Kizyte:

How were you allowed to live with four kids in the U.S? That's supposed to be irresponsible.

family of four,

that means 2kids.

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

must you accept all friends request mr nice guy u never start learn to say NO

astrodome:
I just dropped the phone a few minutes ago after speaking with one of these old friends, got very angry after telling me he lives in Adamawa (Boko Haram) and needs money to relocate to his state of origin. This coming after I sent $700, respectively to a sister and a sister-inlaw this am

Dem wan kill me?

Lol. Just imagine what people like Kanu Nwankwo, Mikel and thhe likes are passing through.

Go and marry a foreigner no more Aso ebi,Bleep all!!!

Kizyte:

How were you allowed to live with four kids in the U.S? That's supposed to be irresponsible.

Family of 4 is not equal to 4 kids. It is equal to 2 kids+ parents.

And who even told you the US has issues with 4 kids?

I will give you the advice I give others and myself.
1. Since you can't really stop giving, make a strict budget for what you are willing to part with monthly or quarterly. Tell your significant other about this to help you track it. And give yourself a deadline like 4 or 5 years when you put off the switch.
2. Make sure you invest every other cent you make. You should not keep idle funds. You can't give what you don't have.
3. Learn to say NO and teach your kids how to do same.
4. Learn to ignore calls until you have money to give.
5. Always give LESS than what somebody asks for. NEVER give the full amount

vislabraye:


Lol. Just imagine what people like Kanu Nwankwo, Mikel and thhe likes are passing through.

No be small thing

Sunofgod:


Na so dey rich dey become rich - - by saving their money and spending someone else's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Watch and learn)

lol! I hear u! Street O.T

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

You no well, lolz

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

Just stay off Facebook.
No be by force.

If u no wan give no give, na by force? Why u make am seem like hard thing to do?

Haha I can relate very well with this and I can write an epistle about my experience but got no time fort that. My advise to you is to either change your numbers and if you must give these friends your number it should be the one you can easily change at anytime. I have not been to Facebook chat for over a year now because each time I got there it was messages of friends bombarding me with one financial demands or the other. How you forgot them and what not.

And even since I stopped going to the chat they've not cease from messaging with incessant demands which I don't even reply. The thing is once you're abroad most of your friends consider you to be living in opulence and you can't have the usual friendly correspondence you normally had with them without luring you to their problems, mainly money. It's only on Facebook that this sh1t happens though as it's easier to change phone numbers from such people.

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

Ma niqqa

Dude u are so fake ok!

bebe2:


family of four,

that means 2kids.

bebe2, please educate me. What if it were 4 kids? Is it not allowed or what?

ronald4lif:
Haha I can relate very well with this and I can write an epistle about my experience but got no time fort that. My advise to you is to either change your numbers and if you must give these friends your number it should be the one you can easily change at anytime. I have not been to Facebook chat for over a year now because the each time I got there it was messages of friends bombarding me with one financial demands or the other. How you forgot them and what not.

And even since I stopped going to the chat they've cease from messaging with incessant demands which I don't even reply. The thing is once you're abroad most of your friends consider you to be living in opulence and you can't have the usual friendly correspondence you normally had with them without luring you to their problems, mainly money. It's only on Facebook that this sh1t happens though as it's easier to change numbers from such people.

Really?
You got no time for an epistle?
Lord

@astrodome, dis is a simple case. change all ur contact details

Remember the Bible says Giver never lack. So try to stay within that tenet. We take care of our own, expecially family.

horlakunle25:
lol! I hear u! Street O.T

'Maga' [astrodome] must pay -

(and stop complaining on NL)

TONY UMEZ....


2008 NOLLYWOOD

olawonder:
Am surprised ppl here are not raining curses on u for this post; d last time a similar thread was posted, d OP ran away for ppl's abuse! You know why? because d ppl u are asking here for advice are the same friends, families and folks u were referring to... they too hv ppl abroad they are frustrating lives out of, for money! And they wouldn't like this sort of post that seems to pointing directly at them!

I can already see some posts suggesting what you just described
Thanks.

Freemanan:

Really?
You got no time for an epistle?
Lord

Oga, that one no be epistle oo. If I write wetin dey my mind it will take you the fullness of time to read it.

Them no say majority in america are in negative. All there debt is more than the money they have.

Just do the little you can , we Africans also have to show some love to our extended family and friends. Though it could be very annoying sometimes expecially when you know the person making the demand is lazy and not the serious type.

presentley:
bebe2, please educate me. What if it were 4 kids? Is it not allowed or what?

I wonder

Niaja people don tire me with dem beg beg for money ! Dem wahala don dey kill me! In fact .....

presentley:
bebe2, please educate me. What if it were 4 kids? Is it not allowed or what?

20kids sef is allowed,

but ready to carry the financial burden on ur own.

ronald4lif:


Oga, that one no be epistle oo. If I write wetin dey my mind it will take you the fullness of time to read it.

Haba
Emashe iyonu sir...

Don't say any further...

You earn 6 figure salary per month, spend 50% on mortgage and complain about spening $3k per month to less privileged ? sounds silly.

You are a PhD holder, yet you come to nairaland where mostly undergraduate students are visitors to seek for advise on common-sense issue ? Sounds silly also.

Well, my advise is to close the facebook account, throw the phone line away and buy new phone where only your wife and kid will have access to. That way, you can enjoy your 6 figure salary alone. Stingy man.

bebe2:


20kids sef is allowed,

but ready to carry the financial burden on ur own.

There is nothing irresponsible about having 4 kids, given my income.

ronald4lif:
Haha I can relate very well with this and I can write an epistle about my experience but got no time fort that. My advise to you is to either change your numbers and if you must give these friends your number it should be the one you can easily change at anytime. I have not been to Facebook chat for over a year now because each time I got there it was messages of friends bombarding me with one financial demands or the other. How you forgot them and what not.

And even since I stopped going to the chat they've not cease from messaging with incessant demands which I don't even reply. The thing is once you're abroad most of your friends consider you to be living in opulence and you can't have the usual friendly correspondence you normally had with them without luring you to their problems, mainly money. It's only on Facebook that this sh1t happens though as it's easier to change phone numbers from such people.

The best thing to do is to ignore them but ensure you chat them up once in a while. They can't understand no matter know hard you try to explain and you also can't distance yourself from them.