Yesterday, I had a conversation with my friends about using physical force to correct kids.

I was not really surprise that many of my friends were corrected with physical force when they were younger. However, I was shocked that many said they will use physical force (gentle spanking) to correct their kids.

This is very troublesome because we have tried physical force and quite frankly it doesn't work. The level of crime and social injustice in Nigeria suggests that corporal punishment is ineffective.

Yes you get immediate results as a parent,however you are teaching your child that it is okay to express their displeasure and frustrations with physical force.

It has been proven by the research that it unbalances the child's emotions. This makes the child fear higher powers and have total disregard for those under him or her.

This clearly shows itself in the way Nigerians relate with their superiors and subordinates at work.

I personally have never hit my dogs and I have three. Why I should then hit my kid?

Madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Let's stop correcting Nigerian children with physical force.

Cc Lalastica Ishilove

In other words, spare the child and spoil the rod

Utter Rubbish

Discipline with the left hand,draw closer with the right hand.

Having seen the way British kids are brought up, where there is no beating or even any form of discipline...I'd rather the Nigerian way any day.

Exactly my thoughts. You are so on point Op... If serious spanking couldn't stop 90% of adult now from crazy lifestyle when they were kids, i wonder what it will do now........ Not that punishment would stop in totality, as kids they need some little spank, here and there, but all those crazy slaps and kicks won't help matters. A good exercise la punishment will suffice!

100

GeneralShepherd:
Yesterday, I had a conversation with my friends about using physical force to correct kids.

I was not really surprise that many of my friends were corrected with physical force when they were younger. However, I was shocked that many said they will use physical force (gentle spanking) to correct their kids.

This is very troublesome because we have tried physical force and quite frankly it doesn't work. The level of crime and social injustice in Nigeria suggests that corporal punishment is ineffective.

Yes you get immediate results as a parent,however you are teaching your child that it is okay to express their displeasure and frustrations with physical force.

It has been proven by the research that it unbalances the child's emotions. This makes the child fear higher powers and have total disregard for those under him or her.

This clearly shows itself in the way Nigerians relate with their superiors and subordinates at work.

I personally have never hit my dogs and I have three. Why I should then hit my kid?

Madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Let's stop correcting Nigerian children with physical force.

Cc Lalastica Ishilove

BundlesOfJoy:
Having seen the way British kids are brought up, where there is no beating or even any form of discipline...I'd rather the Nigerian way any day.

How are Nigerian kids better behaved than British kids?

modelmike7:
Exactly my thoughts. You are so on point Op... If serious spanking couldn't stop 90% of adult now now from crazy lifestyle when they were kids, i wonder what it will do now........ Not that punishment would stop in totality, as kids they need some little spank, here and there, but all those crazy slaps and kicks won't help matters. A good exercise la punishment will suffice!

How about rewarding them when they act right and withdrawing some of their privileges when they err?

fathomberry:
In other words, spare the child and spoil the rod

The same Bible condemns wearing clothing of different materials. Are all your shirts 100% pure cotton?

Mind you I never said do not discipline your kids, i said do not.scream at.them or use physical force.

GeneralShepherd:


How about rewarding them when they act right and withdrawing some of their privileges when they err?

.............. That is a very very good way to go also!

I'll bring up my child the way I was brought up.....

GeneralShepherd:


The same Bible condemns wearing clothing of different materials. Are all your shirts 100% pure cotton?

Mind you I never said do not discipline your kids, i said do not.scream at.them or use physical force.

I'm not against you dear sir, neither am I for you!!

I'd treat my kids in the ways I deem fit and right. I don't think anybody will come tell me how to treat 'MY' kids.

Hmmm. The children of these days are...

Jamean:
Hmmm. The children of these days are...

Kids will always be kids. Patience and firm discipline is what is needed

I kinda see the OP's point. All your so-called Nigerian values and physical beating and emotional abuse has NOT led to a better society. It had made people fear their superiors and be evil to others below them and we certainly lack empathy and patience.

Perhaps it's time to try another method. Some of the best behaved people I've met didn't get beaten a lot or insulted for every mistake as a child. I got insulted a lot and it only made me never listen to anyone as an adult once they attempted to speak harshly to me (even if it was in my best interest). One of my brothers just pointed to my LO and said "there will never be a good reason to insult her, no matter what she does. " So I wrote it down and the date, I swear it to her now that her mistakes will always be just that, mistakes and not a judgement on the rest of her life and character.

"You're useless" will NEVER be the right answer to your child accidentally bringing you the wrong item from your room or burning soup or breaking something.

Dont know about you, but I will spank my kids as occassion would demand.

I already know I am going to be the 'Yes baby' kind of mum; same way I already know I'm going to be the 'Get me my cane' kind too. I will not spare the rod.

Sue me for typing this, or forever hold your peace.

Thank you.

I will train my kids with the combination of prayers, and the mixture of physical and psychological punishment.

Some Nigerian parents brutal oo...

Some unmarried ones are already planning on how they'll use rods on their kids. If the child God has kept for you reads your post, the pikin no go greeee come ooh

jnrbayano:
I will train my kids with the combination of prayers, and the mixture of physical and psychological punishment.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Pineapp:
Discipline with the left hand,draw closer with the right hand.

Ignoring my mentions now? Perfect!

JoeCutie:
Ignoring my mentions now? Perfect!

Sorry I just checked!

Just try and make your kids your friends, and get them to like and trust you. I bet you, you won't be needing force to correct them. They'll listen to you.

The worst thing that can happen to you as a parent is when your kids fear you. They'd do the things you ask, not because they want to, but because they fear you.

Be friends with your wife/husband and kids, and "happily ever after" awaits you.

Pineapp:

Sorry I just checked!

No, you didn't! But it's okay.
Hope you're good?

Iaz93:
Some Nigerian parents brutal oo...

Some unmarried ones are already planning on how they'll use rods on their kids. If the child God has kept for you reads your post, the pikin no go greeee come ooh

I know this is directed at me.

Trust me I know my self so well, so I can already tell. lol. I also know that when children don't hear words, they hear action...that is where the rod comes in.

#which child will say no to the as yet to be world's best mom by the way?

Gaborone:
Dont know about you, but I will spank my kids as occassion would demand.

I already know I am going to be the Yes baby' kind of mum; same way I already know I'm going to be the 'Get me my cane kind too. I will not spare the rod.

Sue me for typing this, or forever hold your peace.

Thank you.

Just like me!

Adufetohposh:
Just like me!

Way to go, sis.

JoeCutie:
Just try and make your kids your friends, and get them to like and trust you. I bet you, you won't be needing force to correct them. They'll listen to you.

The worst thing that can happen to you as a parent is when your kids fear you. They'd do the things you ask, not because they want to, but because they fear you.

Be friends with your wife/husband and kids, and "happily ever after" awaits you.

Just spoke my mind. True I was raised in the full wrath of the cane and other harsh words but it poised me to be better today.

Am not against the use of subtle means to instruct or correct a child but a kid will always be a kid in certain areas. Like a clean slate certain codes needs to be imprinted the hard way.

The candy mom and dad thing don't usually work, mind you this is Africa and Nigeria. Discipline is never imbibed in the kindness of hearts, it's borne out of love but portrayed in bitterness. My boy will always ask if I want him to cry and I'll ask him same question too, so in other words we just desist from making eachother cry.

@Op pls leave the WEST, we're the last frontier of morals and discipline. The only place you can find that in the West is in the military and its not done with candy bars. Correct a child when and where necessary and cuddle him/her after that. True we have a loose society, apparently cuz the young people of today have abused the responsibility of taking care of themselves when granted the freedom to do so. I know how many youths that wished they were corrected while growing up or that they were made to follow some strict rules.

As people age, they obey such rules out of love and the positive impacts of such in their lives.

Next thing will be a campaign against use of cane in homes.
I ordered my son's teacher to be the first corrective agent in my child's life upon any misbehaviour. Don't tell me you're among the ones that get teachers sacked for scolding your child, you won't find it funny.

GeneralShepherd:


How are Nigerian kids better behaved than British kids?

Not what I mean as such. I am simply commenting on what I have seen countless times growing up. What I see is 8 year old shouting 'I hate you' when reprimanded and the parents saying it's ok because the child is learning to express herself. Or better still, another one replying 'well why did u have children if you don't know how to handle me?!'
I see teenage kids beating an elderly man senseless for no other reason than it is something fun to do, pregnant teachers being physically attacked by students simply for asking them to behave,and then getting suspended because you are not supposed to raise your hand to students despite it being self defence. Or parents being such 'friends' to their children to the extent that they vacate their own home so that their teenage son/daughter can have uninterrupted sex with their gf/bf... and the list goes on.

All I'm saying is this - I also don't agree with beating a child senseless to the point of abuse, but growing up without any form of discipline or at the very least, respect for even your parents, isn't much better either.

Gaborone:
Dont know about you, but I will spank my kids as occassion would demand.

I already know I am going to be the 'Yes baby' kind of mum; same way I already know I'm going to be the 'Get me my cane' kind too. I will not spare the rod.

Sue me for typing this, or forever hold your peace.

Thank you.

It is your opinion why should I Sue you? I just ask you take a look at available evidence

BundlesOfJoy:


Not what I mean as such. I am simply commenting on what I have seen countless times growing up. What I see is 8 year old shouting 'I hate you' when reprimanded and the parents saying it's ok because the child is learning to express herself. Or better still, another one replying 'well why did u have children if you don't know how to handle me?!'
I see teenage kids beating an elderly man senseless for no other reason than it is something fun to do, pregnant teachers being physically attacked by students simply for asking them to behave,and then getting suspended because you are not supposed to raise your hand to students despite it being self defence. Or parents being such 'friends' to their children to the extent that they vacate their own home so that their teenage son/daughter can have uninterrupted sex with their gf/bf... and the list goes on.

All I'm saying is this - I also don't agree with beating a child senseless to the point of abuse, but growing up without any form of discipline or at the very least, respect for even your parents, isn't much better either.

A child once beheaded a teacher in Enugu. A child telling the parent, I hate you is a child being a child.

Nigerian kids still wanna scream I hate you but can't because of fear. Does it mean they didn't feel hatred for their parents?

Verbal expression makes kids less aggressive