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Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:43am On Mar 16, 2015
amokeme:
I understand exactly what am talking abt.. and if "they" want to address me as wicked, happy birthday to them cool

smiley
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:49am On Mar 16, 2015
emusmith:


Thanks bro. 100 LIKES!
Most of our wives often get too busy with work or business. Who cares for the children? Who pick them from school? Washes their uniform? Clean the compound? Mow the lawn? etc undecided

Easier said than done


I can bet you most of them who claim they can't allow relatives are:

1. single ladies who have no idea what it takes combining household chores with work

2. Single guys who fall in the same category as 1 above.

3. Married men who have no idea what their wives go through. All they do is, sit on the sofa, stretch their leg on a stool, watch channels and cnn while their wives sweat like he-goats doing household chores.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by snowhyt(f): 9:04am On Mar 16, 2015
i wouldnt mind if my husband's relation come 2 live with us parmanently, especially females... its cool hving relations in d house as long as dey are not d trouble making type

1 Like

Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 10:11am On Mar 16, 2015
rationalmind:


I can bet you most of them who claim they can't allow relatives are:

1. single ladies who have no idea what it takes combining household chores with work

2. Single guys who fall in the same category as 1 above.

3. Married men who have no idea what their wives go through. All they do is, sit on the sofa, stretch their leg on a stool, watch channels and cnn while their wives sweat like he-goats doing household chores.


So True!
They don't really know until they get to the "bridge"
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 10:14am On Mar 16, 2015
snowhyt:
i wouldnt mind if my husband's relation come 2 live with us parmanently, especially females... its cool hving relations in d house as long as dey are not d trouble making type

Yea, as long as they know their place and be friendly smiley

It's not suppose to be a big deal.
I believe others staying with us will keep the house busy and lively.

Imagine my quiet self in my Study with just my wife and kids... No one to discuss football, politics and education with apart from wife or hubby? Haba
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 10:21am On Mar 16, 2015
Kachisbarbie:


Very true o.
The last time I was in this position ehn, they tabled my matter for village. They said I am using all my husband's money to buy shoes.


How many pairs kwanu? Just like 80 grin
Lol.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by snowhyt(f): 11:09am On Mar 16, 2015
emusmith:


Yea, as long as they know their place and be friendly smiley

It's not suppose to be a big deal.
I believe others staying with us will keep the house busy and lively.

Imagine my quiet self in my Study with just my wife and kids... No one to discuss football, politics and education with apart from wife or hubby? Haba
the kids will also get tired of seeing just mummy and daddy... also when parents are not around, d relative can hlp in taking care of d kids
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 12:50pm On Mar 16, 2015
snowhyt:
the kids will also get tired of seeing just mummy and daddy... also when parents are not around, d relative can hlp in taking care of d kids

Yea, so true smiley
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by angiemartinez(f): 3:05pm On Mar 16, 2015
Like wat am facing right now, we agreed not to av permanent family members . His brother came to write jamb and they want to make it parmanent with style. No more privacy as he must hear everything during morning devotions. Abeg it's not good jare.am waiting to tell hubby that time is up,
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 3:24pm On Mar 16, 2015
angiemartinez:
Like wat am facing right now, we agreed not to av permanent family members . His brother came to write jamb and they want to make it parmanent with style. No more privacy as he must hear everything during morning devotions. Abeg it's not good jare.am waiting to tell hubby that time is up,

Lol... Please don't do anything silly. sad
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by kandiikane(m): 1:29am On Mar 17, 2015
AndreRose:
Its said that too much familiarity leads to negligence. At a time insult and disrespect will creep in. The house wil turn from sweet to bitter. And this can be caused by misunderstanding and who should be giving the "lions share" and as well jealousy of what and how lovely the husband treats the wife an vice versa. At a time the girls sis might start seducing the husband, and from there a lot of trouble will stir up.
Even the sex life of the couple will be curtailed too. They might not be as wild as they planned to.lol
They are free to pay a visit but to stay permanently? No way!
who, what said?

Breeds contempt?
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by AndreRose(f): 8:15am On Mar 17, 2015
kandiikane:

who, what said?

Breeds contempt?
well, I might be mistaken in writing negligence instead of contempt. But when I wrote the negligence I saw it as contempt.
Once you relate too much with some persons they tend to neglect you and see you as someone who weighs nothing. Am just speaking from experience that's all.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by sweetcocoa(f): 8:17am On Mar 17, 2015
No live-in relatives for me.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:54am On Mar 17, 2015
No live-in relatives. We agreed before we tied the knot. They can only visit.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 11:38am On Mar 17, 2015
rationalmind:
Majority of those who have commented before me have conveniently highlighted the disadvantages and left out the advantages.

Let's not deceive ourselves, we all need each other.

I live with a young couple myself, they both come back from work late at night and meet food on the table. The wife only cooks on Saturdays and Sundays. They need not bother about ironing their clothes which I do without being told, I sweep the house, clean the house, fetch water, wash the dishes, fuel the gen, and almost every other household chore you can think of. Did I tell you I also go to work just like them and come back very tired? Yes, they can get a maid. Need I remind you of the magodo maid? That apart, won't the maid also appear as an intruder? Won't the lack of privacy still be there?

As much as I need their accommodation and might one way or the other inconvenience them, as far as I'm concerned, they also need me.

So, before you talk of the lack of privacy and all that, remember you also need that cousin, that nephew, and that niece who wants to come and stay with you.

You spoke like a relative who knows his or her duties.

Just add staying out of the couple's way sometimes and you are perfect.

I would not like a live in relative for a long period of time.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by K9blunt(f): 1:15pm On Mar 17, 2015
emusmith:



Do you presume it's your decision to make?

What if your hubby is the first and younger ones all depend financially on him? They have no place to stay while he has a duplex.

His mum says they should live with him, what will be your reaction?
if he can afford a duplex, he then can afford to rent an apartment for his extended family.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 1:33pm On Mar 17, 2015
K9blunt:
if he can afford a duplex, he then can afford to rent an apartment for his extended family.

Can only you occupy all the rooms in the duplex? undecided
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 1:35pm On Mar 17, 2015
bukatyne:


You spoke like a relative who knows his or her duties.

Just add staying out of the couple's way sometimes and you are perfect.

I would not like a live in relative for a long period of time.

Including yours right?
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by K9blunt(f): 1:40pm On Mar 17, 2015
emusmith:


Can only you occupy all the rooms in the duplex? undecided
no but I can suggest a small bungalow to accommodate me, my husband, and kids. marriage is not for extended families and a duplex is not a do or die affair.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by kputus: 3:12pm On Mar 17, 2015
What if he had one or two siblings living with him before the marriage, when then happens to them?
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 5:57pm On Mar 17, 2015
emusmith:


Including yours right?

Yes including mine.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 5:58pm On Mar 17, 2015
kputus:
What if he had one or two siblings living with him before the marriage, when then happens to them?

The wife knew he had live ins before they got married
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Agrika: 6:48pm On Mar 17, 2015
rationalmind:
Majority of those who have commented before me have conveniently highlighted the disadvantages and left out the advantages.

Let's not deceive ourselves, we all need each other.

I live with a young couple myself, they both come back from work late at night and meet food on the table. The wife only cooks on Saturdays and Sundays. They need not bother about ironing their clothes which I do without being told, I sweep the house, clean the house, fetch water, wash the dishes, fuel the gen, and almost every other household chore you can think of. Did I tell you I also go to work just like them and come back very tired? Yes, they can get a maid. Need I remind you of the magodo maid? That apart, won't the maid also appear as an intruder? Won't the lack of privacy still be there?

As much as I need their accommodation and might one way or the other inconvenience them, as far as I'm concerned, they also need me.

So, before you talk of the lack of privacy and all that, remember you also need that cousin, that nephew, and that niece who wants to come and stay with you.
Be true and admit, they are times when u are so fed-up and wish u were not a mere "tenant" and probably had a house of ur own where u can be the one and only Oga...and they are times when the couples just need an "alone" time but they can't because "this boy is here"

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Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by tinnywhinny: 2:10am On Mar 18, 2015
How many pairs kwanu? Just like 80 grin[/i][/quote]. you just took it orijin right?
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:00am On Mar 18, 2015
bukatyne:


You spoke like a relative who knows his or her duties.

Just add staying out of the couple's way sometimes and you are perfect.

I would not like a live in relative for a long period of time.

Yeah, sure. I do stay out of their way.

I read the post of someone who said their live-in relative knows everything going on in the house due to his presence during morning devotion and I smiled.

While my cousin quarrels with me I don't partake in morning devotion and vigil (they occasionally organise vigil in the house), the wife perhaps is happy I'm not privy to their secrets.

That poster just gave me more reasons to avoid the vigils and devotions. It's perhaps the best way to stay out of their way cheesy
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:07am On Mar 18, 2015
Agrika:

Be true and admit, they are times when u are so fed-up and wish u were not a mere "tenant" and probably had a house of ur own where u can be the one and only Oga...and they are times when the couples just need an "alone" time but they can't because "this boy is here"

Alone time? In a three bedroom apartment where I occupy just one room? Even the sitting room is theirs as I don't think I stay there for more than 45 minutes everyday excluding Sundays.

You might be right though, I just seriously doubt it.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Agrika: 8:11am On Mar 18, 2015
rationalmind:


Alone time? In a three bedroom apartment where I occupy just one room? Even the sitting room is theirs as I don't think I stay there for more than 45 minutes everyday excluding Sundays.

You might be right though, I just seriously doubt it.
But no matter what, they are times when they feel u more or less shouldn't be there, maybe hubby wants to try out that new style wt wifey in d parlour or kitchen or wifey wants to wear that sexy top and bum short she bought to show-off to Oga but can't cos ds "boy dey house", u dont know when he might just walk in.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:25am On Mar 18, 2015
@rationalmind,u make sense very well by avoiding morning devotions.
That way,u won't really know what happening much in their lives.

Wish others can emulate u and stop poke nosing.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:25am On Mar 18, 2015
Agrika:

But no matter what, they are times when they feel u more or less shouldn't be there, maybe hubby wants to try out that new style wt wifey in d parlour or kitchen or wifey wants to wear that sexy top and bum short she bought to show-off to Oga but can't cos ds "boy dey house", u dont know when he might just walk in.

Yea, the bolded is true.

The wife hardly wears any revealing outfit around the house. I think one can't separate the fact I'm around from it. I doubt she'll wear same stuffs had it been rationalmind doesn't stay with them.

I wonder which one she'll choose though, walking half nak.ed in the house and rushing to the kitchen after getting home some minutes before 10p.m to prepare food for the hubby while the husband fetches water after coming back at same time or dressing moderately inside the house while she has someone who relieves her of such duties.

Your guess is as good as mine.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 8:31am On Mar 18, 2015
moca:
@rationalmind,u make sense very well by avoiding morning devotions.
That way,u won't really know what happening much in their lives.

Wish others can emulate u and stop poke nosing.

Absolutely true. Things I know are things they want me to know.
Re: Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 9:35pm On Mar 18, 2015
rationalmind:


Yeah, sure. I do stay out of their way.

I read the post of someone who said their live-in relative knows everything going on in the house due to his presence during morning devotion and I smiled.

While my cousin quarrels with me I don't partake in morning devotion and vigil (they occasionally organise vigil in the house), the wife perhaps is happy I'm not privy to their secrets.

That poster just gave me more reasons to avoid the vigils and devotions. It's perhaps the best way to stay out of their way cheesy

The CV (your signature ) back wire.

Weldone and God bless you

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