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14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew - Romance - Nairaland

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14 Things You Would Hear When You Catch Her Cheating / 13 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew / Few Things We Wish Our Boyfriend Knew :P (2) (3) (4)

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14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by chidiezeh(m): 7:46am On Jan 15, 2015
1. That we hate to hold Your purses for You…Or walk around with Your handbags for You…It kills our masculinity. And emasculates our sense of power and macho. Kindly hold Your OWN purses. And carry Your OWN handbags. Its that simple,sweethearts.

2. That we hate to be slapped in public. In the middle of crowds that are actually watching us. No matter what we did or how we did it,No matter what we said or how we said it,kindly DO NOT slap us in public. Its so embarrassing and confusing. After that slap,we don’t know what to do…We don’t know whether to slap You back,or run away,or cry or die. Public slaps are absolutely offending.

3. That our balls hurt. Kindly QUIT kicking them. Please. You need something to kick?? Our neighbor has a cat. Go kick it. Please.

4. That our phones are our HOLY shrines. Our phones are our greatest sources of happiness and tranquility. And that some of us treasure our phones more than life…sometimes.We wish they would let us be with our phones. Wherever we want to. Whenever we need to. Don’t separate us from our mobile phones. Our lives are in THOSE phones.

5. That,no matter how much we love You,Our boys will always be a part of Us. ALWAYS! We Looooove Our boys. Love them to death. Our boys are our life. And we would be dead without our boys. If only You,oh girlfriends, understood how much our boys mean to us. And accepted them as they are. Stupid as they are. For the sake of us.

6. That we will NEVER really grow up. Never!! No matter how old we truly are,no matter how much beard we have,no matter how big our bodies are or how gruff our voices are,time after time,we will end up acting like little boys. And being childish is something we do…sometimes. Forgive Us. And love the child in us.

7. That,even though we love You to death,We will,time after time,find other women attractive. Very attractive. Probably more attractive than You. But we are NOT ready to break up with You for them. No. We still love You. Too much. But still,there will always be more attractive women out there. And we may end up admiring them…because we are Men. Let us admire. Please. It’s harmless

8. That we are NOT all bedroom bullies all the time. Sometimes we can be a bedroom mbúri. Sometimes we can be a bedroom ngui. Haha. Or bedroom nyau. Oh,I mean, sometimes we can pound that thing for 2 hours straight. And,well,sometimes we can’t even last for a short 10 minutes. It happens. We are using flesh and blood. Not Saudi Oil. Please bear with us. And hope for a better round two.

9. A Mouth Gig is NOT a City Council cleanup operation. Where You get to use all the force and might and raw,rough power in the World. A Mouth Gig is a soft affair. Slow,smooth affair. Which should be handled with grace and expertise. We really hate it when You descend down there and turn our poor D’s into a messy cat fight in the Serengeti. Biting and scratching and chewing things. No,Baby Girl. Its hurts.

10. That we hate it when You come over and,because You ended up spending the night,end up hogging 89% of the bed. Leaving us struggling to sleep on the remaining 11% little space. We hate it when You grab all the covers…And spread Yourself across the bed like a tadpole in a laboratory. Its our bed! For Christssake! Let’s share it 50/50. Please. We all love to sleep.

11. And talking of spreading, We Loooooove it when You spread it real good. Thus making easier for us to access the cookie. But we hate it when You do NOTHING beyond lying there like a shot French cartoonist. For Love’s sake,do something! Move,say a word, twitch, twist,coil,do something! Don’t just lie there! Like a cornered terrorist. Be active. Tafathali.

12. We have a very short attention span. Very very short. Kindly shorten Your stories. Make them at least 6 minutes long maximum. Or 4. Any story You give us becomes boring by the 7th minute. In fact,by the 7th minute,we are NOT listening anymore. Just shut up already. Please. We can pick up from where You left tomorrow.

13. That we are NOT mind-readers. We do NOT posses the supernatural ability to read minds,bend time,access hidden thoughts and perform spiritual discernment. If something is bothering You,tell Us. If we did something wrong,tell Us. If we’ve made a mistake,tell us. Just SPEAK UP! Please! Going silent for 72 hours straight will not solve a thing! We are not telepathic,paranormal creatures! Just talk!

14. That when a Man says HE “LOVES YOU”,He does. “I Love You” are the 3 hardest words that a man can ever say. Ever! And if a man ever says those 3 words to You,believe him. He is serious. Do not doubt it. Never doubt it. Those words are very very powerful. Coming from a man. Better believe him
http://cabugah.com

230 Likes 40 Shares

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Nobody: 8:04am On Jan 15, 2015
me likey grin

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by ShakurM(m): 8:12am On Jan 15, 2015
We 8 excess makeup ehn undecided

Ur time of month is not an excuse 4 u to be sooooo mean!

You are probably not as funny as you think..

We love video games

I never kpanshed that girl

Anytime u cook for us,we are happy

We are not ur dad n u are not our mother

Everything in moderation, don't flirt nor compare us to our guy friends

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Ezehim(m): 8:19am On Jan 15, 2015
Nobi lie

6 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Baddestguyp(m): 8:20am On Jan 15, 2015
I agree with all except number 14. I love you isn't hard for us to say. in fact over 70% of the time we don't mean it

73 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by major466(m): 8:25am On Jan 15, 2015
Number 3 calls for serious concern. Some ladies derive joy in kicking guys on their balls. grin

6 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by mirexxx(f): 8:30am On Jan 15, 2015
wow...i love dis kiss

4 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by JayKayMaybachz(m): 8:36am On Jan 15, 2015
OP YOU WELL GAAAN!!

EVEN UNA LIKE WRITE FOR BILLBOARD, ADVERTISE FOR ALL DSTV, STAR TIMES & MYTV CHANNELS...

GALZ WILL ALWAYS BE GALZ


SAME WITH GHUYZ



SO WHAT WE ALL NEED AND PRAY FOR IS A COMPATIBLE & UNDERSTANDING PARTNER

SHIKENA

WITHOUT THOSE.... ERMMMMMMM NO NEED PREACHN


I KNOW WE'VE PREACHED ENOUGH BUH I'M PRETTY SURE IT AIN'T SINKIN INTO THEIR THIN SKULL

12 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Nobody: 9:53am On Jan 15, 2015
Wow
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by jrerico1(m): 10:30am On Jan 15, 2015
Wow nice write up, can't imagine a girl slap me in public, for what? Did I spank her a*s? I promise to return the favour immediately. kicking of balls, some girls are wicked sha because that's their best way to attack but the case might be different when you miskick. As for carry handbag and purse, I reject it.. angry

13 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by HizMissy(f): 10:41am On Jan 15, 2015
op, i love you!

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by 2SWT(f): 11:11am On Jan 15, 2015
Nice.

But....

1 Like

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by 2SWT(f): 11:12am On Jan 15, 2015
HizMissy:
op, i love you!
Take it easy young lady





can't you tell him in private ??

3 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Chizzy20(f): 11:24am On Jan 15, 2015
i think its cute if a guy carries his gf purse once in a while, bt d lady shouldnt take advantage of it.

6 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by jworos(m): 11:27am On Jan 15, 2015
12 n 13 tho...
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Yungknyyght(m): 11:33am On Jan 15, 2015
True
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Nobody: 11:57am On Jan 15, 2015
That number one nearly happened to me angry , imagine her tellin me to hold her bag 4 a while, WTF shocked the size of d bag sef ehnnn undecided

7 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by chidiezeh(m): 12:00pm On Jan 15, 2015
zleemshaddy:
That number one nearly happened to me angry , imagine her tellin me to hold her bag 4 a while, WTF shocked the size of d bag sef ehnnn undecided
fit carry human being abi

6 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by chidiezeh(m): 12:04pm On Jan 15, 2015
HizMissy:
op, i love you!
are you serious grin grin
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Nobody: 12:10pm On Jan 15, 2015
chidiezeh:
fit carry human being abi
yes oo grin grin

1 Like

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by OohMpa: 12:11pm On Jan 15, 2015
chidiezeh:
14. That when a Man says HE “LOVES YOU”,He does. “I Love You” are the 3 hardest words that a man can ever say. Ever! And if a man ever says those 3 words to You,believe him. He is serious. Do not doubt it. Never doubt it. Those words are very very powerful. Coming from a man. Better believe him


Dechandel....Ooh Mpa loves you
Marieolae.....Ooh Mpa roves you
Chimkaire.....Ooh Mpa roves you
Zeemor....Ooh Mpa roves you
Xsenga.....Ooh Mpa roves you
Vivly.....Ooh Mpa roves you smiley smiley

And to ooh Mpa's 6gfs he sent Rove message last night, 3 fliends with benefits, friendzoners, maganizers, boöty calls, Tika Sumpter, Meagan Good, Megan Fox and the numerous exes...... Ooh Mpa still roves all of you cry

So hard to say embarassed
*cries, blows nose and exits thread*




angry angry angry angry angry

21 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by LoveMEBaby(m): 12:18pm On Jan 15, 2015
chidiezeh:
1. That we hate to hold Your purses for You…Or walk around with Your handbags for You…It kills our masculinity. And emasculates our sense of power and macho. Kindly hold Your OWN purses. And carry Your OWN handbags. Its that simple,sweethearts.

2. That we hate to be slapped in public. In the middle of crowds that are actually watching us. No matter what we did or how we did it,No matter what we said or how we said it,kindly DO NOT slap us in public. Its so embarrassing and confusing. After that slap,we don’t know what to do…We don’t know whether to slap You back,or run away,or cry or die. Public slaps are absolutely offending.

3. That our balls hurt. Kindly QUIT kicking them. Please. You need something to kick?? Our neighbor has a cat. Go kick it. Please.

4. That our phones are our HOLY shrines. Our phones are our greatest sources of happiness and tranquility. And that some of us treasure our phones more than life…sometimes.We wish they would let us be with our phones. Wherever we want to. Whenever we need to. Don’t separate us from our mobile phones. Our lives are in THOSE phones.

5. That,no matter how much we love You,Our boys will always be a part of Us. ALWAYS! We Looooove Our boys. Love them to death. Our boys are our life. And we would be dead without our boys. If only You,oh girlfriends, understood how much our boys mean to us. And accepted them as they are. Stupid as they are. For the sake of us.

6. That we will NEVER really grow up. Never!! No matter how old we truly are,no matter how much beard we have,no matter how big our bodies are or how gruff our voices are,time after time,we will end up acting like little boys. And being childish is something we do…sometimes. Forgive Us. And love the child in us.

7. That,even though we love You to death,We will,time after time,find other women attractive. Very attractive. Probably more attractive than You. But we are NOT ready to break up with You for them. No. We still love You. Too much. But still,there will always be more attractive women out there. And we may end up admiring them…because we are Men. Let us admire. Please. It’s harmless

8. That we are NOT all bedroom bullies all the time. Sometimes we can be a bedroom mbúri. Sometimes we can be a bedroom ngui. Haha. Or bedroom nyau. Oh,I mean, sometimes we can pound that thing for 2 hours straight. And,well,sometimes we can’t even last for a short 10 minutes. It happens. We are using flesh and blood. Not Saudi Oil. Please bear with us. And hope for a better round two.

9. A Mouth Gig is NOT a City Council cleanup operation. Where You get to use all the force and might and raw,rough power in the World. A Mouth Gig is a soft affair. Slow,smooth affair. Which should be handled with grace and expertise. We really hate it when You descend down there and turn our poor D’s into a messy cat fight in the Serengeti. Biting and scratching and chewing things. No,Baby Girl. Its hurts.

10. That we hate it when You come over and,because You ended up spending the night,end up hogging 89% of the bed. Leaving us struggling to sleep on the remaining 11% little space. We hate it when You grab all the covers…And spread Yourself across the bed like a tadpole in a laboratory. Its our bed! For Christssake! Let’s share it 50/50. Please. We all love to sleep.

11. And talking of spreading, We Loooooove it when You spread it real good. Thus making easier for us to access the cookie. But we hate it when You do NOTHING beyond lying there like a shot French cartoonist. For Love’s sake,do something! Move,say a word, twitch, twist,coil,do something! Don’t just lie there! Like a cornered terrorist. Be active. Tafathali.

12. We have a very short attention span. Very very short. Kindly shorten Your stories. Make them at least 6 minutes long maximum. Or 4. Any story You give us becomes boring by the 7th minute. In fact,by the 7th minute,we are NOT listening anymore. Just shut up already. Please. We can pick up from where You left tomorrow.

13. That we are NOT mind-readers. We do NOT posses the supernatural ability to read minds,bend time,access hidden thoughts and perform spiritual discernment. If something is bothering You,tell Us. If we did something wrong,tell Us. If we’ve made a mistake,tell us. Just SPEAK UP! Please! Going silent for 72 hours straight will not solve a thing! We are not telepathic,paranormal creatures! Just talk!

14. That when a Man says HE “LOVES YOU”,He does. “I Love You” are the 3 hardest words that a man can ever say. Ever! And if a man ever says those 3 words to You,believe him. He is serious. Do not doubt it. Never doubt it. Those words are very very powerful. Coming from a man. Better believe him
What's MOUTH GIG?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by LoveMEBaby(m): 12:20pm On Jan 15, 2015
chidiezeh:
are you serious grin grin
SHE DEY JOKE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by chidiezeh(m): 12:23pm On Jan 15, 2015
I know now say she day joke cool cool
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Kenneth205(m): 2:24pm On Jan 15, 2015
Booked
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by pekeyim: 2:24pm On Jan 15, 2015
Well, no. 2 no make sense


Nice write up though
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by Profitng: 2:24pm On Jan 15, 2015
ok
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by okon11: 2:24pm On Jan 15, 2015
That no.2 if any girl try am the relationship don end be that and I must revenge immediately





10 Ways You Are Cheating On Your Spouse Unintentionally
Source: http://e reporter.com.ng/index.php/more-news/life-style-news/item/2171-10-ways-you-are-cheating-on-your-spouse-unintentionally
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by mors(m): 2:25pm On Jan 15, 2015
grin

3 Likes

Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by listenersky: 2:25pm On Jan 15, 2015
.
Re: 14 Things We Wish Our Girlfriends Knew by stanisbaratheon: 2:25pm On Jan 15, 2015
the wise ones know.

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