Hello nairalanders, my bestie called me last night to tell me that her boyfriend of 1yr and some months proposed and she said yes, I should be happy but am not.
The reason is, the guy has been abusive since I can remember. He is a very nice guy tho but he beats her up at the slightest provocation and each time my friend would swear that its over between them but she'll go back to him the very next day once he comes begging and then the cycle would continue again.
I am really worried for her since this is her first relationship and after she told me last night I had a horrible nightmare that her mum called and told me she is dead. My mind has not been at peace since then. What should I do?

Let your friend follow her heart.

After all, its her life, she's the one to leave with the man and not nairalanders or yourself. Who knows, while you're here drinking Panadol for her headache, she may be enjoying it. Mind you, some ladies like beating, others beg for it and some even said that any man who did not beat them when they erred didn't love them.

Secondly, the best advice in the world is the advice one give him or herself.

Dlionsheart:
Let your friend follow her heart.

After all, its her life, she's the one to leave with the man and not nairalanders or yourself. Who knows, while you're here drinking Panadol for her headache, she may be enjoying it. Mind you, some ladies like beating, others beg for it and some even said that any man who did not beat them when they erred didn't love them.

Secondly, the best advice in the world is the advice one give him or herself.

no, she doesn't enjoy it that's is why she always says she will neva go back to him but in the end the guy will sweet talk her back. I also think because its her first relationship that's why its difficult for her to pull out. We have been friends since childhood so its not very easy for me to look away cos anything happens to her I will feel guilty

I'd love to hear from anyone who has ever being in an abusive relationship, how were you able to get out of it, please share your opinions, advise and experience. Thank you

Tell ur friend to run. Hope u re not the one? . Run bfor u re dead.

Sparkle777:
Tell ur friend to run. Hope u re not the one? . Run bfor u re dead.

no am not the one. Apart from my telling her to run, she has told herself to run but she can't move her feet.

Tell to digest this thread before her final decision. If she doesn't take your advice, there's little you can do.

If you are sure of the guy's violent behavior, inform the girl's parents.


https://www.nairaland.com/1444825/abused-wives-girlfriends-men

Been there. It hurts.
It doesn't make sense for her to stay put in such a relationship.
You should really sit her down and talk to her if she refuses to listen to you or any other person, well, she can enjoy the panel beating while it lasts.

bellong:

Tell to digest this thread before her final decision. If she doesn't take your advice, there's little you can do.

If you are sure of the guy's violent behavior, inform the girl's parents.


https://www.nairaland.com/1444825/abused-wives-girlfriends-men

this is really helpful.I didn't know of the existence of the thread, I shouldn't have opened this one

ojokojonwanyi:
Been there. It hurts.
It doesn't make sense for her to stay put in such a relationship.
You should really sit her down and talk to her if she refuses to listen to you or any other person, well, she can enjoy the panel beating while it lasts.

ok. Thanks

[quote author=blueberryp post=27328444] no am not the one. Apart from my telling her to run, she has told herself to run but she can't move her feet.[/quot
If she doesnt heed ur warnings, at least insist she and her beau goes for couples councellin.

blueberryp:
Hello nairalanders, my bestie called me last night to tell me that her boyfriend of 1yr and some months proposed and she said yes, I should be happy but am not.
The reason is, the guy has been abusive since I can remember. He is a very nice guy tho but he beats her up at the slightest provocation and each time my friend would swear that its over between them but she'll go back to him the very next day once he comes begging and then the cycle would continue again.
I am really worried for her since this is her first relationship and after she told me last night I had a horrible nightmare that her mum called and told me she is dead. My mind has not been at peace since then. What should I do?

Tell her your fears, you owe her that as a friend. After that your conscience will be clear and then it's up to her. She may not appreciate you telling her the truth now but no matter what happened in future she'll know she had warning. God may be using you to warn her so please do your part and tell her .

.

[quote author=Sparkle777 post=27331684][/quote] mehn, reading that link in d above is scary, I don't think counselling will change him.

tatiana009:


Tell her your fears, you owe her that as a friend. After that your conscience will be clear and then it's up to her. She may not appreciate you telling her the truth now but no matter what happened in future she'll know she had warning. God may be using you to warn her so please do your part and tell her .

yea, am thinking of telling her parents about it

Na wao