Am a working class guy who is in a serious relationship, I mean my folks love this lady and I have introduced her to the people that matter in my life, its needless to say peeps are expecting us to get married in the nearest future but I have serious issues with my woman which makes me think I cant go through with this. To start with, she is damn too quiet, I mean its scary the way I tell her very sensitive things and she has almost nothing to say, at a point I had to stop telling her about my challenges at work simply because she wont say anything significant. She doesn't do this intentionally but she ain't just good with words. On to the next one, she doesn't show affection publicly, I mean she is so not into PDAs, like c'mon this is the 21st century. If we happen to be in public, she kinda refrains from hugging talk less of kissing and at times it hurts so bad. we've talked about this a thousand and one times but it keeps going on that way. And am really disturbed because i have a lot of ladies around me that will say yes to me if given half the chance but i don't wanna cheat on her.I love this lady and i want her to be my wife but really, given all these deficiencies, am not sure i can get through with it. Please lemme have your comments, matured ones please. Thanks in anticipation fellas!

20 views already and no comments, c'mon y'all, just drop your 2 cents and help out a brother

I underwent same treatment with the woman I call my ex now.
My brother, if you feel uncomfortable in any relationship you are in, I tell you most solemnly there is the type you want out there. Women all need that affectionate working class type of you. For all I care you can not change her, maybe it was because I was unable to change my ex to be more open with words and in public. Since you have told her this times without number, just like I've done. Nature now calls on you to do the needful. She doesn't desire change and is incompatible with you.

I am commenting because I underwent just same thing as you.
So make your choice. Forget about what people will think. It is your relationship and future marriage at stake here, if she is unwilling to change(perhaps she is shy or hiding something from you), and you can't bear her timidity and shyness.

Oga walk out.

Let me help u, ask her what her problem is..... Before asking her, give her a suprise gift.


Thank me later

Anoevn kw wer I dy sef.....but mk I book space incase sha
















[color=#006600][/color] eh! Wetin d idiot write sef!

Let it not be dat I didn't comment... Ok, just stick 2 her...

Vessi: I underwent same treatment with the woman I call my ex now.
My brother, if you feel uncomfortable in any relationship you are in, I tell you most solemnly there is the type you want out there. Women all need that affectionate working class type of you. For all I care you can not change her, maybe it was because I was unable to change my ex to be more open with words and in public. Since you have told her this times without number, just like I've done. Nature now calls on you to do the needful. She doesn't desire change and is incompatible with you.

I am commenting because I underwent just same thing as you.
So make your choice. Forget about what people will think. It is your relationship and future marriage at stake here, if she is unwilling to change(perhaps she is shy or hiding something from you), and you can't bear her timidity and shyness.

Oga walk out.

thanks bro, but just as you know what my fear is, we've come a long way and its so hard walking away, i mean this lady has a lot of admirable qualities, i mean a whole lot. but her deficiencies seems to be so weighty

Lindajohn: Let me help u, ask her what her problem is..... Before asking her, give her a suprise gift.


Thank me later

surprise gift? i do that all the time, i don't think that's the issue cos we've been talking about this long enough

mayim:
thanks bro, but just as you know what my fear is, we've come a long way and its so hard walking away, i mean this lady has a lot of admirable qualities, i mean a whole lot. but her deficiencies seems to be so weighty

I don't understand why she's still too shy or withdrawn since you guys have gone too far.
It appears you love her extremely, here is what I think, you guys should go out and catch some fun as though you were kids.

Go to parks and catch fun, if she likes pool, swim with her ot tutor her. Go to cinemas and watch romantic movies with popcorn bags on your hands, go to zoos and see cute birds and animals. Just take her out and spend quality, romantic, fun-filled moments with her. I'm sure her spirit and soul will be lifted. If she is not possessed, she will start being jovial and open to you.

Also, ask her friends and family, if she is that secretive, withdrawn, quite, shy, timid within the family and with friends. Ok?

I see no point in what you just wrote. We all have our differences, you girl might be the reserved type and you don't just expect her to change just like that. You should learn to live with that.

mayim:
surprise gift? i do that all the time, i don't think that's the issue cos we've been talking about this long enough

u no dy romantic, wakeup early prepare tea or coffee, wake her up with a bright smile on ur face.... Serve her the tea/coffee. Start up a cool conversation with her.... Don't go straight to the point yet, wen u notice she is happy, den u can go to the main topic.... Lowkey tins

I ges u try 2 count u words wen ur tryin 2 gv her ur piece of mind...& I spse dat's rly nt working, so jst mayb u'll av 2 quite using Euphemism & strt using ur Hyperbole.....Yea! You av to strt telin her d EXACT way ur feelin,& pls tel her wit dat same vain u used 2 write ds....

Lindajohn: u no dy romantic, wakeup early prepare tea or coffee, wake her up with a bright smile on ur face.... Serve her the tea/coffee. Start up a cool conversation with her.... Don't go straight to the point yet, wen u notice she is happy, den u can go to the main topic.... Lowkey tins

hmm..now i get your drift, she is romantic inside the house but when we go out,its a different ball game. she doesn't even wana hold hands for long, it's that bad. (and just so you know, am good looking ) so she has no reason not to be proud of me

Vessi:
I don't understand why she's still too shy or withdrawn since you guys have gone too far.
It appears you love her extremely, here is what I think, you guys should go out and catch some fun as though you were kids.

Go to parks and catch fun, if she likes pool, swim with her ot tutor her. Go to cinemas and watch romantic movies with popcorn bags on your hands, go to zoos and see cute birds and animals. Just take her out and spend quality, romantic, fun-filled moments with her. I'm sure her spirit and soul will be lifted. If she is not possessed, she will start being jovial and open to you.

Also, ask her friends and family, if she is that secretive, withdrawn, quite, shy, timid within the family and with friends. Ok?

thanks a bunch man, i'll have to talk with her siblings and best friend

mayim:
thanks a bunch man, i'll have to talk with her siblings and best friend

*smiles*

mayim:
hmm..now i get your drift, she is romantic inside the house but when we go out,its a different ball game. she doesn't even wana hold hands for long, it's that bad. (and just so you know, am good looking ) so she has no reason not to be proud of me

den she is ashamed of u..... Hoha

Lindajohn: den she is ashamed of u..... Hoha

madam,that was harsh na
although she cant be...what's there to be ashamed of?

mayim:
madam,that was harsh na
although she cant be...what's there to be ashamed of?

ask her

Don't settle 4 wat u cannot endure all in d name f love cos ull end up cheating out f quest to get a listener so sit her down nd make her understand if no change. Waka cos no be only u waka come

that's her nature, she is not hiding anything. she is simply a quiet and reserved person, but what she has to know is that not everything u do to everybody u do your partner, there has to be differences. you have to communicate with her, make her understand how its tearing u apart, tell her if its something she has to deal with you will help and u must mean it and be ready to help. ask opinion from your folks and elderly people, they will give u better advice.
if u are willing to do all these and she doesn't shows concern, u have to find your square root cos its gonna be worst in marriage

goodluck

pls try as much as to find out what her problems are

I can only imagine me being in ur shoes
Mehn it won't be easy ooo cos am the shy type & would need a 'gara gara' kinda lady

Brodaly I feel ur painz, had such gal som yrs back, her most used words where yes nd no.
Tried my best to get her active buh dat was her default.
So I moved on..

I doubt if u can change her quiet person(Default) buh d huggin nd kissin she wuld adjust wiv tym especially wen u mst ve scored.
Broda I fink u ve got a wife not dis mumuz everi where wey no get shame, to d extent was wiv a fwend nd dis his supposed gal was walkin nude all ova d rum..

Dear Mayim,

How old are you? I sense teenager or at most young adult in his early twenties, from your posts. You need to focus on being a "man" first before having "serious" relationships. You are not yet close to being ready for marriage.

My spicy opinion.
BR.

spicyv1: Dear Mayim,

How old are you? I sense teenager or at most young adult in his early twenties, from your posts. You need to focus on being a "man" first before having "serious" relationships. You are not yet close to being ready for marriage.

My spicy opinion.
BR.

I tell you, just look at what he is complaining about Be careful what you ask for.

I will tell you this just once, if you have sat down and thought about all the reasons why you can't marry this girl and this all you can come up with then just like bible has said....my man you have found a good thing and obtained favor in the sight of God.

I know exactly what you feel...I went thru it myself. it took the better part of four years before she started coming out of her shell. Most people will tell you that it will get worse in marriage and that is true.

Think...she isn't very talkative and it seems you really want a relationship where you can talk....which is a good thing but except if she is mute then maybe you might be talking too much. you say she has nothing meaningful to add. That's what you think and women notice these things and will continue to keep quiet. Listen to her more and appreciate her meaningless inputs and with time you might start seeing that maybe she makes sense just not in the way you expect.

As for PDA don't worry...women are generally wired different and if she doesn't like it then she doesn't like it. if in private she is fine then that's what matters.

finally as I said...if these two things are the only reasons for doubt. ...set a date already. Most married men will tell you even quiet women talk. the problem is that most of us don't listen.

Op forgive and forget.

@ op Na u wey be man dey give this kind of complain? Women are more emotional, she is supposed to be the one saying all these sh*t. What's special abt holding,kissing u in public? When both of u slp in the same bed. *fvck marriage jor*

U dnt date with pity.... If u can't cover ur potholes in relationship, dnt go ahead with marriage cos those potholes will enlarge in future

I feel your pain bro, suffered such in my last relationship. Situation where u what her opinion and response would be I don't know. Friends and family members really liked her. Oya let's hang out, I don't go out. Bros my candid advice is bounce out of d relationship and u will discover u will b happier

I really want to say a big thank you to all that dropped their comments (both good and bad). I had a lot of engagements over the weekend and couldn't come on nairaland. well, as for those that said maybe I am a teenager, maybe y'all didn't read my post well, I happen to be a practicing accountant with a multinational firm, yes I am ripe for marriage. The fog is clearing based on your comments so far, more comments would be appreciated though.