In a serious, commited relationship where the guy is expecting the girl to help out with his house work * not that am saying it improper* i as a person can do all but when it come to washing cloths hmmmm:/ that where the real big deal comes in. Am really in a very tight corner right now cause all is not well with my relationship, i need sound and matured advice on this, your opinions and comments are highly welcomed tnx.

You can't wash or what?

Both of you are not yet married and u expect her to be your drycleaner, is it proper? What if i turn ur sis that way will u be happy with me?

Zeemoor:
You can't wash or what?

why not i can wash but this a very different situation

Ogoanita:
why not i can wash but this a very different situation

Ok, I get it
You can but you won't do your man's laundry because you aren't married to him yet, yes?
~
I have no problem whatsoever catering to the man I love
I don't see helping with house chores and the likes a big deal as long as he doesn't see me as his free maid

If you have a problem with it maybe you should discuss that with him, he should not be expecting you to do something like that. At this stage of your relationship it has to be voluntary not mandatory. Seeing you in your neat and nicely ironed clothes is already an indication that you are capable of doing laundry, i dont think its necessary for him to expect anymore from you since your commitment to each other hasn't gone anywhere beyond girlfriend and boyfriend

Mondisweets:
Seeing you in your neat and nicely ironed clothes is already an indication that you are capable of doing laundry

I had to check the girl's profile for the 'neat and nicely ironed cloth'
Mondi, you can smell how neat someone is from afar?

I meant the guy seeing her in her clean and ironed clothes

Zeemoor:

I had to check the girl's profile for the 'neat and nicely ironed cloth'
Mondi, you can smell how neat someone is from afar?

Ogoanita:
In a serious, commited relationship where the guy is expecting the girl to help out with his house work * not that am saying it improper* i as a person can do all but when it come to washing cloths hmmmm:/ that where the real big deal comes in. Am really in a very tight corner right now cause all is not well with my relationship, i need sound and matured advice on this, your opinions and comments are highly welcomed tnx.

I don't understand this emboldened part
And have you discussed it with him and what was his reaction

dre11:


I don't understand this emboldened part
And have you discussed it with him and what was his reaction

i meant hes like showing how upset he is u know hmmm i can wash it jst that my mind no gree for that one

Ogoanita:
i meant hes like showing how upset he is u know hmmm i can wash it jst that my mind no gree for that one

Your mind now gree
Since the thing no gree...... So, I guess ur problem is solve.

That your mind wey no gree allow am gree and u wash his clothes or u make an no gree and u face whatever consequences it follows.. ....

dre11:


Your mind now gree
Since the thing no gree...... So, I guess ur problem is solve.

That your mind wey no gree allow am gree and u wash his clothes or u make an no gree and u face whatever consequences it follows.. ....

dre11:


Your mind now gree
Since the thing no gree...... So, I guess ur problem is solve.

That your mind wey no gree allow am gree and u wash his clothes or u make an no gree and u face whatever consequences it follows.. ....

You should never do anything that you are not comfortable with.

There is no right or wrong in this, to each their own but you should only do what feels right, if it feels wrong, then it is wrong.

Ogoanita:
i meant hes like showing how upset he is u know hmmm i can wash it jst that my mind no gree for that one

Getting upset because you ain't washing his clothes? He no well..Guess he's among the category of men that get gfs/marry because they're tired of chores and also believe chores are meant for females alone.....

There's a limit to what you can do for a bf please especially ones that take you/your kindness for granted. . Also, your mind doesn't support it so don't do it. . I really don't see a reason why he should get upset or your relationship threatened because of a minor issue like this, He obviously doesn't love you. .. Tell him to take his clothes to dry cleaners or bring his sisters over to do the washings since he's so handicapped to it. ..

carefreewannabe:
You should never do anything that you are not comfortable with.

There is no right or wrong in this, to each their own but you should only do what feels right, if it feels wrong, then it is wrong.

wow that a strong one, tnx

Ogoanita:
wow that a strong one, tnx

Hope it helps a bit.

It always helps me. I only do things that I feel comfortable with.

if u are not comfortable with it, then don't do it, you will only feel more miserably.

btw, do u live with him?

In a serious committed relationship you should have taken his laundry and done it even without him having to ask you to do it.
What do you think marriage is all about?
- free maid and slave for husband and children.
-24 hours job, no leave no pay.

You don`t enter into a marriage and then suddenly start washing the cloths because of the ring.
If you love him you can do it with the joy of doing something for him.

AfricanApple:
if u are not comfortable with it, then don't do it, you will only feel more miserably.

btw, do u live with him?

no, not @ all

mutter:
In a serious committed relationship you should have taken his laundry and done it even without him having to ask you to do it.
What do you think marriage is all about?
- free maid and slave for husband and children.
-24 hours job, no leave no pay.

You don`t enter into a marriage and then suddenly start washing the cloths because of the ring.
If you love him you can do it with the joy of doing something for him.

u said marriage @ least, but this jst friendship na, moreover does it now mean that if i dont do hes laundary i dont love him enough?

@OP my advice to you is simple. Upgrade and start dating a guy that has a Washing machine/dryer and also a dish washer, so you don't have to do anything. I am sure you don't like cooking too right?date a guy that loves cooking and or his mother brings him food for it to be refrigerated.

Just curious about you, so my question to you is that WHAT EXACTLY do you women think you even bring into a relationship?any relationship?your minds are fixated on marriages and how to hook a guy alone. But, when it comes to actually doing anything tangible, you start complaining.

Ogoanita:
u said marriage @ least, but this jst friendship na, moreover does it now mean that if i dont do hes laundary i dont love him enough?

In a serious committed relationship you described at the beginning to just friendship...
You are not ready yet for the commitment involved in a marriage.
Read @ Lafflaff123 post- It is very on point!

If you were my sister I would lock you up at home.
What are your own goals in life? Do you demand money from him?

Marriage or relationship nothing should be forced. You were not born to cook and clean, even if you want to it should be a choice and not a right. I learned the hard way, a man like that would always seek to limit you. He would want your whole life designed to run after him and worship him.

I don't know hoe you have presented yourself to him but I am uncomfortable with the idea of being in a relationship just so you get chores done or in a ladys case get her needs met.

He has been raised that way and if you are not ready to be a glorified maid to him and his family members, pound pounded yam manually, wash manually and do it all without a maid forget it. He will ask you to get a job like teaching or a shop so you can have time to be super woman. A man like that believes this is all a woman is good for. You dare not aspire for anything greater, having a career is out of it. Its all about him and what he wants

It is a bf realtionship not marriage.stop playing wifly duties,you are not married to him.even the so called bf will not be happy to hear his sis is washing clothes for a boy

I have no problems catering to my man but it becomes a problem if he starts carrying face when I don't want to do something I do or can do.

Then again OP, have you done his laundry before? Did he ask before you did it? Does he think it's a must you do it for him? If you answer yes to these questions, then your boyfriend feels entitled which isn't really a good thing, still I see no big deal in helping my man with his laundry when I want or if he politely asks.

E be like say two of una dey do power tussle sha and him wan tell you say "I'm the boss" and you kwa wan tell am say "I'm the boss of me", a relationship doesn't have to go that way, plus, you don't have to have that ring before you treat your man right.

Aisha has said it all


NTA

MEANS NOTHING TO ADD.next

carefreewannabe:


Hope it helps a bit.

It always helps me. I only do things that I feel comfortable with.

carefreewannabe:


Hope it helps a bit.

It always helps me. I only do things that I feel comfortable with.

freecocoa:
I have no problems catering to my man but it becomes a problem if he starts carrying face when I don't want to do something I do or can do.

Then again OP, have you done his laundry before? Did he ask before you did it? Does he think it's a must you do it for him? If you answer yes to these questions, then your boyfriend feels entitled which isn't really a good thing, still I see no big deal in helping my man with his laundry when I want or if he politely asks.

E be like say two of una dey do power tussle sha and him wan tell you say "I'm the boss" and you kwa wan tell am say "I'm the boss of me", a relationship doesn't have to go that way, plus, you don't have to have that ring before you treat your man right.

dear nothing like power tussel, although ve donr hes laundry like twice, washing is the house i dislike

Ogoanita:
dear nothing like power tussel, although ve donr hes laundry like twice, washing is the house i dislike

I don't get what you mean by "washing is the house I dislike"

lafflaff123:
@OP my advice to you is simple. Upgrade and start dating a guy that has a Washing machine/dryer and also a dish washer, so you don't have to do anything. I am sure you don't like cooking too right?date a guy that loves cooking and or his mother brings him food for it to be refrigerated.

Just curious about you, so my question to you is that WHAT EXACTLY do you women think you even bring into a relationship?any relationship?your minds are fixated in marriages and how to hook a guy alone. But, when it comes to actually doing anything tangible, you start complaining.

[quote author=lafflaff123 post mr perfect i only need advice and not tongue lashing, i hope uve got sisters?

Ogoanita:
In a serious, commited relationship where the guy is expecting the girl to help out with his house work * not that am saying it improper* i as a person can do all but when it come to washing cloths hmmmm:/ that where the real big deal comes in. Am really in a very tight corner right now cause all is not well with my relationship, i need sound and matured advice on this, your opinions and comments are highly welcomed tnx.

Expecting!!!! . . . that is the word I have an issue with.
You dont force people to do things in a relationship.
If you are constantly expecting people to do things for you, then you can never be appreciative.

Sisi start as you mean to go on. There is nothing wrong in washing his clothes, helping with housework and cooking etc BUT only if you are comfortable with it and its something that you genuingly want to do for your loved one.
We are all different and some things sit with some people more than others and your bf has to understand that. Lady A may have happily washed his clothes, that does not mean that is the blueprint for all other ladys.

This is a reason why many people have married the wrong one, becasue the lady has to pretend to get a foot in the door and as soon as they are married she shows her true colour. Instead of the guy to let the lady be herself and watch her real character, he picks on irrelevant things.

Having all said and done. I dont really understand some relationships at all. Is it not fun for both to sit on wooden stools on a saturday morning and both washing the clothes. He washes and she rinses while both gist and throw soap suds and and water at each other. Some relationships are just too rigid. . . .way too rigid.

Ogoanita:
no, not @ all

so he expects u to be going to his house to wash for him? na wa o.
you just have to talk it through with him, tell him how you feel about it. if you start washing for him now, how will it now be when you are married

I repeat don't do it if you are not comfortable with it