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The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. - Poems For Review - Nairaland

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The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 6:19pm On May 15, 2015
Commentary:

This poem paints, with the help of numerous poetic devices, the stages which the inner mind goes through before finally giving in to rebellion. In the 1st and 2nd stanzas, the poet presents a highlight on the movements of the inner mind, in relation to itself. In the 3rd stanza, the poet examines the relationship of the inner mind with the mind's keeper. In the 4th, 5th and 6th stanzas, the poet further goes on to probe the relationship of the inner mind with the physical world. Finally, in the 7th and 8th stanzas, the poets narrates the end of the ambitious, industrious inner mind. smiley Enjoy.......

The inner mind
Twirls and twerks,
Twitches, cuts the air,
Whirls and swirls,
Births sparks; vicious fears
Renders it's dancing flair
Bare, in a fiery fierce affair.

The inner mind
Sprints and spurts,
Stops, feigns a flop.
Scuttles and trots
Lunacy; a display of sort,
Of a woman scorned.
Gait, as a lion's scoffed.

The inner mind
Sinfully rips through us,
Labours anxious chaos,
Courses, changes course,
Conquers a heart's voice
By a slam of toxic force,
Builds a throne forth
In a chest's fort

The inner mind
Dozes by daylight;
Lives by the night.
Slowly, slowly sights
Our wrongs rights
And our flaws might.
Our blacks whites
And rockets kites.

The inner mind
Learns to loudly speak
Grows to wholly seek
Answers to things
Mortals learnt to leave
In fits of their own sprees
Living by their own sins,
And digs through their skins

So, the inner mind
Seeks the one,
Who made the laws.
To South, to North
Seeks by gory gore
He, who made norms norms

But, the inner mind,
In the end
Will not bend
To the bends.
The inner mind
Will rebel.
The inner mind
Has rebelled.

Rebellion, rebellion, rebellion.
The inner mind's rebellion,
Then will become
His loyal, loyal stallion.

Copyrights reserved
©2015
Email: soburadedokun@yahoo.com

Cc:
timpaker
OMA4U
standd
joseph1832
diddydiva

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Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by timpaker(m): 6:37pm On May 15, 2015
Nice one bro. I love the 5th stanza........but can I ask a question?
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 6:52pm On May 15, 2015
timpaker:
Nice one bro. I love the 5th stanza........but can I ask a question?

Yes, sir.
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 7:31pm On May 15, 2015
hmmmmmm. this is so true.
nice one.

but. what can stop the inner mind from rebellion.
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 8:57pm On May 15, 2015
diddydiva:
hmmmmmm. this is so true.

nice one.


but. what can stop the inner mind from rebellion.

Just imagine that we're made of sparks, or something like sparks. The inner mind does not only do those things I listed, but it also ignites this spark; this spark we're made of. Trying to stop the inner made from rebellion is akin to killing it; killing our own sparks - which could mean killing us.

The inner mind is made to rebel; it can never be stopped.

Twaci All The Way! grin

1 Like

Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 9:28pm On May 15, 2015
laykorn:


Just imagine that we're made of sparks, or something like sparks. The inner mind does not only do those things I listed, but it also ignites this spark; this spark we're made of. Trying to stop the inner made from rebellion is akin to killing it; killing our won sparks - which could mean killing us.

The inner mind is made to rebel; it can never be stopped.

Twaci All The Way! grin
you are right.

what baffles me tho is the struggle between obedience and rebellion.


rebellion is from the inner mind ,that's taken.

obedience is from where?

if its also from the inner mind , is the inner mind two or its fighting itself.

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Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by msmon(m): 11:32pm On May 15, 2015
Inner mind rebellion. Love the last stanza!

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Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by drawdrawsoup: 11:32pm On May 15, 2015
Ok
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by exemen: 11:35pm On May 15, 2015
........

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Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:35pm On May 15, 2015
Op don mad for him inner mind
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by seedorfg(m): 11:35pm On May 15, 2015
well written, as a poem fan, i gbadun am gan ni
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:35pm On May 15, 2015
Shoro niyen

1 Like

Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:36pm On May 15, 2015
Twaci for miss nairaland
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:37pm On May 15, 2015
Plots for sale
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:38pm On May 15, 2015
Sharp sharp
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:39pm On May 15, 2015
Make una begin price nah
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:41pm On May 15, 2015
Nairaland server is overwhelmed
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by OKNkanu(m): 12:03am On May 16, 2015
Wonderful piece bro!.... Wonderful rhythm and good use of literal devices!!.....
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by PeeTeeJay(m): 12:19am On May 16, 2015
Nice one!! Very cool
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by REMMEI(m): 1:06am On May 16, 2015
Na poem.. all of them no go ever come book space for here.. awon alaraka!


Nicely penned Egbon!..


I still dey learn from you sha.

1 Like

Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 1:34am On May 16, 2015
Wow! This is beautiful! Masterpiece!
Wish I can write like this.
Thumbs up op.
The inner mind is indeed rebellious,always at war with its keeper.........
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by missionmex(m): 2:24am On May 16, 2015
Love this piece.
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by uncjay(m): 3:17am On May 16, 2015
A wonderful piece there @Op thumb up....
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Khaytunechi: 4:16am On May 16, 2015
Awww. Quite a piece.
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by joseph1832(m): 5:07am On May 16, 2015
A nice poem laykorn. But I believe you're yet to understand how the mind works.
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by MrKIZITO(m): 5:24am On May 16, 2015
Nice One
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by jejemanito: 5:29am On May 16, 2015
Nice
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 5:32am On May 16, 2015
Good one bro.

My brother's poem makes the front page. Isn't it worth celebrating? Don't worry, Mummy and I will treat you to this when you're back.
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by letsbet(m): 5:59am On May 16, 2015
Nice poam about the wonder of the mind. voteTwaci! for president!
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 7:03am On May 16, 2015
OMGshocked after this made FP,5 other topics had made FP after this topic,and I still see space for page(1) shocked. Students are too lazysad


Nice one OP,I love stanza four

Dozes in daylight... grin
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 7:11am On May 16, 2015
I believe the speaker of a poem is not always the writer, however, understanding the mind of a poet; the inner mind would require a lot of concentration and attentiveness. And nice piece BTW, it's enlightening.
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by donifez(m): 7:32am On May 16, 2015
Nice piece laykorn,More ink to your pen.

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