Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! - Romance - Nairaland
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| Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 5:56pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Just like the title says. I have noticed, when guys talk about some exs, they will kinda hint that the girls is an addict or crazy, but then after looking into it, I just realised that these guys can bring a lot of it on themselves, oh do they know how much torment not having closure brings on someone. Not knowing why your once beloved girlfriend or boyfriend refuses your calls, why they won't explain or even see you, why they just disappeared can leave you very confused. The women aren't crazy because they call you all the time, they are probably really desperate to find out the truth, which guys often don't say (though I've noticed that Nigerian guys, tend to just let it out which can be good at times). This feeling is like being stood infront of a brick wall, the truth is on the other side and the ex is the wall who refuses to budge, to even hint what went wrong, so you're left guessing, you can't see the truth and the ex is barely interacting with you too. WE NEED CLOSURE, EVERYBODY DOES > now that can drive a woman crazy. All the questions roaming through our heads, of 'why did he leave?', 'why didn't he even tell me what I did?', then you start thinking 'Am I that disgusting that he won't pick up my call?', 'was I that bad a girlfriend that he avoids me?' and worstly 'I don't want to seem psycho or like a stalker, I'm sure one simple phone call to him will sort everything out.', when these get unbearable, you try and call, and he doesn't pick up because little did you know he's so over you and he doesn't have the time, even just a little time to let you get over him. MAYBE you guys actually don't want us to ger over you. Maybe that is why the mess made is left there. Surely if you want us to move on, you will meet up with us, tell us the deal and move on. GUYS please understand the power of closure, and so what if you hurt our feelings, at least now we can move on and so can you, and you won't need to explain to your new girlfriend that your ex stalks you and such. Ok, ok, I think the stalking is a bit much, but it is just some women are so desperate to find the answers that they will go to some extents, think of it from your point of view. Your girlfriend of 7 months, just tells you one day that it's all over. Ok, so in the past 2 months she's been slowly distancing herself from you, less phone calls, visits and barely any enthusiasm, so of course, she's prepared herself for the breakup, but you are completely unaware, you think everything is fabulous, you're even thinking about what to get her for her birthday. The birthday comes, and she's all fantastic, you think you two are a match made in heaven, then a week later, she breaks up with you, and of course you're stunned so you don't ask all the questions you want to ask and the questions just float around in your head, you sulk for ages and then after the intial stage of upset, you now want answers, but guess what, she's moved on, she's now got a new guy, your number's been deleted off her phone, and you're calling to ask her why she left you, because you deserve to know, and she just speaks to you like your wasting her time, she is uneasy to talk to you or acknowledge the good 5 months you spent as a close knit couple, and it hurts, in order to move on, you need to know where you went wrong, so it's not too personal, after all it could easily be her cheating ways or wandering eyes. Just knowing this would save so much soul-searching, further heartbreak and just confusion. Now do you understand the power of closure?? If you don't I will gladly go on and on and on. . This is just my plea, so you guys give us a break, stop dragging things along, we know you hate confrontation and hurting our feelings, but being left to our own thoughts could actually really affect us, and is far worse for our psyche than being told the truth. CLOSURE is KEY! Peace  |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by SisiJinx: 6:11pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Guys think that they are God’s gift to women. If you are with them, then you are sane because you recognize what the Lord has "ordained" for you.  If you are not with them, it means you must be mentally unstable. . . How else do you explain turning you back on God’ gift??  And you try telling them you are just fine without this so called God’s gift and it's  for ya! |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by bluespice(f): 6:12pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
its simple most of them are self obsessed things |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by JJYOU: 6:15pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
2 of my favourite people @ work. why do i love you girls with minds like this? love they say is blind. you will get wiser as you see more years. experience is a very bad teacher |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 6:15pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Hehe @ Sisi Jinx. Was just wondering why there are so many crazy women out there. I believe they refuse to accept responsibility. If I had an ex that kept begging to speak to him but instead of having that conversation and getting it over and done with, I ignored him instead, then of course I would expect him to be angry, confused, a little bit insecure at why I refuse to let him get some answers and such. I wouldn't go around telling everybody that I have some crazy stalker, who won't leave me alone, I'd know why he would'nt leave me alone! It'd be my fault! Sorry about the long write up above, the words just flow, I try and make precise points, I think I just have too much to say!  |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 6:16pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
JJYOU: Agreed! |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by SisiJinx: 6:17pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
bluespice: Tee hee hee [size=3pt]Watch one of 'em come and tell us 1) We are bitter 2) We need a good  3) Leave Naija men alone and go find foreign men 4) We need and attitude chance, 5) We're heartbroken 6) We have no hope[/size] |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 6:20pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Also HUGE POINT HERE! Guys often distance themselves, as they get to the point they feel they wanna break off the relationship, this isn't easy to pick up on, it just involves them, doing well. . nothing! So they are preparing themselves emotionally for the part where they say goodbye, to them it is the natural next step. 1. A lovey dovey, relationship is going great. 2. Distancing and withdrawing from you gently (like weaning a baby off milk) 3. Break up which flows quite naturally after the withdrawing. The girlfriend on the other hand has NO clue what just went on. 1. A lovey dovey, relationship is going great. 2. He seems tired, ill, busy at work (all the excuses he gives you). You figure out you should just support him through this hard time. 3. BAM! He tells you it's over, and you're left paralysed! |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by SisiJinx: 6:23pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
JJYOU: Lmao! Au contraire mon amour. . . Love isn't blind, people just chose not to see. Love ya too  you will get wiser as you see more years. experience is a very bad teacher I thought it was a good teacher? Ah, if it is bad. . . where is the incentive to want to experience experience? |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by bluespice(f): 6:32pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Sisi Jinx:babies. whiny lil things they hate it when u say this but its the truth, men are overgrown babies and this is not a feminist post bashing men just laides stating facts |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 6:33pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Actually, it isn't always necessary to learn through experience, as experience can lead to many bad experiences , however, I correct my initial agreement, I believe experience is the best teacher, not the only and not always though. However, with certain things, you need not go through them to learn the lesson e.g. I don't need to be paralysed to know it is a life changing thing and something that is unpleasant to experience (putting it very lightly). |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by JJYOU: 6:40pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Sisi Jinx:you have only one heart and life. some things can break you beyond your wildest imagination. it is better you read about it as other peoples experience rather than go through it yourself. always worked on that small phrase my life is my personal theatre so i choose my audience carefully. some people are not worth travelling with for an hour let alone a lifetime. on the thread "taking back your gifts", i mentioned a relationship that nearly ruined me. only God knows what would have happened if i was younger. i hate to say this most people are not worth allowing into your life. love should never be an act but life as the daughter of jethro said to moses. true love wait. some people were never meant to be in your life for a life time. hold on to people lightly. it is God we should should hold tightly unto. only Him can direct the right person into our lives |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by iice(f): 6:45pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Whilst i do agree that men sometimes think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread, females can be crazy. Not everyone needs that kind of closure. If he doesn't want anything to do with you - neon sign! My sister always says, 'You suppose know when to get lost, especially when you arent wanted'. Love is not blind. People just like to blind themselves. |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by SisiJinx: 6:48pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
@ Topup I love your write ups jare, they make for very interesting read. While I agree with you with that closure is the key, I know some people who think closure is not as easy as it sounds, they say It would be inhuman not to go back and forth in your thoughts, which sometimes can translates to action. I've been accused a few times of never really loving because when I make up my mind that I'm done. . . I'm done. I don't think so because I make sure I state my reasons and let the other person know what happened and when. . . Even if the fault is more on my part. @ Bluespice Oh oh Twinie, you gon get in twouble now. They are going to say we didn't get the right Christmas presents fa.  10 bucks. . . One of 'em will come here and say "Jeez, another Naija guys bashing thread" completely ignoring that our lovely OP had GUYS not Naija Guys in the title. |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by Hauwa1: 6:53pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
no blindness at all. i shine my eyes all the time. aint going to wait for the crap. |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by JJYOU: 6:53pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
iice:is this a thread for all my favourite ladies or what? may truth never cease in your mouth. You suppose know when to get lost, especially when you arent wantedthis is true. however most people dont see it and let relationships die natural quiet deaths. mery christmas and a happy new year to you |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by JJYOU: 6:57pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Sisi Jinx:you bet they are coming |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by busybein: 7:00pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
not only im i wearing goggles,but also medicated contact lens and medicated eye-glass so wt all dis,my love definitely cannot be blind  |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by 8inch: 7:19pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
But in truth, there are some real crazy ladies out there. About a year ago, i had the misfortune of going on a trip to see my ex. As it was my first time of going to her place and i was to stay at a hotel and all. I had quite a lot of cash on me to avoid looking for an ATM machine and all. To cut a short story shorter, at the end of my visit, she pointed (a fact that i already knew) out that i had a lot of cash on me and offered to pay it into my bank account while i headed back home. Well, she defaulted and started to give a lot of stories. When the lies got too much and the trust was gone, i called it off and explained this to her (Wonder if she hadn't figured it out herself). To my utmost surprise, She came up with her own theory that i was just making excuses cos i had found another girl and all. Till date she has not refunded the cash. So you be the judge. If i was secretive about the cash on me, U ladies would play the trust card. But i am with you on the closure thingy |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by SisiJinx: 7:25pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
You should have screamed really loud when she wrestled you to the ground to take your money. I know hitting women isn't socially acceptable but if I were you I woulda being on top of her giving her upper cuts and lower punches when she was forcing you to give her you money. Shooo no gentleman in this case ooh. . . Not at all. |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by iice(f): 7:29pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
JJYOU: Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year to you and yours. Or the problems starts when you finish explaining your reasons, they think you are lying or joking or not serious 8inch+: LOL. . .wonders shall never end. |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by KarmaMod(f): 7:30pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
scream for what? what kind of dork places money in an EX's bank account |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by HorneyChic(f): 7:33pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Too lenghty |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by olanajim(m): 7:45pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
It would have been fairer if the message of the topic is broken up. At the way it is, I don't even know where to berth! Well let me see, Whatever the case. It isn't guys that are culprit. Women are also involved. I think from what I have seen in the last three months women are more into that kind of stuff than men. A guy who want to break your heart would not hesistate to do so if he desperately need to. But women on the other hand have to go through some hide and seek game before finding courage to tell you they are leaving you. Actually no one is crazy. It is just that at a stage in relationship, knowledge rules. The two couple know one another inside out and at that point, the desire to stay or leave come to fore. It is the point where love clash with reality. Lust would have long gone leaving behind the couple to fight their way back to sanity. That is why I always recommend loving with head and not heart! |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by SisiJinx: 7:52pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Rotflmao! Karma, that's exactly my point. He gave his money freely without being browbeaten or even beaten into it and now he is blaming her for losing it. When he carried that amount of money with him, one would assume he knew the kind of risks and he was willing to take 'em. Does he need to be told how to keep his own money safe? The other day, my nephew broke his piggy bank and had all his quarters in his pocket, I said to him. . . I said M this is not safe (not to mention noisy as heck) let me help you keep it in my purse for you. He said, no thanks. . . I like it like this. I said you know you can lose it and he said he knows that but he will be very careful. 6 years old just taught us about making decisions, risks and consequences. The girl is not crazy, she is just smart. . . Albeit dishonestly so. She saw a duere man and she took advantage of the duereness. Besides, shouldn't he have seen the dishonesty in her before dating her, right? I mean men can blame women for dating guys who end up to be bums, why shouldn't we blame guys for dating con women? Tit for tat lo laiye. |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by olanajim(m): 9:15pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
No madam! It is almost impossible for anyone to see dishonesty in a woman before dating. Maybe he should have wait to know her before making commitment. |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by SisiJinx: 10:03pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Where were you Sir, when a woman was blamed by some Nairaland men for not knowing that her husband would turn out to be a wifebeater? If women are expected to be that psychically inclined. . . surely we should expect the same from men. Tit for Tat my good sir, Tit for Tat!!  |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 11:34pm On Dec 26, 2008 |
Well, well, well, yes there are some women who genuinely are psycho, and they are obvious. I think in the case of 8inch+, it is clear that the ex took advantage of you. I don't think she was psycho, she was dishonest, possibly desperate for money. I don't agree or congratulate her actions at all and I am sorry that you lost the money. I think it's as simple as a mistake made on your part, trusting someone who no longer has any vested interest to be loyal or truthful to you (especially if you broke up with her). (I would never let an ex of mine plan my wedding LOL - though some people do this!) She might agree that you two can be friends but that means nothing, her actions should speak louder, and they do! As for the people complaining about the length of the write up, I actually am tired of apologising, this is how I am, some people like short and simple topics, in which the next few replies involve; 'Please explain fully what you mean.' , 'Can you give examples' and 'I don't get it' and I'll spend the next 5 posts explaining what I really meant. If you only wish to read one paragraph read one, if the topic does not interest you afterwards, then you can easily move along, if it does, I don't think it'll be such a pain to read the rest. It literally is 1 minute of your time. Anyways, I don't believe that closure isn't the way forward, as I have stated, I believe everyone should know what's up, whether it is a shortened version, a detailed analysis, or just a heads up. A disappearing act is NOT acceptable. I am tired of people being too shy of confrontation to say the truth. It shows that the person doing the break up is a little immature, break ups will never be pleasant enough for you to want to do them, you just have to, and you should think your freedom is worth it, or else why break up with the person (if it hurts you to do so). I would say that if anyone wants to break up with me, they can do whatever they like, as long as they tell me that they are: - Breaking up with me (surprisingly, a lot of people just up and leave or distance themselves), - Tell me a general overview of why (as if I'm supposed to just accept that they no longer feel the same way, and move on, it's not that easy!!) This way I won't be wondering: a) if they truly have broken up with me (then wanting to call to make sure, or asking his friends or family (classic stalker signs - they say!) AND b) if there is/was anything I could have done to save the relationship (since I didn't want or expect it to end at that moment in time). |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by toskom(m): 12:01am On Dec 27, 2008 |
Let all our ladies just be careful, when they 'fall in love'. just make sure u get God involve in your relationship, even with that may may still not work but the truth is that there is always a solomon to be born out of every bad relationship. |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by netotse(m): 12:06am On Dec 27, 2008 |
@topup, nice font colour! a guy withdrawing doesnt mean he's going to break up soon, with guys there's always a withdrawal that follows a period of closeness(or lovey-dovey)the guy that wrote men are from mars women are from venus wrote about it, he called it going into the cave(abi retreating) wot cld cos the break up is if the gel now starts bugging him(cos she's wondering y d sudden withdrawal), its due to the fact that we're different, it even happens btw guys sometimes u start to feel somehow abt a person then u withdraw for a bit and then after things get back to normal, u get? noticed there aren;t so many boys here and besides one of my friends checked my profile and remarked that i spend all my time in d romance section so am trying to spread out, so i'm on the low, |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by olanajim(m): 12:47am On Dec 27, 2008 |
Sis jinx, I didn't read the particular post you mentioned. Man or woman if you fall in love before you know your partner, you are gambling with your heart. In truth, what happen at first meeting, what we often call love at first sight is nothing but LUST. Ask a good psychologist and it would be confirmed. However, lust is very essential for love to germinate. The animal in human make it imperative that the two be attracted before anything can follow. We just tried to glorify LUST by calling it LOVE AT FIRST. Everyone feel it. At the the s next stage, the two partners agreeing to be friends. It is at this stage that couple evaluate themselves. Thereafter commitment come it and the LOVE. Those who skip this stage and allow the lustful affair to deepen without due diligent are those who often have the cause to regret not knowing their partners. It is strongly recommended that one know the other before making commitment. |
| Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 12:48am On Dec 27, 2008 |
netotse: Lol, at the part in bold. Yeah, you're right, I understand that people withdraw all the time, for different reasons, like I know my ex withdrew because he was uncertain about some things, I guess I bugged him, but that is because I really wanted to let him know that I am concerned about him, if your beloved doesn't call you once in a week, when usually he calls you everyday, and you do not even point it out or make a fuss, doesn' that seem strange, I didn't want to be walked all over, and I desperately wanted him to let me share his burden. I made that clear, initially I was trying to cheer him up with jokes, texts, messages, I even insisted we go to a quite romantic place to clear his head, I took a step back and stopped bugging him, but then he withdrew even further, and didn't call at all. After asking him what was up and I admit I tried guessing things, which could have made it worse, asking, 'Is it because you're moving away' blah blah blah, he finally got to the end of his tether and broke things off. Now can you blame me? All I wanted to do was to support him, I wasn't nagging him to call, I was merely stating the fact that I was aware something was up with him. Anyways, netotse, would you say I was being crazy, any tips from a male perspective, because I think you have something there, a good point. P.s. I like my font colour too |
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