ToroJah:
Greetings to y'all family section members and a special thanks to all my followers cos I know you did follow me so you'll be updated with my sad story. Now here it is.

I'm from a broken home, my dad left us when I was a yr old. From what I gathered things got tough and he couldn't man up to face the hard times so he abandoned us to God knows where due to pride cos have found out he's a very proud man.

My mum that he forced to become a full time housewife decided to pick take up teaching job to cater to our needs, my mum was very mean during our growing up days(don't know if it was due to anger from my dad abandoning us for her), now my dad is back claiming he's sorry for leaving us but from the look of things he's in dire need of help (him and his other family are living in poverty) so I personally I'm paying deaf ear to his cries.

Now my predicament is this. Since after graduation have had two serious affairs that should have led to marriage I was even engaged in one but the men I meet and mostly their families often frown at a girl from a separated home irrespective of her good character reason being that she'll always toe the path of her parent and this has made me hate the family I was born into, sometimes I feel like taking my own life.

So dear Family have made up my mind to deny my dad cos he's the one that put me in this mess I will tell the next man in my life that he's dead cos to me he's good as dead, his presence in my life is causing me tears daily.

To y'all please all I need is an advice!!! To those that do jump on post before putting your leg in one's shoe feel free to bash me.

Lastly, advice to those searching, study your partner before saying "I do" don't depend on arranged marriage cos my parent own was a product of such that's why it was difficult for them to accommodate and understand each others flaws thereby leading to my dad abandoning us.

Love is not always enough so marry your friend so you too can still be together even when hard times set in.

Thanks in anticipation for reading!

tundeayo2020:
ok followeeeennnnnnn

Modesayo:
Is it when he dies before u know his value as your father...fine,he wasn't there for u initially but he has realised his mistakes..Forgive him,embrace him cos no matter what he is still your father..God guide you in your decisions.

Truckpusher:
It doesn't take rocket science for folks to figure out that kids from broken homes sometimes do better in marriages as they have seen it all due to their own history , what they've lost due to their parents immaturity and they are not ready to put their own kids through all that emotional nightmare if they have any milk of human kindness - I would have supported that folks from broken homes should marry themselves only if that would serve as a lesson to those that advocates for divorce for every little provocation as if it is a means to an end.

The scar of divorce is not always peculiar to those that are directly affected but the society itself yet here on NL we have too many people on this thread that supports and encourages divorce giving advice to the same op who is becoming a victim of the system they have always supported.
What an irony.

You know, sometimes you sound so sweet, responsible, caring and humane - I would just smile and say that's my truckpusher.

But sometimes....hmmm

Nice post.

ToroJah:


Now my predicament is this. Since after graduation have had two serious affairs that should have led to marriage I was even engaged in one but the men I meet and mostly their families often frown at a girl from a separated home irrespective of her good character reason being that she'll always toe the path of her parent and this has made me hate the family I was born into, sometimes I feel like taking my own life.

elantraceey:
My dear there's nothing like forgiveness , unforgiveness is the greatest bondage you can put yourself into , the past is past but don't let it ruin your future, your dad made a lot of mistakes but since he could put aside his pride and ask for forgiveness please forgive him without him you won't be here in the first place . Imagine you tell your spouse your dad is dead and he shows up in your wedding with your birth certificate what do you think will happen? It's better not to been in any relationship at all than to be in one which foundation is lies .



Settle with your father first and the next man that will engage you might just be your husband.

Sweetlemon:
Your exes didn't love you. They were only looking for a wife.
Wait till you find a man that loves you. A man loving you has nothing to do with your background.

ToroJah:
Thanks emensely to y'all that pay attention to my plea I'm much grateful, the scar my dad left on my family is so deep but I'll find a place in my heart to forgive him but then the question is 'can I forget'?

Truckpusher:
It doesn't take rocket science for folks to figure out that kids from broken homes sometimes do better in marriages as they have seen it all due to their own history , what they've lost due to their parents immaturity and they are not ready to put their own kids through all that emotional nightmare if they have any milk of human kindness - I would have supported that folks from broken homes should marry themselves only if that would serve as a lesson to those that advocates for divorce for every little provocation as if it is a means to an end.

The scar of divorce is not always peculiar to those that are directly affected but the society itself yet here on NL we have too many people on this thread that supports and encourages divorce giving advice to the same op who is becoming a victim of the system they have always supported.
What an irony.

ToroJah:
Thanks emensely to y'all that pay attention to my plea I'm much grateful, the scar my dad left on my family is so deep but I'll find a place in my heart to forgive him but then the question is 'can I forget'?

Kachisbarbie:


You know, sometimes you sound so sweet, responsible, caring and humane - I would just smile and say that's my truckpusher.

But sometimes....hmmm

Nice post.

kmcutez:


May they continue dumping you until you take your useless life. Good riddance.

ToroJah:


Dear I'm not desperate I'm only pained that I was met with such treatment all the same thanks for your kind advice

Truckpusher:
Stop deceiving the op.
No young man in his right senses and properly taken care of by his parents with no adverse history would take a wife home without the blessings of his parents.

You had a good relationship with your parents and you suddenly saw this girl but they are against it and you think you can just go out all the way to do your own thing? Then you have no idea the kind of emotional dependency that exists between families that are bonded by love and loyalty.

Your love for your parents and your loyalty to them do not just die overnight as a lot are usually involved and that can't just be waved aside for a girl you prolly met some few years ago.This is why every reasonable guy that is going outside his parents approval would have done his homework by marketing the girl's image before you let the cart out of the bag.

If you're mother or father doesn't like the girl you're dating/bringing home , you're in deep shiit my sister and you've got only few choices either make them change their mind by convincing them or always come home with the right choice.Simple

If you marry without your parents approval at a point you'll hate yourself - How could one with conscience constantly live his/her life aware that his/her kids are just being tolerated and not loved unconditionally?

ToroJah:
Greetings to y'all family section members and a special thanks to all my followers cos I know you did follow me so you'll be updated with my sad story. Now here it is.

I'm from a broken home, my dad left us when I was a yr old. From what I gathered things got tough and he couldn't man up to face the hard times so he abandoned us to God knows where due to pride cos have found out he's a very proud man.

My mum that he forced to become a full time housewife decided to pick take up teaching job to cater to our needs, my mum was very mean during our growing up days(don't know if it was due to anger from my dad abandoning us for her), now my dad is back claiming he's sorry for leaving us but from the look of things he's in dire need of help (him and his other family are living in poverty) so I personally I'm paying deaf ear to his cries.

Now my predicament is this. Since after graduation have had two serious affairs that should have led to marriage I was even engaged in one but the men I meet and mostly their families often frown at a girl from a separated home irrespective of her good character reason being that she'll always toe the path of her parent and this has made me hate the family I was born into, sometimes I feel like taking my own life.

So dear Family have made up my mind to deny my dad cos he's the one that put me in this mess I will tell the next man in my life that he's dead cos to me he's good as dead, his presence in my life is causing me tears daily.

To y'all please all I need is an advice!!! To those that do jump on post before putting your leg in one's shoe feel free to bash me.

Lastly, advice to those searching, study your partner before saying "I do" don't depend on arranged marriage cos my parent own was a product of such that's why it was difficult for them to accommodate and understand each others flaws thereby leading to my dad abandoning us.

Love is not always enough so marry your friend so you too can still be together even when hard times set in.

Thanks in anticipation for reading!