Travelling out of Nigeria can be
herculean. Sometimes, not because
you’ve got your documentation wrong,
but the silly profiling officials at the
airport try to make you go through at
every desk. Everyone you meet turns
himself into some sort of detective
profiling you for drugs or terrorism, or
just to strike a conversation upon which
you would be asked to tip them. Because
travellers are usually pressed for time,
one tries to avoid confrontations that
would cause delays on any counter.
Workers at the Nnamdi Azikiwe
International Airport in Abuja are
particularly notorious for these,
subjecting travellers to annoying
profiling.

At the Abuja airport, there is no clear
distinction of roles for officials. The
attendant who would screen your bag
asks you almost the same set of questions
as the one who would screen your
passport or frisk you before you enter
the departure lounge. It appears it is
every official’s job to collect information
from the traveller.

Here are some of the most common silly
questions I have been asked repeatedly,
especially in Abuja. Most times, these
attendants ask these question with a
seriousness that instantly convinces you
of the genuineness and the right to
know. I really do not see the reason for
most of these questions. I am usually
amused when I hear some of them.


1. Where are you going to?
I suppose every traveller using the
airport has a destination written on
their ticket or other travel documents. If
the final destination of a traveller has
any use for airport attendants, why
don’t they just go ahead and ask for
tickets or boarding passes?

Sometimes you even get this question
after you have handed in your travel
documents. The funny thing with this
question is that the officials asking do
not intend to document the answers in
any way; and if a traveller gives the
wrong answer, they never bother to
crosscheck. Maybe they ask so as to
break the ice with you.

2. When are you coming back?
This question usually comes after you
have provided a destination. The
question makes me feel the asking
officials either think I’m running away
or are already missing my stay in
Nigeria. How does when I am returning
from my journey enhance national
security or make the airport more
efficient? What if I give a date and
change my mind later?

3. What is in your bag? Let me see.
There are usually many things in a
travellers bag. From clothing to
accessories and gadgets. How do I start
listing that there is a toothpaste, a
bathing soap, a deodorant, cloths,
charger, papers etc.? The annoying thing
with this question is that after listing all
you can remember is stacked in your
bag, the asking official goes ahead to say
“open it let me see.” Whenever I hear
this question, I usually just drop my bag
and open it.

Security officials should just cut the
chase and demand to see the content of
my bag.

4. Are you on leave?
This is the most amusing question I have
ever been asked.

Really? How does my being on leave, or
not, bother an airport official? I mean, I
must say, this is the dumbest. After
telling the guy who asked me that
question, recently, I was not on leave, I
asked to know how the answer helped
his job. He instantly grew a stone face,
evaded eye contacts and said he
wouldn’t have asked if the question
wasn’t necessary.

5. Who are you going to see?
Do travellers always have to be going to
see someone? Can’t one just travel for
fun or business or even to go chill?
Sometimes I just want to answer: I am
going to see my grandfather’s friend’s
daughter’s maid who recently fell from
the moon during a vacation.

6. Are you back?
The confusion on my face most times
when I get this question from an
immigration or customs officer at
airports is usually epic. Would the asker
have seen me if I wasn’t back?
Sometimes I just nod and move on.

7. How much are you travelling with?
This question is particularly asked with
mischief in mind. To be clear, only the
Customs officials at the airport are
entitled to know how much money you
have on you. And for that, a form is
always provided. First time travellers
usually fall victim of this question. An
attendant asking this question usually
intends to convince the victim it is
illegal to travel with the amount
declared, with a promise to let it pass if
a tip is paid.

Meanwhile, unless you are smuggling
cash (and ordinary traveller’s rarely do),
most people travel with credit cards. The
irony is that the people who smuggle
cash are never asked questions, they get
VIP pass.

It is difficult to connect the dots between
how funded you are for trip and the
optimal performance of the airport.

8. Where do you work?
This one, you must surely hear severally
if you use the Nnamdi Azikiwe
International Airport in Abuja. It is
almost like the go to question for
attendants. When I hear this question,
often I wonder “are there offices whose
employees are not allowed to leave the
country?” Or has the law blacklisted
employees of some companies from
travelling?

Your answer to this question is usually
followed by “show me you ID card.”
I once asked an attendant who claimed
to be working for the drug law agency
why this mattered to them, and he said
drug traffickers would be inconsistent. I
perceived his answer as lame. Anyone
can claim an office and forge it’s ID.
What if a traveller is unemployed?
Would you stop her?

source: www.premiumtimesng.com/news/top-news/187267-eight-annoying-questions-nigerian-airport-officials-ask-international-travellers.html

Did you swallow anything you shouldnt have.

Ok! Adon ciyam

INTROVERT:
Did you swallow anything you shouldnt have.

am definitely goin to sue u.

Do u harbour any unwanted plant with you

Do u harbour any unwanted plant with you..

NDLEA: Do u have any banned substance on you?

Yes: I have 50kg of marijuana in my wallet - idiota

*Where did you get the passport you are carrying?


*Are you pregnant? (female).


*Hope you didn't borrow money or take loan for this trip?


*What's in your pocket?

I am sorry but I would have to object. Those questions are very valid. You will be amazed to find out that most people do not know where they are going, purpose of their trip and evidently we have seen people carry ban substance. This is just a question to validate Nigeria has done their screening and if you were found wanting abroad then you probably have lied at some point.

Manifest

INTROVERT:
Did you swallow anything you shouldnt have.

I have been asked this question once. I said no. then he asked for egunje. I said I did not have any egunje. next thing he did was to take me to a room where I was told to stand with my hands and legs stretched out on a rotating machine used for scanning swallowed drugs.
The operator asked me what I ate as there was some stuffs in my tummy. I told her amala.lol. They just freed me after I was told to register and sign that I was checked. funny people.

saxywale:

I have been asked this question once. I said no. then he asked for egunje. I said I did not have any egunje. next thing he did was to take me to a room where I was told to stand with my hands and legs stretched out on a rotating machine used for scanning swallowed drugs.
The operator asked me what I ate as there was some stuffs in my tummy. I told her amala.lol. They just freed me after I was told to register and sign that I was checked. funny people.

LMAO

manifest:
I am sorry but I would have to object. Those questions are very valid. You will be amazed to find out that most people do not know where they are going, purpose of their trip and evidently we have seen people carry ban substance. This is just a question t[b]o validate Nigeria has done their screening[/b] and if you were found wanting abroad then you probably have lied at some point.

Manifest

I dont agree with you, these questions are random and undocumented and doesnt in anyway prove screening has been done to any legitimate country. moreso the people asking the questions are not even asked by the appropriate staff

The customer officer asking you how much you have one you to the immigration officer asking you where you bought your indo mie

All nah extortion gimmick.