If you've been following most job vacancy websites, you must have seen Diageo aka Guinness is mass hiring. It was never my intentions to work in a beer or spirit making enterprise but an unemployed girl had no choice but to apply.

I submitted my application and received a confirmation email along with a link for a psychometric test. Psychometric tests scare me as much as a GMAT test cos technically, there are no right or wrong answers.

Test was thirty minutes long and I had no idea there is a clear difference between Strongly Agree,
Mostly Agree
Completely Agree and
Agree as these were the options we were given for most questions. Section B of the test had ten question on different scenarios and I just did guesswork cos I was already having headache from redefining 'agree'.

Once I submitted, I received an email almost immediately with a feedback on my test. The only word that caught my attention was "UNFORTUNATELY" and that word is the 'trademark' of all regret emails so what I did next was trash Diaego mails, empty my trash and marked sender as spam in anger.
Last Friday evening, I was going through my spam box in traffic when I found four mails from Diaego, I quickly checked and realised one was a congratulatory email for scaling through the test, one was an invite to participate in a video interview and two were reminders that my deadline was few hours away.
And there I was, stuck in a 7PM traffic on my way home from church with less than twelve hours to prepare and take an interview.
Actually I had up to twenty four hours but I was running a monthly night plan subscription for my PC which was due to expire 6AM the following day and truth be told, one can't rely on crappy internet service for video calls during the day.
I got home shortly after 8pm and waited impatiently for my network to come up by 9PM. I was still in my church attire and a head scarf cos my hair was unkempt. My sis came into the room to say I better dress like I am attending a real interview and replace the scarf with her wig if I didn't want to receive a regret mail based on my appearance.
The whole idea of applying heavy makeup, wearing a wig and wearing a suit jacket with wrapper underneath at 9PM when I was not stepping out was awkward but I took her advise nonetheless.
What worsened the entire situation was the number of people at home that kept coming into the room to ask what is going on with me and I kept lying I am testing outfits for Sunday.
Fastforward to 9:30pm or so, I was all set in front of my computer, reading the instructions for test when PHCN seized power. *sigh*
I never even considered the possibility of that.
Our generator is faulty so I got a lamp and tested my computer webcam but I could barely see myself. I lighted three candles and though the lightning improved, I changed my mind cos I didn't want Diaego to think I was doing juju with candles. I decided to go back to bed and wait for PHCN to restore power.
The last thing I remember was reading a career website online when I started feeling dizzy. I don't know when I dozed off but when I opened by eyes, it was 5:17am and PHCN had restored power. I laid still in bed with my eyes open until it suddenly dawned on me I had an interview to take.
Quickly, I got out of bed and powered on my laptop. The first screen that appeared once I clicked the test link was a webcam for a practice test. It was then I noticed from the screen that my wig was faced to the back from sleeping carelessly and my face was swollen with large eyebags from sleeping in excessive makeup.

Man, I couldn't even face my horrible reflection in the webcam.
The instructions read 'It is a recorded video interview.' i.e a question would be written on one side of the screen with a time allotted for each question and the webcam will record my responses and automatically submit.
First question was 'tell me about yourself. I opened my mouth to speak but was stuttering my educational background several times until I ran out of time. Second question was on my skills and this time, I googled my answer and was just reading someone else's skill directly from my phone. Third question was on a leadership conflict or something'. I just started a 'controversial sentence' without knowing where it was going or how it was going to end until the timer cut me short.
4th question, I was considering stripping nude to answer so they'll know how desperate I am.
By the time we got to 5th question, I felt like I was making a Frank Donga video. Infact, Frank Donga seemed way more smarter than me. The whole idea of filming myself and trying to talk smart to no one in particular during the early hours of the morning was just stupid!
6th question, I told my webcam I don't know and time is too short.
7th question was a case study. Before I could analyse my answers, PHCN disconnected our electricity again and left me stranded in darkness. I just sat still and thought of life until time ran out. I didn't even bother with 8th question. I clicked the next button and ended the interview.
I haven't gotten a feedback mail since then. The guys at Guinness would probably have a field day laughing at me. If video interviews are the in thing, then well, I guess I am in deep shit!

http://www.naijasinglegirl.com

Wow.

How painful that must be.

I was thinking a few rechargable lamps and a new laptop battery will do. Once your laptop is fully charged.

It is your first. It no doubt caught you unprepared. Next time you will be prepared.

This is computer age.

I would advise you to put up a reminder, task or alarm like 30 minites to the time. Laptops, andriod phones and other have such application. Even tv sets. It doesnt matter if you are awake at the time. There is an important interview coming and you are excited about it. That is what matters. Some webcams have their own lightening.

You don't exactly need a laptop. A nice phone will do

H

Too much kulele insyd new...mtn na true, call 11 special people for half d price trutalk..na u go talk talk talk talk u go yan d go..trutalk

Too much kulele insyd new...mtn na true, call 11 special people for half d price trutalk..na u go talk talk talk talk u go yan d go..trutalk

Ehn ehn...

Please naijasinglegirl, Always try and attach a disclaimer to your stories cos most gullibles might be lead to believing they are real

BTW, nice write up

@Naijasinglegirl.

Nice sarcasm of our electric supply situation. But, I'm actually facing a near exact situation of what you just posted. Few months ago, I installed a home recording studio and every time I begin recording there comes a power outage. Several times I've been in the middle of an important recording when an outage occur, it happened even this morning. The worst part is I can't use the generator, because the noise coming off my neighbours generators and mine renders my recording useless. It's very frustrating, to say the least.

.

musicwriter:
@Naijasinglegirl.

Nice sarcasm of our electric supply situation. But, I'm actually facing a near exact situation of what you just posted. Few months ago, I installed a home recording studio and every time I begin recording there comes a power outage. Several times I've been in the middle of an important recording when an outage occur, it happened even this morning. The worst part is I can't use the generator, because the noise coming off my neighbours generators and mine renders my recording useless. It's very frustrating, to say the least.

Accept my sympathy.

NSG sorry ooo

" Second question was on my
skills and this time, I googled my answer and
was just reading someone else's skill directly
from my phone"
That got me cracking badt girl and then stripping unclad Lol


BTW, is it for real

Blame your village winches

LieDetector:
Please naijasinglegirl, Always try and attach a disclaimer to your stories cos most gullibles might believe that your write up is a true life story.

BTW, nice write up

Just like the first commenter.

Lmfao!! Well you failed to plan, so what outcome do you expect? A miracle?

I didn't even no there are coy who do this video interview thingy Sef. I will love to experience it

LieDetector:
Please naijasinglegirl, Always try and attach a disclaimer to your stories cos most gullibles might believe that your write up is a true life story.

BTW, nice write up

Ok great... I understand ur d lie detector of nairaland sent out to ruin our beloved naijasinglegirls stories.... And so what if d stories ain't true? And those it affect performance of jobseekers when they try to find jobs? Don't you think All her stories have funny morals to them to help jobseekers even prepare well and be on alert at all times? But I guess you never realized this because ur mind, brain, heart, body and soul is so bent on looking for people to ruin their creativity... Lie detector... Nice name though... Suites ur personality... For record purpose though it's been proven time and time again that lie detectors are not reliable and information from them are most times a bigger lie than d persons story it was supposed to check for lies, just google effectiveness of lie detectors and you will be shocked too

Hilarious as always, thumb up girl.

I dey come. E be like say Mama Nkechi house get light. Make I go change phase, then I go come comment.

urbighead:


Ok great... I understand ur d lie detector of nairaland sent out to ruin our beloved naijasinglegirls stories.... And so what if d stories ain't true? And those it affect performance of jobseekers when they try to find jobs? Don't you think All her stories have funny morals to them to help jobseekers even prepare well and be on alert at all times? But I guess you never realized this because ur mind, brain, heart, body and soul is so bent on looking for people to ruin their creativity... Lie detector... Nice name though... Suites ur personality... For record purpose though it's been proven time and time again that lie detectors are not reliable and information from them are most times a bigger lie than d persons story it was supposed to check for lies, just google effectiveness of lie detectors and you will be shocked too

OK I'm now a bad person going about to ruin peoples creativity as per you. I can not be able to tell if you happen to be her second handle. But the status quo remains that you should start attaching disclaimer to your stories. I do hope it sinks into your brain and you save yourself further hassle as any attempt to make me sway in your opinion would be futile.

As for my username, this is a faceless forum and anonimosity is irrevocably paramount. I don't give a baby's shittt if you choose to use your parents name as your username. My choice of username has got nothing to do with my real self.

Have a nice day

urbighead:


Ok great... I understand ur d lie detector of nairaland sent out to ruin our beloved naijasinglegirls stories.... And so what if d stories ain't true? And those it affect performance of jobseekers when they try to find jobs? Don't you think All her stories have funny morals to them to help jobseekers even prepare well and be on alert at all times? But I guess you never realized this because ur mind, brain, heart, body and soul is so bent on looking for people to ruin their creativity... Lie detector... Nice name though... Suites ur personality... For record purpose though it's been proven time and time again that lie detectors are not reliable and information from them are most times a bigger lie than d persons story it was supposed to check for lies, just google effectiveness of lie detectors and you will be shocked too

Some people are just sadistic IN NATURE! No thanks to the miserable life they are living in reality.


Nice one NSG! Keep making us smile! Lol .

nice 1.. keep it up. #NSG

NSG

Nice write up NSG

hilarious and very funny too. whatever that means.

OK oooo

we know it will definitely get to the promised land no matter how long it will take