narrator
North korea dark and grim home of poverty, hostility as well as oppression, home of untested and incompetent leader george w. bush jnrkim jong un and home of the latest inter continental ballistic missile pointing at the united states, they even marked a launch ceremony for it because violence is worth celebrating in korea
little girl
Its a good day for us in north korea God bless north korea, God bless our leader and in an unrelated topic burn america burn, may you people starve and beg for food may you people drown in blood and may your women be r*ped by black people(that's right racist jokes never get old) just like you did to libya amen
(Launches missile)
news reporter
We are dealing with a modern day hitler, in north korea minus the invasion of weak countries or the quest for world domination not even his funky soup strainer I mean if we are comparing this guy to hitler what would we call george bush that invaded two countries on credit , made america even more hated than before and almost wrecked the economy of america and the whole world Anyway..........
james franco
Hi guys you are welcome to another seth rogen movie where we are the same people who just happen to be besties with the same personality and all. So todays role playing will be; I am going to be a bullsh*t and unconvincing big shot show host
seth rogen
While I will be his producer/man servant and room mate?
audience
*rolling eyes* I hope this wouldn't be another movie where you guys
-demonstrate your friendship with really weird pervert-like statements
-get drunk,do drugs and party for no reason
-have a childish fight that tears your friendship apart for 2minutes after which you
-prophesy your love for each other at the face of death?
seth rogen
Hey guys seth rogen movie, of course that sh*t is gonna happen are you kidding?
narrator
welcome to america home of freedom and successful people and so much vibrant culture and colour where eminem can randomly say he is gay without fearing any repercussions like promoters dropping the f*ck out of him or fans boycotting his songs or even getting attacked by homophobic nut cases, because in america everyone is happy
james franco
So eminem you are gay?
eminem on acid
Yep!
james franco
Really?
eminem on acid
Really really
james franco
Just how gay are you?
eminem on acid
Let me put it this way your smile has a better chance of giving me a b*ner than megan fox giving me a lap dance with no clothes on
james franco
So when you said in your song I see nice rectum I just had a vasectomy so hector you won't get pregnant if I bisexually wreck you that meant?
eminem on acid
My career would have been over decades ago if I wrote lame lyrics like that, the f*ck who came up with that sh*t?
narrator
next james throws seth a surprise 1000 episode party where he embarrasses himself by making lame lord Of The Rings references and really weird faces at the same time,
seth bumps into his old buddie from college
old buddie from college
Hi seth
seth rogen
I'm good I have a good job reporting the news just like you
old buddie from college
Really?
seth rogen
What's that supposed to mean?
old buddie from college
My job is better than your job its more serious
seth rogen
No my job is better than yours
old buddie from college
No mine is better
seth rogen
No mine is better
old buddie from college
No mine is............ really? So we are totally gonna act like 3rd graders on a playground? oh seth when would you ever write a good movie? (walks away)
narrator
seth starts pouting like a 2 year old and james spots it a mile away
james franco
Okay why are you acting like someone shoved a d*ck down your throat?
seth rogen
I want our crappy show to compete with 90minutes and I want to be an academy award nominee like you
james franco
Mange mange give us the sh*t give us the sh*t
seth rogen
Dude why are you lifting lines from that awful movie salo?
james franco
I'm just trying to say doing crappy interviews is our niche and it will take a miracle to make you have a real acting career or an academy nomination so let's just give the people what they want
seth rogen
What da? How the f*ck does that relate to a disturbing sight of a dozen n*de teenagers eating peoples sh*t

Never mind, I want us to leave our origin and head unto a field we don't know jack sh*t about let's stop interviewing childish attention seeking entertainers and let's start interviewing liars and propagandist like that dude andrew cooper from CNN does
james franco
Hmmm maybe we can get obama to admit that his incredibly large ears are fake and we could get john kerry to chop wood in half with his enormous chin, you know what? Count me in let's get serious, and our first interview will be reclusive leader randall park who is a surprise fan of ours even though he hates everything our show stands for
seth rogen
Ok I shall just head unto the end of china to negotiate an interview
narrator
seth is attacked by rabid north korean soldiers who are high on caffeine because koreans are always hostile and act like cavemen hence the world should fear them
Signed:
America media
diana bang
(Hops out of helicopter)
Hmmmmn so a non-democratic and possibly anti-femminist regime has a lady as a high ranking north korean military officer?

Oh well you know how seth rogen always has to have a love interest in every movie to boost his low self esteem
seth rogen
I also noticed the way you stepped out of the helicopter was the exact same way that danny mcbride stepped out of that truck in this is the end we probably should change it but its a seth rogen movie so f*ck creativity or the ability to tell my movies apart
diana bang
So our supreme leader randall park has arranged for a one hour interview where he will supply the questions you have 24 hours to reply I guess I should have told you this over the phone but we koreans are very st*pid and act like illiterates I'm off

To be continued....

Ol' boy u don cum again no make kim jun un or wateva his name is & his hackers enta naija o

shockwave91:
Ol' boy u don cum again no make kim jun un or wateva his name is & his hackers enta naija o

shei korean hackers fit test our yahoo boys? Abi them no dey fear face?

O boy! U no go like go join honest trailer dem. U don turn anti hollywood o!

Csami:
O boy! U no go like go join honest trailer dem. U don turn anti hollywood o!

sounds like fun I gats think about am

seth rogen
(Back at new york)
Franco we can't interview this guy because he is going to be answering his own questions which does not allow for freedom of the press which america is in support of by the way
james franco
Wait so you are trying to tell me that oprah or pierce morgan don't rehearse questions with their guests before interviews? Lol! I get it we are trying to sell america in this movie but isn't it a bit much? Anyway we still have to do the interview because of steak and vegetable reference, figure it out on your own
narrator
so james announces his interview with randall park and the whole of america is amused and angry about it
american presenter
James is interviewing a man whose people are starving (ofcourse we americans totally have nothing to do with that), he tortures his people and violates their human rights which we totally don't do in america
seth rogen
America is mad at us piss and moan
james franco
Anus joke number 1 haha because that's all this movie will focus on buttholes and homophobic remarks, anyway (drops ecstacy in seth's mouth) time for an obligatory drug party
narrator
they have a drug party and totally get wasted which is a good idea especially with seth rogen whining about the world taking them seriously,the following day lizzy caplan shows up at the door
seth rogen
Hey we aren't interviewing side kicks in chick flicks anymore now f*ck off
lizzy caplan
No you don't understand I'm not a cameo I'm actually a top CIA agent
seth rogen
O_o really? I guess its not only my stories and acting chops that suck a*ss I guess my cast directing is also terrible anyway come in
james franco
Yea just in time for me to joke about how I probably f*cked a chick with yeast infection and ruin guacamole for everyone
lizzy caplan
So I heard you shall be doing an interview with randall park @ his CGI home and I will like to use this opportunity to assassinate him
Oh gosh! This is so unrealistic so a CIA agent will reveal herself and order the assassination of one of earth's most powerful and the most controversial men to non other than two moronic journalists? But anyway whatever pays the bills
seth rogen
Why are you asking journalists to do your wet work? what happened to your usual ways you know? Sponsor insurgency, cause instability then swoop in to occupy the country and drag their leader before an international bias court which will in turn sentence him to death?
lizzy caplan
Unjustified military occupation is not on the countrys budget this year getting two *diots to kill him is way cheaper, besides there's a faction of his administration that want him gone
seth rogen
I don't think that means they want him dead lizzy
lizzy caplan
So what do you suggest?
seth rogen
How about we turn him into a lama toss in out into town and make him open his eyes to humility
lizzy caplan
We don't have a lama transformation potion
seth rogen
How about we cut off his hair and dump his a*ss in newyork so he can work in a disgusting grocery store among refugees and become humble through that process
lizzy caplan
Jesus what bullsh*t movie was that?
seth rogen
O_o the dictator was an awesome movie which made more money than this crap-fest
Anyway my point is that perhaps what randall park needs is reasoning and not a bullet to the head
james franco
Sure I'll kill him it can't be that hard and it shouldn't take too long long and hard get it? lizzy. seth rogen
Er..... Dude are you seriously getting a b*ner right now?!
james franco
Why are you so desperate to see my p*nis?
seth rogen
When seth runs out of jokes, seth goes deep and dirty now show me your p*nis
james franco
Oh God did you see lizzy? Oh man she's got glasses ,big t*ts and a voice like a sex line operator she's the whole package
seth rogen
Dude you do realize she is honey potting you right?
james franco
Honey pot?
seth rogen
That's a new slang I'm hoping 12 year old kids who just stumbled upon p*rn will be using just like they did with twerking, honey potting is when someone is actually seducing you into doing some dangerous sh*t that can get your a*ss killed
james franco
C'mon this is the 21st century women don't do that anymore
seth rogen
You mean women don't use fashionable glasses and push up bras and sexy voices to seduce men into commitment nowadays? Yea they sure don't do that anymore anyway let's drop in my obligatory m*sturbation joke and call it a day, then we can talk about whether or not we wanna assassinate this guy
narrator
next seth and franco and given a grand invitation to langley into their secret training centre where they shall plot randall parks assassination really? Journalists?
seth rogen
dude! I thought we were going to talk about killing randall or not
james franco
Oh yea we were supposed to have that discussion but hey its a 90minute movie let the audience connect the dots themselves,don't worry it will be like argo only this will have even more un-inspiring lead actors, so how are we gonna kill this mother f*cker
lizzy caplan
You shall be assassinating him by using this ricin strip which you shall apply to your hand and shake hands with the president by 12 hours tops a healthy man will demonstrate signs of diarrhoea, cholera and epilepsy before dying a painful and horrific death
seth rogen
Em I thought poisons were supposed to cause cardiac arrest which is less suspicious if he dies the way you mentioned wouldn't that raise some eye brows especially with how koreans are said to be as paranoid as f*ck?
james franco
Yea that death sounds a bit too unsatisfactory, I bet even the audiences are getting bored, let's do some spoilers to tantalize them a bit, can I kill randall in a rather more graphic way?
lizzy caplan
no
james franco
Can I challenge his soldiers into a full scale gun fire vs girly screams war?
lizzy caplan
No
james franco
Can I be rescued by super badass and invisible navy seals?
lizzy caplan
no
james franco
Can I write a book about it then?
lizzy caplan
Look! You are going to north korea and you shall assassinate the president (of a country whose secret service assassins almost killed a man with a ballistic fountain pen last 2 year) with a 14 year old ricin strip plot device we stole from spy games and season 2 of 24 and that is final
james franco
you are kidding right?!
lizzy caplan
Of course I am you hear that r*pists in the 21st century when women say no they actually mean yes
Now for a test demonstration
(Franco f*cks it up)
One try and you have failed? Perfect you are ready for your mission now proceed to Q-branch where you would receive another 20 year old gadget from action man cartoon series and a bag to hide our obvious poison which koreans will be dumb enough not to find
And oh more spoilers franco randall shall manipulate you and seth you shall fight a tiger have fun!
james franco
This bag is so ugly I shall put the ricin strip in an unsealed pack of gum
seth rogen
F*ck no man carry the ugly bag
james franco
Randall park is a fan which means that he knows I'm fashion conscious that's why I shall not be carrying this bag but instead I shall carry this really ugly non-name brand wrist watch Why don't you carry the ugly bag and hide the poison?
seth rogen
Actually why isn't any CIA handlers coming along with us as technical staff or something? But you know what? Details aren't important. Alright fine keep the f*cking poison in the pack of gum let's hope security doesn't search it along with our intestines and rectums
narrator
they arrive at pyogyang and after james gives another embarrassing and so not funny speech they head for randall parks CGI residence with diana bang
diana bang
James why are you staring outside the window?
james franco
I'm conducting a census of all the hungry people in north korea I heard they have the hungriest people in this country I'm surprised they haven't launched at the car and totally munched the side mirrors
diana bang
Well contrary to what people say about korea no one is actually starving here look at that convenient fat kid placed in front of a supermarket at your side of the window
james franco
Oh one fat kid? That has automatically changed my mind, you guys aren't starving afterall and the fact that the kid is actually doing nothing but waving at the car doesn't make me the list suspicious now unto my next question is it through your president was born without an anus(butthole joke number 2) diana bang
What da f*ck how can a grown a*ss man like you believe such? I mean yea its true, its a god-like trait of his just like I heard michelle obama is the prettiest woman in the world and according to x men jfk was a mutant whose special powers was pulling down buildings with his bizarre looking head
To be continued....

narrator
they reach randall's personal security who picks up the gum pack in 2 seconds of their arrival
Charles Rahi Chun
Hey what's this?
james franco
It's er gum?
Charles Rahi Chun
Actually it looks like poison(sniffs it) it smells like poison(chews it) it even tastes like poison and your cringing isn't doing you both any favours but you know what? I believe ya! F*ck your chewing gum americans yuk!
seth rogen
I learnt this from james bond whenever you walk into a hotel scan for any microphones let's use our multipurpose wrist watches which the koreans were too dumb to notice
james franco
Ok no microphone that means we are out of danger no cameras or eavesdropping soldiers will be paying attention to us
Charles Rahi Chun
That's right we koreans are very paranoid that's why we shall be placing you two in adjoining suites and place no cameras or surveillance equipments in the room so you can plot my bosses death without interference
seth rogen
Hello agent lizzy james franco put his ricin strip in a pack of gum and  Charles Rahi Chun just ate it
james franco
Why the hell did you tell her that? its going to be extremely difficult to f*ck her now damn!
seth rogen
Yea right like all the dumb sh*t you've been saying throughout the movie isn't a turn-off already
lizzy caplan
Hang on tight I will send another ricin strip seth you are the expendable one here go put on the darkest clothes you just so happen to have brought along in your little travel pack and go outside to
Retrieve the package
seth rogen
Why me can't you pick a soldier from your anti randall faction to pick up the package?
james franco
Is there any part of this movie where we actually sleep because we've been on an over 12 hour journey plus jet lag?
narrator
then america sends out a drone (which is big enough to bring food to the starving korean people they claim to give a sh*t about) to carry a poison to commit murder and further plunge north korea into chaos, seth goes to retrieve the package and a siberian tiger comes out to retrieve a snack
siberian tiger
Wait so we are supposed believe that there are wild animals in the presidents back yard?
seth rogen
Well em*smacks* let's just say you are er the presidents pet tiger he uses to kill dissidents/spies
siberian tiger
Hmmm good idea alright why am I not attacking you already?
seth rogen
Because we are waiting for a metal d*ldo to strike you dead
siberian tiger
Metal d*ldo what metal (gets struck by the package which should have been smaller by the way)
seth rogen
Phew! I've the package
lizzy caplan
Thank God for a second I was hoping you and the package get eaten by the tiger to conceal any evidence of espionage and then we would have to rely on james STD to kill randall
seth rogen
What?
lizzy caplan
(Changes topic) hey seth there are korean soldiers charging towards you hide the package
seth rogen
But where should I hide it
james franco
Hide it in your butt
dead tiger
Hide it in your butt my blood will lubricate it
lizzy caplan
Hey I'm a cunt who has tried a*al before the tip is the hardest as soon as you pass the tip you get an org*sm so hide it in your butt
d*ldo shaped package
Yea hide me in your a*ss it so happens that I look like a p*nis so hide me in your butt you haven't got a lot of time you know?
narrator
seth hides a 12 inch metallic thingy in his butt in 2 seconds just in time before the korean army snatch him and search the f*ck out of him
seth rogen
Hey why did you strip me n*ked?
Charles Rahi Chun
Because we are north korean we have no respect for human rights in korea your d*ck is my d*ck well good thing we've respect for peoples anus so you're free to go we will certainly not keep close watch on you guys after your suspicious tiger fight night stroll infact we shall be calling our supreme leader to meet with you in a moment
james franco
And we are still not getting any naps weird!
randall park
Hi franco I'm the supreme leader of north korea
james franco
What da f*ck?now we have a dude that looks nothing like kim jong? Everything about this movie sucks
randall park
Well I heard I was the only guy they auditioned for this role they said I was a natural
james franco
Even ricki yun would have made a better kim jong than you damn! Alright what's up next?
randall park
Well seeing as this movie has no character development or direction, we shall go do some bonding in a forest whitaker james mcavoy last king of scotland kinda way
narrator
they engage in all kinds of seth rogen movie stuff like riding amoured tanks, making homophobic jokes, making more butt hole jokes and of course doing drugs and f*cking korean chicks
audience
Wow couldn't you guys at least ask around about kim jongs true personality? C'mon this kim is just a frat boy with asian accent its even worse than "the dictator"
narrator
meanwhile seth rather than having his a*ss interrogated by soldiers, he is shown into a secret broadcast room which will be totally controlled by koreans
diana bang
So as you can see our kick-a*ss studio has all the engineers and equipment to make a good show which begs the question, why are you even here with franco? What's your use in this movie?
seth rogen
Because I'm the f*cking writer now apologize to me by praising my work
diana bang
I loooooooove! How clever you americans are with your sexual innuendos I mean miley cyrus camel toe v*gina is totally awesome and not perverted in anyway you americans are so intelligent I love you and I want my country to be like yours
seth rogen
Okay okay a*ss kissing is over time for lunch
james franco
Hey seth
seth rogen
How was randall?
james franco
He was wonderful and so awesome he is coconuts for katy perry
seth rogen
what?! There was a radio in his tank and in your watch didn't cause the radio to make that boom boom sound?!
james franco
Dude its a seth rogen movie not valkyrie stop trying not to make it silly okay as I was saying, we both talked about how disappointed our fathers were with us on their death beds we talked about how everyone thinks we are morons and oh we also scored with korean chicks you know what? I don't think I wanna murder him anymore
seth rogen
F*ck you man of course you are going to kill him he is honey d*cking you,
you see honey dicking is for the guys while honey potting is for the ladies
james franco
How is he honey d*cking me?
seth rogen
He is showing you what you want to see and telling you what you want to hear so you both can make a fake bond
james franco
So he doesn't really need approval from his late father and he doesn't like katty perry songs and he rented those cars
seth rogen
No all those are true everything else (which is nothing) is false
james franco
So how was your day?
seth rogen
Oh it was wonderful I spent it with diana who said I was clever and super talented
james franco
Hmmm you are non of that so I think she was honey potting you
seth rogen
Well she is an ally
james franco
How do you know that?
seth rogen
Because I wrote the script
james franco
Not fair how come your korean friend is good while mine is the bad guy?
Charles Rahi Chun
Hey american dudes that are always arguing in low suspicious tones, you are invited for a dinner party where I shall meet my horrific and unjustified demise which you insensitive f*cks will struggle to make fun of
seth rogen
Unjustified?
Charles Rahi Chun
I mean I'm just following orders like richard nixon and jim crowe's bodyguards and who knows I could even be part of that anti-randall faction

To be continued

seth rogen
yea we probably shouldn't make light of your death scene
i apologize.......... just kidding we shall start making tasteless jokes about your impending death right from this scene how is that for insensitivity?
America
Moral of the story, tongue out to ukraine,iraq and everyone else cause we don't care about anyone else but us
signed:
american government
narrator
next seth and james are in a restaurant where they are entertained by some kids who are obviously not playing the guitar and are doing a bad job faking it,james is seated next to randall and seth is seated next to diana courtesy of the movies convenience department then Charles Rahi Chun begins to clean his gun for no reason few seconds before he begins to lose his sh*t literally
Charles Rahi Chun
oh God all that time seth and james were asking about my health i should have gone to the hospital to get checked now for no reason i shall conveniently shoot my second in command who was just as suspicious as me
narrator
he does so and it is really disgusting and uncalled for then the koreans mourn their dead Which is supposed to be funny? Seth may have some explaining to do during the directors cut.
Next james and seth are shown in randalls compound which is totally a set by the way

james franco
I'm not gonna kill randall
seth rogen
yes you are gonna kill him
korean soldiers
hmmm seth and james are arguing really loud about killing my boss but oh look according to the script i shouldn't give a f*ck and so shall it be
seth rogen
Time for an obligatory childish fight, you shall kill randall my anus shall not be violated in vain
james franco
he is my best friend and the only one that gets me
seth rogen
dude i thought i was the only one who understood you? besides since when did you become so emotionally desperate for approval,mr. smile and don't give a sh*t about what anybody says this is completely out of your character who wrote this dum...... Oh never mind
james franco
now i shall toss the poison strip into a water fountain and hope the dude cleaning the fountain doesn't find the strip and submit it to the president
randall park
hey james join me at a restaurant to mourn my bodyguard in english
james franco
of course
seth rogen
hey randall
randall park
Er who is this guy? and why is he smiling weird and stretching out his hand while walking towards me in slow motion?
seth rogen
i just wanna shake your hand so that you may die the same way your bodyguard did and we will definitely be top suspects randall park
okay any friend of james is a friend of mine
james franco
he is jewish
randall park
ew! (scurries off)
seth rogen
obligatory jewish discrminatory joke check
narrator
randall mourns his bodyguards in english
randall park
i miss them so much they've looked after me since i was a kid and now in totally unrelated terms i shall rant about how much i hate america and how much of a jerk i am of course i shall do this in english and in francos presence(quotes jeremiah wright from boondocks). motherf*ck america,motherf*ck america's mother mother f*ck america's daddy, america can eat a d*ck america can.......... Oh great why didn't anyone tell me that james is still here
james franco
er can i take a stroll?
randall park
after hearing me sound like such a jerk? sure go unguarded have fun i just hope you don't stumble on my fake supermarket
narrator
james franco stumbles upon the fake supermarket
james franco
what da? so they had the time to build an outside structure but no time to stock the shop wow that's really childish or shall I say seth rogen-ish (flips through script) randall is all they say he is afterall he is a drug dealer an arms dealer, a r*pist, a terrorist and i know this because i just found his #FakeMart hey that sounds good lemme tweet it real quick
narrator
meanwhile seth gets a visit from diane
diana bang
hi i am here to go over some last minute details for the show why are you holding your hand open?
seth rogen
because i have a ricin strip poison on my palm
diana bang
haha you are so funny i thought you were going to make another m*staurbation joke
seth rogen
i think we have filled our m*sturbation quota for the day
diana bang
oh you are so funny can we bump pelvics?
Seth rogen
What?!
diana bang
We koreans have a fetish for fat american panda looking motherf*ckers
seth rogen
i probably should go take off the ricin strip in the bathroom or something but on the otherhand sex! lets have handless sex like that is possible
diana bang
oh my mood is ruined
seth rogen
why? because you are feeling guilty for being a propagandist in a totalitarian dictatorship(which you shouldn't expose to pure strangers by the way)
diana bang
no because i thought my career will take off on a more promising base not f*cking seth rogen in one of his boring movies that have no direction and depends heavily on filthy and offensive jokes
To be continued.....

james franco
hey guys i came to ruin the mood with my rage, i hate randall so much where's that ricin strip i am so gonna shake the f*ck out of his hand so he can sh*t his pants and die all because of #FakeMart
diana bang
what?
james franco
what the f*ck is she doing here lets kill her
seth rogen
she is one of the legendary anti randall faction she is on our side
james franco
dude that only happens in james bond flicks what makes you think she was not sent here to fake her "change of heart" as a way to spy on us?
seth rogen
because i wrote the f*cking story genius
diana bang
and north koreans are very st*pid there's no way there could be clever enough to launch that kind of plan
seth rogen
so how do we kill him?
diana bang
no we shouldn't kill him haven't you americans learnt from libya and iraq? killing him won't solve anything instead let's............... make him cry his eyes out and sh*t his pants? what the hell will that achieve?
seth rogen
that way the koreans will hate him and democracy will reign automatically get it? okay fine i know i can't sell that but its the best i can come up with and we are desperately looking for a laugh here we don't want the audience dwelling on the fact that america f*cked up iraq and libya real nice that's bad for market
diana bang
*rolling eyes* whatever looks like we need guns for that
james franco
O_o okay so don't kill randall but kill the innocent people who are only following orders? Sucks to be korean right now
seth rogen
speaking of guns I've got a 8=========D with your name on it
diana bang.
(Holds back barf) yea right more like 8=D
narrator
seth dry humps the sh*t out of diana to the utter disgust of the audience
james franco
you ready?
seth rogen
yea i just had sex and i was thinking about randall the whole time wait that didn't come out right
james franco
i love you man lets kiss and make up and go sacrifice our lives for the freedom of the koreans because americans are the good guys
seth rogen
even though we are here because we want to be taken seriously and we want to kill randall because he has nuclear missiles that can reach america
diana bang
and you also killed charles rahi chun but i shall gladly sweep that under the carpet now lets go its show time
narrator
next we are subjected to a montage of randall getting ready for his interview
seth rogen
and let us shoot it the same way we shot danny mcbrides first appearance in this is the end because we have run out of ideas
and make sure you get a shot of his a*ss that is the money shot right there
randall park
now i shall just slip a gun in my ankle holster just in case franco asks any dumb questions and doesn't follow the script
steven spielberg
may be i should have done that to julia roberts on the set of hook
korean soldier
rather than shooting the interview on live tv shouldn't we record the interview and broadcast an edited version?
randall park
DO NOT QUESTION MY GEEEEEEEENIUS!!!!
narrator
james walks in
randall park
hi james guess what? i got you this dog from the set of this is the end (because we aren't even trying anymore)
james franco
oh holy good f*ck I love it alright lets begin the interview
how are you randall?
randall park
fine
james franco
how old are you?
randall park
i'm 40 years old which is weird since the real kim jong is in his 30s
viewers around the world
this is so boring why isn't james asking questions that can aggravate such an unpredictable person that can burst a cap in his chest
james franco
alright f*cking around is over why are you starving your people?
randall park
er i don't think you wanna go there james
james franco
oh yes i do 16 million of your people are living in poverty
randall park
well george bush did cancel our bilateral trade agreement with south korea and labelled us a rogue state so almost everyone turns their back on us so what's your excuse for 45.3million american people living in poverty? way more than north koreas by the way
james franco
45.3? I mean haha this isn't about me now but you get handouts of the united nations but why are your people still starving
george w bush jnr
haha the old american city shuffle you give'em UN aid with our right hand and slap them harsh economic sanction with our left hand classic
james franco
get the f*ck outta here george! Ahem why do you spend 800million dollars on nuclear weapons every year?
randall park
er because i don't wanna wake up to an american military occupation tomorrow you can relate to that right or isnt that why your government spends 19trn dollars on weapons every year ; to make their defence contractor friends happy and loyal?
james franco
why did you build #FakeMart to try and fool me?
randall park
why do american movies show prostitutes leaving in posh apartments and police detectives driving lambourghinis? of course that was only eye candy to satisfy you
james franco
now lets talk about your concentration camps(you know it would have helped to actually show a sort of CGI concentration camp?)
randall park
sure i shall talk to you about concentration camp when you talk about the 2.3 million americans you subject to puddings, expired milk and shower gangr*pe especially black people not to mention the other thousands you secretly abduct without a right to a fair trial all in the name of "terrorism"
james franco
black people like it there oops! er don't make me the enemy here what about your firing squad
randall park
well texas and a lot of conservative red states in america root for the death penalty so i don't think that should be a problem either
james franco
and you violate human rights
randall park
haha what do you think about
- your emails getting monitored
- your phone calls getting monitored
- capitalist having to dictate what you do at home and at work
-having no protesters zone for people speaking their minds
-labelled unpatriotic and condemned for not supporting your countrys regimes
james franco
Oh my God who does that?
randall park
Uh america
james franco
Hey not cool where did you get that from
randall park
The media which is also influenced by government I give you;
Operation mockingbird: CIA campaign to influence the media
Operation 25.6 million dollars a year: pay software companies to put windows in software programs and encryptions so we can monitor our citizens on social media
Operation.........
seth rogen
holy sh*t randall is saying the bitter truth about america, quick skip to commercial or some meaningless fight i'm having behind the scene
randall park
not fair why don't you guys skip to commercial when talking sh*t about other peoples country?
narrator
then seth rogen and some random asian dude start biting off fingers and sticking up butt holes with some kinda joystick
seth rogen
don't shut down the transmission even though one of the camera and lighting guys can easily turn off the camera
asian dude with joystick up his butt
but you agreed to randall's terms and you are violating it, that's not right(gets shot in the head by diana)
diana bang
he posed a threat he did nothing he was doing nothing and he was going to do nothing
seth rogen
ok that's reason enough for me now lets skip back to james and randall's interview
randall park
just admit it james you are a crappy charlie rose-esque talk show host who tried to fight a god
james franco
(sings katy perry's fire works obnoxiously)
randall park
(cries his eyes out and sh*ts his pants) oh my kryptonite a dude singing katy perry's fire works badly
james franco
why did you threaten to blow up the rest of the world
randall park
O_o dude i am randall park come on i do that all the time don't you watch the news? Besides the CIA were talking about murdering a dude in this movie who is worse off between us?
james franco
now you have sh*t your pants and cried like a baby on air i bet the korean people don't believe in you now and perhaps will start a revolution which will kill lots of them but let's just sweep that under the carpet
randall park
They will start a revolution because of an interview that was totally done in english who knows i could have been crying because of my peoples suffering man i bet my reputation will be skyrocketting by now and as for you, i have the option of seeking litigation against you for violating our agreement which everyone can bear witness to including your friends at the office and i shall bleed you out for emotional damages and if the CIA plot is revealed then score i shall have fun ragging the united states before the united nations, but instead of all that........... i shall shoot you in the chest in front of the whole world so they know just how bad sh*t crazy I really am
(shoots james in the chest and walks away with the cameras on)
To be continued..................

james franco
haha thank God the cameras weren't turned off this way i can show the world that i was wearing a bullet proof vest the whole time
audience
And where did you get a bullet proof vest?
audienceII
Can anyone really take a point blank shot with no consequence just because he is wearing a bullet proof vest?
audienceIII
What if he chose to shoot you in the head?
audienceIV
Did the paranoid korean soldiers actually find this bullet proof vest with you and not freak out?
audienceV
If you could conceal a bullet proof vest why couldn't you conceal a f*cking ricin strip?
audienceVI
Shouldn't you have given your bullet proof vest to seth rogen all this time since he is the one that had to smuggle a missile up his butt and is currently playing cannibal with hungry koreans?
james franco[\b]
uh, would you look at the time thanks for watching my show james franco signing out where's my puppy?
[b]narrator
meanwhile diana is shooting the f*ck out of her fellow korean soldiers just because they were trying to open a door
diana bang
wow i f*cked seth rogen and i'm already betraying my country? i wonder what i would have done if i f*cked someone like idris elba now time for my anti-randall faction to get activated and over power the military, ANTI-RANDALL FACTION UNITE
(a dude shows up)now the team is complete let's match forth to victory
seth rogen
you are facing the fourth largest army in the world and your only ally is a receptionist with an ak-47 rifle? i think we have over stayed our welcome, have fun with another war america caused
james franco
yea gimme the puppy lets head home to an america which has probably been nuked thanks to me

randall park
i can't believe james embarrassed me like that on tv why did he do that?
korean soldier
because he was honey d*cking you
randall park
honey d*cking? a few minutes ago he didn't have sh*t to say almost like he was asked to betray me, you know this honey d*cking/potting business is beginning to confuse everyone.
korean soldier
What's even weird is how we are minutes away from the movies climax and still no one has seen you be a jerk all you've been is likeable,hospitable and fun
randall park
holy cow you're right! Time to be a total jerk er.......let's see I'm gonna shoot you in the butt hole and if y'all are counting this should be the 5th-100th joke we are making about butt holes
korean soldier II
Sir your death awaits
randall park
What?!
korean soldierII
I mean james franco escaped
randall park
The f*ck?! Ready my chopper and arm my nukes
korean soldierII
Arm your nukes?
randall park
Yea that's right just because one dude got me to sh*t my pants on live tv I shall arm my nukes and fire them anywhere belle face because I'm crazy you see?
lizzy caplan
sitting on my hands hoping a tiger can hop out of nowhere and eat the nuclear missiles
seth rogen
That's it? Don't you have a spy that can stop the launch or a drone that can detonate the nukes in pyongyang or on transit instead?
lizzy caplan
I can pray the missiles hit a tuscan during transit will that work?
seth rogen
oh God we are doomed
narrator
the trio escape with a rusty old tank which surprisingly still works and james knows how to drive thanks to his one ride with randall even though he was outside the whole time, they are being chased by two suvs and a chopper above them with randall in it what a cliche climax
seth rogen
that's right I have the creative mind of a Playgroup pupil
randall park
fire at the tank
narrator
the chopper fires at the tank but it conveniently hits the two suvs behind the tank even though the tank made no effort to dodge the missile
audience
Care to explain
james franco
Well the tank is made of adamantium
stan lee
Ahem! That lame concept has already been occupied buddie
james franco
Fine I guess I have no explanations then
diana bang
Kill randall
james franco
Kill him? I thought violence was not the answer besides the people no longer believe in him shouldn't there at least be one positive message in this bullsh*t movie?
diana bang
F*ck that sh*t let's kill him
seth rogen
But we don't know how to load the missiles and randall is too busy arming his nukes he doesn't seem to give a sh*t about us anymore
diana bang
Less reasoning more random violence
randall park
oh the missiles missed the tank! ehn who gives a f*ck? position the chopper at the tanks target range then fire the nukes in 3,2......... oh sh*t the tanks is firing at my chopper why are there even missiles in that rusty old tank how does it not accidentally detonate its not exactly chilling in the tank(gets blown to sh*t)
diana bang
ok guys go through this tunnel that will take you away from north korea and lead you to north korea i hope no north korean soldiers are waiting for you out there now if you excuse me i have to go murder the rest of the kim family so that power falls in my hands i mean so that power doesn't fall in the wrong hands goodbye seth and franco
seth rogen
Good bye diana(shakes her hand)
james franco
really? At the start of the film you didn't mind kissing a dude not to mention you guys totally had sex a few minutes ago now you wanna be quirky and cute?
seth rogen
Yeah you're right let's kiss passionately with angry koreans on our tail
narrator
they come out of the tunnel
seth rogen
holy sh*t is more north korean soldiers
navy seals
no its just US navy seals because there's an entire unit of asian navy seals and we tracked you with this watch you are wearing because it totally has a transmitter that is always activated
seth rogen
so how did you know we were passing this tunnel?
james franco
and why did you guys charge at us like a couple of dementos?
navy seals
just shut up and get on the boat that's right our escape plan is a boat because the north korean coast guards won't be on alert to watch out for us hurry get on the boat but first lizzy caplan wants to speak to james franco who didn't smuggle a missile in his a*ss and fight to keep the tv transmission on
james franco
Hey lizzy!
lizzy caplan
OMG! It was a success this is what we shall be doing now rather than military invasions, we shall send journalists to humiliate world leaders and murder them afterwards now hurry back your next assignment should you choose to accept is west african leaders
GEJ
gulp!
seth rogen
I know our case is hopeless and there's no way we are leaving north korea alive but lets just play happy songs so the audience don't realize how f*cked up we are and we shall blame the whole kim murder and mutiny on diana bang because you know how we americans are, we don't take responsibility for our sh*t
james franco
and how will you blame diana for what she didn't start?
seth rogen
honey potting
james franco
cool that cool that so how will the movie go from here will the world take us seriously? will there be any retracts from your buddie in 90minutes or those comedians who were mocking me earlier?
seth rogen
- Well you'll get to publish your tell all which will meticulously describe your involvement in kim's murder as well as the CIA's involvement even though they didn't want their involvement known in the first place
- then I shall be seen looking serious in a tv studio with my fingers magically re-attached I guess that scene shall answer all the questions concerned with the after directions of our crappy show
james franco
What about the korean people?
- Will they finally eat something?
- will they be free from tyranny and oppression?
- will the concerntration camps be destroyed?
-will they simply smile and wave at the both of us who blatantly murdered their president?
seth rogen
Well we could give them skype? No other thing screams prosperity like skype and social media
And oh lizzy is nuts for you for no reason now
lizzy caplan
that's right guys i'm a helpless slut again because f*ck feminism every woman needs a man
AMC
what da f*ck? so you spent 75 million dollars on this crappy movie?
seth rogen
of course we did the horrible CGI and actors weren't for free you know?
AMC
and what is your plan with this movie?
seth rogen
i'm hoping to liberate the korean people with this masterpiece
AMC
let me get this straight so the korean people will be liberated by a movie(in english language) that forces american pop-culture on the koreans with the north korean norms and culture being in nowhere in the movie,then showcase their leader with so much charisma and kindness after which he is humiliated and murdered by americans from the third most hated country in the world? good luck with that mate but i ain't showing this sh*t in my cinemas though
seth rogen
why? are you scared that north korea will take action against like a thousand cinemas that will show this movie?
AMC
no i don't want a riot in my cinemas by moie viewers that want a refund and i don't want AMC to remind everyone of that crappy movie seth rogen did thereby killing my good business so f*ck off
seth rogen
OMG we spent so much money on this movie what are we going to do
AMC
you could force people to watch it by claiming that north korea threatens terrorist actions against americans who watch this movie and the catch phrase for your marketing campaign should be your freedom of speech is at stake if you don't watch this movie
seth rogen
that sounds like a good idea
AMC
i'm being sarcastic
seth rogen
time to hire guardians of peace to hack into sony servers i'm off
sony
Yes you do that
narrator
sony meets with nicholas stoller
sony
So seth rogen has made mockery of satirical comedy, he writes sh*t and expects people to watch it and one advantage he has is that he doesnot mind flushing sony's money down the toilet its been 3 f*cking projects so far 3 and this is the worst of them all, we are actually begging people to watch it for free
nicholas stoller
Why are you telling me all these?
sony
Because you are going to be on set with seth rogen for neighbours 2 congratulations anyway we would like to use this opportunity to take him out
nichollas stoller
What?
sony
Don't do the whole what do you mean by take him out routine from the interview cause I know you understand me clearly
End