A friend of mine who is about getting married, told her fiancé that she wanted a registry wedding , knowing that registry wedding makes her a legal wife and prohibits a man from taking a second wife. The man refused and said that it is only a few people who don't trust their partner that is having a registry wedding. What do you think, what should the lady do.

The man is obviously wrong as a lot of people are having their registrywedding, see for yourself at http://MyRegistryWedding.com

heartofgold44:
A friend of mine who is about getting married, told her fiancé that she wanted a registry wedding , knowing that registry wedding makes her a legal wife and prohibits a man from taking a second wife. The man refused and said that it is only a few people who don't trust their partner that is having a registry wedding. What do you think, what should the lady do.

The man is obviously wrong as a lot of people are having their registrywedding, see for yourself at http://MyRegistryWedding.com

If I were her, I would cut my losses and move on. The very fact he is refusing to do a registry wedding tells you she will be entering 1 chance. Let her wait for someone that she has more compatible ideologies with

because he is muslim. Muslim men are entitled to a maximum of 4 wives at a time.

So what should the lady do? The man is not a Muslim o. This is causing serious problem. The lady is still insisting on registrywedding. Pls she needs your advice.

1. He doesnt have to wear a ring
2. He can leave the marriage easily
3. He can marry more than one woman
4. He can claim that he is a single guy whenever he wants to
5. There will be no equal distribution of matimonial property when he divorce

Moana I totally agree with you but what should the lady do?

Registry or no registry,if d man wants to cheat he'll cheat,my colleague's husband impregnated a lady exactly a year after their wedding,she told me even if she divorce him,wot dos d jobless man has for court to give her,and if court jail d man she'll just end up being a single mom,let's just pray God gives us peace of mind in our marriage. God's Grace is all we need not registry marriage. My opinion though

Na wa o. Women, get the right knowledge. Court wedding doesn't prevent a man from getting a second wife. It prevents him from getting a second 'legal' wife under the law. He can choose to marry her under traditional law. Court marriage also prevents the woman from being manhandled when certain things happen as long as she is the legal wife.

heartofgold44:
The man refused and said that it is only a few people who don't trust their partner that is having a registry wedding.

Huh? The only person having trust issues here is the man. She had better insist. If he still says no, she had better move on.
I know it's easier said than done.

Even my great grandmother who married in 1930's did court marriage.
How then can a woman get married in 2015 and not make sure her marriage is registered?

Moana:

5. There will be no equal distribution of matimonial property when he divorce

so if it was the man that made most of the money then the woman gets a good part of it?


you are a big joke.

Avalon316:


so if it was the man that made most of the money then the woman gets a good part of it?


you are a big joke.

you know the meaning of equal?

lf he is against it ,move on. l know if someone tells him to present a registry issued marriage certificate to help him process a US Visa na him go dey beg you make una do am sharp, sharp!

NifemiOlu:
Na wa o. Women, get the right knowledge. Court wedding doesn't prevent a man from getting a second wife. It prevents him from getting a second 'legal' wife under the law. He can choose to marry her under traditional law. Court marriage also prevents the woman from being manhandled when certain things happen as long as she is the legal wife.

If he marries another woman traditionally, he can still b sued 4 bigamy

Joy1706:

If he marries another woman traditionally, he can still b sued 4 bigamy

2011
THISDAY can report today that the state House of Assembly has silently amended the Lagos State Criminal Code and expunged bigamy from its statutes. The state Attorney General and Commissioner for Justice, Mr. Adeola Ipaye, confirmed the development, saying the old law was no longer useful.

Ipaye said it became necessary to remove bigamy because the state government found out that there was no need to criminalise the offence.

He nevertheless said bigamy would now be treated as a civil offence and such a marriage would simply be dissolved without any criminal proceedings being instituted against the offender.

My submission is, if bigamy carries no criminal offence but a civil offence, how does court marriage deter men from taking another woman outside the legal marriage?

NifemiOlu:


2011
THISDAY can report today that the state House of Assembly has silently amended the Lagos State Criminal Code and expunged bigamy from its statutes. The state Attorney General and Commissioner for Justice, Mr. Adeola Ipaye, confirmed the development, saying the old law was no longer useful.

Ipaye said it became necessary to remove bigamy because the state government found out that there was no need to criminalise the offence.

He nevertheless said bigamy would now be treated as a civil offence and such a marriage would simply be dissolved without any criminal proceedings being instituted against the offender.

My submission is, if bigamy carries no criminal offence but a civil offence, how does court marriage deter men from taking another woman outside the legal marriage?

That's just for lagos isn't it?

Joy1706:

That's just for lagos isn't it?

nigeria law

Read this, and judge for yourself if registering of one's marriage it's important or not.


Soraya, 28, is from Birmingham and studying pharmacy

“The first time his family asked for my hand in marriage was during my exams. I wasn’t ready for that commitment during such a stressful time, so they agreed to come back. Like me he was educated, brought up in Britain and practiced law. He sounded liberal and I thought we had something in common. So I said yes. I had no idea what I was letting myself in for.

Following a short engagement, we had a traditional Islamic wedding. The Muslim priest came to my house and married us and then I was taken to the groom’s home to complete the ceremony. We both signed a Muslim marriage certificate. That’s how people ‘tie the knot’ Islamically. My parents assumed at some point we would legally register the marriage in order for it to be recognised by British law. That never happened. When I got married, I expected to be with my husband for the rest of my life. I expected a normal relationship between a husband and a wife.

The trouble started when I wanted to pursue my pharmacy career which I’ve always dreamed of. Prior to the marriage, my parents discussed this with his parents and he was made fully aware of my intention to study. He agreed, but once we were married and I started applying to universities, he wasn’t happy. Instead of enrolling, I decided to defer for a year to give him time to think about it. He didn’t change his mind, so I applied for my degree without his permission. During enrollment, I stated my marital status as ‘married’. As standard procedure of proof of identity, the university requested a British civil marriage certificate. I didn’t have one.

Emotional and financial investment

I asked my husband to provide me with a civil marriage certificate but he told me we didn’t need one. He said although our Muslim marriage was ‘common-law’, it was legally recognised. Unconvinced, I did some research and realised we had to register the marriage at a registry office in order for it to be legal. The certificate given to me by the Muslim priest was invalid in the eyes of the law. Had I not enrolled at university, I would have been none the wiser. I asked him to officially register our marriage, but he refused.

My dad had invested over £7,000 in our marriage in terms of the ceremony and gifts. He paid for my gold and gave us household appliances. He also gave us money to refurbish the house because it was in a terrible state. My husband boasted he’d bought us a nice place in London, but it was absolutely disgusting. It was dirty, totally bare and infested with mice. It was an empty shell - a complete tip. The day after we got married, he went to work and left me all alone. I cleaned the entire house and painted it. I decorated it and furnished it with my dad’s money plus my wages from shop work which was tiding me over until I went to university. He didn’t help me whatsoever and told me I was lucky to have a house at all.

Initially he paid the mortgage and most of the bills. I always paid for the food. When I started my shop work he expected me to pay half the mortgage even though his salary was over £40,000 and I was on £6 per hour. I simply couldn’t afford it. Although we were supposedly married, he lived like he was still single. We hardly saw each other because he was ‘on duty’ most nights. He also suggested I look after his mother in Birmingham while he lived in London during the week, so we would only see each other at weekends. I said no. He forbade me to go to university and the fighting continued. His behaviour became threatening. He turned violent and put his hands around my neck. Once he even tried to push me down the stairs.

Family feud

Neither of our parents knew what was happening, but I couldn’t take it anymore. Eventually I told them that he refused to register the marriage and how he’d completely changed. It was as if he had a split personality. At first they didn’t believe me and my mum encouraged me to make the marriage work. It didn’t take her long to realise I was going through hell. I only wanted him to meet me half way, but he never compromised. I asked myself if I could take this for the rest of my life and have his children.

We had a big family meeting in Birmingham. My dad lost his temper and my husband got up and left the house. He’d returned to London with his family and I stayed in Birmingham with mine. After giving him a couple of days to cool down, I went back to London, put my key in the lock, but couldn’t get into the house. How can a husband lock his wife out of their home? I told the police my husband had changed the locks. They said it was a civil matter and that I had to sort it out myself. I felt so helpless. I had no choice but to leave all my belongings behind and go back to Birmingham.

I pleaded with my husband to sort things out and asked him whether we had a future. He was still adamant that I shouldn’t go to university, but I wasn’t prepared to give that up. I no longer trusted him and couldn’t imagine having a family with him. I knew we had no future whatsoever. It was over. The police accompanied me to my home and my husband looked on while I collected my things. He arranged for a total stranger to drop off the remainder of my belongings.

No help

My dad hired a solicitor which cost £5,000. Even though my solicitor was threatened by my husband’s family, the case still reached the courts. The judge threw it out because my marriage wasn’t recognized by British law and I therefore wasn’t entitled to anything. I went to the Shari’ah Council and they couldn’t help me either. My mum sought help at several mosques, but there wasn’t anything anybody could do. I still haven’t been compensated for what I’ve lost and it’s unlikely I ever will be. I had no idea my marriage would end like this. As a legal practitioner, he knew exactly what he was doing and led me to believe that our marriage was legal. I didn’t have a leg to stand on.

After the marriage ended I was quite depressed. It hasn’t been easy for my family either. I’ve lost a lot of time and money and I could’ve qualified as a pharmacist sooner. The worst thing was being deceived from day one, entering into a marriage which I thought was legal. After everything I’d invested in the relationship - emotionally and financially, I thought I’d be entitled to something, but he didn’t even care. He was happy to see me walk away with nothing.

Although I’ve picked myself up and moved on, I’ll never forget it. It will always be at the back of my mind. It’s been a struggle, but my family has supported me throughout. I’ve had to show the community I don’t need him and that I’m strong enough to come through this. I will qualify as a pharmacist next year.”

Pls don't let anyone deceive you, get your marriage registered so it can be recognized by the law in case of any eventuality

Any man that refuses registry wedding has a hidden agenda, that's my 2cent

ladies of nowadays are thieves. They trap their man in the coffin of so called registry and later turn out to be fraud. Have experienced many women telling their husbands they are legal wives and must have a share of the man properties if he tries divorce despite their wayward acts. I CAN NEVER...... Registry is for poor men with no wealth.

heartofgold44:
knowing that registry wedding makes her a legal wife and prohibits a man from taking a second wife The man refused and said that it is only a few people who don't trust their partner that is having a registry wedding. What do you think, what should the lady do.

Does registry wedding preclude divorce? If he wants a second wife and the courts won't allow, he can simply divorce her and move on with his life. Tell your friend to stop looking at the man's assets. We live in equality today, she should hustle and make her own money.

heartofgold44:
Any man that refuses registry wedding has a hidden agenda, that's my 2cent

Any woman that insists on registry wedding has a hidden agenda as well. That's a fact.

heartofgold44:
A friend of mine who is about getting married, told her fiancé that she wanted a registry wedding , knowing that registry wedding makes her a legal wife and prohibits a man from taking a second wife. The man refused and said that it is only a few people who don't trust their partner that is having a registry wedding. What do you think, what should the lady do.

The man is obviously wrong as a lot of people are having their registrywedding, see for yourself at http://MyRegistryWedding.com

If ur friend doesn't have any sketchy intentions, or an ulterior motive, why is she insisting on a registry wedding? I presume she want to use it as a bait, which bespeaks distrust. Why wed someone u don't trust? If a woman truly loves her man, what's wrong with d conventional traditional & church wedding..

Traditional & church weddings are recognised world wide, why insisting on a registry wedding?

I perceive mistrust...

Joy1706:

If he marries another woman traditionally, he can still b sued 4 bigamy

It doesn't cost much to divorce so whether there is registry marriage or not, the man can walk away when ever he likes. Separation for 3 years is automatic divorce in Nigeria law whether the woman want it or not, so I don't know why women make so much noise about registry marriage like the man cannot just move out of the matrimonial home and live alone.

2good:

so I don't know why women make so much noise about registry marriage like the man cannot just move out of the matrimonial home and live alone.

Na property scheming tins na. You think Nigerian women don't make plans before wedding? Ever noticed how divorce rate in Nigeria rose with the increase in court marriage rates?

Timbuktou:


Na property scheming tins na. You think Nigerian women don't make plans before wedding? Ever noticed how divorce rate in Nigeria rose with the increase in court marriage rates?

How much property can they steal from men? Men are not so stupid in Nigeria and the legal system is not as biased as it is in the west.

NifemiOlu:


2011
THISDAY can report today that the state House of Assembly has silently amended the Lagos State Criminal Code and expunged bigamy from its statutes. The state Attorney General and Commissioner for Justice, Mr. Adeola Ipaye, confirmed the development, saying the old law was no longer useful.

Ipaye said it became necessary to remove bigamy because the state government found out that there was no need to criminalise the offence.

He nevertheless said bigamy would now be treated as a civil offence and such a marriage would simply be dissolved without any criminal proceedings being instituted against the offender.

My submission is, if bigamy carries no criminal offence but a civil offence, how does court marriage deter men from taking another woman outside the legal marriage?

It doesn't mean he can't be sued, it just means he won't go to jail. And frankly it is absurd to jail someone for such things.

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2good:


It doesn't cost much to divorce so whether there is registry marriage or not, the man can walk away when ever he likes. Separation for 3 years is automatic divorce in Nigeria law whether the woman want it or not, so I don't know why women make so much noise about registry marriage like the man cannot just move out of the matrimonial home and live alone.

As long as he moves out and leaves the house 4 me. No wahala naw. But he definitely cannot bring another woman into our house as his wife

Joy1706:

As long as he moves out and leaves the house 4 me. No wahala naw. But he definitely cannot bring another woman into our house as his wife

He doesn't have to build a house neither does he have to pay your rent when he moves out of the house. It is a different case when children are involved plus you have no higher right to the children than him.

2good:


How much property can they steal from men? Men are not so stupid in Nigeria and the legal system is not as biased as it is in the west.

Not too sure, but I vaguely remember reading that a third of the assets go the wife(and/or lower earning spouse) in the event of a divorce in Nigeria.

Even a church wouldn't marry you without getting registry papers.

Without the official marriage certificate, what will the woman use as the basis for her change of name? What will she use to support her marital status when applying for a visa?

I suspect the man is already married legally to another woman, hence his hesitation to do the registry wedding. She should investigate his motives properly before entering one chance.