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Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? - Romance - Nairaland

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Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by CHRISTEL(f): 8:46pm On Aug 28, 2006
i need your ideas on this people
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by Mrbiggies(m): 9:46pm On Aug 28, 2006
how can i make a relationship work for real nt prack and go but prack and stay ?
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by momoney1(m): 10:12pm On Aug 28, 2006
i need yours first undecided
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by Ano: 3:58am On Aug 29, 2006
communication is key whether it be by texting, email or phone.
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by iice(f): 4:11am On Aug 29, 2006
Nope i can't maintain one so i dont do them
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by crito(m): 3:12am On Aug 30, 2006
it depend on you but 4me i no fit try am again. cry kiss
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by kiki(f): 3:54am On Aug 30, 2006
iice:

Nope i can't maintain one so i don't do them

mee to gurl don't do it cos i know i can't make it work
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by rotbog(m): 8:45am On Sep 09, 2006
What if an Existing Relationship becomes a distant one by way of relocation or posting? :
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by Seyigoy(m): 12:13pm On Sep 09, 2006
I beleive long distance relationships are not meant to last. No matter how hard u squeeze a pillow its not going to squeeze u back. u need someone to do that.
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by hayprof(m): 1:15pm On Sep 09, 2006
I beleive long distance relationships are not meant to last. No matter how hard u squeeze a pillow its not going to squeeze u back. u need someone to do that.

True talk but some pple can, i can
As long as the relationship isnt new i mean like a week or twoo. u know. cool
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by Bolarge(m): 2:49pm On Sep 11, 2006
Prob'ly works for some but definitely not for me.
What becomes of the glow in her eyes? Can lengthy telephone conversations make up for the fragrance of her perfume?the soft feel of her every touch? Just holding her hands and watching the smile that lights up her pretty face. What 'bout the thrill of seeing her reel with laughter @my jokes?the mock shock on her face when I get a li'l naughty? How 'bout the", oooh stop being mischievous,I'll stop coming to your house"which she'd prob'ly have said a hundred times--
Naaaaah!!Long distance relationships aren't for pple like me.
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by kelvinO(m): 3:02pm On Sep 11, 2006
every thing is possible. it all depends on you, if you know what you truly want. and i do believe in destine.
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by CHRISTEL(f): 3:05pm On Sep 11, 2006
kelvinO:

every thing is possible. it all depends on you, if you know what you truly want. and i do believe in destine.

kissthats my boo, how good to hear your opinion kiss
      i missed u cheesy
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by fredsmith: 1:14am On Sep 12, 2006
distance doesnt mean a thing, its both of u that is important in it, as long as you understand it, distance something sometimes even makes it stronger, experience has shown it makes u miss the person so much u want to have him or her
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by Bolarge(m): 11:13am On Sep 12, 2006
fredsmith:

distance doesnt mean a thing, its both of u that is important in it, as long as you understand it, distance something sometimes even makes it stronger, experience has shown it makes u miss the person so much u want to have him or her
  Distance don't mean a thing? Well U're on your own on dt one mate! U guys saying such obviously live in "Lovitopia".
I have personally experienced(and challenged) the commitment of 3 different ladies(at different periods in my life) who were into such-2 had their fiances overseas and one had hers in another geographical zone of the country-and in the 3 instances their allegiance shifted! It took principle on my part not to take advantage of the cosy atmosphere that was subsequently created and mar what they already had going on.And I'm talking about decent,intelligent,rational ladies here.
Believe me most(if not all)women are emotionally vulnerable-I've seen that too many times-dt is what some of us men misinterprete as being gullible.Women need(and crave)that closeness;that'being there'more than U can imagine.
For ze men:How many can keep their 'U know what' zipped up while their chicks are away?Hey how many do it even when the hapless girlfriend is next door!
Pple get real! I'm aware situations do arise dt necessitate couples to be apart and I believe the following recommendations might be of help in this regard:

  1.No long distance relationship before the relationship is 6months old-hey!U guys barely know each other.         
   2.Daily verbal communication(in addition to SMS,e-mails n'what have U)
   3.Via the internet, maintain audiovisual contact- splendid use of this technology I must say.
   4.Please find a way to see each other at least every 4months.If this proves impracticable then send tangible physical and emotion-inspiring gifts--believe me this will go a long way.
   5.Above all PRAY!!

  Further comments  and additions to the above recommendations are most welcome.

2 Likes

Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by Busta(f): 11:51am On Sep 12, 2006
Long distance doesn't work. SIMPLE!
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by somegirl(f): 1:11pm On Sep 12, 2006
I think a long distance relationship can work if both really are committed and can show this commitment to their partner even over the distance. Of course, it would be also helpful to have a flat rate and headset because if it is a reaaaaly long distance, it can get very expensive just to talk regularly. Somebody has said on a daily basis --- it's just not doable under some circumstances. Besides regular contact, I would say what you need is hope, the hope that this situation is not permanent.

For myself, I consider it now a mistake which I will avoid repeating. A long lasting long distance relationship is not compatible with my need for closeness. And even his voice over the phone can't give me that for much beyond the time of the call.
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by valianty(m): 2:52pm On Sep 12, 2006
I can maintain it but I won't do it. I tried one but I realised that I was playing AWAY MATCH with another 'home based' guy. The guy won. I was left in the cold cry
Anyway, distance relationship will work if both of you sincerely want to make it work.
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by CHRISTEL(f): 3:00pm On Sep 12, 2006
hi boo i got u online today, so what gives kiss
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by kelvinO(m): 3:05pm On Sep 12, 2006
hi honey, how's my angel, miss you more.
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by tripplea27(m): 3:31pm On Sep 12, 2006
CHRISTEL:

thats true anyway
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by Free(f): 3:53pm On Sep 12, 2006
@topic

hmm long distance relationships
i cant do a lng distance
the idea of ma boo being miles aaaaway will not work grin
you cant see him when u want *whats the point* undecided




trust--you need (trust, phone cards)[i][/i] to make it work
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by somegirl(f): 4:06pm On Sep 12, 2006
Hi Rachel, let me just assume that you have an online relationship going on.  grin

You know what they say - that in the beginning of a relationship you tend to see everything through rose-colored glasses. Well, this seems to be true for online relationships as well.

But, then when the first quarrels take place, I would say an online relationship is harder because of missing body language. How can you take your boy/girl in your arms after an argument when s/he is hundreds, thousands of miles away? This makes it more difficult to the settle a dispute.

Also, when you see each other more often, it is easier to show your love with little gestures. In the beginning of a relationship, you might write "I love you", "I think of you" etc. regularly but with time you might find it unnecessary to type it on a keyboard repeatedly even though this might be the only way how to show your love for each other.

<DISCLAIMER> “That's only my personal experience and every relationship is different.” </DISCLAIMER>
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by rotbog(m): 4:39pm On Sep 12, 2006
You Mean No Body In The House Has Had A Long Distance Relationship that Worked.? cry
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by rotbog(m): 6:05pm On Sep 12, 2006
Different views of distance
How couples cope with being apart largely depends on how they feel about the separation. Here are some common interpretations:

What's the big deal? - if you were brought up in a family where absence was the norm, it may be that periods apart are no problem.

It's the thin end of the wedge - perhaps in your past someone left saying it was temporary, but didn't come back. You may see a period of separation as the beginning of the end.

If you loved me, you'd stay - love is linked to being physically near and any threat to that is also a threat to your emotional security.

But it's not for long - it might be your nature to look at life in the long term and see a bigger picture and, therefore, you may find it easier than your partner to see this as a temporary phase of your relationship.

It's just not right - if your parents were together nearly all the time, then absence may simply be beyond your experience. Being a couple means being together.

On top of your personal interpretations of the absence, each of you will have a different perspective depending on whether you're the one leaving or staying.

Away from home
If you're the one who's going away, you have the advantage of experiencing new scenery, a new job and new people, perhaps. The disadvantages, of course, are missing your home and the company of friends and family. And although there may be many new experiences, you'll have to deal with the loneliness of having no partner with you to share them. People away from home often find their emotions swing between heights of excitement and depths of longing.

Left at home
If you're the partner who's staying at home, you have the advantage of familiar surroundings and, hopefully, the support of friends and family. The downside of this is that you may feel abandoned and trapped. There are also few new experiences for you, just the humdrum of daily life and the loneliness of having to get on with it on your own.

Making it work
The key to making long-distance relationships work is to talk honestly and openly about how you feel. Couples often fall into one of the following traps:

Let's pretend it's OK - if asked how you are, you both say "I'm OK, everything's fine." Underneath you're both lonely, but are too scared to say in case the other person doesn't understand.

It's all right for you - you try to be nice when you talk, but the resentment slips out. You're both convinced your partner's having an easier time of it than you. Underneath you both want reassurance, but fear you'll be rejected.

Be honest
Share your feelings about the separation - both the positives and the negatives. This will give you the opportunity to really understand each other and give the support and reassurance you both need.

Talk about your resentment at the situation rather than at each other and look forward to the time when you're next together.

Keep communicating
Staying in touch regularly is the key to surviving a long-distance relationship.

Use a variety of ways of communicating - email, telephone, text message, letter, etc.
Send little gifts - to show how often you think of each other.
Make some surprise calls - make the odd call just to say "I love you."
Send regular pictures - this will help your partner keep a visual record of what you're up to.
Keep a diary - then share it with your partner each time you meet.
Beware the reunion anticlimax
When you get to see each other again, chances are both of you will have built up great expectations of how fantastic your reunion is going to be. However, the reality often doesn't match up to the fantasy.

Many couples feel disappointed and frustrated when things aren't as they'd hoped. You may also find that rather than making love all day there are awkward silences or even arguments.

You can prevent this by making sure you've talked about how you want the reunion to be and recognising that the anticipation is often better than the consummation! And remember, it may take time to get used to being around each other again.

Absence can make the heart grow fonder when you use the time to show your partner how much they mean to you.
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by iice(f): 6:08pm On Sep 12, 2006
So does mean you have had a sucessful long distance relationship?
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by emeka83: 3:23am On Sep 13, 2006
ask for nude pics and use the restroom grin
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by sexyboy(m): 9:43am On Sep 13, 2006
@Christel, Is Kelvin really your boo??
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by Beline(f): 2:43pm On Sep 13, 2006
All u need to make a long distance relationship work is trust even when you know he might be cheating on u, on the lady side total faithfulness is require, otherwise the guy will use ur infidelity for excuses.

I have been in a distance relationship for 7years and to God be the glory, my paddy returned last week finally to Lagos. So we are fully happy that we make it despite what people said when we started.

Lest i forgot, this relationship was just 3days old when we separated.

so try it, it may equally work for you.

good luck
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by CHRISTEL(f): 3:03pm On Sep 13, 2006
sexyboy:

@Christel, Is Kelvin really your boo??

hi sexyboy welcome back, where on earth have u been
u really don't want me to answer that question do u cheesy shocked
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by kolabode: 3:06pm On Sep 13, 2006
My best friend is having this kind of relationship for over 5years now and it's working for them, the most important thing is trust, when there is trust all the problem is solve
Re: Can U Maintain A Long Distance Relationship & What Can U Do To Make It Work? by sexyboy(m): 6:49am On Sep 14, 2006
CHRISTEL:

hi sexyboy welcome back, where on earth have u been
u really don't want me to answer that question do u cheesy shocked


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