My Father Hates Me! - Family - Nairaland
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| My Father Hates Me! by elwire: 11:05am On Nov 15, 2014 |
i just don't know how to satisfy this man he divorced my mom when i was 4yrs am now 18 buh my dad hate me....in a family of six he shows all my brothers luv....he always want me to work for him whc i ill obey unlike my brothers....he slap me infront of his freinds insult me call me names i swear i jux dont know what to do to please him... My step mum also hates me i once liv our house i went to my grandma my popsy followed and told her that am lying bla bla...i was sent back home...i stole his shaving stick and went for DNA test whc my friend helped me d result was positive he was my father...my mom is married in Egypt..she jux call me sometimes and told me dat u ve to bear with my father...he dont pay my fees my mom does....jux dis morning he hit me with a kettle because m playin with one of my niece telling me dat i wantu break her hand because she s not my kid....dam!!! i jux feel like committing suicide i hate myslf am just depressed....please your advice is needed...m actually an active nairalander buh i created this account to hide my identity...!! 8 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by waleyp(m): 11:15am On Nov 15, 2014 |
Bro this is hard..... I wonder what happened when you were given birth.... Maybe you remind him of something back in the days,i dont know but am just saying... Just know that you cant commit suicide.. That would be worse.... Believe me all you ve to do is get yourself into a university.... That will enable you to be away from him for a while..... I think you ve a bright future and all these would be part of your story..... Just endure. 58 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by elwire: 11:23am On Nov 15, 2014 |
waleyp:am now in the University 100level my mom paid all my fees....he said i ill not go back to hostel i ve to be working for him at home...from my house to the uni is approximately 30 to 1hr journey...my mum ve to send tp fair for me each month.....i hate this man i swear! 6 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by zizazizu: 11:27am On Nov 15, 2014 |
Most divorced men living with a kid produced in the failed marriage do see their partner in the kid. It takes great men to not continually see the evil of the divorced partner in the kid. Unfortunately, it seems, your father has not risen above that. I advice that you thicken your mind's armour and know that, as needed as it is to experience a father's love and approval, it isn't the end of the world. His hatred and bitterness towards you is timed if you stay focused and fight your way through school, life and all other odds to come out on top. Instead of thinking of exiting life like a coward via suicide, I think you should man up and after forgiving him for the past and for the next 40 years (advanced forgiveness), live life with gratitude and a sense of purpose. Best of luck bro! 61 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by waleyp(m): 11:28am On Nov 15, 2014 |
Bro I dont even know what to say..... tell ur mum u want to get into hostel.... tell ur dad that going from home to school is affecting ur grade in school that u need to move to hostel... or what do u ve in mind of doing? U on whatsapp? So we can talk better? 5 Likes |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by elwire: 11:29am On Nov 15, 2014 |
zizazizu:thanks bro! 2 Likes |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by Ezedon(m): 11:43am On Nov 15, 2014 |
If your father hates you hate him back and ignore him in every thing thats the best way to pay him back 24 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by silkguacamole: 1:10pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
I'd advice you look for someone to talk to, like a father-figure, someone you can look up to and will advice you correctly. At 18 you know what's right and wrong, and this, this situation, is wrong. Reporting your father to others won't help. Develop a thick skin and be determined to succeed against all odds. He will be the one to BEG your forgiveness when the time is right. I do feel heartbroken for you. But take this as a phase. You definitely won't be under his care forever. Legally, you are an adult at age 18. 14 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by Nobody: 1:23pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
OP, I'm sorry you're going through this. This sort of environment you're living in is not healthy and based on what you've written, it's definitely taking a toll on you. If you continue to stay there it might start affecting your concentration too, if it hasn't already. Talk to your mom and tell her what's going on is affecting your well-being and you want to live on campus. Money doesn't seem to be an issue for her and she can certainly help pay your accommodation fees. She might be worried about what relatives would think, but that should be the least of her worries right now. Your mother is not obligated to him in any way, anymore (they divorced when you were 4) and at 18, neither are you. You are being abused. He hit you with a kettle today, tomorrow it might be something else. Please leave while you can. 42 Likes |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by beau49: 1:27pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
I don't know if this is the right thing to do but if I were you I would come up with an excuse so I can move into the hostel. Because as it is now you are building up resentment and it push you to doing something you might regret. On a second thought,the man might not realise what he is doing. If you can talk to him and let him know how you are feeling maybe he would change. Just hold on and don't dwell on those suicidal thoughts. Its just a phase,it will pass. Best wishes. 4 Likes |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by Nobody: 1:34pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Im really sorry for what you are going through. I feel your dad sees a lot of likeness/similarities between you and your mum. I dnt know why fathers who divorce tend to push the anger to their kids. Very common attitude. The people above me have echoed my thoughts. Just focus on making yourself happy no matter what. 3 Likes |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by Chiefpriest1(m): 1:46pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Unfortunately, we might never get to hear ur dad's side of the story. It is rare to see parents HATE their own blood. My young man, you should realise that because of ur age bracket and for the fact that many teenagers are usually rebellious at that stage,you might need to check yourself and see what you are doing wrong. It is almost impossible for your father to 'hate' you if you really are not the stubborn type or the type that talks back at your father. Forget what you watch on TV, this is africa where parents still hold the aces. You might need to examine yourself. I am not trying to hold brief for your father, who probably still sees you as a kid, but my point is that if there are things you do that make him angry, you might need to turn a new leaf. Its easy for ur fellow teenagers here to take sides with you, however, i believe you will u understand when you become a father yourself. In the case of your cousin, I guess he was angry you might injure him/her, especially if you like rough play. But whatever it is, stay calm, keep your head up. Its only for a short time. Face ur studies, do well and you ll soon be enjoying your independence. Be good! 30 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by askralph(m): 1:50pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Best just to be strong for now. try and ignore everything he is doing until you grow out into your own man. your success would lead you away from him and then you won't have to deal with all he's abuses. what of your mum? have you spoken to her about transferring to egypt? since she can take care of you and your dad really doesn't care I think you should speak to her. Just take it easy for now though and don't do anything you'l regret. check out my blog for advices. it's on my signature. 1 Like |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by elwire: 2:37pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
THANKS brothers/sisters...! |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by haftob(m): 4:53pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
I think u need to get into a hostel, tell ur mum to provide the money for the hostel. U can open up to a friendly lecturer in ur dept about the issue so dat he can help convince ur dad dat u need to b in the hostel for gud academic performance. Remember dat the eyes of someone dat wud b great in life will definitely see enough! 3 Likes |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by MARKone(m): 5:08pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
zizazizu: Nice one! OP, he has said it all. Just remain focused, set your target(positive) and work very hard in achieving that set goal. Know that, that journey will overwhelming and perilous, but you have to stay focused, stay away from any form of distractions, bad friends, and always pray to God. You are still young, with a lot of time to shape your future the way it will suit you. Like I always say, make it and watch the man grin from ear to ear "yeah this is my son in whom I am well pleased" it will now left for you to forgive and forget. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by Youngzedd(m): 9:02pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
zizazizu:
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| Re: My Father Hates Me! by fittty(m): 9:02pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
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| Re: My Father Hates Me! by Nobody: 9:02pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Ok |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by mcdokwe(m): 9:02pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Odikwa serious. I would hold the same view if I were your age. While growing up, my dad used to put a lot of pressure on me to the point I questioned if I my parents were really mine, but in my own case I must admit I did things I am not proud of now and that made it worse. But growing up, I discovered that of all my siblings, I happened to be the one who was better skilled in my dad's line of trade and he would rather have me around than others, there are things my dad discussed with me that he didn't with my elder bro and we joked more and played like we were age mates, that's is as opposed to his dealings with my elder bro which was always straight to the point. From this I discovered he actually loved me more but didn't like some things I did and it knowing that helped me change in a lot of ways. Maybe you should find out those things about you he is not comfortable with rather than assuming he hates you. Thank you 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by DICKtator: 9:02pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Move away. He is so valueless in your life His new punnnanny may be the person instigating him Stay with cousins and friends Be focused in school Be the pride of your mom. Make that money Turn that negativity to positivity! If you commit suicide, that means you allowed them to win and I tellya, The elusive Satan would even reject you in "her?" "his?" elusive kingdom for being dumb a enough to commit suicide! Be on T.V. like Lamar Odom That old man would come back begging and ish! Thank me later  8 Likes |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by Nobody: 9:03pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Too Bad..  |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by coolvitus(m): 9:03pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Love him |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by iceberylin(m): 9:03pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Bro,your feeling my pain  |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by EbuGeneral(m): 9:03pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
. |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by AlfaSeltzer(m): 9:03pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Maybe he's not really your father and he knows it. Speak to your mum. |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by timilehing(m): 9:03pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Are you the firstborn?? If yes then I guess issue surrounding your pregnancy isn't clear. Only your Mum can help you here |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by abbeyoye2001(m): 9:04pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
U have to go spiritual bro! Pray for him |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by trisha01(f): 9:04pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
 touchin |
| Re: My Father Hates Me! by eugenela(m): 9:04pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Re-define your way of life to him........... |
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