September 19th , 11Am, General Hospital.

Dr T.Y (as I call her ) broke the news. "Ymodulus if you keep on leaving your life the way you are, you will give up the ghost at an early age". ( https://www.nairaland.com/1910568/need-contribution-desperate ).

I knew what she meant I just smiled and acted like I never cared. Truth be told am not scared of dieing. At least I have my will with my lawyer lol! ( joking ). Ever since she made that statement have felt the need to be blunt to everyone who I talk too, telling them the truth even if it hurts.




I don't have a diary, I don't write things into a diary. I imprint myself into the sky and when the sunlight shines brightly, I can stand under the sun's rays and everything I have imprinted of myself into the sky, I will begin to see again, feel again, remember. And when the wind begins to blow, it blows the details over my face, and I remember everything I left in the sky and see new things being born.

I am unwritten. I am Dead, My life is another Name to Sorrows and Suffering, I am Ymodulus but you can call me The Psycho. This is my Diary. Narrating my Pains / Sufferings and Death. I have never seen reason to be happy and in my last days I still believe not been happy. I will for once be honest in all I post here




[size=20pt]Welcome to My Dairy
[/size]

I was thinking of the day and time I die. What others will do and how I want things to look. So I came to conclusion that this are my wishes when I die.

1. I don't want to be buried.
2. Please Have my corpse donated to the university of Lagos for medical research.
3. Where wish 3 ain't possible. Have my corpse cremated.
4. Never let my parents nor friends see my corpse
5. Please read me a good funeral speech
6. Do not waste money buying drinks or calling people or organizing a funeral ceremony.
7. Do not cry to me

For when am dead am dead and seize to exist.



[size=18pt]Some are bound to die young By dying young a person stays young in people's memory. If he burns brightly before he dies, his brightness shines for all time[/size] - Dalai Lama (Buddhist Leader )

I just read a quote


I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."


[size=18pt] "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" [/size]

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.


I need you death. I need to die. This life makes no sense. Have no essence. Why do I have to live for others why don't I live for myself

I was thinking of Drugs and reading more about suicide. I was astonished about things I saw , read and came to understand. I believe suicide is always an option. Now am reading about the easiest way to commit suicide


You see one thing I have never done is smoke or sneeze some Marijuana, now I ask my self if today is my last why don't I taste it. I know am asthmatic. Oooo



Incase you don't know I am

1. Asthmatic
2. Use glasses ( Astigmatism. Power of lens -3.0 refractive 90 degrees. Cylinder )
3. Sickle ..

And some one tells me there is a god? Enough of the bull stories.

As I was saying I think marijuana will be cool but I don't know where to get them. Also some drugs or suicide pills will be Nice.



*** guess what I got names to some suicide pills ***

Hey am not thinking of suicide at least not yet but I blive there is a point in our lives where dieing is better than living. And I think I have reached that limit.

After googling the easiest ways if committing suicide. I feel the option of drugs is perfect. I am use to drugs.

Let me tell you a brief story. Since I was 16 4-5 years ago ( my year 1 in the University ). I have been use to drinking all sort of drugs.

Its either its for sickling or asthma of some stupid eyes pill. Or some fake GnLd pills. I literally smell pills all just to live. And be strong...

I have taken the best of the best energy drinks from Power horse to Alabunkun or what its called to Bullet etc. I can tell you their side effect and strong point. Why I am use to this I feel the idea of one commuting suicide by dinking drugs. Is the best and easiest.



Now some drugs pill. I have decided visiting some of the biggest pharmacy in town asking for this set of drugs you know they can be Handy at one Point in time.


I love this but I doubt it can be found in Nigeria

[size=28pt]Count Down begins. The number of days I know not.

[/size]

Thinking and Thinking. I wished I had a Facebook account.

I just feel like scrolling through pictures watching guys and gals smile in happy moment. Awwww so sad. I had no option but to trace back romaciella thread of pictures. Even though I was not happy with what she did that day. Today I look at the pix and smile. You are pretty dear.




[size=19pt]Ok[/size]

I just checked out of the Hotel. Since Saturday I left home. Today I don't feel like going home but going to a club.

Hey!! In my life I rarely attend parties / celebration. I went to my first party last year. Now to clubs my first visit to a club was this year some days back. I feel like visiting one now. I need that vibes, music. I don't like Terry G songs but today I need that madness. That free me now lol!! ( did I just laughed? )



Oo am hungry but am watching my weight. Also I need to visit the Pharmaceutical Store like I promised too.

Later peeps.

Am on the street feel like walking or trexking as some would say. I visited the nearest ATM machine and redrawed some cash. IWhen I saw my Debit Alert and the Available balance I smiled and said to myself if I die what's left of my Money.



I decided to keep working down the road. And something strikes me. Two Hausa Kids in the north here they are called Almajiris. They said to me

Speaking Hausa ' Dan Allah muna jinyunwa '. Translated as please we are hungry.

I looked at them and asked will you eat bread. This I said in Hausa ' Zaku chi Bureadi ? ' .

They replied yes.

I checked round and saw a bakery and I took them in. You see I love one thing about this kids they made me smile. They way they jump up and so happy over Viju milk and bread is astonishing.

I then asked myself. Why aint I satisfied with what I have.?? Why ain't humans satisfied with what they have. I took some pictures of the kids but they were so shy and always dodge the shots. I had to let them be.

Handed N500 each and bid farewell. And they replied me saying in Hausa ' Allah zai bada sa' ah ' translated as God will give u luck.

[size=28pt]Count Down begins. The number of days I know not.

[/size]

I was thinking when you know its hours to death how will you act?

In reply to this I have decided to do the following.


1. State my Apologies
2. Make some fun.
State what my last food and drinks will be.
4. Change my profile pictures on BBM / watsapp to a complete black Pix
5. Etc

..

Its black. Its dark. That's the color.

Last Food I ate.


I didn't eat today. Just took Chocolates with Maltina.

Last means of transportation: Maura ( name in Lagos ), Keke ( name in North ), Tricycle.

Current Location : can't say.

My last drink : Coke + Mix Up substance.


Countdown

Was thinking what's the best place to die. It just strucked me and I said to myself what's the best place.


What's the best place??


1. Best Hotel in town
2. Close to a station
3. At a club
4. Where where where?

death shall not be your portion

I suggest this to be moved to front Page to help us with effective information on where he stays and anyone that knows him physically

We need to save this life... This life needs saving! Sir Ymodulus, please don't do this do us

Dude... U re better than this... Suicide is the easy way out. There are intervention health wise... Stem cell transplant is been done in ubth. Fight for yourself and don't check out just like that.

Please don't do this its not worth it

Let's join hands together in helping this dude

Guys we need ideas from people who knows his wherabouts.

Where there's life, there is hope.

Hadizy
Shinaf
Mayorall
Mastercee
If this isnt an expensive joke, then you guys should let us no how we can help.

everyone has their own problem. don't give up on yours.

Ymodulus:

[size=20pt]Welcome to My Dairy
[/size]

'Dairy', huh? So you sell milk based products?

according to a source... I heard the address of the pharmacy is in minna. so I think pple in minna town can trace him up starting from the pharmacy address.
Pls save a soul

if this is a dream I wish to wake up

Sir Ymodulus. Ure nt worth to die plz. We nid to elp

texazzpete:


'Dairy', huh? So you sell milk based products?

we are talking about suicide attempt here, you still have time to find mistake in his sentence
pple like u En...