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Living Alone: Pros And Cons - Family - Nairaland

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Living Alone: Pros And Cons by Tcrack(m): 2:39pm On Feb 28, 2009
Am planing on moving out of my parents house and rent a mini flat .Its not because we are having any problems but its just that I think I have stayed here long enough and its time to start my own life elsewhere.My mum is against it(she always makes reference to my two elder ones still living here) but i think as long as i stay here i will still remain a Child and It will prevent me from growing up and being responsible( free food , free house, no bills etc).my monthly income is not much but it is still enough to get by with.I would like objective analysis of the pros and cons of my decision from those who have been in my position. Thanks all.

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Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by Treetop20(m): 3:08pm On Feb 28, 2009
you get to grow up and start paying a mortgage
that is a big responsibility.
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by Epi: 4:44pm On Feb 28, 2009
the truth is, I don't pay rent but it's a nice independent feeling.

Just don't get caught up with the peer pressure like me, trying to please your friends (to fit in with the crowd.) Don't live above your income. If you can't roll with the "big wigs" find some lame excuse or speak (i can't afford it) the truth. I know of two ppl who used to hang out with us and got evicted from their apartments. Be yourself and know yourself. Don't let pride kill you. Don't have your boyfriend move in with you. yea, let him eat, sleep and leave. if he wants to move in, Let him put a ring on your finger first wink

Me, with peer pressure, i was drinking, using the ef-word every second and coming home late -1 am every weekend. My mom and dad talked/slapped some sense in2 me. i don't drink anymore and I only type (don't use it in person) the ef-word. I am back to living single, old-fashioned ways and loving it.

Oh yea, Please stay in touch with your parents. it's healthy

Best of luck and be careful

1 love

1 Like

Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by Nobody: 5:00pm On Feb 28, 2009
the pros are endless and the list would be too long to fit in this small space
the cons are:
-no mum to cook you dinner
-if mum was doing your laundry then you might want to think again before moving
-no mum to clean the house, them dirty dishes wont mysteriously be cleaned
- you will miss the SPACE you had back home
-for some, it could be lonely
-all your friends living with their parents will want to use you place like an hotel
-lovers/mistresses might want to stay longer in the morning
-girlfriend/boyfriend might want to move in or have the keys.
-girlfriend/boyfriend will ALWAYS want to come around at odd hours
- you have more responsibilities. bills must be paid on time, that you have the money or NOT.
-grow up faster than  than you WANT to
since you have little money, forget about cable TV sorry forget about anything luxurious, TV included.

also living by yourself might alter some of your feelings and actions:
-saving?! forget about this word.
-clubbing?! yeah but you might not spend as much as before.
-restaurants with your girl, why? you can cook at home and have similar "dinner for two".

1 Like

Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by otokx(m): 9:30am On Mar 01, 2009
The thing i love best about living alone is the lock your door drama. When me was in the family some people will come they want to see me if am at home and the sisis will say yes and come call me from my room. Now am in my house they come and knock and knock and knock that metal door till they are tired; then they leave. Another aspect in my parents house which was worse is coming back home from work after a hard day only to see some "unknown" relations in the house and in your room, a/c on, tv on, music on top. It was really terrible but now none of that.

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Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 12:21pm On Mar 02, 2009
From what I have seen in life, I'd advise a man to marry a girl who lives with her parents rather than a girl who has learnt to live alone.
there's just something that seems to happen to a woman who has lived alone for sometime. lipsrsealed
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by Sauron1: 12:56pm On Mar 02, 2009
JustGood:

From what I have seen in life, I'd advise a man to marry a girl who lives with her parents rather than a girl who has learnt to live alone.
there's just something that seems to happen to a woman who has lived alone for sometime. lipsrsealed

U gotta be shitting me. . . . . . .
Whats the difference between a girl living alone and a gurl staying under her parents??
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by Epi: 2:17pm On Mar 02, 2009
JustGood:

From what I have seen in life, I'd advise a man to marry a girl who lives with her parents rather than a girl who has learnt to live alone.
there's just something that seems to happen to a woman who has lived alone for sometime. lipsrsealed
And what seems to happen?? undecided
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by FBS: 2:44pm On Mar 02, 2009
its the beginning of maturity. some of us had to and not because we choose to.
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 2:52pm On Mar 02, 2009
It just seems that majority of them have problems with their marriages. Could be that they are chosing the wrong men. . . could also be that they have become too independent for the kind of commitment that is required to make for a long lasting marriage. . . could be any reason at all.

Just my observation

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Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by Sauron1: 2:58pm On Mar 02, 2009
JustGood:

It just seems that majority of them have problems with their marriages. Could be that they are chosing the wrong men. . . could also be that they have become too independent for the kind of commitment that is required to make for a long lasting marriage. . . could be any reason at all.

Just my observation

I disagree.
Women staying under their parents roof can also act too independent for the kind of relationship a long lasting marriage requires.
Being independent has nothing to do with the attitude some of our women exude.

1 Like

Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 4:59pm On Mar 02, 2009
~Sauron~:

I disagree.
Women staying under their parents roof can also act too independent for the kind of relationship a long lasting marriage requires.
Being independent has nothing to do with the attitude some of our women exude.

You tell me what you base that on.

I already said my statement is based on what I have observed
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by tpia: 5:02pm On Mar 02, 2009
.
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 5:06pm On Mar 02, 2009
Of course I expected antagonism for that from Nairaland. Afterall this is an internet forum where many of the most vocal ones are the ones who live abroad.

2 Likes

Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by Epi: 8:01pm On Mar 02, 2009
JustGood:

It just seems that majority of them have problems with their marriages. Could be that they are chosing the wrong men. . . could also be that they have become too independent for the kind of commitment that is required to make for a long lasting marriage. . . could be any reason at all.

Just my observation
Hmm, I thought it was the other way around. more men (caribbean) complain about their wives who came straight from their parents home - “She can’t do anything to help herself, can’t cook, can’t keep the house clean, and dirty dishes in the sink.  Why?  Their moms were doing everything for them while they were living at home.  I guess every culture is different

In fact there is a Caribbean folklore song based on these girls.  It’s tells the story of an inept but pretty girl - She not good at cooking or as we say, she can't boil water

Pack She Back to She Ma

A Pretty Little girl like ,  . . (add her name)
She lazy from since she born
She hands full of rings
And she can’t do a thing
Pack she back to she ma

Pack she back to she mama
Pack she back to she pa
She hands full of rings
And she can’t do a thing
Pack she back to she ma

*Pic* fifth graders singing Pack she back to she ma.  The one behind the girl in the pink sounded the best. grin

Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by DaPhoenix(f): 8:22pm On Mar 02, 2009
JustGood:

From what I have seen in life, I'd advise a man to marry a girl who lives with her parents rather than a girl who has learnt to live alone.
there's just something that seems to happen to a woman who has lived alone for sometime.  lipsrsealed
JustGood:

It just seems that majority of them have problems with their marriages. Could be that they are chosing the wrong men. . . could also be that they have become too independent for the kind of commitment that is required to make for a long lasting marriage. . . could be any reason at all.

Just my observation

Go sit down somewhere and re-observe.

@poster, it is different but if you have the money for rent, food and transportation and you have trained yourself to be responsible for yourself that is, you've learned to cook, do the laundry and other house chores, you're straight.
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by spikedcylinder: 8:47am On Mar 03, 2009
JustGood:

Of course I expected antagonism for that from Nairaland. Afterall this is an internet forum where many of the most vocal ones are the ones who live abroad.

Yes of course. And you, Sheik Ibn JustGood has a problem with vocal women. undecided

~Sauron~:

I disagree.
Women staying under their parents roof can also act too independent for the kind of relationship a long lasting marriage requires.
Being independent has nothing to do with the attitude some of our women exude.

Spot on. There's not much difference between what you can do while living with your parents and what you can do living on your own.
Depends on determination you see. . . .
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by FBS: 12:52pm On Mar 03, 2009
tpia:

thank you once again.
Acknowledged. grin

To the house: Are we saying that a girl staying alone is a NOT a good girl?
Are we saying that it is ok for a guy to stay alone but not for a girl?
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 3:55pm On Mar 03, 2009
spikedcylinder:

Yes of course. And you, Sheik Ibn JustGood has a problem with vocal women. undecided


I have a vocal enough wife and I dont have a problem with her.

Ohhhhhh of course she is not one to try and make me her slave at home. She knows that she is my God-given wife and I am her God-given husband. She does not seek to just please herself; she takes me and the children into consideration in what she does; she realises that her life is not just hers to live but that we are living our lives together. . . yes!!! that's why I chose to marry such a woman . . .

. . .and NOT the kind which seems abundant here.

1 Like

Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by spikedcylinder: 4:25pm On Mar 03, 2009
JustGood:

I have a vocal enough wife and I dont have a problem with her.

Ohhhhhh of course she is not one to try and make me her slave at home. She knows that she is my God-given wife and I am her God-given husband. She does not seek to just please herself; she takes me and the children into consideration in what she does; she realises that her life is not just hers to live but that we are living our lives together. . . yes!!! that's why I chose to marry such a woman . . .

. . .and NOT the kind which seems abundant here.


So if you have such a wonderful woman as a wife, why is it impossible for you to respect other women?

1 Like

Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by tpia: 4:26pm On Mar 03, 2009
$1 Million dollar question.
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 4:29pm On Mar 03, 2009
Respect is earned. . . not demanded

I dont subscribe to women being silly and acting like everything revolves around them and then expect me to act stupid in the name of respect. There's a difference between respect and stupidity.

I respect people who respect themselves.

If you can point out anytime that I have disrespected anyone here who has not incited it, I will apologise to you unconditionally.
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 4:30pm On Mar 03, 2009
tpia:

$1 Million dollar question.

When (if) you get a husband, tell him to be the stepping block for women with no direction in their lives and see where it gets him.

1 Like

Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by tpia: 4:32pm On Mar 03, 2009
.
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by spikedcylinder: 7:44pm On Mar 03, 2009
JustGood:

Respect is earned. . . not demanded

I dont subscribe to women being silly and acting like everything revolves around them and then expect me to act stupid in the name of respect. There's a difference between respect and stupidity.

I respect people who respect themselves.

If you can point out anytime that I have disrespected anyone here who has not incited it, I will apologise to you unconditionally.

No wonder you don't get any respect here either. undecided

Thats the issue. You assume that any woman that has the audacity to oppose you (objectively or otherwise) is rude and you immediately assume that woman can never be married or never be happy.
Why do you relate everything to marriage (as you have obviously done in a thread that has nothing to do with that)? Like that your only reference/defense mechanism?
For instance, do you know tpia personally? Do you know if she's married? No.
Shame. undecided

2 Likes

Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by tpia: 7:48pm On Mar 03, 2009
.
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by Sauron1: 8:48pm On Mar 03, 2009
spikedcylinder:

Yes of course. And you, Sheik Ibn JustGood has a problem with vocal women. undecided

Spot on. There's not much difference between what you can do while living with your parents and what you can do living on your own.
Depends on determination you see. . . .


Do u stay alone??
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by sistawoman: 10:50pm On Mar 03, 2009
I think everyone has covered the pros and cons now for the move.

Have you given this much thought?

Besides the rent what will your monthly expenses be?
How much for food?
How much for Elec, water, trash, etc
How much savings do you have?
How long have you been saving?
Will you have to put down first and last months rent and securty deposit?

Since you live rent, food and all other free you should be saving and getting ready for the move.
If you dont know how much you will need for food then for the next 30 days buy your own food, that is food at home and food at work, keep the reciepts and track it.

If you have not started saving you need to stay at home until you have 6 months of full living expenses saved then move.

So start paying your rent now to your bank account.
Start paying all your bills that you would have on your own to your bank account
Do that for 6 months.
Dont short it either you have to know what it feels like to pay that money on the 1st of each month and not be late.
Then add an extra 10% to that 6 months savings for emergencies.
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 10:20am On Mar 04, 2009
so tpia thinks that if men chase her, it is a sign that she will have a good married life!!! just confirmed your immaturity again. Wait till you find out.

Time will tell
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 10:24am On Mar 04, 2009
spikedcylinder:

No wonder you don't get any respect here either. undecided

Thats the issue. You assume that any woman that has the audacity to oppose you (objectively or otherwise) is rude and you immediately assume that woman can never be married or never be happy.
Why do you relate everything to marriage (as you have obviously done in a thread that has nothing to do with that)? Like that your only reference/defense mechanism?
For instance, do you know tpia personally? Do you know if she's married? No.
Shame. undecided


Have I ever asked anyone to respect me here?

You are the ones looking for respect but you are always quick to insult people and then you claim one is disrespecting women. If my wife insults me everytime I disagree on something, we wont be married.

I have never asked anyone to respect me here so I dont care if you disrespect me. I dare any evil seer here to show anyone that I have insulted without being insulted first!
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by JustGood(m): 10:26am On Mar 04, 2009
If you can point out anytime that I have disrespected anyone here who has not incited it, I will apologise to you unconditionally.

The fact that you are unable to find any response to the above is enough for anyone with any level of intelligence to see what is really on here
Re: Living Alone: Pros And Cons by gnever(m): 10:33am On Mar 04, 2009
Having all my 5subjects,but my Econs & Alc is not okay,
Can i still go on awaiting for par-time in lasu?
hala on +2347035719523.





thanks,

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