So I recently met the man of my dreams. . .  the funny thing is I never knew I had a man of my dreams!

It is all supposed to be casual but i hav gone and developed a stupid crush on him, which makes it weird now because we hav already established d dynamics of d relationship.

thing is i am trying to get into his head to figure out if he really is my Mr. right and not just another lust, but i can't for d life of me figure him out.

he speaks in oneliners (which drives me mad b.t.w.) and he just watches me in an eerie way (which drives me even madder). I can't read him and that is really driving me up d wall (i think he's secretly enjoying my torment )

usually with crushes i act on it until it goes away but it isnt going away because i still can't figure him out and its all getting me no where (i am d most impatient person in d world, i knw)

so i need help. . . i am way out of my element here, i usually don't bother with his type because its too much hassle but he really is too sexy to let go 

hmmmnnnn, i'll be back with my response!

i am not a shrink. neither am i an expert in dating and relationship. i have read some of your comments in response to other people's dating and relationship issues. you seem to have an answer to any of such issue.

Now, I'm reading your post. . . . . . . . confused and a little thrown aback. arnt you the same HRH that some of these ladies look to for advice?

this is way different. . .

he knws i like him and we r cool about it. . . but i really need to knw if i really like him or if i hav just developed a new addiction. i just need to get into his head and he isnt letting me 

I'm pretty good at getting what i want but i am not sure of what i want this time, i need to get into his head so i can establish if he really is what i want


[size=5pt]dunno if this makes any sense at all[/size]

Uhhmmn. . .

The first thing you need to get straight me dear lady is this: Despite what the textbooks say,the movies depict,and what you imagine,you'd never get the solution to the dilemma you seem to be embroiled in at present until you realise that true love and stuff is not a mind game!
From what I can infer from your post you seem to think that playing the seduction game and stuff is the key, fk getting in his head and for once act like an idiot in love.
This is how it works, sub-consciously,you have certain markers in place that informs you as regards emotional issues, relationships and stuff, now that i is the obstacle ,but you can make this work for you, how?
When you just let go of all manner of shoulds and shouldn'ts,and just be like the girl next door contemplating her first romance,you act that way,just like the girl next door. But here is your insurance, you can NEVER make a fool hardy mistake as regards your love status with this guy even though you are acting like the girl next door due to the fact that your sub-conscious comes into play independent of you as soon as it receives any stimulus that triggers it to action thus protecting you!, wish I can explain it better. This way,you now have the best of both worlds, you are not wasting valuable energy playing the mind game consciously and your sub-conscious come to your aid anytime you want to make a fool-hardy decision, mind you,he knows that's what you are about that's why you can't figure him out, he's placed a mental smokescreen, using all the principles you know against you, for once you are on the receiving end, how does it feel?,
If you go about it the way I suggest you'd have him stumped as regards your intention, you are reacting exactly the way he's programmed you to react, you are losing the battle me dear, tough I hate to use that word (battle) as the game of love shouldn't be a a war of the roses or a battle of the sexes, it's a divine thing, it saddens me that we've reduced it all to a game, where books are written on it like it's some project or something, well,it is what it is, just let go,stop trying to figure him out and enjoy the relationship. Another dis-advantage of trying to figure him out is this: he knows,so he'll only show you stuff you want to see,this way he's no longer original, infact everything he's said and done til date is suspect, re-evaluate every word,promise,whatever. But note this-if he isn't on to you trying to figure him out then I could be wrong about the above,but if he's in the know and from what I read in your post he seem to be in the know,then the above statement is correct, at least 99%.
So live and let live,me dear,quit figuring hime out,only then will you see the prince or the ogre in him. Good luck.

woah. . . who said anything about love?

I am anything but d girl next door, i dont do mind games and i dont hav any particular principles except being upfront about everythng. problem is he is unresposnive to EVERYTHING. . . how do i evaluate everything he's said when he doesnt say much

haba,,simply ask him nowww!!

I hav asked and constantly ask but all i get r oneliners and that stupid grin that gets me so hot and yet drives me mad becos he isnt giving me anything to work with. . . . arrrrgh!

i swear he is doing this to drive me crazy

probably. but since u av this notions and he behaves this way when u ask:then something must be up!
u may have a strong relationship budding here;relax and enjoy the moment. In such cases, it doesn't help to worry ur head about:helikes me,he likes me not. Just stay cool and watch the tide;u both might just swim in the direction of somtin major,,,,

I knw he likes me. . . d problem is really if "i like him" or "like him not"

methinks u already crazy about him!

wish someone culd be about me ^sighs!

What is this I'm reading girl? Are u going soft on me?

Remember, bad girls don't. Bad girls don't whimp.

Call his bluff and tell him to start talking or u kick him out. Hehehe


Seriously girl, just take things slowly. Play his kind of game. There is no point nailing him as Mr.Right just yet.

HR.hotness:

I knw he likes me. . . d problem is really if "i like him" or "like him not"  

Hmm,then the problem aint him. U just gotta sit down and ask urself the question. What do u want in  man? Has he got it?
Do u see him as a potential bf? What do u see/notice when with him? How do u feel? Providing answers to these questions would then lead u to the next stage which is to aask him what he really wants from u. i.e have a heart-heart talk with him. Am sure he would stop tormenting u.
And lemme guess,u're the type that likes fonting for a guy before making ur feelings known to him,shey?

SOJ:

methinks u already crazy about him!

wish someone culd be about me ^sighs!

ther lies my dilema. . . i don't knw if i am really crazy about him or just crazy about his sexy bod. . . and because i can't figure him out, i can't fig out which it really is 

Tgirl4real:

What is this I'm reading girl? Are u going soft on me?

Remember, bad girls don't. Bad girls don't whimp.

Call his bluff and tell him to start talking or u kick him out. Hehehe

Seriously girl, just take things slowly. Play his kind of game. There is no point nailing him as Mr.Right just yet.

can't do that because we already established that this was nuthin serious. . . only now i think i want it to be serious but i can't be sure


[size=5pt]i knw i am going soft  and its driving me insane  . . . i don't like being put in this position[/size]

nana:

Hmm,then the problem aint him. U just gotta sit down and ask yourself the question. What do u want in  man? Has he got it?
Do u see him as a potential boyfriend? What do u see/notice when with him? How do u feel? Providing answers to these questions would then lead u to the next stage which is to aask him what he really wants from u. i.e have a heart-heart talk with him. Am sure he would stop tormenting u.
And let me guess,u're the type that likes fonting for a guy before making ur feelings known to him,shey?

i hav asked myself all those questions but i don't hav d answers because he wont let me find out what d answers r. . .  I don't front! he knws exactly whats going on with me and he is enjoying d show 

hotness is in love

@Poster, fine you didn't say nuthing about love, cool,but then let me ask, what is it you want from a relationship with a guy you do not feel the big L for?
A fling or what? and Oh! one more thing, the fact that you re-instate you are not exactly on the love train with this dude spells one thing: You are about to board that train me dear if you are not occupying a v.i.p couch already.
But then dis-regard all I've written in response to ur post if all you want is a fling with this guy and nothing written on stone (though I acquiesce there is no such thing as forever). I like to think we are helping each other here and I though you were really stumped as regards the direction to take but it seems it was a mis-conception, I apologise  truly for my bold comments. Keep keeping on.

@ Mitchelin
ur response was truely welcome but i'm not thinkin about love or a relationship at least not yet, i just want to knw d guy properly enough to decide if i really want more with him. . . we already hav a fling going and i feel like i want more. . . but i am not exactly sure if or why i wld ever want more. . . and WITH HIM?

@ Mitchelin
ur response was truely welcome but i'm not thinkin about love or a relationship at least not yet, i just want to knw d guy properly enough to decide if i really want more with him. . . we already hav a fling going and i feel like i want more. . . but i am not exactly sure if or why i would ever want more. . . and WITH HIM?
@Poster, listen,we all ahve to know when it's time to stop,look, and listen to the direction the wind is now blowing, and right now,the wind is blowing in a certain direction you are not comfortable with and why?
You never envisaged yourself being in a committed relationship yet?, when is going to be ripe, if not now, I don't know about your bios and stuff but take it from me,you want to settle down as quickly as you can,by settling down I don't exactly mean saddling yourself with the marriage thing and stuff, I mean caring for someone for them not cos of their looks,virility or sexual prowess. But on the other hand, I don't think you should settle for this chap, he seems to enjoy the way things seem to be going already, you looking for someone to go down that long lonely road with, I don't suggest him!
By questioning urself as regards if the time is ripe for you to ake the big leap, I think somewhere in the cellar of your hheart you know it's time, this is not just smart talk from a guy trying to play mr. know it all,if anything I don't know jack as regards stuff, but I do know this,get on the bus and start FEELING for real,despite what the critics say,you are never more alive than when you are in the dating game.
You do Need more,not Want,but I don't think with him, you've had your fling right?, so asta la vista!!!, move on, and fall foolishly in love.
Pardon the typographical errors,in a rush,no time for spell checks and stuff.

Just an addendum, you cannot in one breath not be thinking about a relationship yet and in the same vein be thinkinh if you want more with him, can't have it both ways innit!, so what's it gonna be me dear lady, it's ur call.

gotta bounce, see a man about a dog, wishing you the best. Hit me up with more views so you feel so inclined.

More likely not . . . another crush . . . leading to another "friends with benefits" stuff and then u're back to square one.

I would say if he gives you the stupid grin, give it to him back!!! Two can play that game!!! Both of you should grin to wherever that leads you. How can you be sitting on pines while he's saucily enjoying himself? *seriously rolling my eyes*

@ HR
I'm truely happy for u jare what a way to go into the new year hold your man tight too, u go gurl,  

Ignore him and give him the one liners.

Let him chase, stop chasing, cuz girlfriend that is what you are doing and he is having fun watching you squirm.

sistawoman:

Ignore him and give him the one liners.

Let him chase, stop chasing, because girlfriend that is what you are doing and he is having fun watching you squirm.

Exactly the reason i'm thinking the feelings are totally one-sided.

haha hahaaa. You're quite intrigued by him. The mystery about him is a challenge to you and you just wanna figure him out quick. U wanna know what he's thinking etc. Sadly most times you never do unless u lot become closer i.e fall in love. You find him interesting because he's that which you cannot figure out at least not yet. BUT I do hope he feels the same way oo

I dont knw how not to chase. . . chasing is what i do. . .  I am appraoching distress (ok that was a tad dramatic   ) but i am very uncomfortable   I wld totally prefer if thsi was a crush, i can handle crushes. . . but i hav never crushed this bad befor  


@ Brash and Smurf. . .  
I am not inlove   I am actaully working hard at not being inlove esp with him  


@ iice and sistawoman

ignoring his game is roughly d plan at this point. . .  he sent me a very vague text msge a few minutes ago. . . i mean d man is so infurating.

@ chika

i figured d only reason he gets under my skin is becos i cant figure him out. . . howerver i also feel if i do figure him out, his hold on me will be broken i guess thats why i am so eager to get to it!

My bad, Im very lazy jare couldnt read what u wrote, okiz just ignore dude then, abbi

HR.hotness:

@ chika

i figured d only reason he gets under my skin is because i can't figure him out. . . howerver i also feel if i do figure him out, his hold on me will be broken i guess thats why i am so eager to get to it!

My dear when you figure him out you will come to realize that there's nothing there. Start giving him monosyllabic answers as well and become distant. He is totally enjoying his "hold" on you right now.