Hi NLDS,

The experience of being a child in the past has given me a sight about important lessons on child parenting. If I have to list the most important lessons a parent can teach to a child, I will put lessons on how to be independent, to be honest and to be confident in high ranks. There are strong reasons behind this.

To be independent is a lesson I believe to be the most important for everyone to survive in life. A person should not count on other people but must stand on his or her feet. Letting a child to do his or her personal duty early in his or her age is a great example to teach independence. He or she can try to water the plant, make the bed, or wash the dish all by his or her own to get this lesson. Increasing age, he or she will be able to do duties that are more challenging.

Have got a blog on parenting issues you can check it out and get all information for free!
http://childguidetrends..com
BEST OF LUCK

Tgirl4real:

Yea girl, I later saw the mail when I logged on.

Very soon I will send her to spend the weekend at your place so that I can rest.

But, I hope it's normal for her to still wake up to feed like that.


Guys,

Some days ago, I saw in the dailies and on TV that the Ist lady is holding a retreat. I wonder what they want to teach themselves. Is it how to cook or clean the house? Yeye people.

I think it's rather insensitive to publicise such an an event at this time. With people loosing lives and properties from Boko-haram to natural disaters to NLC strike.

hehehe abeg send her sharp sharp

they are probably going to discuss maybe issues that are affecting them esp as women

kingschuks

independent is quite important i agree

This thread has been really informative. Don't know why i had never come here before.

Pls, do not stop now. Keep it flowing.

I think this is a very good topic to discuss and a thread like this will keep growing. I think parenting in the African sense, on the whole, is seen as a favor to  a child rather than a duty. Africans generally, I strongly believe based on evidence, see their children as their property rather than their responsibility. Children's rights are non-existent in most homes thus the parents raise their children the way they see fit. Any intervention by an outsider would be met with "na ibi your pikin?" I am Ghanaian but I believe the trend here is similar to what pertains in Nigeria and Africa as a whole. Family planning which is the prerequisite for building a proper family structure is not in the dictionary of the average African. After all, the more children one has, the more respect he gains in the eyes of the community, abi? Even when it is so obvious these children are not being well-cared for!

However, I see a slight paradigm-shift in the philosophies of African men towards having and maintaining families. Gradually, African men are beginning to see the sense in having a small family size as opposed to large ones. The smaller the family, the greater the management and the lesser the failure rate. By and large, education plays a paramount role in this because middle-class families who are gradually emerging and finding themselves in white-collar occupations are placing less and less emphasis on having children.  People are spending longer hours at work and also fewer women are staying at home. A working couple is more likely to have few to no children than a non-working one. Better parenting therefore favors a child whose parents are well-educated and have good jobs.

i thought some of this were interesting

[size=14pt]18 Things I Want to Teach My Daughter About Being a Woman
- from essence[/size]



1. Pray. It sounds cliché, but having a relationship with God will keep you centered, humble and built to not fall apart every time a bad wind blows.

2. Cattiness is a stereotype. Women can compliment each other, genuinely admire one another, and never be in competition for a man, a job or anything else. Don’t believe the hype.

3. Never chase a guy. [/b]Anyone worth your time won’t make you come after him. If he runs, say bye-bye,  deuces.

4. [b]Respect your body. Don’t let yourself be reduced to boobs, butt and hips. They’re just accessories of your beauty, not the whole of your assets.

5. Act like a lady, get treated like a lady. Home training is getting to be more rare than real purses on Canal Street, but women who carry themselves with class get that treatment.

6. If he won’t wear a condom, bid him goodnight. Don’t even entertain somebody who would put their own health at risk, let alone yours.

7. Learn from other people’s mistakes. They happened before you for a reason. Take advantage of the opportunity to get a free life lesson without the headache of the drama.

8. Nude undergarments are your friend. Don’t be one of those chicks who slides white linen slacks over red panties and thinks it’s her style that’s stopping traffic.

9. Run far from a guy who doesn’t respect his mama. [/b]If he can’t treat the woman who brought him into the world like a queen, he probably isn’t going to do it for you, either.

10. [b]Don’t be afraid to be take risks, but take smart risks. Research, meditate and then be adventurous. A life full of regret isn’t a full life.

11. Don’t let your circumstances drain your ambition. Things are, at some point, going to suck. But that doesn’t mean you should stop striving toward your goals.

12. Never, ever expect a man to do for you what you can do for yourself, which is just about everything. If a dude comes along and wants to take care of you, that’s beautiful. But until he shows up -- and in case he never does -- learn how to do as much as you can.

13. Be serious about your money. Take care of your credit and learn how to budget what income you have. And don’t get talked into co-signing a loan for anyone. That good credit will be gone quicker than a sobering dude after a one-night stand.

14. Here’s the formula: marriage then babies. There’s a reason the Lord designed it that way. If you’re going to have sex, there are too many birth control options to wind up knocked up. Protect yourself.

15. Friends are going to come and go. Not everyone is going to be in your life forever. Enjoy them while they’re there but let them go if and when you grow out of them.

16. Take care of yourself. Your health is the most important thing you have, and it fuels the thousand and one things you want to do. Work out, eat well and drink water every day, even if you have to force yourself.



17. Laugh. Nobody likes a dud, and being dry and crotchety makes you look old way before your time.

18. Love yourself. Even when you don’t understand yourself, even if you have a muffin top, even if you lose a tooth. You’re perfectly imperfect.

AND THESE TOO:

*Have an open mind and embrace other human beings.
*Self-define your own existence and never leave it up to anyone else.
*Love yourself enough to never lower who you are as an individual.
*A man is not a plan.
*Surround yourself with positive people regardless of who and what they are and stay away from negative people because they will drain you emotionally.

*Never criticize or judge another woman/man based simply on her/his looks.
* Actions speak louder than words; judge people according to theirs.
*Never compare your life to others or wish you had there's.
*Think for yourself.
*Don't try to fit in to follow the crowd, be your own leader.
*Learn everyday as long as you live.
*You will fall, but it's what you do when you STAND-up that truly matters.
*Live life as if it was your last.
*Never worry about what other's think or say about you because life is too short to waste it on people who really don't matter. *There's freedom by living your life on your own terms.

*Looks will not determine your happiness. If you want happiness it's yours.
*Never gossip about others because those you gossip with will be gossiping about you.
*Get an education by any means necessary.
*Never compete with anyone but yourself.
*Take care of yourself first by making yourself a priority because you are number one.
*When and if you have children, respect them because they are people too.
*Respect yourself and respect others.
*Never believe that another human being is beneath you or above you because we all bleed and die the same ways.
*Sow good seeds so that you may reap the rewards. Because you reap what you sow.
*Be honest.


*Look people dead in the eyes when you talk to them.
*Be courageous, but carefully pick and choose your battles.
*Do not refer to other black people as N------ because it has the same connotations.
*Do not loan money that you can not afford to give and never borrow money that you can not afford to pay back.
*Live within your means even if you are well paid.
*Pay yourself first.
*Invest what you can afford to invest.
*Leave a legacy for your future generations.
*Seek entrepreneurship by providing a service that people can use.
*Think positive thoughts in order to live a positive life. So as a woman thinks so is she.
*You are not less than, so don't think it or act like it.


*See the world if you can, if not read all that you can.
*Find out what GOD means to you.
*Respect other peoples differences.
*Don't envy other's because it's not a good look.
* A woman is never vulgar or profane, only one who lacks confidence is.
*Give your time to help others because you also help yourself in the process.

@sissy
wonderful post. . .

netotse

na ur eyes hands be dis

longest tyme!

Nice forum.

It would be nice to discuss about the things that we (mothers) need the most that our children's creches, and primary schools do not provide.

For example, how can we get affordable ways to make our children learn stuff like swimming and other extra curricular activities especially in Nigeria.
How can we get help on organizing fun activities for our children

Very nice Sissy, thanks for those.

logic1:

Nice forum.

It would be nice to discuss about the things that we (mothers) need the most that our children's creches, and primary schools do not provide.

For example, how can we get affordable ways to make our children learn stuff like swimming and other extra curricular activities especially in Nigeria.
How can we get help on organizing fun activities for our children

These things you mentioned are definitely available in Nigeria, at least, I'm certain about Lagos, don't know about other states. If they're not found in schools, they're readily available at fun centres for children. I even know a couple of children clubs where they have lots of fun activities including swimming classes.

@ zayhal, can u mention names and locations? I am interested as well. Just that i have not heard of any.

Food for thought Sissy.

BTW, I was around for sometime, but I didn't see anybody then I got busy again. 

Sissy, I have a project I would like to discuss with u. Are u my buddy on fb? If yes, inbox me your email.

Expecting your response.

@Logic1, Zayhal is right. I plan to start something like that, but money still dey do ojoro.

Someone needs help

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-755648.0.html#msg9113704

Thank you all so much for this thread. Over the last two days I have read everything and I can only ask where have I been since? Please don't stop now o, lets all keep contributing, you have no idea who it might help.
Late congrats to Tgirl on your beautiful baby girl. I also wish sistawoman would come back, learnt a lot from her posts.

These days are just evil, heard recently of a 5 year old boy fingering girls in his class while the other members of the class looked on. Heard also of little girls of between 4 and 6 years old, opening their friends pants to put stickers on them. We all really need to be watchful, careful and more prayerful.

Thanks Iaabc,

Children learn very fast these days. And they copy what their parents do.Parents need to be careful of what they expose their children to whether individually or through the media. You will be shocked that some cartoons contain pornographic content.

We should watch it.

My friend posted this on her wall on facebook. It's so sweet

There comes a point in your life when 'FUN' no longer means clubbing and being out til 4am! It means Disney movies, family dinners, bedtime stories, long cuddles, a sometimes messy house and sleeping by 10pm. Becoming a parent doesn't change you, it makes you realize that the little people that God created thru U deserve the very best of your time!

^^^very true. Everything truly changes when a child comes into the picture. Life takes on a whole new meaning.

Tgirl4real:


There comes a point in your life when 'FUN' no longer means clubbing and being out til 4am! It means [b]Disney movies, family dinners, bedtime stories, long cuddles, a sometimes messy house and sleeping by 10pm. [/b]Becoming a parent doesn't change you, it makes you realize that the little people that God created thru U deserve the very best of your time!

who knew cartoons could be sooo interesting

too true. my favourite things on tv are mickey mouse clubhouse and mr maker unbelievable!

In addition to our list iaabc, I love Hand Manny and buzz bee

Hmm, i wonder when my LO will start watching cartoons. I spent money buying sing along, Mozart, Mickey mouse club, etc. He is not interested AT ALL. In fact, i think he views it as noise. However, he would want to watch African Magic. I have to make sure he has slept or is playing in his room b4 i can watch TV so he doesn't fall into my bad habit.

@ Blank,

Now u know he takes after u.

@Tgirl,

That is the scary part. What will oga say?

don't worry blank. give a few more months. Mine would also not spend time watching all the DVDs i bought and he preferred following me about like i was going to run away when the ones of tv played. As long as I am there, he will watch whatever I watch, so that is probably what is happening to yours. After a while though (thanks to God!), he now spends time enjoying Mickey mouse clubhouse, Special agent OSO and all the rest. Someitmes though, he will still do follow follow.

,

My kids will learn competitiveness from just observing me no matter what i do to avoid teaching them. God will help to meet or marry someone that can tone it down for them.

I will give the losers a price but a less price than the winners so that next time they will want the better price. Second best is really not good enough.

do you think the losing team should have been given a price?

Yes, cos I'm sure they came second and not last.

would you say that it doesn't anyway sort undermines the competitiveness that is at least in todays world is an important skill to have?

It doesn't. There s nothing wrong in appreciating their effort.

would you say it is better to encourage fairness over competitiveness or vice versa in kids

In kids, it is better to encourage fairness over competitiveness cos if they are too conscious of competition it might lead to bitterness and eventually hatred for the competitor.

Later in life, they will understand healthy competition and how fairness can come to play. The winner is not necessarily the best.

blank:

My kids will learn competitiveness from just observing me no matter what i do to avoid teaching them. God will help to meet or marry someone that can tone it down for them.

I will give the losers a price but a less price than the winners so that next time they will want the better price. Second best is really not good enough.

It is ok to strive to be the best, but nothing wrong if you are second best. You can always be the best in other things.

blank & Tgirl sorry for the misunderstanding that wasnt my question. i will ask it ltr

Hi everyone.
I dont know if this is the right thread for this but I would ask anyway. I have 2 little kids. One is 26mths and the other is 12 months. The older one(a boy) is not too keen on playing with his siter even when she trys to play with him. Once in a while he would hug and peck her but outside that nothing. Its getting me worried. Would this phase pass as they are getting older or is there something I can do help them bond?
Awaiting responses. Thanks