chidekings:
enemies exist,poisons exist,the world is too much for one person to comprehend.

Alcohol is the worst enemy of all,but God said love thy enemy so I'll be drinking like hell tonight.

I didn't make front page my enemies are at work again .
Btw poster someone can step on poison like a buried charm or juju.

how come he hid everything incliding the sofa in the house and could not hide the masquerade stuff

OP is on point.

Similar thing happened to me. Coincidentally it was in PH too. I went to a bank inside Uniport. As I approached the entrance I saw this hot young chick. I asked her what is your name? She said Chika. I said you are Igbo and she retorted no, "I am not Igbo am Ikwerre." I then overheard her say " bia" to her friend. I said to her but that is Igbo now! She said no, it is similar but not Igbo.

Anyway to cut a long story short, we exchanged numbers. Later in the evening she called me and we arranged a date for the following evening. She invited me to her hostel. I went to the hostel the next day. It was a very decent hostel. She said her rent was 205k per year. I was impressed.

She had one of those Muoka foams on the ground, two chairs and a table. I sat on a chair. Eventually she got naked, laid on the foam and beckoned on me to come over. I climbed inside the sack with her. We began to make out. She complimented my sweet smell. Suddenly, she noticed my three karat diamond gold ring. She screamed: "what is that ring for?" I said it is just a cocktail ring and nothing more. She said heck no, why is it shining, I replied that it has diamonds it it.

She said please remove it from your left hand since you are using it to massage my pu*ssy, I obliged. However, she was restless. She asked "is it because of the ring that you smell so good?" I said no that I always smell good and sexy. She then said : "I am scared of your ring " I asked her why and she said it might contain voodoo. I laughed and told her she must have watched too many Nigerian movies. I then told her that I am a humanist that is not superstitious neither have I ever consulted a voodoo priest. Furthermore, I am not a member of any secret society.

She continued to be restless. I told her Chika, you have volunteered to give me some in exchange for what you know I would give you- cash. So what is it that the ring would do to you? She said Nigerians are scary people and that I might use her pus*sy juice for money ritual. She told me she heard that many Hausa Alhaji's would use women's juice to make money. After she said this, I stood up, put on my clothes and opened the door to leave, she said oh I am sorry come on now! I said no and left.

She kept calling and pleading with me for three weeks asking me to give her another chance and I refused. Nigerians are a superstitious bunch and yet they spend 24/7 in Church.

Mzjhulz:
May my enemies not see me dis new year

@yourpersonaltext, i guess those dat hate u are yet to catch a glimpse of u cos no sane man wil hate on such a beauty.

A nice write up there. am thrill.

Even the Bible talked about enemies.

Mzjhulz:
May my enemies not see me dis new year

Just like the poster said, remember you are somebody's enemy, so should I still say Amen to your 'enemy prayer'?

Mzjhulz:
May my enemies not see me dis new year

Aunty na everybody gather enter 2015 ooo ..them go still see you

The prayer na make dem no fit do you bad

Harrychocoberry:
"MY ENEMIES ARE AT WORK"

A former work-mate Jay was giving me the low-down about something that happened to him recently.

A while back, he had attended an 'awesome' Halloween party, and had decided to go as a traditional masquerade. Ingenious right?

Jay brought the mask back home after the party, and hung it as a decoration on his room wall. It was a really grotesque mask – just imagine the alien’s face in the movie Predator. I chided him for hanging up the mask in his room, as it stuck out like a sore thumb, spoiling the overall décor of the place.

Fast forward, a month later, he pulled this really hot chick when he met at a wedding in Ph. They spoke on the phone for days, and then she promised to come visit him one Saturday.

Jay got the place ready for the lass’s visit. He tried to make the pad ‘condusive’.

He took out the sofa from the room, so that the girl would have to sit on the bed.

He turned down the thermostat on his split unit AC so that the place was very chilly, in case his female visitor required ‘warming’.

He ‘arranged’ condoms at every nook and cranny of his pad, to be ready whenever or wherever it went down. He put one on the bedroom dresser, put another under one of the pillows, one on the window seal, another in his pocket, two behind the television unit.

He warned the gateman not to leave his post, to prevent a mix-up.

He did some push-up, pull-ups and bicep curls with really heavy weights. Then he showered, dressed up and sprayed a healthy dose of Pleasures for Men by Estee Lauder.

The girl finally came around 2pm (African time), wearing a really smart tank top, some skin-fitting jeans and some really nice shoes. Jay was like wow! Jay said that she had a figure like a palm-wine keg. 

They chatted a bit, dug into some take-away that Jay had sent his house-boy for, and even watched a bit of the rom-com “Notting Hill”. By the time the part of the movie where Hugh Grant and Julia Robert’s characters climbed a wall into a garden came, Jay and his date had started snogging.

They were making out just fine, almost heading for a technical knock-out, when the girl looked up and noticed the mask.

Jay said that the way this girl flew out of his arms and bed was like a scene from Matrix where Keanu Reeves did a limbo type movement to dodge a bullet in slow motion.
(sorry o,I don't watch nollywood movies)

Her voice trembling, she shreiked ‘What is that? Is that ojuju?”

Jay tried to explain calmly “Nah, love. It is just a simple Halloween mask.”

The girl was not convinced. She moved towards the door. “What is a grotesque mask doing on your wall? What is it? There must be something wrong with you”

Jay tried to explain to this chick and allay her fears. She nor gree o. The die was cast – she even refused to finish the movie. After a while, she received a ‘phantom’ call from her bestie, and said she had to meet her cousin in Rumuokwuta. She bounced out of the crib like she was running from something.

Jay was left with a bruised ego and the damn mask on the wall. He took it down from the wall, and hung it in his living room instead. Let it bother uninvited guests now instead. Like the landlord and his agents.

In Nigeria, people dey fear. And most tragedies are usually blamed on one’s perceived enemies. If a politician got caught in EFCC’s net for misappropriating public funds; he would usually blame it on perceived enemies who are ‘intimidated by his profile.’

A neighbor’s son got caught with stolen car parts. His ma threw herself on the floor, rolling as she cried '‘My enemies have finally gotten me. Mo ti ku o…”

And at that point, I felt like defending her so-called enemies. I could swear I never saw anyone else with her son, when he living it up, blowing money fast. Even his friends would have been weak.

There was a program on TV sometime where a guy said he had just recovered from an ailment. According to him, he had ‘stepped’ on poison which had been an entrapment by his ‘enemies’, and had fallen ill. And I am like, wait a Nigerian minute (which is long by the way if you add African time), which one is ‘step on poison’ again? I never knew people could actually ‘step’ on poison? I thought they just put it in your food or beer, when you stepped away briefly to the loo. Or is there Wi-fi or Bluetooth poison now? But it made me realize how Nigerians feared their enemies.

Sometimes in some quarters, if a person bought a new/used (or Tokunboh or Belgium) automobile in Nigeria, family members would gather and make professions, pouring libations on the tires to ward off enemies.

May you trample over your foes with these big-ass 17 inch rims.

May you never ride shot-gun while your enemies are handling the steering wheel. If it is my Bentley, I don’t mind actually.

May you see your enemies in your rear-view and never with your head-lights.

May your enemies be forever in your boot, but never in your bonnet? Don’t say amen here o. Some Ferraris and Lambos have their engines in the trunk instead.

Someone even prayed: May you never go backwards as you drive this car. All well and good, but you still need to reverse out of this tight-ass parking lot after these prayers end.

At church you could see members of the congregation tapping away on their blackberry or catching 40 winks(sleeping) or scoping flesh lustfully, but as soon as the pastor starts prayers binding and destroying enemies, everyone springs to attention with the chorus of a resounding Amen! And why not; your enemies may park behind you on the church car park, and be no-where to be found after service ends to start with.

If every person has enemies, then that means everyone is somehow an enemy to someone right? Then who are the good people then? Am I someone’s enemy even though I wish no man any evil? Haba, na wetin? My take is that everyone who has a village must have enemies.

Think well. Your enemies checked your SSCE, NECO and JAMB results before you did. They are the ones you hid information from when you got a visa for Jand (even the 3 month one).Your enemies were the last to know when you were interviewing for that choice job, but were the first to know when you landed that lucrative contract. If there is a way to trace your facebook page visitors (like Hi-5 used to have, and Linked-In does), you would see that your enemies check on you 24/7.

If the enemy of my enemy is my friend, should I really be hating and cursing him too?

All these postulations and theories are giving me malaria, abeg. As I go to cool off with some tender cow-leg pepper soup (okay this too is hot), let me pray for each and every one of my dear readers as you're about to enter the 'New Year';

May your pain be champagne.

If you are Fanta Chapman just out of the fridge, your enemies would be Limca in a 23cl ‘solo’ bottle straight from the crate.(dat drink still dey exist).

If you are a Mercedes G Wagon from a V.I. dealership, your enemies would be a Danfo Racer old model with a “For Sale” jerry-can on it.

If you are a Hollywood blockbuster starring Steven Seagul your foes would be a Yoruba movie with wrong English subtitles and gold tooth alatikas.

If you are a Celebrity poker game on ESPN, your enemies would be a local game of Ludo with 2 of the red and green seeds missing and the glass broken.

If you are a packet of Chivita juice, your enemies would be an agbalumon seed spat on the ground.

If you are a Transformers (movie), your enemies would be NEPA transformers with the mercury missing.

* Just joking, but I wish you all well. God bless.

Cc:
Safarigirl
Karchiebabe
Seun
Larrysun
D9ty7
Tosyn2much

#stillThaNewGuyHARRY#
•Chocoberry•

One of the best pieces I've read on Nairaland. My brother you tried, but all these people would rather a pastor tell them their enemy is responsible for them having an accident while under great influence of alcohol than admit they were wrong. Just as said, politicians would steal the community blind and once EFCC come calling, the enemies are at work. Who are the enemies? A young boy will be stealing, yahooing, 419ing, culting, gaying etc once his cup is full, the mother will be first to shout 'enemies '. To me, she is the enemy. For not bringing the child up in the fear of God. Enemies, enemies and enmity prayers is one of the major reasons I dislike pentecostal churches. They ascribe everything bad to an enemy and everything good (even gotten in bad ways) to hard work. It's a total misconception of God and his principles and love for mankind. What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong and not right.

Pentecostals caused everything.

nice article but u wasted a lot of energy to make ur point on Ph incident.
I do not mind how lengthy a post is so long as u keep it interesting

Funny but true.

Got your jokes but read psalm 23.

starlingleanets:
Pentecostals caused everything.

You are wrong bro! Read psalm 23

Here's an educative cultured write up about us.about how we see our Neighbors.
But hell no, it's having lower views by the youth and less comments.
People just wasting away reading non benefiting informations online.tonto and naked pics news will be off more interest to them

Ask some Nigerians how their health is or what the doctor diagonised about their ill health they would say "Doctor sey my enemy has Typhoid"

When I first heard that response it took a long while to decipher the meaning of the response

But then @OP don't demonise Nigerians as they are not alone in this, what we call ENEMIES isn't it what the Whites term HATERS?

iluvweed:
Chai! Am supposed to be the first to comment but my ENEMIES struck me again!

Na wah o! How ur enemies come find u come nairaland

kenonze:
nice article but u wasted a lot of energy to make ur point on Ph incident.
I do not mind how lengthy a post is so long as u keep it interesting

Spot on observation......couldn't finger the connection......twas well wriitten but largely unhelpful for the entire post

I love this post......

I know some people that take offense if you ask how their kids are.they think you trying to wish bad things for their kids.its really sad how some Nigerians feel people are out to ruin their life.they feel their life is better than others and people are jealous of their success.

My enemies will quote the entire OP, just to make me scroll. Thunder fire, I said, thunder FYA

MissMeiya:
Do you have a blog? You're very funny.

Edit: I just want you shameless spacebookers to know that I read the entire OP without rushing, made a relevant comment, and whoa look at that, I'm on the first page. -_-

Nope..I don't have a blog.
I once had but it's no more in existence.
Thanks for the compliment.

They will be over speeding on bad roads. When accident happen, they will start calling their eenemies.

Harrychocoberry:


Nope..I don't have a blog.
I once had but it's no more in existence.
Thanks for the compliment.

You should create one. Witty stuff like this make good read, e.g. naijahusband, naijasinglegirl. They've all got blogs. Good piece you've got up there.

crown777:



You are wrong bro! Read psalm 23

What about it?

Ehe.. Before I get carried away,let me take this medium to let the Mods,super mods know am indeed grateful for pushing this 'crazy' topic of mine to the Frontpage.
Am indeed grateful.

To all those who love it,I do appreciate it also.

Please I'd encourage all to take a peep at my recent article on how to 'TO ATTAIN SUCCESS THIS NEW YEAR'.

So as to get ready for the challenges we all are going to face this year 2015.

Jah Bless each one of us.

I still remain: Harry

Its only created by the pastors to put fear in them.
in other to take that advantage and milk people

starlingleanets:
What about it?

No mind am. You are very right. Those churches are largely responsible for the new breed of Babalawo Christians. Those who worship the god of awillo sharp-sharp and the god of dying by fire hence imaginary enemies have to be conjured up to take the fall whenever their nollywood-themed "breakthroughs" don't occur.

This is mostly common in d south cos we in d north esp core north dont beliv much in this enemy at work thingy.