One of my girlfriends is mad with her boyfriend because a picture posted on Facebook showing him with a some girl sitting on his lap and his arms wrapped around her . . . sorta like the way a boyfriend and girlfriend would. My friend was even madder cuz people kept calling her to ask if they'd broken up.

I called him up and asked him about her and he said that girl was his best friend and there was nothing going on between them. I then asked him why he couldn't hang out with his girlfriend like that. He said that he loved her but she is not his best friend; they don't share similiar interests.

Ladies: Is your boyfriend/husband your best friend? How would you feel hearing your boyfriend tell you that you are not his best friend?

Guys: Same as above . . . just switch it to girlfriend or whatever.

DaPhoenix:

One of my girlfriends is mad with her boyfriend because a picture posted on Facebook showing him with a some girl sitting on his lap and his arms wrapped around her . . . sorta like the way a boyfriend and girlfriend would. My friend was even madder because people kept calling her to ask if they'd broken up.

I called him up and asked him about her and he said that girl was his best friend and there was nothing going on between them. I then asked him why he couldn't hang out with his girlfriend like that. He said that he loved her but she is not his best friend; they don't share similar interests.

Ladies: Is your boyfriend/husband your best friend? How would you feel hearing your boyfriend tell you that you are not his best friend?

Guys: Same as above . . . just switch it to girlfriend or whatever.

That statement right there got me thinking. Why can't he just hang out with his girlfriend like he does his best friend. When he said that, it almost means hes not even giving his girlfriend a chance to become compatible with him because hes too busy hanging out with his best friend. And sometimes that can lead to them being lovers. I believe to have a strong relationship, you need to be friends first, everything else is secondary. So your friends might want to check that. I would be kind of worried about his statement. Easy to drift when there is no friendship and no compatibility.

Thats bullsh?t
D guys a f*uking player
Bestfriend my a§§ doesnt d bestfriend av a guy dat wud complain bout d pics too?
Either d guy is a player or he's naive while d bestfriend's playing a fast move on him.

Not necessarily. I mean it could just be his best friend. But I am just saying I would be kind of worried, that this man wouldn't consider me a friend at all, and not even making an effort to become my friend, and I am his girlfriend!

This could never work. There would always be distrust in this kind of 3 way relationship. Not like the guy cannot have close female friends but a best friend? Thats like a slap in the face.

Akinagirl:




That statement right there got me thinking. Why can't he just hang out with his girlfriend like he does his best friend. When he said that, it almost means hes not even giving his girlfriend a chance to become compatible with him because hes too busy hanging out with his best friend. And sometimes that can lead to them being lovers. I believe to have a strong relationship, you need to be friends first, everything else is secondary. So your friends might want to check that. I would be kind of worried about his statement. Easy to drift when there is no friendship and no compatibility.

I agree with what you have written and could not have said it better myself. He is my best friend and the only way I would have it. We enjoy most of the same things and just get each other. I know I would be deeply hurt if I ever saw a picture like that or he told me that i was not is best friend. I know that I can tell him anything and it stays between us. I know that he can see me at my worse and still not look away.

Like you said the girlfriend needs to check this and check it quick she might loose her man to his best friend. Who would want to spend thier life with someone that they dont share any interests or common things. You dont have to like everything i do like iice said but we should share something in common otherwise what connects us? And what is the point in dating someone if not to lead to marriage?

Akinagirl:

That statement right there got me thinking. Why can't he just hang out with his girlfriend like he does his best friend. When he said that, it almost means hes not even giving his girlfriend a chance to become compatible with him because hes too busy hanging out with his best friend. And sometimes that can lead to them being lovers. I believe to have a strong relationship, you need to be friends first, everything else is secondary. So your friends might want to check that. I would be kind of worried about his statement. Easy to drift when there is no friendship and no compatibility.

Absolutely. . . for me it is important that we r friends and can do stuff togther. . . if we cant hav fun, as in regular everyday fun and just hang out, then ther is no point in having a relationship. the sad part tho is that when such a relationship ends, the friendship and d closeness remains. . .

I am best friends with my ex and when he is a relationship we actaully make an effort to stay apart as much as possible as it makes it awkward, esp with his girlfriend. It is really hard to end or cool off on a friendship that has had ages to grow so it wld be almost unrealistic to expect him to end it. Ok d pose in d picture was a tad insensitive but d girlfriend isnt completely blameless, she shd at least make an effort to share in his interests, or these kinds of situation wld arise. she cant hoestly expect d guy to cut off his best friend without being available to taker her place?

@Hotness
If u two 're still so cool as Ex. Y did did u break up with him.

I understand being friends wit u ex but BESTFRIEND hmmmmm.

sistawoman:

And what is the point in dating someone if not to lead to marriage?

There are many.

Not all relationships can or should lead to marriage. Some people value companions much more that the documented husband/wife arrangement. Marriage is over rater jor.

Tell your friend to reconsider her relationship. It is a huge red flag if he doesn't consider her a friend.

@ spike
Tell her its called casual relationships or can also be cald FRIENDS WITH BENEFIT.

"Friends with benefits"

So when all's said and done, who's the loser and who's the victor?_{there's no such thing as a draw}


______________


@ post.

why hang on to a relationship if you cannot enjoy his / her company? except there's cash / kind rewards.

Deshannel:

@Hotness
If u two 're still so cool as Ex. Y did did u break up with him.

I understand being friends wit u ex but BESTFRIEND hmmmmm.

nuthin wrong with being best friends with d opposite sex or with ur ex. . . we were friends first and we got along great. . . we totally understand each other and hav d same interets, we can hang out with each other for days and not get bored. it is rare to find someone who u can be totally open with.

@ topic
say they were friends first befor d guy got into a relationship. . . u cant honestly expect him to end the friendship just like that. it is really rare to find someone who gets u completely and sometimes thats all it is, it doesnt always hav to get romantic and while i can understand how ur friend feels, she has to rember the best friend was there b4 she came into d picture

Like hotness said, the pose in the picture was very insensitive and its also sending the wrong message. Maybe he is unconsciously sending the message that he wants to be with his best friend. Just a thought.

Hehehehahaha
@kokoye,
Ofcourse u know d ans to ur questn.

Thanks for your comments guys but I still feel that he should make an effort to be bestfriends with her . . . I mean you can't have just one bestfriend.

@ topic

No!

spikedcylinder:


Marriage is over rater jor.

i respectfully disagree with u.
wait till it happens & u'ld be asking why the hell it took so long

@topic, I think we're ignoring the main thing here; your friend is pretty jealous. She's jealous of the fact that her boyfriend is close friends with another girl. It is really not a bad thing though, it's normal to feel jealous. She just needs to know how to control it. She should be the one who should try to be friends with her boyfriend's friends both male and especially female just like how he is friends with his girlfriend's friends like you (I'm assuming since you have his number).

Anyway, as per his comment, there is nothing wrong with him being best friends with the other girl. Like someone else said, he probably knew the best friend first before he fell in love with the girlfriend. Plus, he says nothing is going on and I believe him because I've got female friends who are my best friends and I haven't done shit to them. We just kick it all the time and that's that so your friend would be wrong to break up with him or anything.

DaPhoenix:

Thanks for your comments guys but I still feel that he should make an effort to be bestfriends with her . . . I mean you can't have just one bestfriend.

Agreed but like he said they don't share similar interests so he can't be best friends with her and that is probably what he loves about her (that they don't share the same interests thus some variety in the relationship to spice it up). But then again both of them need to work it out and bring some excitement into the relationship . . . this whole jealousy thing is just a phase.

@Stephen, mon cher I see what you're if she was jealous I would know. She has tried to connect with his friends but its seems like they all be hating on her. I know there was a time she gave up because it just wasn't working. However, you're right on point about the excitement part because he's the kind who loves to go out to parties and she's more like let's sit and watch a movie.

Btw, I see you tryna be a Doctor Phil or something

beyond being mad, what is the girlfriend doing to become a more intimate part of his life?

DavidDylan:

beyond being mad, what is the girlfriend doing to become a more intimate part of his life?

exactly what i was going to say. . .

why is d balme on d guy? if she has such a problem with his being so close to another girl, why hasnt she tried to adapt to his lifestyle?

He has got to be for it to work for me,

@ David, Granted, she let her emotions get the best of her but trust me, she's tried to be friends with his friends. Sometimes, she tells us (our mutual friends and I) about how she tries to sit and talk with him but its seems like all he cares about is the next big party or event.

DaPhoenix:

@ David, Granted, she let her emotions get the best of her but trust me, she's tried to be friends with his friends. Sometimes, she tells us (our mutual friends and I) about how she tries to sit and talk with him but its seems like all he cares about is the next big party or event.

Looks like she shld take a hike. the guy doesnt sound like he is ready to be in a responsible relationship with her. Its impossible to date a woman with totally opposite interests and have another as your "best friend". Something's gotta give at some point.

Say aurevoir to a player and find a better guy.

DaPhoenix:

@Stephen, mon cher I see what you're if she was jealous I would know. She has tried to connect with his friends but its seems like they all be hating on her. I know there was a time she gave up because it just wasn't working. However, you're right on point about the excitement part because he's the kind who loves to go out to parties and she's more like let's sit and watch a movie.

DaPhoenix:

@ David, Granted, she let her emotions get the best of her but trust me, she's tried to be friends with his friends. Sometimes, she tells us (our mutual friends and I) about how she tries to sit and talk with him but its seems like all he cares about is the next big party or event.

Ms. Phoenix, I know you want to stick up for your friend but you know she's being jealous. She can't stand the fact that some other girl is her boyfriend's best friend. They both should find a common ground; she needs to go out more and he needs to know when not to go out instead have some alone time with her. I don't want to be a pessimist, but judging from all you've said about the relationship, I don't this lasting very long unless they switch things up.  

DaPhoenix:

between, I see you trying to be a Doctor Phil or something

LOL!!! I try.

He isn't a playa. . . he just isn't that romantic You need to see two of them when they actually do something together, they look soo good together. I think its the fact that they are so different from each other that is keeping them together.

@Stephen, did I mention they have been going out for a little over a year now?

DaPhoenix:

He isn't a playa. . . he just isn't that romantic You need to see two of them when they actually do something together, they look soo good together. I think its the fact that they are so different from each other that is keeping them together.

@Stephen, did I mention they have been going out for a little over a year now?

Oh that's good. Well, then I guess it's just a phase then. Was the picture that bad for people to be hitting her up asking if they broke up? Good thing I don't have a facebook account

I would still leak that one picture on the net somehow lol. Aren't you gon' answer those last two questions?

DaPhoenix:

I would still leak that one picture on the net somehow lol.

LMAO I don't know which one but I'd do the same to you.

DaPhoenix:

Aren't you gon' answer those last two questions?

Dang even after all I said?

1) N/A
2) It will be nice to hear that I am but realistically, I don't expect to be her best friend especially since she has had some friends since childhood and I met her some months ago.

Rebellious, there's always sth up with your friends