Dyt:
Duh!!!
Who says its hard to get suitors?

They keep rolling in in triple folds
U attract what u want biko
I know lots of single mums that men are pleading to marry them
Even singles never get that kain attention
Bikonu speak for yourself alone
Its no freaking challenge
Accept me with my baggage or take a long walk
No time to waste
*whistling*
And wiggle comes to mind

You talked as if you are from another country. In Nigeria of today, marriage is more difficult for a single mum than for a spinster. It is a reality that we cannot run away from.

It is a thing to have men around you but it is another thing for them to be ready for marriage.

I understand your points , however, OP's points are real too , very real.

well, i don't know what to say shall. Ma sit dan dey read coments

Its only a man with self-esteem issues that would beg to marry a second-hand babe. As what na? Abeg speak for yourself and the beggarly guys who beg to marry you. And before you brag, check very well, 90 percent of those men just want to fiork and you know men can go any length and promise anything to see and enter 'Aso rock'.
.

Dyt:
Duh!!!
Who says its hard to get suitors?

They keep rolling in in triple folds
U attract what u want biko
I know lots of single mums that men are pleading to marry them
Even singles never get that kain attention
Bikonu speak for yourself alone
Its no freaking challenge
Accept me with my baggage or take a long walk
No time to waste
*whistling*
And wiggle comes to mind

supose the young girl...aborted the baby and appear single....how wil u know...the fact she save the baby shows she values life....once you love the woman wht big deal does it make to marry her....mariage is all about Gods blessing there are 1million single dat has had sex and abortion and stil clame single and decent marrying............there is aways two side of a coin at list d fact she has a baby shows she.can give birth than marry a baren woman who has removed her womb during process of abortion

Fairgodwin:
I am really interested in this topic. Because I have often wonder why as well.
It isn't so much of a big deal for guys who already have kid(s) to get hook up and or be married but so much of a big deal for the ladies. Why is it so? Why is the society so unfair to women?
And in some cases, it wasn't a fault of these ladies as some of them might have been victims of rape which ultimately resulted in the pregnancies, and of course, abortion was never an option (for them). Yet we fail to see reasons and embrace them as well as give them a second chance just the way we do the guys.
Like the poster below just said, maybe they truly don't want extra liability. But what about the lady who would have to take care or start looking after the guy's child from his ex? Isn't that some form of "extra liability" on the part of the guy as well?
And even in some, if not most cases, the lady wouldn't bring the child into their 'new home' so as not to put "extra liability" on the guy, yet most guys would still not want such (single mothers) women.
So what do we call this? Hypocrisy or simply Insensitivity?

There are various reasons and factors. But sometimes, the ladies find it difficult because they don't see things from the man's angle.
Many ladies give priority to their child more than the man. Many men want to marry single mums, but the problem is most of the men would want the lady to move in alone(without the child), then the child can join and start living with them later after the couple have settled down well or after the lady would have given the man a child. But most ladies would not agree to such. They want their child to be with them everywhere and at all times. Yet, a man would need space to put things right.

My advice to single mums: try and reason with the man and don't use your child against him or blackmail him. Every man needs some space and freedom to enjoy his ''new' wife. He may also not be financially and mentally ready for the child (but not necessarily because he hates or does not like him)
A particular single I know lost the opportunity to marry a guy because she refused to allow her child join them after she might have had a kid for the man....she insisted that the child must be with her.
It is even more complicated when the child is a boy and the father is alive!

egbedore:
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes at one time or the other. And as the adage says "To sin is human,but to forgive is divine"

But I have noticed that it is always difficult for ladies that have issues out of wedlock to get a man that will love and marry them. After all,having a child isn't a disease.

Why is this so?

Whatever happened to her that first time is still chasing her everywhere.


Every man carry your cross.

Wedon:
I think Nigerian men are just hypocrites.

I used to be friends with a man who hated abortion like hell. He would call abortionists murderers and claim they carry badluck wherever they go.

Then his friend married a woman with an 8-yr old baby (victim of teenage pregnancy) and he was one of the people who made mockery of him and called him 'f00lish'.

So I asked him, which is better, having and abortion or having a child outside wedluck. Cos the truth is that any woman who has engaged in pre-marital sex is exposed to pregnancy, even when you use contraceptive. Condoms have been known to fail in some situations. Some withdrawl methods have failed even morning after pills still fail.

So this friend of mine, sleeps with women and probably have dodged a bullet or two in getting them pregnant, and yet think he has the right to judge single mothers and deride abortionsts

We women, we NEVER catch a break with Nigerian men!!!

Are you a woman or man?

Who knows if dat is where my happiness is?

franciskaine:
bros! you really wish yourself this? People are indeed funny. I don't wish myself such. Women are more than what you see on their faces, they are chameleons.

The truth is that some single mothers go still dey do shakara for people forgetting that there are lots of girls all over the place.
In my case, my ex-girlfriend bleeped up big time. because I dey do after marriage sex kinda thing. She dey reason say dis guy no go get show after marriage. She will go about bleeping a guy when am not in town until she got pregnant. I don too love d girl die. I wan die when I find out. The guy abandon her and find his way and she plead with me to forgive and forget which I did. After some years we rekindle the love afair but this time I decided to bleep her. The 1st time I did, she just dey wonder where I learn the stuff because na kill I wan kill am dat day... When things get back to normal she started flirting with guys again and finally asked me to leave that she have another guy now. I cried my heart out. After 2 years in d wild she realized that most men just want to bleep a MILF, they are not willing to marry them. Now she is using style to come back; talking about y I don't call, why she like hanging out with me, why I should take her out etc. Who will expect me to still accepted her back... Been bitten by same girl twice no be here o. Fool me once, shame on u! Fool me twice, shame on me!

cKaiser:
Most men wont want the drama involved with Single mothers

Some of them are still emotionally involved with their ex baby daddy

Some carry the baggage of what their baby daddy did to them into their new relationship

There is always the fear that the child/children from the previous marriage after spending a lot on them would never see you as their father and would still look for their own biological father

Moreover single girls are in excess demand, why would one need to go for an after 1?

Sense!

Single mothers find it hard to marry because they
are yet to discover their flaws and amend them

Single mothers also find it hard to get married because there is this believe that they are second hand(General stereotype) which makes a fresh Bobo to think twice before embarking on an economy class flight.

Single mothers are sometimes desperate and this put fears in the mind of the young Bobo who just want to have fun

Most single mothers have low self-esteem

LIFE NO EASY O . TO CARTER FOR ONESELF HARD TALK OF ANOTHER WOMAN WITH PIKIN.

mikeapollo:




There are various reasons and factors. But sometimes, the ladies find it difficult because they don't see things from the man's angle.
Many ladies give priority to their child more than the man. Many men want to marry single mums, but the problem is most of the men would want the lady to move in alone(without the child), then the child can join and start living with them later after the couple have settled down well or after the lady would have given the man a child. But most ladies would not agree to such. They want their child to be with them everywhere and at all times. Yet, a man would need space to put things right.

My advice to single mums: try and reason with the man and don't use your child against him or blackmail him. Every man needs some space and freedom to enjoy his ''new' wife. He may also not be financially and mentally ready for the child (but not necessarily because he hates or does not like him)
A particular single I know lost the opportunity to marry a guy because she refused to allow her child join them after she might have had a kid for the man....she insisted that the child must be with her.
It is even more complicated when the child is a boy and the father is alive!

I guess you should read my post again: I said even in some cases when the lady agrees not to bring the child into her new home, most guys still turn them down. That was why I used the words, hypocrisy or insensitivity.
But I get your point, though. Thanks.

jamillion:
When virgin babas ar on high demand in laboure market y Shld I settle for not only over screwed vjay but a "pikin comot wornout vjay" abegi

You will still end up settling with one with a worn-out vjay unless you don't want to have kids

egbedore:
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes at one time or the other. And as the adage says "To sin is human,but to forgive is divine"

But I have noticed that it is always difficult for ladies that have issues out of wedlock to get a man that will love and marry them. After all,having a child isn't a disease.

Why is this so?

Because I as a man have freedom of choice

Misogynist2014:
Because I as a man have freedom of choice

Hmmm... Every human has a freedom of choice.
It isn't restricted to just men, ok?

Because is carelessness. A girl can tell a man am not a virgin and the man will still love her. But for me I see it as carelessness.

Simply bcoz wen God created woman he didn't create extra liability behind her.

mikeapollo:




There are various reasons and factors. But sometimes, the ladies find it difficult because they don't see things from the man's angle.
Many ladies give priority to their child more than the man. Many men want to marry single mums, but the problem is most of the men would want the lady to move in alone(without the child), then the child can join and start living with them later after the couple have settled down well or after the lady would have given the man a child. But most ladies would not agree to such. They want their child to be with them everywhere and at all times. Yet, a man would need space to put things right.

My advice to single mums: try and reason with the man and don't use your child against him or blackmail him. Every man needs some space and freedom to enjoy his ''new' wife. He may also not be financially and mentally ready for the child (but not necessarily because he hates or does not like him)
A particular single I know lost the opportunity to marry a guy because she refused to allow her child join them after she might have had a kid for the man....she insisted that the child must be with her.
It is even more complicated when the child is a boy and the father is alive!

u are so on point. Every man believe in me and my wife alone immediately after marriage. When a man marries he will start thinking about having private time with his wife. U will hardly have a private time with a single mother when U marry one except the few hours u will have at night when it is time to sleep.
I am speaking from experience. Woman need to understand that men need attention too. When I dated one it was like hell. If she is not reading she is with the child. U will visiting her and will hardly get attended to except for BYE when U are leaving... The most annoying thing is when she finally get space and chose to use it to attend to other men while U watch. Haba...

lockupman:

Its only a man with self-esteem issues that would beg to marry a second-hand babe. As what na? Abeg speak for yourself and the beggarly guys who beg to marry you. And before you brag, check very well, 90 percent of those men just want to fiork and you know men can go any length and promise anything to see and enter 'Aso rock'.
.

You are asking her to speak for herself and in the same boat generalising with loose stats

Do you think the term single parent is restricted to only women?

allanphash7:
Who knows if dat is where my happiness is?

why pray for the least when in actuality you can get the best? An example suffixes here. Back in my days in the university, there's this babe I love so much and so she does. A churchious lady she's of which I respected her person, a strong critic of premarital sex and whatnot. Some few months after leaving school we discovered that she was pregnant for one irresponsible fella like dat, and today she's a single mother. In sum, am saying that you can still get decent ladies out there to marry and stop praying for one single mother you can't explain how she came about her baby.

egbedore:
....

We're a traditional society and our men generally do not like fathering another man's child, especially when the biological father is still alive, except the man in question is coming into the marriage with his own kids. Technically, if you adopt another man's child when you have none, he or she becomes your first child, and for many men, this is not quite what they want because many issues surround it, for instance, instead of the woman making the man her next of kin, she makes the son instead. The man also has this feeling that the biological father or his people may come for their child someday after not having been in the child's life. This question of having another man in your marriage cannot also be avoided because the biological father may have to be in your family's life one way or another, an sometimes your action towards the child may be misunderstood, like disciplining the child may be misinterpreted as wickedness but this may not happen if the child was yours.

The summary is that it's a question of choice and in our society, many people are yet to embrace getting married to single moms especially if they haven't had their own kids themselves.

Justfollowit:


Hmmm... Every human has a freedom of choice.
It isn't restricted to just men, ok?

I commented based on post. Yes, every man has freedom of choice, provided it is legal, that's why my choice, no matter how irrational shouldn't be subjected to scrutiny. To me, it is easier for a nylon to come out of a blast furnace than to settle for fairly used.

Even if she already has up to 3kids, i can still marry her if i fall in love with her.

Misogynist2014:
I commented based on post. Yes, every man has freedom of choice, provided it is legal, that's why my choice, no matter how irrational shouldn't be subjected to scrutiny. To me, it is easier for a nylon to come our of a blast furnace that to settle for fairly used.

Amen, I pray you....

marrying a single moda ...1st ur parents no go undastnd.
2nd frnds

johnydon22:
Even if she already has up to 3kids, i can still marry her if i fall in love with her.

hmmm. lmao

I understand u bro but u know everyone with different flaws




Tnx bro

franciskaine:
why pray for the least when in actuality you can get the best? An example suffixes here. Back in my days in the university, there's this babe I love so much and so she does. A churchious lady she's of which I respected her person, a strong critic of premarital sex and what not. Some few months after leaving school we discovered that she was pregnant for one irresponsible fella like dat, and today she's a single mother. In sum, am saying that you can still get decent ladies out there to marry and stop praying for one single mother you can't explain how she came about her baby.

jaybee3:
It's not an issue and the challenge with regards to availability certainly isn't restricted to single mothers

The fact of the matter is, reasonable, focused ,available single men are fast becoming an extremely rare commodity.

Fixed

Dyt:
Duh!!!
Who says its hard to get suitors?

They keep rolling in in triple folds
U attract what u want biko
I know lots of single mums that men are pleading to marry them
Even singles never get that kain attention
Bikonu speak for yourself alone
Its no freaking challenge
Accept me with my baggage or take a long walk
No time to waste
*whistling*
And wiggle comes to mind

Irs people like you who dont have an iota of idea or experience would open their mouths and say anything they want. Anyway, its within your data plan. You cant exceed it.

Unfortunately, no man wants to take care of another man's kids.