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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses (111258 Views)
How Do You Deal With Spouses That Have Different Opinion About Family And Life? / Married Men And Women: Is It A Must You Take Dinner With Your Spouses? / Why We Cheat On Our Spouses – Abuja Residents (2) (3) (4)
|Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Solozzo(m): 7:33am On Feb 03, 2015|
Few hours before New Year of 2007, Kelechi Charles Emeruwa ambushed his estranged wife, Chidiebere Omenihu Ochulo at her home in a manicured Maryland suburb, armed with a kitchen knife. Emeruwa sliced and stabbed Chidiebere several times until she collapsed and died. Chidiebere, a registered nurse died at 36, leaving behind a raging estranged husband and three children. Chidiebere, was found dead on January 2, 2007. Days later, Emeruwa, then 46, was captured and charged with her murder. Today, he sits in a Maryland penitentiary serving life sentence for fatally stabbing his estranged wife to death. This killing is just one amongst several horrible stories of Nigerian husbands that had gruesomely murdered their wives within the past 10 years in America. These women were either registered nurses or professionals in the medical field.
Between 2006 and 2014, more than 50 Nigerian husbands murdered their wives in what might be considered crimes of passion as a result of alienation of affection, women empowerment, emasculation, and loss of self esteem. But are these enough reasons to slay their wives or are these ego trips because they were no longer the proverbial "bread winners of the family?" It is strange and difficult to determine the cold killings as most husbands awaiting trials remained mute. During trials, plea bargains were usually negotiated which led to sentencing of several years in jail or life terms in place of death sentences. In the case of David and Priscilla Ochola of Hennepin, Minnesota, the killer- husband, during a call to the police confessed to killing his wife because he was tired of being disrespected. On a cold January day in Minnesota, arguments ensued between David and his wife Priscilla: David, enraged during the argument, dashed into his bedroom, fetched his gun and fatally shot his wife. He called the police and explained thus: "Yes I have killed the woman that messed up my life; the woman that has destroyed me. I am at Shalom West. My name is David and I am all yours." Priscilla Ochola was a 28-year-old registered nurse. The 50-year old husband allegedly told authorities that he was tired of being "disrespected" by his wife. He married Priscilla in Nigeria, relocated her to United States and sponsored her nursing education. The couple had two children.
In an early morning altercation on March 22, 2014, Mr. Martin Ebegbodi, 63 fatally shot his wife Isioma Ebegbodi, a 36-year-old medical doctor, in their sprawling Harris County home in Texas. After killing his wife, Martin went to a neighbour's house and asked him to call the police. When deputies arrived, Martin was arrested and charged with the murder of his wife. The couple got married in 2005.
Two days after Christmas of 2013, Babatope Owoseni, a Nigerian resident in East Orange, New Jersey, violently subdued his pregnant Senegalese wife in the bath tub of their apartment and strangled her to death. Babatope by early 2014 was charged with double murder.
These are some of the most chilling reports of gruesome killing of Nigerian registered nurses and women in the medical profession by their Nigerian husbands in United States of America.
Mrs. Felicia Harrison, a registered nurse in Southern United States reasoned that the killings of these women by their husbands might be related to the stress of the profession, especially from the women who were stressed because of the responsibility they assumed as sometimes bread winners of the family. The stress affected their relationships at home with their husbands. Stress from work may be a contributing factor to domestic quarrels that ensued at home. Nursing profession is stressful, though financially rewarding, immigrants face social and psychological stresses additionally because, according to Harrison, "being a foreigner, it is, difficult for you in terms of communication and accent among co-workers, patients, family members and others in the interdisciplinary healthcare field. You find out that you are not as fast as the demand requires, on chores as the citizens are. You really have to do more by working harder to prove yourself. Often times, there is nothing that you do that pleases the patient because you are a foreigner; you face lots of limitations in moving up the clinical ladder and restrictions in terms of positions. Not to talk of bullying, racism, discrimination, envy. A lot of the stress we carry home and when we get to our homes, most Nigerian men feel that since their wives are nurses, they don't need to work again. They become lazy and wait for the woman to work, be a mother to the children, and still open legs for them to chop dried onugbu. There is no money in nursing except you work plenty overtime hours. Jebose, some buy big houses on mortgage with the hope that since the woman don become nurse, money go full everywhere. Honestly, those wey kill their wives na because of greed and laziness. Why can't the men go and study nursing and leave the woman alone? It's not easy; I work in the Heart Center and it's very stressful."
Despite the sad end of these nurses, American nursing profession continues to witness a surge of immigrant entrants into the profession.
Mrs. Princess Ekeoma Eronini-Ahanonu, a Philadelphia-based nurse, says, "I come from a family of nurses and doctors. My mother retired as a nurse and my brother is a medical doctor. Nursing is a challenging profession. I have had good and bad experiences especially in relating with my co-workers. Some of my good experiences were working together as a team to ensure the well being of my patients and the worst is being reminded that I have an accent. I had just graduated from the University of Port Harcourt as a Linguist in Foreign Languages before my sojourn to the United States of America. A lot of people go into nursing in America for various reasons. Some of these reasons are flexibility, pay and freedom of choice. The profession pays well if you work hard. I do not regret being a nurse in America because it has given me the opportunity to understand the world better. It is, though not a bed of roses. It is the survival of the fittest."
Harrison and Eronini-Ahanonu agreed that regardless of the stress and challenges of the nursing profession, it has been able to stabilise and enrich most practitioners and their families in such unique ways. It has also brought about sad situations such as losing dear loved ones, killed by their spouses. "Jebose, I chose to go into nursing profession as a stepping stone upon my arrival from Nigeria to United States because it was the only profession I was able to get a job. When my family and I relocated to United States as legal aliens and precisely Raleigh, North Carolina, two weeks after getting our legal documents; I began to search for the same kind of work I was doing while in University of Jos, Nigeria. I filled out lots of job applications to various universities within and outside North Carolina without a success. One of my brothers-in-law advised me to go into nursing because it would be much easier to get a job in nursing field faster than any other profession for foreigners. And it worked out as soon as I got certified, then. "In terms of positive experience, it has been very rewarding and worthwhile."
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Redoil: 7:39am On Feb 03, 2015|
Women with their bad mouth causing problems and confusion in the life of men since the days of adam and eve.
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by ArchEnemy(m): 8:14am On Feb 03, 2015|
Redoil:Bro, women can become tough nuts to crack. But letting oneself to be pushed to commit murder is horrible. It is well
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by mutter(f): 10:43am On Feb 03, 2015|
When you have nothing to live for, then you have everything to die for!
The fact that it keeps happening shows that the men are not all suddenly going mad.
A man that had worked so hard brought his much younger wife here to Germany, when they come to church the wife was so rude to the man, perhaps because she was better educated. I quickly grabbed hold of her and drew her aside. I warned her that her husband was respected in this community and if she ever tried it again where I was I would shred her to bits. Foolish girl!
These greedy bitches accept a man they do not love and are ashamed of just to get out of Nigeria and then they want to ruin the man.
Do you know that these men have worked so hard for so many years! Received all kinds of insults from society and then you bring this young girl and she gives you the final insult to let you know you are = 0.
How many of them come here with nothing and soon the man is out of his own home on the streets and having to pay maintenance.
When the study in America, they are able to do so because the man brought them there.
Nursing is not even a good paying job, like any menial job you can gather money if you work enough hours. While they are at work they cannot perform as wife`s so of what use is the work if it does not benefit the family?
No matter how educated or how much money they have a woman must humble herself and treat her husband with the utmost respect in all situations. That is not just good for the man but also for the children. The children are raised in an environment where the learn respect and manners.
That is what you get when a man that has struggled for years gets dragged into the mud in his own home. A man that has struggled and faced discrimination and abuse outside. Treat him like a king at home so that he can feel like the man he is, that will give him the strength to keep struggling.
Instead these women get rude, function like they don`t have a family, neglect the welfare of their husbands and homes and go running after the dollars.
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 10:58am On Feb 03, 2015|
But why did the men marry such women? and if the women are so evil why not divorce them?
Seeing as a woman can break a man he should do his due diligence to marry a woman who is good for him and become the kind of man who can command respect from his wife so that the children can learn how to respect themselves and others.
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by mutter(f): 11:09am On Feb 03, 2015|
The men married them because when before they got out they acted all humble or probably even where, but then their eyes opened.
I see some when they come newly "sir, daddy" and after a few months, "useless man".
How does a man become the kind of man that commands respect? Every human being commands respect. In accordance with our tradition every man commands respect from every woman and men have a different status in society. Did the woman not take a vow to submit to him or better for worse?
When you do the wine carrying why do you go down on your knees? Is that just a show, a body movement. It is a promise to the man made before your family and his that you would submit to the man and go down for him. The man does not have to command his respect it is your duty as his wife.
Divorcing them would mean loosing everything, even custody of the kid`s. That is how it functions. The man would loose everything he built up. He not only looses it but looses it to someone he built up who turned around to destroy him.
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by chigoizie7(m): 11:25am On Feb 03, 2015|
this is were we think that divorcing a woman in Europe is that easy, a man who brought a lady from Nigeria to London as a wife turned out to be hunted becaus the lady presumed she has better rights than he is, that's not good,(European Govt. supports women more than men by law. so why wont they misbehave? a Nigerian man wont tolerate that, well,when the couple visited Nigeria, the husband confiscated all her document,left her with no money, quarrel ensured and she threatened to sue him, the young man proudly said, sweetheart , "certainly not in Anambra". that's how she started begging that she will change, but the guy didn't hear any of it, he travelled without her. now the lady is back home alone with the mother in-law (now very humble and respectful) my question is, why wouldn't they respect the man while outside naija?
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 11:29am On Feb 03, 2015|
Okay, now I must admit you need mental help. This is sick, so its okay to kill her because she is rude. Mutter with all due respect you are not sane. Your own ex husband didn't kill you, but because you are alive and living you can spew this for other abused women justifying their murder. This is sick
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by mutter(f): 11:44am On Feb 03, 2015|
No justification for murder or violence in any form or on any person. No that is not what I am trying to say at all .
However even the law recognizes things like provocation and someone can totally loose control, become insane, snap.
At the end of the day of what use is it if it was justified or not. The poor woman is dead and no one can bring her back.
I actually am mad that women get exposed to such dangers and also that they expose themselves to such dangers
Indeed even their families encourage them to discard the man and send the money home to them.
If he had killed me I would have come back to hunt my family and society for putting that pressure on women to stay in a marriage
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 11:45am On Feb 03, 2015|
How and why will a woman go from daddy and sir to useless man? can it be just because her eyes are opened or are there other things going on that you cannot know. Why must it be the woman's fault? Accepted in some instances it will be mostly the woman's fault but it cannot be in all instances.
You speak of vow did the man not promise to love his wife? yet he kills the woman he promised to love for his pride sake he prefers his children to be orphans what level of selfishness is this? even the children are nothing to him his pride means every thing this is the kind of man that cannot command respect.
I don't think this kind of man is concerned about the custody of his kids,all he is concerned about is himself. If he was concerned about his kids he would not kill their mom and truly destroy everything.
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by 5minsmadness: 11:51am On Feb 03, 2015|
"Yes I have killed the woman that messed up my life; the woman that has destroyed me. I am at Shalom West. My name is David and I am all yoursThis.
Men are built,innately, for WAR.
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 11:56am On Feb 03, 2015|
Its her fault when she works 16 hours a day and comes home and is expected to clean up, cook and care for the kids without complaint knowing fully well she can't get a househelp to help out abroad like we have here. A man who wants control will do anything to get it. Are there no women abroad? Why travel and marry a woman he doesn't know simply to bring her abroad and try to control her knowing the system abroad doesn't function like that?
He wants good roads, good health care a working system, a wife who earns well yet he still wants to act like an African cave man while enjoying the benefits of civilisation abroad.
I can't even deal with this line of thought, all women abroad are not evil, marry who you know and stop running to marry girls you don't know just so you can act like a barbarian abeg.
This is sad coming from someone abused so all thosr times you got beaten shebi you provoked your ex? You make it sound as if these women earn their deaths did you earn every slap and belt you received
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 11:56am On Feb 03, 2015|
this is silly coming from you.
why are you putting her personal stories here just because her opinion is different from yours?
you are irritatingly immature!
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by pickabeau1: 11:58am On Feb 03, 2015|
i dont see any justification for murder in mutter's post
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by mutter(f): 11:58am On Feb 03, 2015|
Yes there are certainly women that are innocent.
However you meet a man that comes back from a foriegn land. He left ages ago, you do notcare how he really makes his money, what he did there, how he got his stay.
You enter into the mouth of a dragon blindfolded. He does not care about the custody of the children- possible, he probably already has kid`s that he discarded with a woman from there or more.
You meet him in Nigeria in glamour, you do not realize that he is toiling in a foreign land to display that glamour there.
I am not saying that the men are innocent, certainly not!
After toiling and slaving they are there to look for their domestic slave to assist them in the slavery.
You should toil for him and give him the fruits of your labour.
In most cases you must admit that the couple hardly know themselves.
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:01pm On Feb 03, 2015|
I am not talking to you please.
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 12:05pm On Feb 03, 2015|
that doesn't mean i cannot point out your gross stüpidity. if you want to talk to yourself, there are various sanatoriums in your city.
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:05pm On Feb 03, 2015|
" you have nothing to live for then you have everything to die for" That was the opening please explain
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:06pm On Feb 03, 2015|
Again I was not talking to you. Thank you for pointing out my " gross stupidity "
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:07pm On Feb 03, 2015|
Hunt which family and society? they would have exorcised you to hell for dying when you could have fled. .
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 12:09pm On Feb 03, 2015|
do i need to subtitle my last reply to you or something? you don't have to talk to me to call out your idiöcy - my freedom of speech guarantees that.
when they say women are their own worst enemies, you scream like a rhesus monkey. you are using another woman's past ugly ordeals against her in public just to make yourself feel cool?
how could you stoop so low?
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by pickabeau1: 12:12pm On Feb 03, 2015|
It means when a human is pushed to the wall, rationality departs
Its not a justification
Why do mothers kill their own kids to spite the fathers..
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by mutter(f): 12:13pm On Feb 03, 2015|
Aisha no one said the women are evil.
That is the reality of life out there. You wake up exhausted and you go to bed exhausted. The kind of chores I have to do here I can`t imagine a woman in Nigeria having to deal with that. Working hours on end and days on end is nothing strange. I have had jobs that started at 4 in the morning, worked 28 days through without a day off. Kept more than one job and still had to do my house work. All that with kid`s and pregnancy in between. The life out here is no fun at all. It is hard.
That is why it is so important for the man and the wife to unite as one and plan and make the situation bearable. Because it is so sad out there you need to have peace at home. Also if you keep working hours on end to make more money then the home suffers.
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:17pm On Feb 03, 2015|
Exactly, thats why I keep asking why these men go home and marry women they barely know while there are women abroad. They said women abroad are bad, marry women here and go and kill them still, Why?
Marry someone you understand, who understands the system, who you both can toil together with facing a common goal. However they marry women they think they can control and when they loose control they start killing and hitting them.
The girls are not saints either but no one male or female deserves to be killed simple. Living abroad and working hard is not beans.
My three questions are simple
1. Why leave women in the environment they live in and go to marry women they hardly know?
2. What is a good enough reason to take another human life
3. Is it not better to let go of a bad relationship than to end their lives and yours?
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:18pm On Feb 03, 2015|
Lol @ Mutter being insane. Nairaland never disappoints. You guys should look at it this way: when the oyibos are in this situation, they get cuckolded, frivorced and eventually commit suicide; my brethren, on the other hand would rather murder their adversary than commit suicide and leave their sweat to an ungrateful wench.
When people like Coogar, Sagamite and TV come on here to speak the truth of the entitlement of women in the west you people call them misogynists, yet the fact is someone is dying when the marriage collapses either by murder or suicide. Now, Mutter has joined the misogynistic ranks with mental disorders?
Would I have killed this woman if I were in the man's shoes? Definitely, not. I value my own life and liberty too much to entertain such tomfoolery. However, like Mutter observed, he felt he no longer had anything to live for.
Meanwhile, for the unmarried brothers out there, hypergamy doesn't care. Hypergamy does not care. It doesn't care for morals, it doesn't care for loyalty, it doesn't care for fairness. Only you can protect you. Place your entire faith in a westernised, read feminised too, woman and you'll have only yourself to blame.
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:20pm On Feb 03, 2015|
I feel its justification. It means when you get in a rage and feel its over for you instead of calming down and thinking of how to work out the situation its okay to kill and commit suicide.
Everyone gets pained one time or the other, the wife who spends all her youth building a life with her husband gets betrayed does it justify her murdering him or poisoning him? NO. People should learn to deal with anger and difficult situations, not by thinking killing another is the solution
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by pickabeau1: 12:29pm On Feb 03, 2015|
That's your interpretation
It was an explanation of some remote causes which leads to this
When an individual sees no future and loss ahead, he may react unpredictably
Her thrust is that some women push their husbands deliberately to the wall to break them down because the laws favour them.
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:34pm On Feb 03, 2015|
So if women push their husband's to the wall should their reward be death? Men here push women to the wall everyday because the law here favours them, if women start poisoning their husband's should we say " oh well its the men who pushed them to the wall"?
Abuse of power is common to both genders but should one take laws into their hands and end a life?
As hard as it is for women here to start their life all over we always advice that they leave when a relationship gets bad, men too there should leave. Murdering their wives can certainly not be a solution
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|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:40pm On Feb 03, 2015|
What happens here is what happens abroad.
Woman works with man to build a life, marries him poor, invests her money her youth her energy. Man hits it big, she suddenly isn't good enough, he throws her out and marries younger lover, she has nothing, old and tired she watches a younger woman enjoy the fruits of her labor and dies in misery and heart break.
Abroad, man hustles for years, makes enough money goes home picks a young " submissive" bride. They go abroad she sees the system goes crazy, kicks him out she doesn't need him, she earns a lot more, gets younger man, he is out in the cold, everything he works for gone with the wind, he is starting all over at 60 while pne young man is enjoying all he worked for all his life.
Its the same situation only difference is we hardly see headlines of " increase in rates of wives murdering their husband's " down here while the second one has loads of reports with people applauding and defending it
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:41pm On Feb 03, 2015|
True the couples hardly know themselves which is why the man should have married a woman he will not have to kill or develop coping skills to match the situation.
Note the woman could have divorced him and walked away with everything as you said but she didn't so why did she stay?
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by mutter(f): 12:43pm On Feb 03, 2015|
Aisha, ask your self this question-
What drives a man to commit an act that would get him locked up in jail for the rest of his life in a foriegn land. He would sit in jail and strangers take care of his kid`s. Not see his parent`s in Nigeria, not attend any funerals, weddings, go to any sick bed. Loose everything he had in his life.
What would make a rational human being pay such a high price. It certainly is not just anger or revenge! It is much more. The men have lost complete control of the situation because the fuse has snapped.
|Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 12:46pm On Feb 03, 2015|
Like I wrote above it happens to women here everyday yet they hardly go killing their spouses. Women are abandoned after years of hardwork and left to die bitter from heart break am sure everyone knows some woman in those shoes but it doesn't mean they should go killing. I asked 3 questions above If you have the time please respond
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