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Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? - Dating And Meet-up Zone - Nairaland

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Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by DWolf(m): 1:27pm On Aug 16, 2006
Hey fellows, I have always wanted to start a relationship with a very attractive lady, one that my friends would see and know i have taste, afterall I am not bad looking. but the irony of it all is that i meet very good ladies with good sense of humor but they are not as attractive as i would have preferred.

I can’t start up a real relationship cause I don’t want to break anyone's heart. Am i making a mistake looking at the outward appearance and not considering the inner beauty of the women i meet? I want to know your feelings my fellow nairaland members
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by Elizabeth(f): 2:17pm On Aug 16, 2006
DWolf take your time,as u said u don't want to break anyone's heart. It depends on the level of your thinking towards a lady, and the likeness u've for her. So, my own advise is that u start with a casual relationship with any lady of your choice and from there things will work out as you want it,but don't be too much committed before judging who she is.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by iice(f): 2:52pm On Aug 16, 2006
I only date smoking hot guys. . . tongue tongue
@Topic, yeah what she said ^
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by twinkledew(f): 2:59pm On Aug 16, 2006
i think you should not think of what others will say about any lady (ies) you date. if you like her others will appreciate her.
The most important features should be personalities rather than physical attributes.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by ozobemem(m): 3:18pm On Aug 16, 2006
thanks guys for ur contributions sor far, my man, all i know is that what u called ur girl is what ur friends will call her ok, beauty or not if there is love, i beg carry go, love is what matter most this days
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by kay4suree(m): 5:27pm On Aug 16, 2006
Abeg iice i do smoke too and am hot please can u consider me? grin
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by iice(f): 5:44pm On Aug 16, 2006
When i said smoking hot i ddnt mean in the context you took it, but its not a bad way to look at it LMAO, nwayz how hot are you? lol tongue tongue
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by donmayor(m): 8:08pm On Aug 16, 2006
Bill Gates is not hot at all, but if he were still a bachelor, i'm 100% sure dat iice would have loved to date him tongue, Follow ur head or ur heart not ur friends opinion. You are making a mistake and I bet u if u don't consider ur ways it's ur heart that would be broken nto the ladies grin
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by shadex1(m): 8:34pm On Aug 16, 2006
dude if she aint got ass like trina n curves like beyonce or tit like pamela or a smile like Janet jackson i advise you leave her n move on,
just kiddin, date who d Bleep u want to date,ur folks r not gon na decide who is gon na make u happy.
peace bro
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by tianshie(m): 9:13pm On Aug 16, 2006
Well bro,if she was pretty with a flat chest and no ass,would you still want her?
Don't be greedy man, God doesn't make apples like J.lo ten a dozen.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by Nobody: 10:45pm On Aug 16, 2006
i'm sure you're thinking of someone whom you can be proud of, to be honest beauty is only skin deep really.

rather than breaking sum1's heart which you obviously don't want to do

keep in contact with all these ladies you have met (cos a great sense of humor will outlast beauty anytime) just keep the relationship casual and don't lead them on.

given some time you could find yourself actually seriously dating one of them

give it a chance , it cant hurt as long as your motives are clear
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by soccerchic(f): 10:55pm On Aug 16, 2006
@Wolf

The answer to ur question is No I can not date someone who is unattractive. I swear, I tried and tried but if am not attracted to them

(no matter how fun and nice they are) I just can't date them. I keep them as good friends nothing more.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by idiotsoul: 11:08pm On Aug 16, 2006
I did it last two weeks but there are too many complications so I quit
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by hotangel2(f): 11:24pm On Aug 16, 2006
Yeah.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by shadex1(m): 11:31pm On Aug 16, 2006
soccerchic:

@Wolf

The answer to your question is No I can not date someone who is unattractive. I swear, I tried and tried but if am not attracted to them

(no matter how fun and nice they are) I just can't date them. I keep them as good friends nothing more.

same here
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by pati(f): 1:24am On Aug 17, 2006
There should be at least one thing that attracts to any lady before anything and if not , don't even go there. I think brains and character should come before beauty because "not all that glitters is gold"
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by shadex1(m): 2:53am On Aug 17, 2006
hey gurl how would u know bout d brains n character if she is not attractive enough for you to step to her
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by iice(f): 10:17am On Aug 17, 2006
Donmayor, what would i do with Bill Gates? ROTFLMAO, as i said only smoking hotties grin grin and i like to follow my friend's opinions because uhmmm(breaks into ditzy blonde mode)I so like don't like know what i want, you know what i mean. Its like sooooo terribly hard to like pick a great guy, you know? Coz like my brain's like the size of a peanut and am like sooooooooo shallow and vain. Laughing my friggin butt off tongue tongue
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by ozobemem(m): 12:11pm On Aug 17, 2006
Put physical attraction aside, look for someone who can bring out the best in you, someone you that will hold you when u are fallen, someone that will not mind to walk in the darkness with you, that is all about love, and remember that Friendship is all about two people sharing one heart.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by Orikinla(m): 1:38pm On Aug 17, 2006
Let me analyze the rationale of your issue.

You want to date an attractive person. And most humans do.

The funny thing about the erroneous and ambiguous instincts of our nature is the fact that our sensitivity is very abstract. Because what we assume as being pretty, beautiful or sexy is based on preconceived notion of human knowledge from what we have been taught from ABC and 123.

Imagine if you were born and bred among lesser primates such as apes or monkeys. You will still consider some of them attractive and others unattractive. Because, they are the creatures of your natural habitat.

Where there is no preconceived knowledge of a defined identity for beauty, nobody will be able to differentiate the pretty from the ugly.

Now what most of us want in women whether they are pretty or ugly is sex. And is it not funny that their sex organ, the vagina is very ugly?

I mean let us have a picture of the vagina before our eyes and gaze at it.
You will all agree with me that the vagina is very ugly.

So, what are you looking for in a woman?
Physical attraction of her facial features and limbs or the aesthetics of her character and personality?

What is the big deal of her facial beauty and sexy body when the main object of your quest is her ugly vagina?

Don't see a woman as a sex object. Because when men talk about a pretty or beautiful babe or lady, they are making her a sex object.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by Seun(m): 2:54pm On Aug 17, 2006
when men talk about a pretty or beautiful babe or lady, they are making her a sex object.

That statement is 100% false. Beauty is something that goes beyond sexual attraction. Some cars are beautiful while others are ugly. Some computer desktops are beautiful while others are ugly. To humans.

Think about this: a girl might be called beautiful simply because she has a face that is pleasant to look at. What does the face have to do with sex? Almost nothing. It's not about sex, it's about aesthetics, proportion!

If you listen to players talking about girls, you'll here them say things like, "that girl looks so fine but she's a dissapointment in bed" or "you might think this mistress of mine is ugly, but compared to my wife she's a goddess in bed". Doesn't this show that, even in the mind of a male player, there's a big difference between beauty and sex?

The fact is that sex is part of a relationship, and so is beauty - though it's separate. If you're going to have sex with a lady, it's natural to want her to be good at it. If you're going to spend the rest of your life gazing at one woman's face every morning, you'll want that face to be a beautiful one. It's only natural.

You cannot separate the 'heart' of a person from superficial qualities such as beauty. A beautiful woman's beauty is part of her. A sexy woman's sex appeal is part of her. (A rich man's wealth is part of him too!)

So going back to the question, I can't seriously date someone I consider physically unattractive. But I think I can have such a person as a good friend. It's only natural; I'm being realistic here. wink
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by donmayor(m): 2:59pm On Aug 17, 2006
What hope does ugly girls have? Forget about guys o, they can date fine girls with money.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by PTBNaija(f): 3:07pm On Aug 17, 2006
I find it funny how you can often times see beautiful girls with less attractive guys and not hot guys with less attractive girls (well, in the USA at least).

But I don't see anything wrong with dating an unattractive guy, as long as there is a great personality there. And I'm saying unattractive as someone i just wouldn't normally think to look at twice for someone to date. But it's a completely different story if I find the person just so ugly I can't stand to look at their face, or just really bad hygiene or whatever. But I haven't seen anyone that I just can't stand to look at their face except for those plastic surgery people.

So yeah, I might date someone I consider unattractive. I mean seriously, haven't you all had those moments where you just really liked this one personality and when you think about them at home, they look really hot. But when you see them again in real life, you're like, hmmm, not as cute as I thought. But you still like them all the same. I mean, I know I've had those moments A LOT!
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by spikedcylinder: 4:31pm On Aug 17, 2006
For me there's a difference between someone being physically attractive and me being physically attracted to someone.I mean,a person might be physically attractive to everyone around me and i personally might find it very hard to see anything fine on the person.
For example,a lot of people rave and rant about how good looking Johnny Depp is,i try and try but i cannot see it!I dont think he's good looking at all.So my taste might differ when it comes to issues of attractiveness.
So to answer your question,i will NOT date someone i am not physically attracted to because otherwise,whats the use?
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by Steffi(f): 6:35pm On Aug 17, 2006
Is better to look for real love, than for a Beauty Queen. When i marry my husband, he was perfect. Last year he was having a very bad acidend with his car (thank God he`s alive) since than he is having marks in his head, but i love him with every part of my heart.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by Oracle(m): 6:54pm On Aug 17, 2006
Beauty they say is in the eyes of the beholder . No matter how ugly someone may look somebody somewhere will find such a person beautiful or even sexually atractive.
i guess you've not seen somebody that is beautyful in your own eyes.
I believe you will find if you seek, letz just hope you don't make a wrong decision coz relationships are not good to toil with.
Good luck
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by Radiant(f): 9:27pm On Aug 17, 2006
soccerchic:

@Wolf

The answer to your question is No I can not date someone who is unattractive. I swear, I tried and tried but if am not attracted to them

(no matter how fun and nice they are) I just can't date them. I keep them as good friends nothing more.

u are mean o grin grin grin
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by soccerchic(f): 10:35pm On Aug 17, 2006
Am not mean gal. Just keeping it real. I mean, physical attraction tells me whether am comfortable in the company of the other person or not. And if am

not comfortable then how can I date them, let alone touch em. shocked For me, the physical attraction is first, then the emotion attraction etc. That said, I am

also aware that u can have emotional attraction without the physical ( which I must admit is better) but in my case I have to be attracted to u big time.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by desiree(f): 10:35pm On Aug 17, 2006
Steffi:

Is better to look for real love, than for a Beauty Queen. When i marry my husband, he was perfect. Last year he was having a very bad acidend with his car (thank God he`s alive) since than he is having marks in his head, but i love him with every part of my heart.

Voice of reason!!! well stated.

This goes to show that we must always seek for something deeper than mere looks and look beyond the physical. If you are attracted to your partner solely on looks alone, what happens when she loses her good looks to something like an accident or an illness??

***desiree goes off to do some soul searching of her own***[color=#000099][/color]
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by katherinae(f): 11:43pm On Aug 17, 2006
hey

through out my life i have never appreciated good looks on a man. as weird as that sounds all the guys i have ever dated are very goodlooking. maybe because of exes i feel that way. emphasize on the word exes. its a shame guys dont come with every thing, if they attractive they bore the hell out of me, so i end up leaving. looks can only get u the girl or guy, but it wont make them stay. i am yet to meet one that keeps me interested for more than a week. the fact that u are able to connect with these girls on a spiritual level shows that u have some brains. most people would not even be friends wiht some other people because of how they looked. so do the right thing, and when all ur friends are lonely or pissed of because their so called goodlooking girlfriends dont give a shit about any of them, take their money and cheat on them, u will be glad u made the right choice. It is a blessing to meet some one who loves u for who u are and not how goodlooking u are, trust me those guys are hard to find.
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by omogenaija(f): 2:55am On Aug 18, 2006
u have to be attracted to someone to consider dating , being attracted to someone is beyond looks, there is more unexplainable stuff
Re: Can You Date Someone You Consider Unattractive? by kemulala(f): 6:59am On Aug 18, 2006
Indeed u are not an ugly guy, but I wonder what do u mean by "i want to date a lady that when ma peeps see her ,they will tell me i have good taste", as far as i know physical appearance is important but is more important what a woman concludes about herself, she doesn´t need to be a model to be attractive as long as she is decent and down to earth, and the most important thing as long as she knows how to carry herself, the she is a go for her type of girl.
Beauty was meant to be an asset. Besides guys that brag about their ladies is because to them the girl is the best thing that happend to them. Don´t miss ur blessing because u care about what people say , fall in love with a woman not for what she is right now but see who she is gonna be in the future, grin

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