I was in d kitchen cooking and my mum came and I just told her of dis issue discussed on nairaland and she said their are some chores I shud neva do 4 my wife. I was like seriously, I ask her abt cooking, she said only if she is tired. she then said when a man does house chores it removes the masculinity in him and unconsciously she begins to lose respect for him. Women like guys dat are manly.

UjSizzle:

Story. I'm talking chickens here. It's strange to find a woman who can't kill a chicken she cooks, skin and chop it up.

And I was only telling the person I quoted that killing anything at all requires some emotional ....(fill in appropriate word).

What has it got to do with embracing feminity?

Strange where?

Yes it requires some stoicism. That's why it's a task better suited to the male species.

If you embraced your feminity, you would be at home with your aversion to violence of all forms.

CoolHunk:
A smart person could always figure these out later in life if need be. But if you kill your children's potential by locking them in some stupid kitchen, et cetera, then O.Y.O.

am glad you said children and not sons... because goodness knows how far the planet would be if we didnt force the girls to kill their potentials in staying home...

personally, i don't mind cooking, i would rather clean and fix the odd and ends of the house. I will cook for the kids, as its for their nutrition. If I have the time and mood, I'll prepare some splendid meals. However, I often find myself with men who can really cook, as in its their profession or passion. It suits me better. I love to sit down to a nice meal, and I will clean the entire kitchen to my satisfaction when am thru. It's a nice compromise IMO... and of course, as I said, I do cook maybe 1-2 times a week...but it's mainly because there's nothing else prepared.... I find cooking a bit basic. However, give me a broken chair, or bed... a rusted bath or something that needs to be stripped, painted and sealed... I'll do it in a heartbeat.

For Your Younger Ones
Jamb, Waec , Gce , Neco And All School Pume
Past Questions On Your Mobile Phone Call
07065496184

ihedinobi2:

Strange where?

Yes it requires some stoicism. That's why it's a task better suited to the male species.

If you embraced your feminity, you would be at home with your aversion to violence of all forms.

You're still speaking Latin.

But then I think you want an argument with the feminazis of this section, not moi.

UjSizzle:

You're still speaking Latin.

But then I think you want an argument with the feminazis of this section, not moi.

Lol. You and me I no know who find trouble pass sef.

You know that I know that you know that I know that you're not a Feminazi and that you're responding to glaring realities.

My mom taught us domestic chores for the same reason that you argued to crackhaus and DesChyke. My grouse is this: we prepare for realities we are willing to face. I don't hate chores, matter of fact my high standards for living in domestic space made me worry whether I could share living space with others. Momma taught me to school myself to ignore unkemptness and not pick up after people because it used to make me so mad to always be doing it.

As for cooking, most of my life I've had an overactive mind so cooking had been a challenge. Add to that a perfectionist streak and an experimentative way of looking at everything and you'll understand why I'd rather not cook for now. I did learn a number of dishes. None of us could avoid that back home.

Here's something I learned regardless: for all her fixation on self-reliance my mom hated it when my dad walked into the kitchen or tried to govern the shopping. Why? Is it possible that the whole self-reliance training actually attacks relationship which works solely because nobody is truly independent?

What if the very thought that we can do alright by ourselves is why we don't value the people we let into our lives correctly? I mean, how can you let someone else take your weight when you've something you trust more than them? And how can a woman or man enjoy a relationship where they are practically irrelevant?

Because of where I've been and what I've seen I will not teach my boys to do chores. I will teach them rather to appreciate them. I will teach my girls to appreciate the man's role too, not to become self-reliant. Self-reliance does not help relationship. It negates it.

There.

ihedinobi2:

Lol. You and me I no know who find trouble pass sef.

You know that I know that you know that I know that you're not a Feminazi and that you're responding to glaring realities.

My mom taught us domestic chores for the same reason that you argued to crackhaus and DesChyke. My grouse is this: we prepare for realities we are willing to face. I don't hate chores, matter of fact my high standards for living in domestic space made me worry whether I could share living space with others. Momma taught me to school myself to ignore unkemptness and not pick up after people because it used to make me so mad to always be doing it.

As for cooking, most of my life I've had an overactive mind so cooking had been a challenge. Add to that a perfectionist streak and an experimentative way of looking at everything and you'll understand why I'd rather not cook for now. I did learn a number of dishes. None of us could avoid that back home.

Here's something I learned regardless: for all her fixation on self-reliance my mom hated it when my dad walked into the kitchen or tried to govern the shopping. Why? Is it possible that the whole self-reliance training actually attacks relationship which works solely because nobody is truly independent?

What if the very thought that we can do alright by ourselves is why we don't value the people we let into our lives correctly? I mean, how can you let someone else take your weight when you've something you trust more than them? And how can a woman or man enjoy a relationship where they are practically irrelevant?

Because of where I've been and what I've seen I will not teach my boys to do chores. I will teach them rather to appreciate them. I will teach my girls to appreciate the man's role too, not to become self-reliant. Self-reliance does not help relationship. It negates it.

There.

So to you a person must be dependent to be able to have and maintain a relationship?

Should ladies quit their jobs then and become dependent?

carefreewannabe:


So to you a person must be dependent to be able to have and maintain a relationship?

Should ladies quit their jobs then and become dependent?

Oho my thoughts here too. I thought men didnt like clinging vines? I would rather a man that can clean/pick up after himself than one that is 'helpless'

carefreewannabe:


So to you a person must be dependent to be able to have and maintain a relationship?

Should ladies quit their jobs then and become dependent?

I realised that men as much as they might try to deny it, have a lot of of problem with self esteem.
They are also so threatened by feminism that even when you are making an independent contribution based in personal opinions, they find a way to sneak feminism into the discuss.

I've spent the past few post on this thread and another, talking about preparing people for autonomy if the situation ever arises, and yet what I'm reading here is someone saying people should not be independent in relationships lol.

My children will learn to fend for themselves. And they will learn that relationships are partnerships....which ever way he and his woman decide to handle that is their business. But God help me if I won't feel like I've failed as a mother should his wife leave him someday (God forbid) and he's such a wreak and confused.

What we just have here are people who feel the need to validate their manhood and positions everytime. A boss knows he is a boss, and his woman knows he is too

nomabeeee:
I learnt how to do a lot of domestic work while I was growing up..if you will agree with me,mothers are only concerned about their girl-child being domestically inclined. They teach their girl-child probably because they feel knowing or doing domestic work is meant for just the female..

I personally don't agree to the fact that domestic work is meant for only the female..I think mothers should also teach their boy-child domestic work too..if you can teach your girl how to sweep,clean,cook,do the dishes and laundry then your boy should also learn that as well..it goes a long way..

The importance of the boy-child being domestically inclined is that when he grows up,he stands on his own.That knowledge helps him take care of his personal needs not to go about looking for someone to do it for him..this is my opinion...

Nothing wrong with that, but a girl should learn how to take care of a family, after all, she's the one who will carry the baby.

There is also nothing wrong with the man helping out with chores.

However, I think nigerian men also have to learn more about general house repairs as opposed to housekeeping.

UjSizzle:

I realised that men as much as they might try to deny it, have a lot of of problem with self esteem.
They are also so threatened by feminism that even when you are making an independent contribution based in personal opinions, they find a way to sneak feminism into the discuss.

I've spent the past few post on this thread and another, talking about preparing people for autonomy if the situation ever arises, and yet what I'm reading here is someone saying people should not be independent in relationships lol.

My children will learn to fend for themselves. And they will learn that relationships are partnerships....which ever way he and his woman decide to handle that is their business. But God help me if I won't feel like I've failed as a mother should his wife leave him someday (God forbid) and he's such a wreak and confused.

What we just have here are people who feel the need to validate their manhood and positions everytime. A boss knows he is a boss, and his woman knows he is too

@bold

EXACTLY!

mother is different from wife.

you can only have one mother (ie whoever fulfills that mother role) but wife is a bit more ambiguous.

Its not for nothing that women fight themselves in order to snag a man, you dont hear of women fighting in order to be a grown man's mother.

In Africa (at least in Nigeria), if a woman decides to leave, its not a reflection on the man's family per se, and there are so many females who have been lining up for a long time hoping the wife will do exactly that so they can grasp him. So how exactly is the man's family or mother supposed to be involved here?

lord have mercy o.

carefreewannabe:


So to you a person must be dependent to be able to have and maintain a relationship?

Should ladies quit their jobs then and become dependent?

Do go on and explain what the value proposition in a relationship is when you recognize no need for the other party.

In the event that you cannot find any value, do explain why relationships can happen without them.

As for women leaving their jobs, I am yet to see how their jobs make them independent.

UjSizzle:

I realised that men as much as they might try to deny it, have a lot of of problem with self esteem.
They are also so threatened by feminism that even when you are making an independent contribution based in personal opinions, they find a way to sneak feminism into the discuss.

I've spent the past few post on this thread and another, talking about preparing people for autonomy if the situation ever arises, and yet what I'm reading here is someone saying people should not be independent in relationships lol.

My children will learn to fend for themselves. And they will learn that relationships are partnerships....which ever way he and his woman decide to handle that is their business. But God help me if I won't feel like I've failed as a mother should his wife leave him someday (God forbid) and he's such a wreak and confused.

What we just have here are people who feel the need to validate their manhood and positions everytime. A boss knows he is a boss, and his woman knows he is too

@highlighted, I don't know about self-esteem, I do know about pride. And I don't know about any men who deny that their pride matters to them or that it is vulnerable to some things. We are proud animals, men. We don't deny that. It only does everyone good to recognize that about us just like it does everyone good to recognize that women want ti be babied and made to feel secure.

We are different, men and women, blurring the lines will not make reality any better.

As a matter of fact, things like divorce don't just happen to us, do they? Are they not the results of decisions we make? What decisions are those? Might they be such as replace the people we should be trusting with other substitutes?

I agree that we can all go overboard with this whole thing. But I maintain that people who step into a relationship with a backdoor in mind will also step out of it.

And I maintain that it is my responsibility to teach my children not how to handle divorce but how to form and build strong lasting relationships.


PS. If I'm threatened by feminism it is in so far as it affects the quality of relationships I can build. You see, I hope for a woman I can love freely, with abandon, someone I can rest in and I hope for children who are not average because they are trained for everything but who are excellent in their particular roles and abilities. As long as feminism messes with any of these things you can be sure that I'm threatened and I will respond accordingly.

ihedinobi2:

Do go on and explain what the value proposition in a relationship is when you recognize no need for the other party.


In the event that you cannot find any value, do explain why relationships can happen without them.

As for women leaving their jobs, I am yet to see how their jobs make them independent.

Ok now that we know that the value proposition of your relationship is determined by her doing household chores for you, what are the benefits of relationships for women who make their own money?

carefreewannabe:


Ok now that we know that the value proposition of your relationship is determined by her doing household chores for you, what are the benefits of relationships for women who make their own money?

You do love your unilateral assumptions, don't you?

ihedinobi2:

You do love your unilateral assumptions, don't you?

Come on, I am sincerely interested in your point of view.

You said that self-reliance is counterproductive to lasting relationships, haven't you?
So PLEASE tell me how a man should depend on a woman and a woman on a man to have and maintain a relationship?

carefreewannabe:


Come on, I am sincerely interested in your point of view.

You said that self-reliance is counterproductive to lasting relationships, haven't you?
So PLEASE tell me how a man should depend on a woman and a woman on a man to have and maintain a relationship?

You have very curious way of showing your "sincere interest".

ihedinobi2:

You have very curious way of showing your "sincere interest".

Can you please answer my questions now?

carefreewannabe:


Can you please answer my questions now?

No, I'll pass. I'm not looking for a bar brawl, thank you.

ihedinobi2:

No, I'll pass. I'm not looking for a bar brawl, thank you.

I see, you realized that what you said did not make sense.

carefreewannabe:


I see, you realized that what you said did not make sense.

UjSizzle:

I realised that men as much as they might try to deny it, have a lot of of problem with self esteem.
They are also so threatened by feminism that even when you are making an independent contribution based in personal opinions, they find a way to sneak feminism into the discuss.

I've spent the past few post on this thread and another, talking about preparing people for autonomy if the situation ever arises, and yet what I'm reading here is someone saying people should not be independent in relationships lol.

My children will learn to fend for themselves. And they will learn that relationships are partnerships....which ever way he and his woman decide to handle that is their business. But God help me if I won't feel like I've failed as a mother should his wife leave him someday (God forbid) and he's such a wreak and confused.

What we just have here are people who feel the need to validate their manhood and positions everytime. A boss knows he is a boss, and his woman knows he is too

@bolded:

Very true

Threeaces:


Please, marry me?

lolzz..

bigdiva:
what the Bleep is domestically inclined? and why the double Bleep is this on the front page> hian oh!

Welcome back. You've been away for a long time.

spacyzuma:

Welcome back. You've been away for a long time.

my account was lost with the nairaland fiasco...only realised that it got recovered recently...

READ MY STORY ON HOW I HAVE BABY.
My Name is Moral,i live in California,i have a big testimony to say to the people who have Womb problem, I have been married for four years without any child, nor pregnancy and so i became very sad and lost hope in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant and this really make life so hard for me and this made my husband to turn away from me.My sister in-law told me about DR EZIKE from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explained to him. He told me not to worry and that everything we soon be okay.He cast a spell and it was a miracle to my greatest surprise three days later my husband came back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,and Dr.EZIKE he gave me just water from his temple to drink and he also gave my husband some thing to rub before we made love.just few months later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (boy and girl) we are now a happy family.i will advice you to email him now,ID:drezikespellcasterhome@outlook.com I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via Email:drezikespellcasterhome@outlook.com if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life.his mobile number on what/apps:+2348167554235.....