sben2308:
To me d best answer is as follows


One pray intensively and extensively

Two she needs to under stand that only one master in their boat and othes are supporter .

Three seek advise from married couples of above 25years.I said married cuz u get d fact from both party not one .

Fourth love unconditionall cuz d truth is love conquer all .Thou it may take tym but its will b won .

HungerBAD:
Mind your business.

As usual on Nairaland *my friend story* again, and we too are ready to pretend that we believe it is not you it happened to, but your friend.

Anybody that is married is not a baby, and does not need any body's advice if they are in an abusive relationship/marriage.

I cannot from the outside advice anybody to forfeit their marriages, or stay in it until they get killed.

You (your friend) should follow your heart. And do as it advises you.

Richy4:
I don't think your friend needs advice.

I believe there was courtship before they started living together. And there were red flags that suggested his man's temperament during the courtship and she chose to ignore it.or was she among the type of ladies that think they can change their man?

Some times, it is not really ok to come between partners. Middle men should stay away let them work out what this is.

If he is highly inflammable, she is the one that hold the keys to his heart. She knows what to do

DollyParton1:

Your first paragraph is what I live for. I tell my friends that complain about the spouses that they didn't start whateever they are doing that is unpalatable out of no where. There would have been hints along the line. They just decided to be blind and deaf towards it.

Your last paragraph. .... she holds the key to his heart. What does that even mean?
A man should be a a man and work on whatever bad habit or character he has. Not waiting for his wife to start using keys to open his heart. So he throws iron/metal at his boss or coworkers too?
Or he used to lash out on his parents before he got married? If he could exercise self control in these areas, why couldn't he do the same with the wife.

Shymm3x:


Aren't women generally manipulative? If you lot could pride yourselves in being about to manipulate any guy, why is it so difficult to do the same when it comes to turning a man who's a rough diamond, into a shining one? Be the small mum and cater to ya man.

DollyParton1:


If he still needs a woman to cater for his bad character, then he better stay with his mum. He is not ready for marriage then.

Shymm3x:


Lmao @ start with his mum. And who's ready/complete for marriage?

Err, isn't marriage an institution where two are meant to complement each other and grow together? So, why are a lot of you these shy of the responsibilities that come with the institution?

The problem with a lot of chics these days is that you lot create this fictitious image of a guy in ya heads. And once you meet someone who has any semblance of this image on outside, you'll start troubling him about getting married/family. And when ol'boy gets stuck and decides to put a ring on it...and down the line he's not the "perfect" image you created - you'll start complaining, rather than carrying ya cross and dealing with the situation like a real woman should.

SAMBARRY:
Indeed. Because they are not ready to kiss your ases just like our mothers and grandmothers

Shymm3x:


What other jobs have women got in a man's house apart from kissing his arse, feeding him, and catering to him?

We need to take back to the days when the original black men reigned supreme.

SAMBARRY:
take it back na . who's holding you

Shymm3x:


These chics are holding me down. They all modern and shiit refusing to kiss man's arse and feed him lool.

Shymm3x:


Lmao @ start with his mum. And who's ready/complete for marriage?

Err, isn't marriage an institution where two are meant to complement each other and grow together? So, why are a lot of you these shy of the responsibilities that come with the institution?

The problem with a lot of chics these days is that you lot create this fictitious image of a guy in ya heads. And once you meet someone who has any semblance of this image on outside, you'll start troubling him about getting married/family. And when ol'boy gets stuck and decides to put a ring on it...and down the line he's not the "perfect" image you created - you'll start complaining, rather than carrying ya cross and dealing with the situation like a real woman should.

DollyParton1:


Complementing each other, doesn't mean one should stay put with a violent spouse. You grow together, by understanding each other and by supporting each other. And not by putting one's life at risk.
Its one thing if he realises his flaws and tries to work on it. Not when he starts capitalising on his temperament and expect the partner to walk around the house on egg shells.
What is one supposed to be doing with a violent spouse who throws metal/iron at the other.
Carrying a cross is when life happens. And not when one of the spouse refused to grow up or work on his flaws.

DollyParton1:


Your first paragraph is what I live for. I tell my friends that complain about the spouses that they didn't start whateever they are doing that is unpalatable out of no where. There would have been hints along the line. They just decided to be blind and deaf towards it.

Your last paragraph. .... she holds the key to his heart. What does that even mean?
A man should be a a man and work on whatever bad habit or character he has. Not waiting for his wife to start using keys to open his heart. So he throws iron/metal at his boss or coworkers too?
Or he used to lash out on his parents before he got married? If he could exercise self control in these areas, why couldn't he do the same with the wife.

Shymm3x:


Lol. Tupac said it best when he said, "no one knows my struggles, they only see the troubles". Do you honestly think a guy in his right mind would start throwing metal/iron at his wife? Who knows what triggered his madness?

Who knows if the guy was never really interested in marrying the woman in the first place. But you know how chics are: after a month of meeting them, everything is going to switch to talks about kids, family, and getting married. And boom, out of nowhere, they'll intentionally get pregnant. Now perhaps the guy has had enough and he was forced into something he never wanted in first place.

Nah, she can't run away - she needs to stay put, and help the guy grow.

Richy4:


If you are in a relationship, would you deny it that you don't know what to do to your spouse to get what you want? Please don't even try at all.

I know that it was a natural instinct given to every girl by nature. Every female human knows what to do to get stuffs or have their way with any male species. Be it a girl trying to get stuff from her father or woman trying to have her own way with the husband.

I don't really need to educate you on that because you know more than me. I still maintain that that lady the op was talking about knows what to do.

DollyParton1:


No one should cajole you into marrying them. Kids are born out if wedlock everyday, the world has not come to an end because of that. Marriage is not a walk in the park, u need to think deeply about the choice you make.
And if at all you get tired of the marriage of your spouse, why don't you try and work things out between yourself first, or take a break temporarily or permanently. Whatever suits you.
You don't have to throw metal at someone, you could kill someone or hurt them.