? Does hubby have reservations on wifey giving male friends/colleagues rides?Has the guy given her reason to suspect his previously?

5. Sex should only happen according to how it's written and explained in one of her books, hubby can't just demand for sex anyhow, it must be according to timetable. Does she feel sex is dirty? Has hubby read the 'power book'? Is it a religious one?

Now, the guy complains bitterly, quarrel and nagging every now and then...he now closes late cos he is too scared of getting home early cos of complaints, nagging and fight..the last fight they had was that the mother called and started tutoring her on how to take care of her man, how to love him, how to adore him and how to be submissive to her man, the woman even shared some of her experience with the lady. she was so furious dat wen they got home, the wife started complaining and lamenting that he is not protecting him from his family, the mother is always on her neck telling her wat to do and not do bla bla bla. Was the issue that they could resolve themselves?

the guy came to us for advise..we told him he had it coming cos we warned him, the lady had come to office one time to cause drama and we told him categorically that she is not a wife material but cos he met her a virgin, he went ahead to marry him...
the hubby is really in a mess now and is affecting his performance at work..some of his femle friends advised him to divorce the lady, some advise him to find solace in another woman's arm. Some women are very foolish and these are typical examples. Does divorce or cheating solve this man's problems? but we, the female colleague advised him to take charge of his home, stand up as a man and set things straight.

your advise on this is needed please? should he follow his male colleague's advice or female's?

The wife sounds like a self-righteous person. What she is saying might be right but the issue is how she passes her messages across.

I get a feel that they did marriage counseling (hence the constant hammering on protection from family) but they did not really get the principles especially wifey. It is like a man yelling 'my wife must submit' without understanding the fundamentals.

The hubby seems not to be on same page with wifey especially spiritually. Do they go to the same church?

Dear OP, I will appreciate answers to my questions

Thanks

bukatyne:
The wife sounds like a self-righteous person. What she is saying might be right but the issue is how she passes her messages across.
I get a feel that they did marriage counseling (hence the constant hammering on protection from family) but they did not really get the principles especially wifey. It is like a man yelling 'my wife must submit' without understanding the fundamentals.
The hubby seems not to be on same page with wifey especially spiritually. Do they go to the same church?
Dear OP, I will appreciate answers to my questions
Thanks

the hubby is a devoted christian, faithful to his wife even before they married
they both attend the same church
they did marriage counselling together.
other questions had been answered in previous posts

1stCitizen: He married her because she is a virgin abi? He should be content with that and blank his mind from all the negatives

yes, he deflowered her on their wedding night, it was battle btw the both of them
due to pain she experienced, she bought books on how to enjoy marital intercourse
and den gave timetable on how it ought to be done according to the book.
FYI, the guy is no virgin

KMTee:


well, from the little i know
the MIL lives in another state, she has not even visited them since they got married, their communication has always been on fone. it was only the brother in law that had visited once and stayed for just weekend friday to monday,

the lady doesnt have a mother anymore, she grew up with her step mother who maltreated her, so the mil just wanted to be nice and be a mother to her.

the guy invited a marriage counsellor and the church pastor to the house to talk to them, after they left, it was battle galour, the wife warned him not to invite third party to their matter again.

they just got married, no kids yet, whats the service of househelp for when dey are just 2 and dey both hardly stay at home.

the lady works in a federal govt parastal, so she closes earlier dan d hubby

I am just seeing this.

I think the wifey is troublesome from this post

The weekend is not too much for a BIL to visit and I do not understand the protection she is screaming about since her in-laws neither live with her nor visit her regularly

What time does the wife get back home from work (since you say they hardly stay at home)

KMTee:

yes, he deflowered her on their wedding night, it was battle btw the both of them
due to pain she experienced, she bought books on how to enjoy marital intercourse
and den gave timetable on how it ought to be done according to the book.
FYI, the guy is no virgin

I think the husband is selfish and impatient.

He should have tried to ease her into it (long pre-intimacy for that day & do the do maybe next day). If her first experience is bad, she is not going to be excited about making love to hubby and it is hubby that can correct that

Since he knew the reason she bought the book (she buying the books shows she wants their sex.ual life to work out and is willing to learn), it is his duty to teach her it is fun gradually and forget what is in the book.

If you are close enough to the hubby, tell him he has to unlearn all he has learnt with previous women he bedded and learn what makes his wife tick. He should see himself as a vir.gin and be willing to explore with wifey. It might take time but they will get there. The onus is on him because he is experienced in this field.

Who knows, when wifey becomes satisfied in the bedroom, conversing with her will be easier and reduce her frustration

P.S.: I though the reason ladies screamed for experienced guys is because they have the 'experience' and can do the do

KMTee:

yes, he deflowered her on their wedding night, it was battle btw the both of them
due to pain she experienced, she bought books on how to enjoy marital intercourse
and den gave timetable on how it ought to be done according to the book.
FYI, the guy is no virgin

I think the husband is selfish and impatient.

He should have tried to ease her into it (long pre-intimacy for that day & do the do maybe next day). If her first experience is bad, she is not going to be excited about making love to hubby and it is hubby that can correct that

Since he knew the reason she bought the book (she buying the books shows she wants their sex.ual life to work out and is willing to learn), it is his duty to teach her it is fun gradually and forget what is in the book.

If you are close enough to the hubby, tell him he has to unlearn all he has learnt with previous women he bedded and learn what makes his wife tick. He should see himself as a vir.gin and be willing to explore with wifey till they come to the same level. It might take time but they will get there. The onus is on him because he is experienced in this field.

Who knows, when wifey becomes satisfied in the bedroom, conversing with her will be easier and reduce her frustration

P.S.: I though the reason ladies screamed for experienced guys is because they have the 'experience' and can do the do

Typical AFRICAN marriage!
Troubled from THE GET GO!