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Flow And Snow - Literature - Nairaland

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Melting Snow. / Out In The Snow. / The Sun In The Snow (2) (3) (4)

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Flow And Snow by flow1759: 1:12pm On Jan 15, 2015
Yes!!!!!!! Am back!!!!!!!! don't ask me where i have been, i have been around the world.


Happy new year all.


This is another story from the award winning flow1759 (for my mind)


It's still pidgin English and English language combination, and yes it is still the usually funny me. And of course it's true life to the bone (say 75% true)

Very very fun packed, i promise............... or so i thought.


Still i Flow

4 Likes

Re: Flow And Snow by flow1759: 1:39pm On Jan 15, 2015
Dear Readers,
How una dey? it's me again, the writer of the block busters: "Barrack boy', "Ibo boy wey like Yoruba", and "Man wey dey reason". Am here with yet another block buster titled "Flow and Snow. I pledge to do my best in updating as often as posibble. i welcome both constructive and destructive criticism (ishilove i miss you). i will do my best like i said, with an aim of making this story the best story in Literature section this year 2015. So help me God.
Yours Ever Fowing,
Flow1759.
PS: Any name of persons or places mentioned in this story is not a fiction of the writer's imagination, it is real. So bear with me as i will do my best to make a little alteration in names of persons and places for reasons best known to me. So help me God.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Flow And Snow by kingphilip(m): 1:40pm On Jan 15, 2015
Wow flow1759 is back

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Flow And Snow by flow1759: 5:07pm On Jan 15, 2015
"SIr, i delivered 28 parcels in Sululere Axis" I pronounced Surulere like a typical Igbo man.

"where and where did you go to in Surulere" Mr Wole my Boss inquired.

"i went to Surulere Sir" I barely heard his question.

"so u walked the whole of Surulere? ehmmmmmnnn? Mr Johnny Walker!"

Johnny Walker walked for sure, but Flow covered more distance. in my line of Job, i sometimes wished i could fly.

"i said where did you go to in Surulere" He thundered.

" I said i went to Surulere sir" I answered

"He said where in Surulere did you go to?" The female voice of Kel brought me back to my right senses. My head at that moment was blocked, like i was carrying a fifteen storey building on it. My big head was growing bigger, i was seeing beautiful stars, big beautiful stars!

"Sorry ooooh!!! i went to. Lawanson, Randle, Ojuelegba, Ayilara, Shitta and Masha" i chorused.

Mr Wole pressed the calculator for what lasted like ages.

"my money is 2,800 naira sir" i almost yelled, but i dare not.

"oga the money wey una dey give us too small oh" i almost complained, but again, i dare not say that to the dreaded Mr Wole.

We were being paid 100 naira per parcel delivered. When parcel is mentioned, i don't mean a "coco" parcel, as i could remember a rather lunatic man accusing me of delivering C'ocaine to people's houses. On that fateful, or rather unfateful day, i knocked on a gate and this sk'unk smelling mouth guy came from nowhere and, his words: "them swear for your Papa, why you dey disturb my peace".

"you be like person wey get peace?? No be only Peace, na Patience" I replied almost immediately.

"ehnnnnnnn! na me you dey talk to, them swear for you!" I wondered why people from the Yoruba tribe loved using the word "swear"

"no!! them no swear for me, na your Papa them swear for" I was rather hash.

"ehnnnnn!!! you get mouth curse my papa abi? u don die today" He suddenly started rehearsing a punch that befitted me.

I took of my work bag and started drifting towards him. But the moment i saw him pulling out something from his pocket, i saw myself taking one step forward and two steps backwards.

"wetin you dey comot for your pocket? na knife?" I saw myself increasing the steps backwards to three.

"if them born your papa well come near me, i go chuk you" He threatened as he brought out the dagger in his pocket.

"i go chuk you Chukudi" I wondered how he knew my name was Chukwudi, My Grandmum must have told him that, she love calling me that.

"i go chuk you Omo Ibo" He came closer.

Before i could say "Boko haram", He had sliced my wrist, yes! he had sliced my wrist like Boko haram do.

"see blood oh" I cried.

As blood gushed out of my wrist, so was urine gushing out of my P'.enis, and sweat out of my whole body. He was advancing towards me, and at that juncture my hands failed me to a punch, likewise my legs to a kick.

"na you dey sell illegal coco abi" He was now at close range.

"i no dey sell Coconut oh" I thought he said Coconut.

"you don buy market today" The dagger was close to my throat.

Closer and closer it came to my throat, and backwards and backwards i moved and cried, "i no go market oh". it was like i was under a spell, or like my brain left me and flew away.

I remembered i was a martial artist, and strength came from nowhere. I sent a jab to his jaw and he staggered backwards.

"first attack!!" i cheered myself.

Then.................................





Like bee to nectar i saw Four hefty guys advancing. "u don die today!" one of them thundered. More strength came from the cardinal points of where i stood and i started swaying from left to right with my guard on like i was the son of Mike Tyson. i jabbed the guy with the dagger again, this time to his abdomen, the dagger flew off his hands and i almost shouted "Halleluiah".


Before i could say "Damaturu", something landed on my head from the west. It was a plank, i was sure.

Before i could say "Taraba", something landed on my heed from the east. It was an iron r'od, i was sure.

Before i could say "Poshiskum" something landed on my head from the South. It was a Plank again. i wished the next wouldn't be an iron r'od to the North to complete the circle.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Flow And Snow by Nobody: 5:16pm On Jan 15, 2015
flow1759:
"SIr, i delivered 28 parcels in Sululere Axis" I pronounced Surulere like a typical Igbo man.

"where and where did you go to in Surulere" Mr Wole my Boss inquired.

"i went to Surulere Sir" I barely heard his question.

"so u walked the whole of Surulere? ehmmmmmnnn? Mr Johnny Walker!"

Johnny Walker walked for sure, but Flow covered more distance. in my line of Job, i sometimes wished i could fly.

"i said where did you go to in Surulere" He thundered.

" I said i went to Surulere sir" I answered

"He said where in Surulere did you go to?" The female voice of Kel brought me back to my right senses. My head at that moment was blocked, like i was carrying a fifteen storey building on my head. My big head was growing bigger, i was seeing beautiful stars, big beautiful stars!

"Sorry ooooh!!! i went to:Lawanson, Randle, Ojuelegba, Ayilara, Shitta and Masha" i chorused.

Mr Wole pressed the calculator for what lasted like ages.

"my money is 2,800 naira sir" i almost yelled, but i dare not.

"oga the money wey una dey give us too small oh" i almost complained, but again, i dare not say that to the dreaded Mr Wole.

We were being paid 100 naira per parcel delivered. When parcel is mentioned, i don't mean a "coco" parcel, as i could remember i rather lunatic man accusing me of delivering C'ocaine to peoples houses. on that fateful, or rather unfateful day, i knocked on a gate a this s'unk smelling mouth guy came from nowhere and, his words: "them swear for your Papa, why you dey disturb my peace".

"you be like person wey get peace?? No be only Peace, na Patience" I replied almost immediately.

"ehnnnnnnn! na me you dey talk to, them swear you!" I wondered people from the Yoruba tribe loved using the word "swear"

"no!! them no swear for me, na your Papa them swear for" I was rather has.

"ehnnnnn!!! you get mouth curse my papa abi? u don die today" He suddenly started rehearsing a punch that befitted me.

I took of my work bag and started drifting towards him. But the moment i saw him pulling out something from his pocket, i saw myself taking one step forward and two steps backwards.

"wetin you dey comot for your pocket? na knife?" I saw myself taking increasing the steps backwards to three.

"if them born your papa well come near me, i go chuk you" He threatened as he brought out the dagger in his pocket.

"i go chuk you Chukudi" I wondered how he knew my name was Chukwudi, My Grandmum must have told him that, she love calling me that.

"i go chuk you Omo Ibo" He came closer.

Before i could say "Boko haram", He had sliced my wrist, yes! he had sliced my wrist like Boko haram do.

"see blood oh" I cried.

As blood gushed out of my wrist, so was urine gushing out of my P'.enis, and sweat out of my whole body. He was advancing towards me, annd at that juncture my hands failed me to a punch, likewise my legs to a kick.

"na you dey sell illegal coco abi" He was now at close range.

"i no dey sell Coconut oh" I thought he said Coconut.

"you dey buy market today" The dagger as close to my throat.

Closer and closer it came to my throat, and backwards and backwards and moved and cried, "i no go market oh". it was like i was under a spell, or like my brain left me and flew away.

I remembered i was a martial artist, and strength came from no where. i sent a jab to his jaw and he staggered backwards.

"first attack!!" i cheered myself.

Then.................................





Like bee to nectar i saw Four hefty guys advancing. "u don die today!" one of them thundered. more strength came from the cardinal points of where i stood and i started swaying from left to right with my guard on like i was the son of Mike Tyson. i jabbed the guy with the dagger again, this time to his abdomen, the dagger flew off his hands and i almost shouted "Halleluiah".


Before i could say "Damaturu", something landed on my head from the west. It was a plank, i was sure.

Before i could say "Taraba", something landed on my heed from the east. It was an iron r'od, i was sure.

Before i could say "Poshikum" something landed on my head from the South. It was a Plank again. i wished the next wouldn't be an iron r'od to the North.




HAHAHAHA...flowey...welcome...still u flow..
Re: Flow And Snow by Nobody: 5:22pm On Jan 15, 2015
Timzy234:





HAHAHAHA...flowey...welcome...still u flow..
ahhh ahh? Why na?^
Re: Flow And Snow by Nobody: 5:28pm On Jan 15, 2015
Bluestarry:
ahhh ahh? Why na?^

It's funny...
Re: Flow And Snow by flow1759: 6:09pm On Jan 15, 2015
Timzy234:





HAHAHAHA...flowey...welcome...still u flow..


Dont quote me that way pls, i need to correct some mistakes na........ i beg you
Re: Flow And Snow by orimsamsam(m): 7:03pm On Jan 15, 2015
Flow baba. Me don miss u
Re: Flow And Snow by kingphilip(m): 7:33pm On Jan 15, 2015
flow great one.. you've not lost that magical touch of laughter in all ur piece

carry on boss
Re: Flow And Snow by geogino(m): 7:50pm On Jan 15, 2015
Flowey..... Still u flow.

1 Like

Re: Flow And Snow by Mutaino7(m): 8:12pm On Jan 15, 2015
thank God say i never late.
Re: Flow And Snow by kenchukscole(m): 8:33pm On Jan 15, 2015
following with a bottle of origin n popcorn....





still I read..........
Re: Flow And Snow by Livingwalker(m): 8:55pm On Jan 15, 2015
Flow udeme is back!!!! men....I missed you sha....
I don't want to know were you have been but its great having you back.
*following this story till the end*
Re: Flow And Snow by flow1759: 8:55pm On Jan 15, 2015
kenchukscole:
following with a bottle of origin n popcorn....





still I read..........

Oboy I don like that drink oh





but I no fit like am pass 1759
Re: Flow And Snow by flow1759: 9:00pm On Jan 15, 2015
geogino:
Flowey..... Still u flow.


thanks all of you. but pls I want you guys to bear with me, I made alot of mistakes in my first update( which I have corrected, I will improve.


una suppose understand na. e don tey wey I write.


But still I Flow
Re: Flow And Snow by Nobody: 9:02pm On Jan 15, 2015
flow1759:



Dont quote me that way pls, i need to correct some mistakes na........ i beg you

Okay baba...but accept my warm welcome back...
Re: Flow And Snow by DEllaluv(f): 9:06pm On Jan 15, 2015
smiley coool...gud to hv u bak oga flow


I sight u,Kingphilip
Re: Flow And Snow by Emperortj93(m): 9:13pm On Jan 15, 2015
front page equivalent to front seat
emperortj93 ever present on all flow's thread
Re: Flow And Snow by Ramwab94(m): 10:37pm On Jan 15, 2015
flow1759:
"It was a Plank again. i wished the next wouldn't be an iron r'od to the North to complete the circle." Or so I tot.
Re: Flow And Snow by kingphilip(m): 11:21pm On Jan 15, 2015
DEllaluv:
smiley coool...gud to hv u bak oga flow


I sight u,King philip
is this u or ur ghost Ella?
I've really missed u sweetie
Re: Flow And Snow by plainmirror(m): 12:26am On Jan 16, 2015
Flowey my oga..... Happy new year
Re: Flow And Snow by opeoluwa2(f): 8:32am On Jan 16, 2015
Flow flow good to ve you back.
Happy new year

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