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Uti's Sermon On Marriage. ....hilarious But True - Nairaland / General - Nairaland

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Uti's Sermon On Marriage. ....hilarious But True by barcaboi(m): 8:21am On Jun 26, 2015
Enjoy Uti’s marriage sermon below.
Why you never marry Na?
Hmmmm how old is she? Why isn’t she
married??
This one he is still single. Maybe he
traded his marriage for wealth via JuJu
They say She was very promiscuous in
her young days o! And see her she is
married!! Where is my own
LORRRRRD!!!! WHY ME??!!!
Abeg!
WAKE UP NIGERIANS!
My word!
I think Nigerians are the hardest to
convince that times have changed!
Which is why we are finding it hard to
fully develop as a country? #FACT!
The amount of importance and
relevance attached to marriage in this
side of the world is the main reason for
DEPRESSION, FAILURE, UNFULFILLED
LIVES, PRETENSE AND UNREPORTED
SUICIDE! And I'm not talking about
the single folks here!
Don't get me wrong I am not anti-
marriage! I am very Pro Marriage;
for the right reasons!
It's crazy shocking and alarming
that till now people still succumb to
pressure and just marry the next person
they date!
Wooooow!
In my opinion it is better to die single
than to marry and be stuck with the
wrong person! Cos that itself is early
death!
First of all parents need to chill!
You have lived your lives, produced and
raised good children. If you did a
good job at it, you should trust your
kids enough to make the right adult
decisions at the right time! Stop the
pressure!! Some of you have forced your
kids into abusive relationships just so
that you can save face and Brag that
ahh all my children are married ooo! So
continue bragging when you have to go
and fetch their bodies from a Hospital
or even worse a mortuary!! Yep it's
been happening in this country.
Husbands beating their wives to death; wives stabbing or shooting their
husbands.
Thank God for the kind of parents and
Family I have o.
Then society needs to shut the hell up!
MIND YOUR DARN BUSINESS AND
FOCUS ON YOUR OWN LIVES!
The truth is people that are happily
married and busy raising a family have
absolutely no time to bother about who
is single, why they are single, who is
married and staying married.
Most embarrassingly a married person
getting involved in gossip about
singles. Kai!!! Signs of a failing/
unhappy marriage include- serious
levels of Aproko! Hahaha
On a more serious note my opinion is
this expecting everyone to get and stay
married is like expecting everyone to be
Rich and famous! IT WONT HAPPEN!
The earlier we accept the better for us!
Most people do not listen to their
spirits and or seek God deeply. They
just fling themselves into unions just so
they can be MARRIED.
Times have changed!
People are not staying married! Men are
getting more and more irresponsible,
women are getting more successful and
intolerant of men's childish
behaviors and oh they are also bold
enough to explore extra-marital affairs
now.
It’s crazy how me, a bachelor, would go
out to a club and at 2/3am I’m tired and
I want to go home and the married
dudes are saying where u de go Na?
Party never finish!!
*straight face**
REALLY!! Who is cuddling your wife
at this ungodly hour? Why is she
sleeping alone for Goodness sake!
Even worse is when a married person
says Uti introduce me to one small fine
girl Na .i de de lonely sometimes.
OH WOW!!!
Very irresponsible but HEAVY
STATEMENT.
Married and Lonely?? Hmmmmm
Let’s not forget that thanks to social
media some equally lonely and bored
housewives are snagging young fit men
daily!!!! I mean the rate is alarming!
In some marriages the husbands are
constantly cheating as well as the
wives??!
So wait, why marry?!!!! Why??
And trust religious Fanatics to say God
said a man shall leave his house and
find a wife etc. etc.
Really. DID God say a man MUST
Marry?!
Is there a commandment that says
THALL SHALT MARRY!
Yes Jesus said if you cannot hold
yourself from fornicating then marry!
But ALAS THERE is a commandment
that clearly states: THOU SHALT NOT
COMMIT ADULTERY!!!
So let’s not always pull out scriptures
to support our bias.
If we do that one we go bible mortal
combat. Lol
I dare say this!! NOT EVERYONE IS
SUPPOSED TO MARRY!!!!!
I don’t think people know what marriage
vows are o!!! People are really take God
for granted!!!!
Let’s analyze it:
FORSAKING ALL OTHERS .
TO BE FAITHFUL LOYAL and HONEST.
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD (Meaning no
more bikini babes. No more 6pack boys
no more random hookups! NO LIES!!!!
You shall touch and sleep with only one
person for the rest of your LIFE! Hmm is
okay. Lol)
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH!! (No
matter how sick your spouse gets. Even
if worms are coming out of their body
and they smell bad! You have to be
there for them!!!!)
FOR BETTER OR WORSE! (No matter
how bad things get! Even if Una quarrel
and burn down the house! You stay!!)
FOR RICHER OR POORER!!! ( hehehe I
won’t even touch this before some
babes will say I am swearing for them
to marry a poor man but if he does get
poor you stay)
And the one that freaks me out. TILL
DEATH DO US PART! ( meaning that the
only thing that should separate you
people is death!)
If you find one who you love and
completes you and to a high
percentage is reciprocal, then it’s
better to just get married and remedy
any situation that tries to spoil the
union rather than run away from it or
find self satisfying alternatives to
ease the shit.

2 Likes

Re: Uti's Sermon On Marriage. ....hilarious But True by fav444(f): 8:42am On Jun 26, 2015
nice piece. keep it up!
Re: Uti's Sermon On Marriage. ....hilarious But True by bigtt76(f): 8:44am On Jun 26, 2015
True word! But make hin try go marray joooooor! grin
Re: Uti's Sermon On Marriage. ....hilarious But True by Ginaz(f): 8:54am On Jun 26, 2015
true word, its not a must to marry. people dont even know what relationship means let alone marriage?

1 Like

Re: Uti's Sermon On Marriage. ....hilarious But True by Nobody: 8:55am On Jun 26, 2015
So true.
But,
Will they listen to you?
No!!!
Re: Uti's Sermon On Marriage. ....hilarious But True by MatricNumber(m): 8:58am On Jun 26, 2015
Cant read it finish o
Re: Uti's Sermon On Marriage. ....hilarious But True by missdebs(f): 9:22am On Jun 26, 2015
for once uti made sense, thumbs up

1 Like

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