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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / 5 People You’ll Meet In A Face Me I Face You House In Lagos (626 Views)
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5 People You’ll Meet In A Face Me I Face You House In Lagos by Adimine(m): 4:26pm On Aug 13, 2015 |
The tenement house which is popularly called face-me-i-face-you
or face-me-i-slap-you is a common housing system in Lagos. The
rooms are lined up opposite each other. The house has a general
kitchen with one or two bathroom and toilet that is used by all
occupants. This type of housing is largely occupied by lower and
middle cla$$ people in Lagos. In a face-me-I-face-you, you
meet different kinds of people.
Slum houses are a form of face-me-I-face-you settlements
The Loner
As much as there is a large room for interaction in a face-me-
I-face-you house in Lagos due to proximity of rooms and
facilities, you’re still likely to come across a neighbour who
thinks he is staying in a flat. He is not interested in mingling
with any other neighbour. The loner just wants to do things on
his own. He might decide to carve a space for himself in the
general kitchen and if it was possible, he would erect his own
toilet and bathroom. Trust other neighbours to see him as “over
proud”
The Unionist
That’s the neighbour who thinks his middle name is ‘Oshiomole’
and feels it is his right to champion the cause of all other
occupants. The unionist will definitely argue during a tenants’
meeting and question the landlord on why the tenants have to
contribute money to repair the roof if its leaking. The unionist
wants to know why the bill for electricity has increased and
possibly ask the landlord to help paint his room because the
walls look unattractive.
house
The Miser
A face-me-I-face-you apartment tries to establish co-operation
but a miser is likely to exist. The miser wants to enjoy all the
benefit the house has to offer but isn’t interested in paying for
it. Tell him to provide some money so you can get fuel for the
generator and he would refuse but would be the first person to
bring his phone and request to charge his phone. To add insult
to injury, he is the reason the electric cable has been
disconnected by NEPA because he has not paid his bills.
The Chief Tenant
The chief tenant is the tenant who has spent the most period of
years in the house after the landlord, of course. The chief
tenant therefore feels he deserves the same respect accorded to
the landlord. He is eager to provided unsolicited historical
accounts of tenants who have come and gone. The chief tenant
is likely to have a cordial relationship with the landlord so you
don’t want to mess with him.
The Educated
The Educated neighbour doesn’t mean he is the only educated
neighbour in the apartment but he’s likely to be the one who
communicates in English even when he knows every other person
in the house speaks Yoruba for example. The Educated is
referred to as ‘Alakowe” by the Yoruba-speaking Lagosians. The
Alakowe is likely to warn you not to converse in ‘vernacular’
with his children so don’t dare. He is a doctor, teacher, lawyer,
counselor, etc. to other tenants who thinks because he educated,
then he is automatically a problem solver. You’re not on the
same level with him if you can’t speak English well so look
before you leap!
If you live in a face-me-I-face-you apartment, which category do
you belong to?
Source- NAIJ |
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