1. THE OGBOLOGBOS. These ones have okpolo(open) eyes....They have been in Uniport for donkeys years and they never get admitted. They hv gone through basic, certificate over n over again and their academic fruitlessness are now romancing with futile academic stagnancy. They knw virtually everything about Uniport...u just can't deceive dem BUT they dnt hv the Sacrosanct identity called "MATRIC NUMBER". 2. D'YOUNG SHALL GROW. Hmm these ones have secondary school written all over their naive physiognomies. Their hairdo is either a "lowcut" or "that poff poff thing".They have "Puberty" written all over their frontal and posterior contours. They r still trying 2 acclimatize with the university system...They just walk sheepishly around d school with JambPastQ in their phalanges & Sandals on their feet and admire "Unique students"...in their minds they'r like....."chai...wen am i gona wear dat skirt oo.....chai see dat girl's hair...e no fine...e fine....e no fine....e fine.....e no long.....e long............ah ah watapiiiiiiiiiin? 3. D' BOLOS. Hmmm these ones are modernized "odes"....they don't knw anything and they will never ask Questions.......u'll see them in choba campus looking for ICTC building....u'll see dem at abuja campus looking for U&C bank....and they'll never ask questions. They end up falling prey into d hands of uniport scavengars......Bolos be wise "always ask questions". 4. TUTORIAL MUMUS. These ones circumnavigate from one tutorial class to the other instead of sitting down ti read their JambPastQ. They are specialists at wasting money. hey! mumu go and read on your own. Anything u didnt knw before now is gone. stick with wat u already knw and dnt get ur cranial cavity more complicated. 5. PRAYER WARRIORS. Hmmmm.....these ones are suffering from spiritocratic olodoism and apostolic prostitutionism. They are scalar quantities that go for all church programs with just one prayer point...."Admission". More often than not; they usually end up in brother felix or brother prosper's room and the upward and downward motionism is instigated powerfully. 6. THE LOOKU LOOKU GALS. These ones have the talent of lookery. They will look at you until u feel like subliming.They'r mostly beautiful tho.. Earlier today, a postume lady accosted me...oh! my gush...I revere her for her unprecedented guts...She said hi..(with a sweet dovey sonorous voice) I am Tricia a postUme student. Are you free? can u show me around??i'm kinda new here. For few seconds, I was lost...it was unfathomable and mehn she was damn beauteous. In my mind I was like; Wat if I was a "badt guy"?? as the thought was running through my mind, she broke in and said dnt worry...my spirit said I shud trust you....I fear small sha o ....buh I really enjoyed the company...twas really extraordinaré. 7. OYA SHAKE BODY GALS. Hmmm these ones eh... body just dey sweet dem....they hv no idea wat they came for. They just paint their fish eyes and lips, looking like onitsha masquerades... They just walk to and fro the campus community, with their accentuated anatomical gluteal contours and edges, shaking their behinds in a ruthless mannerism and impulsively craving the testeronal indulgence of the sons of men. They just want to have a Uniport boyfriend by fire, by yansh, by force. UNA GO GET BELLE OOOOO....... TO BE CONTINUED.......... Goodluck with ur exams all the same. You are all welcome.. but be careful, dem dey borrow person penis and vagina 4 dis jungle o............SHINE YA EYESSSSSSS!!!! By:Ndubueze Endie Umunna. Meds nd surg. Uniport.

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Op, pls space your work. It looks clustered.

Lolzz...THE CIRCUM_NAVIGATORS:This ones will want to check out every single thing in that school,from the library,to the hostels,to the lecture rooms,to botanical garden,to to field,to lecturers lodge,to admin office,if possibble the VC's office,to every where checkable,even the toilet sef.....