I'm not sure where to post this. Mods help me out please

She's about to be married. The marriage requirements or 'lists' have been given to the husband to-be. Of course, he must have prepared for this. But the list is somewhat exorbitant and paying all these things will mean a less posh wedding........

My question: Should a woman who's financially stable assist her to-be with money for payment of the bride price or completion of the rites??

Is it advisable??

*Grabs a seat* .... Waiting to read comments from the married ones.

A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.

I think he should use what he has to pay the bride price and then she can cover the rest expenses.

Tactfully let him know that you think the demands are outrageous and you're interested in helping but only if he wants you to help. If he requests your help, help, and make sure that you never ever mention it during any future quarrel with him. This is extremely important.

Really, I don't know but I think it iisn't right

Yes, ofcourse. If the lady is from the tribe where the bride price is astronomical like the south east, it's advisable she helps with part payment if she could afford it.

No be she the man wan take the bride price marry?

mutter:
A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.

If that happens then there is a problem of immaturity with both of them already, because they should know that bride price is not actually being paid to buy the bride. That it's just a way for the wife's extended family to extract money from the unfortunate bridegroom's family.

mutter:
A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.

You have said it all! Even if the man is quick to forget, trust me, the lady won't.

Where there is understanding, it shouldn't be a big deal.
Even if the man can afford everything . If she can find a way to take on some of the list requirements,then no harm in it.

At least it sends across the message that the girl and her family aren't out to milk him but are doing it because they can't side step that's process of the traditional marriage.

Oga Seun don talk am all. I think the family should be reasonable enough to know what their son in law can afford before giving him an outrageous list.

it depends on the woman...afterall, why should her family demand for a far too costly marriage rites...?? abi na PDP the man be....??

the woman should find a way to sort her man out afterall she is financially stable and she knows her man cant meet up

but as for the brideprice, the man should pay that one without her help and in my opinion, even after the marriage, when he becomes more financially stable, he can pay her back all the money she helped him out with during the marriage rites.....to avoid some talks in the future

NO!

Brideprice of all things?

Habaaaaaaaaa. NO

Personally I can't allow a woman to help me pay her bride price. It takes a somewhat saint of a woman not to use it against you later.
If I can't afford it, then the marriage has to wait!

That will be Supernatural love from the woman and the man will be Supernatural MUMU. For christ sake we are still Africans

Why cant they wait till they are both ready to get married.Must they go ahead with the marriage when its clear that only the Lady is ready.My point is if the Man cant pay the bride price,that means he's not ready for marriage yet.

If I hear

God4bid

My Imo ladies will b lik "BIG NO!!!"

Seriously I don't pray 4 such 4 any man buh if there is Luv nd understanding, I see no gobe buh if I find miisef In such then its more respect 4 dat lady..

oya where all of una dey make una come comment ooo

angelTI:
NO!

Brideprice of all things?

Habaaaaaaaaa. NO

hey angel....its not the brideprice, the man can pay that bt we re talking about all those other marriage rites and the organization of the wedding as a whole which will definitely run into a million or more. Can u support ur man on that financially if u re "financially OK".....?

mind u, this is a very technical scenario as it could lead to the breakdown of the relationship if not properly handled or if there is a party that's unwilling to spend financially for the marriage, xpecially when the other party is nt financially buoyant!!

sure she can. but she must not tell people ooo


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He should be able to pay the bride price.I wouldn't like the idea of the lady giving him the money for that.
What she should do is help to purchase some of the other items on the list.

Capital letter NO

Just tell your father to reduce the list or become his second wife at age 40.

BreezyRita:
I'm not sure where to post this. Mods help me out please

She's about to be married. The marriage requirements or 'lists' have been given to the husband to-be. Of course, he must have prepared for this. But the list is somewhat exorbitant and paying all these things will mean a less posh wedding........

My question: Should a woman who's financially stable assist her to-be with money for payment of the bride price or completion of the rites??

Is it advisable??

Pls no matter how nice the Lady might be,pls dont let her pay her own bride price,Because bride price is symbolic.You can only tell her to talk with her people if they can reduce the bride price for you.I know your bride must be an ibo chick,We all know that Ibo parents demand a lot from their future inlaw,so just like I advised a friend of mine,Impregnate the girl as soon as possible and see if they wont reduce the bride price.infact they will even beg you to come and take her for free.Do this and you will thank me later.Dont waste time o.

when d list includes blackberry for father mother and siblings.. and they want blackberry passport.

personally .. i would love to foot my bills.

i would always have enough to pay d bride price.. maybe not from d east.. ill get it cheaper else where