The Business Of Relationships - Romance - Nairaland
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I Am Tired Of Relationships And Marriages Nowadays !!!! / Reasons Why Ladies Make It Difficult To Get Under Their Pants In Relationships / Reasons Why Many Guys Insist On Getting Into Ladies' Pants In Relationships (2) (3) (4)
| The Business Of Relationships by Austyn44(m): 10:34am On Apr 10, 2015 |
Relationships these days have evolved from a selfless and unconditional loving one to mind games and manipulation of partners. A situation where each party wants to trick the other into becoming what he/she wants while remaining resistant to any change. You hear things like my babe doesn't want to change? Are you APC? And before you know it your relationship ends as if it works with tiger head finger batteries. In view of the above, I will like to borrow a leaf or two from my business class to be applied to relationships. Take a few minutes to think of the tedious process involved in getting a job with a very good company, all the series of tests and interviews and signing of contacts one has to undergo before becoming an employee of such firms. If only it will stop at that but no! The process continues as your performance is constantly evaluated and most times test and interviews are written to get promoted. If either as an employer or employee, one will take the stress to go through these processes to get the right employee or job then shouldn't we be more careful in getting in to relationships and "relating " well in our relationships so as to avoid ending up in "situationships"? Here are a few things I think we should take note of in our quest for a good relationship PLEASE NOTE that these are not in any way laws or must dos but my opinion 1. Due Diligence: a process of assessing your "toaster" or the "toasted" to determine compatibility not necessarily similarities cos sometimes opposites attracts. The same way investors like Warren Buffet won't invest in an company without determining how viable it is so also should we evaluate the person we intend to share our life with. 2. There should be a proposal and an acceptance. Eg. We have been friends for quite a while, I will like us to take it to the next level. Would you be my lady? This is to avoid disappointments ( a situation where expectations are not equal to reality) and assumption of a relationship status that is not shared by both parties. Where a "friendzonee" guy thinks he is in a relationship with "friendzoner" lady. 3. State your dos and don'ts from the beginning such as no Sex, no wife or husband duties etc as it will serve as the terms and conditions both parties have agreed to live and love by except of course it is reviewed and changed by both parties later. 4. Both of you should sit down and do an evaluation of the relationship either quarterly, biannually or once a year. This evaluation should include : A. How have your partner performed so far on the scale of 1 to 10 B. What are the things he/she is doing right and the things he/she is doing wrong? C. Are you better off as a result of the relationship? ( spiritually, physically, socially, financially, emotionally, academically and so on). It's called the value added question. D. Have you made your partner a better person and in what ways? This means you have actually studied your partner to know his weaknesses and care enough to help him or her work it through. Things like helping her work out/ registering her in a gym to manage her weight or helping him to plan and save his money. E. Agree on the changes needed to make your relationship a better one. Maybe more dates, romantic moments, daily devotions together, etc The evaluation process ensures communication and makes sure both of you are on the same page cos everyone wants and can become a better lover. 5. Review your terms and conditions and make sure you live and love by them. Finally Do as you want your partner as you want them to do to you All these are to be done from a caring and loving perspective and not to be used as a manipulative tool or pressure mounting exercise. Thanks for Reading. Awaiting your inputs.  7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by justmag(m): 10:43am On Apr 10, 2015 |
OP is absolutely right! Everyone should read this. This makes alot of sense. The better you kno the person you are with...the greater the lifespan of that relationship. Too many people assume they are in a great relationship with or without titles of bf and gf. The terms and conditions should be well established, and this should be followed by a good level of understanding. Don't assume you both understand each other when all you are doing is guessing games. Evolve people! Evolve!! 2 Likes |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Austyn44(m): 3:51pm On Apr 10, 2015 |
justmag: Thanks bro. Nice one |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Austyn44(m): 12:56am On May 13, 2015 |
Cc MRBrownJ lalasticlala farano, Blackett, missclasssy, Twaci, cococandy ,SAMBARRY , SAMBARRY, naijaboiy , ishilove, enegod, origin101, tallesty1, MizMyColi, Kachisbarbie, Truckpusher, Dechandel, ronald4lif, emusmith, Lailerh, tosyne2much  |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by ronald4lif(m): 2:02am On May 13, 2015 |
Nice one op. I have always maintained that a relationship is like a contractual business. Just like in a business, relationship have liabilities, asset, goals and generally individualist interest. Business corporations and enterprise have same. When one decide to embark on a relationship they should duly note what their partners interest are and make it a principle and obligation to uphold it at every phase of the relationship. Any dereliction of agreement would be consequential to the sustainability of the relationship. It's very okay to hide under the cloak of love while this business partnership sails on but our partners interest should always be a task that guide us and must be fulfilled. I agree intending love-birds, couple should set out their business-interest and goals, tender it on the table for the endorsement or disapproval of their partner before deciding to embark on a relationship. If the terms and condition is not satisfactory to both party they can decide to amend the clauses or call it off at the initial stages. No one should cry wolf when and if a partner abandons them for another partner. It's either they got a better and juicy offer or it was that they failed to keep to their own pact of the business contract. Just like a business-partnership, when a shareholder get a more juicy offer they switch tent, so it's a relationship. The guideline should be enjoy the benefits whilst it last. People shouldn't let their emotions overwhelm their reasoning and no one should manipulate you with the love contrivances. One should atleast apply their brains if they must love. The love in the relationship is the goals and interest and when they are no more sustainable the love dwindles. Permit me to borrow your crafted lexicon "situationship". That perfectly describes it all. 1 Like |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by MRBrownJ: 3:57am On May 13, 2015 |
@Austyn44 although you are absolutely right, you have to remember that all what you wrote demands TIME, and therefore when you spend quality time with someone, you will unknowingly, and sometimes unwillingly, fall for that person (even though they may not have all what you require/desire in a partner). women are more prone to that because they are driven by their emotions, while most of us men would use our brains to evaluate such situation/partner. but then again, would you say that women are wrong to let their emotions take over? if you feel that you love someone, shouldnt you disregard all the red flags in order to live that "love"? are you willing to settle for less in any way? would you say no to love because your #1 to #5 was not present? i think that, as much as your points are like the "blueprint" on how to put all the chances in your corner to possibly have a successful union, you sometimes have to accept that nobody is perfect, and a 3/5 is "manageable". 1 Like |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Tallesty1(m): 6:53am On May 13, 2015 |
Relationship these days is just like gambling. Many will still fail to learn after reading this because they are only interested in what their itchy ears want to hear. Anything outside that is like pouring water on a stone. First thing first, dating a lady or guy simply because you love him or her is the height of foolishness because relationship these days is no longer hinged on love, rather it is hinged on convenience. Secondly, love at first sight is a scam. Personally it takes me weeks or maybe months to approach a lady for relationship, not because I am scared or anything but because I don't want to pour fire on myself. Learning and understanding a person takes time and it is better done when the person has no idea that you are interested in him or her. Get to know them. When you approach a lady and she accepts or when a guy approach you and you accept, don't just allow the initial feeling to clog your reasoning. Take time to study him or her. Ask them their likes and dislikes and things they can never tolerate in a relationship. If their likes are your dislikes then your flat azz is in problem. Finally, if you are with a new person, try to make him or her your good friend so that when the relationship steps on aboki man's poo, the friendship will be there to clean it up. 1 Like |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Twaci(f): 7:41am On May 13, 2015 |
Nice one OP! The comparing of relationships to business is quite intelligent and would be very productive if we all calm down and apply everything u have stated up there. 1 Like |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by MizMyColi(f): 7:58am On May 13, 2015 |
 Tallesty1: |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by MizMyColi(f): 8:03am On May 13, 2015 |
I would write a rejoinder, but Tallesty1 has said it all. Nice points OP. |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Nobody: 8:53am On May 13, 2015 |
@Op, this makes sense. I'd love to add few important features of relationships that aligns with business ethos. Tolerance: Just like in relationships, Intolerance for failure in business is bad. It can lead to risk phobia: “Don’t take initiatives. Don't try new ideas. Hide your mistakes!” Issuing a decree of zero tolerance for mistakes in businesses and relationships will not prevent them from happening. It will only cause people to hide the mistakes that do occur. On the flip side, tolerance for failure is not always good either, because it can often lower the bar. The proper intent of tolerance for failure is not to provide greater leniency or make requirements less demanding. Just 'cause people are given the right to make mistakes doesn't mean the eraser should be allowed to wear out faster than the pencil. Input: Everyone wants to offer suggestions and ideas. Deny employees and your partner the opportunity to make suggestions, or shoot their ideas down without consideration, and you create robots - this has been the bane of most businesses and relationships. Robots don't care unless we're talking about the movie Almost Human Just like in business, make it easy for your partner to offer suggestions. When an idea doesn't have merit, take the time to explain why. You can't implement every idea, but you can always make your partner feel valued for his/her ideas. Then we also have Understanding, Goals, Future, Love and Trust to consider too, all these are in one way or the other related to business ethos. I wish I could expound them now, but I've got limited time, I'm at work. Once again, this is a great thread Op. |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Austyn44(m): 9:43am On May 13, 2015 |
As usual Mr ronald4lif never disappoints. Your contribution was wonderful. Thank you bro. |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by ronald4lif(m): 10:00am On May 13, 2015 |
Austyn44: You're welcome bro. You did a great job up there and I'm really impressed with all the follow-up comments. Very riveting and fascinating input. Looking forward for more contributions. |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Austyn44(m): 11:52am On May 13, 2015 |
MRBrownJ: Bros. Am happy you took out time to contribute. You are right, it takes time to know someone and emotions can easily cloud our judgement but I believe focusing on the bigger picture and the future is a way to choose reasoning over emotions most times. Afterall emotions themselves sometimes behave like chemicals changing when exposed to different conditions. Btw, how did you come to have such good understanding of relationship? You are good! |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Austyn44(m): 11:56am On May 13, 2015 |
Tallesty1: ...And the tallesty1 has spoken! you sabi |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Austyn44(m): 11:57am On May 13, 2015 |
MizMyColi: Looking forward to it. Thanks |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Austyn44(m): 12:17pm On May 13, 2015 |
AirborneLacer: Thanks boss. You have successfully killed 2 birds with 1 stone. (business and relationship) thumbs up |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Nobody: 12:18pm On May 13, 2015 |
Austyn44: You deserve the kudos more for being this creative. |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by Nobody: 12:35pm On May 13, 2015 |
The idea of Relationships being handled as business partnerships sounds plausible, but it leaves much more to be desired. First, what would be the outcome or benefits or the reason behind seeing romantic relationships as business deals? Does it prevent divorce? Is business partnerships not dissolvable? Despite business ventures and deals, are there no conflicts or disagreements still? Do all parties still hold up their end of bargains? This idea sounds like one devoid of romantic gestures, devoid of element of mystery and surprises and makes relationships seem like one of roles, rules and regulations. And did I read someone compare romantic relationships to shareholders and stakeholders ? Are parties bond holders as well. ? As for me; it sounds like drawing up papers for pre-nuptials and division of assets and equities and defining collaterals in case dissolution of partnership (or marriage where to fail. Afterall, when you draw up business contracts and sign those contracts, you are in fact, preparing for eventual collapse of the so called deal and outlining consequences and division strategies of accumulated wealth and property etc. How romantic.....NOT. Should one then start presenting the 'ring' and 'paper contract' when proposing marriage? Let's not do away with romance and the magic of falling in love, being in love, fighting in love, differing in love and making up in love-- |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by MRBrownJ: 4:53pm On May 13, 2015 |
Austyn44: it is not easy for all to stay focus on the bigger picture/future, especially when you have all these issues going through your mind. before you meet someone, what you require/desire from a partner is one thing (we all have our lists well made up), but the minute you meet a certain person that you care for and you are overwhelmed by emotions etc, its another thing completely... and you may feel that this person has other attributes which will make you overlook a few things from your list. Btw, how did you come to have such good understanding of relationship? You are good! bro, i am still a learner from this r/ship game because if/when you think you know women, you underestimate them and then here comes another one to either blow your mind or have you shake your head in disbelief. |
| Re: The Business Of Relationships by MRBrownJ: 5:19pm On May 13, 2015 |
Tallesty1: bro, are you saying that we shouldnt base our desires on what works for US? dont you think that "someone who never failed in love can (often) never appreciate love"? anyone who follows any guidelines in LOVE, and subsequently prevent themselves from doing what their heart longs for, will live a very miserable life (although possibly perfect to outside viewers). you must ALWAYS follow your heart, unless that heart makes you do things that are against your beliefs/criminal or disrespectful to you. First thing first, dating a lady or guy simply because you love him or her is the height of foolishness because relationship these days is no longer hinged on love, rather it is hinged on convenience. are you saying that love is NOT the main objective any longer when it comes to dating, and that we have evolved into something else? kai! it has always been convenient to be in love with someone, the problem is that today many focus on the "convenient", and less on the person/love. may i ask: if not for love, what do YOU suggest we should date someone for? Secondly, love at first sight is a scam. Personally it takes me weeks or maybe months to approach a lady for relationship, not because I am scared or anything but because I don't want to pour fire on myself. Learning and understanding a person takes time and it is better done when the person has no idea that you are interested in him or her. Get to know them. true that love at 1st sight is a scam, because what you just know about this person is their looks, but attraction at 1st sight isnt a scam... and physical attraction is all what should be needed in order to decide to get to know someone further. your eyes send the message to your brain that its positive and that this beautiful/sexy lady passed the 1st test... now on to the next tests. not being honest with your intentions, straight from the get go, is wrong IMHO. why should it be wrong for you to "show" a woman that you are interested in her?! why start this r/ship on such a negative footing by pretending to be (desire) what you are not?! When you approach a lady and she accepts or when a guy approach you and you accept, don't just allow the initial feeling to clog your reasoning. Take time to study him or her. Ask them their likes and dislikes and things they can never tolerate in a relationship. If their likes are your dislikes then your flat azz is in problem. TIME is what is needed here, as you need to "discover" that person, and not just listen to someone who will tell you what you want to hear on the 1st date (who would even open up to a stranger on a 1st date?). such above questions your quoted are good but you will need to spend TIME with that person in order for TRUST to set in and for that person to HONESTLY reply to you. sadly, by that time you may discover other great attributes about that person that would have you overlook your DOs and DONTs. i have heard too many times here on people saying they love women they barely know, simply because she likes the same things that this man does, lol. |
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