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When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" - Romance - Nairaland

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When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by delectablegyal(f): 7:00am On Aug 17, 2015
We had a great time on air on Sunday 7th June, 2015 on Top Radio 90.9FM discussion programme #Sincerelymen (5.00pm-7.00pm), I am sure those who called in and those who listened in too had interesting time.

In the course of the programme, a certain grandma called in to ask the regular relationship pregnancy before marriage question and that prompted me to write on this to at least amplify the reasons people want their fiancee or wife-inlaw-to-be pregnant before wedding commitment and to suggest way out of that dilemma.

Over and over many single ladies, even Christian ladies have had to face this challenge of being asked to get pregnant before wedding. And I often say if God did not approve pre-marital sex, He certainly will not approve pre-marital pregnancy.

WHY PEOPLE INSIST ON PRE-MARITAL PREGNANCY
There are many reasons people; fiance or in-laws-to-be insist on pre-marital pregnancy, some of which are;

1.To ascertain the fertility status of the wife-to-be due to fear that the young wife may not conceive after wedding

2.Fear that evil forces or people who may witness the lavish wedding may want to hinder the young wife from getting pregnant

3.Fear that the young wife may have lost her womb due to her past (real or imaginary) escapades.

4.To ascertain the competence of the wife-to-be to satisfy her husband sexually.
THE LIES

There are many lies that people tell when you ask them why do you want me to get pregnant before wedding?’’. Some of which are;
1.It is an African thing

2.To protect the young couple from barrenness
Friends, these lies are from the pit of hell. They do not hold water. It is not an African thing to get pregnant before marriage. I know of the Yoruba and the Igbo (of the South and Eastern part of Nigeria) cultures of old where families are celebrated when their daughter was ‘met’ at home. ‘Met’ at home means she is a virgin. These cultures and traditions of old encourages morality and uphold purity before marriage. Although it will be inaccurate to say these traditions and customs of old among these tribes in Nigeria no longer holdsway, rather I think it is more of family upbringing and individual re-birth as children raised from those families where purity before marriage is emphasised. It is not an African thing to get pregnant before wedding!

Also, you would observe that all the 4 points listed above have one common underlying factor which is FEAR. I often say to those I counsel, especially Christians, that fear and faith cannot co-mingle. You cannot operate in fear and expect that your faith will grow. No wonder the Bible says you cannot serve God and mammon.

Am I saying principalities and powers don’t exist? Yes, they do exist, but unto whom you yield yourself you are a servant thereof is what the Scripture says. If you are Born Again and Spirit filled, there is no enchantment against you nor divination from hell that will work against your marital fulfillment in Jesus Mighty Name. For as long as you remain even with your Maker, God that you serve and worship has a responsibility to protect you and your spouse. And He is too loving to be irresponsible in discharging His duties towards us as His children. So, I say to you FEAR NOT!
Jesus said;
“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon’’
Mathew 6 Vs 24, Luke 16 Vs 13
Jesus said further;
“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell’’Mathew 10 Vs 28
Even Paul wrote to Timothy saying;
‘’For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind’’
2 Timothy 1 Vs 7
Fear will put you in bondage. Fear will make you break the laws of God and that of man. Fear will not do you any good but will ensure your faith if stunted and demobilised. Nobody can be an effective believer while operating in fear!

If it is true that fear is the reason people insist on pregnancy before marriage, does it mean you have no fear of miscarriage after wedding? Does it mean once you take in before marriage the evil ones can no longer afflict you? Does it mean every woman who take in can sustain the pregnancy up till 9 months?

I know a lady who I learnt got wedded with pregnancy but lost the pregnancy shortly after marriage and more than 10 years after, she is yet to conceive again. See, you got to make up your mind to go on with God alone all the way. Those who go on with God all the way never looses and will never ever loose!

FACT ABOUT DELAY IN CONCEPTION:

In 2011, I wrote a Book by the title THIS TIME SHALL PASS and I did enumerate the causes of delay in the fruit of the womb and suggested many solutions that people can be guided by. I have received testimonies upon testimonies on it. You can get the book at CRM BOOKSHOP AT RCCG REDEMPTION CAMP, Lagos Ibadan Expressway or Latter Rain Assembly Boookshop, plot 4 Akilo Road, Ogba or Book Affairs, suite 28 POWA Shops opposite MKO garden Alausa, Ikeja.

There are many reasons why couples encounter delay in the fruit of the womb and many of the time people think the woman is the cause. I often wonder why people don’t look at it holistically that it takes two for pregnancy to occur. My personal doctor who is a general practitioner and a consultant gynecologist once told me that for majority of couples who are yet to conceive, the problem lies with their husbands. He said experience has shown to him that when they conduct all test you find that the woman is okay. When they ask the man to come some begin to dodge and often times when they submit themselves to the rigours of test, it is often proven that the man is the cause of the delay in conception. So, if you are trying to impregnate your fiancee and you are actually inadequate to impregnate her, how will you achieve your aim?

SO, HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS DILEMMA?

1.Involve your Pastors if you worship in a Bible believing church and let them intervene by counselling the person or people insisting on pregnancy before marriage.

2.Pray to God about this because you cannot build a good and lasting thing like marriage on a faulty foundation. Sex before marriage is building marriage on sand rather than on Christ the Solid Rock!
PREGNANCY IS NOT A GUARANTEE FOR WEDDING
Interestingly before the programme was over that Sunday, someone sent in a text to lament that she has a 3 year old son that her fiance has not been taking care of. They were supposed to wed after she took in but here she is 3 years after nothing has happened. So, there is no guarantee that your fiance will marry you even after you conceived and delivered your baby. Unfortunately, you will be increasing the population of single mothers outside of wedlock! Those who have attempted to use pregnancy to trap their men into marriage can share their tons of tales of woe and you need not be part of the number!!
Friends, Jesus said;
‘’Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you’’Luke 10 Vs 19

Do you have authority to trample on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy? Except you are Born Again, you have no right to use the authority of the Name of Jesus, of His Word and of His Blood.

Why do you think God created the marriage institution? Why do you think He who created the institution will watch you go barren? Do you even know God is also a stakeholder in every marriage, that He wants us to be fruitful? Do you know God has our interest at heart? Do you know God does not give anything good and add sorrow to it? Do you know God is a loving and a caring Father and that His thought towards us are thought of peace, to give us a future and a hope?

Friends, what we do reflect largely our knowledge of God and the extent of faith and trust we have in Him and in His word.

If you are a true Christian, stop asking your fiancee to take in before marriage. It is not Biblical to do so. We know what your values are and who you believe by what you do or ask someone to do!
Still Yours in Matters of the Heart


Source:
http://adegboyegailori.com/when-your-fiance-says-get-pregnant-or-forget-about-wedding-2/

22 Likes

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by Stanleyafam(m): 7:02am On Aug 17, 2015
Test driving

Ehen! This is actually the trend in naija, u don't have to blame the guys cos they don't trust the girls, most of these girls sef have more postinor in their blood than oxygen, after cohabitation wt their bf for 4 yrs in school, they break up n decide to hook a brother up.. but guys shld fear God, Fornication is bad!

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by misspicy(f): 7:03am On Aug 17, 2015
I had to take my time to read this write up and it is an eye opener....praise the Lord somebody!!!!!grin

25 Likes

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by slap1(m): 7:04am On Aug 17, 2015
Some people just type as it comes to them. At least highlight the salient points. It's Monday morning.

27 Likes

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by bewla(m): 7:08am On Aug 17, 2015
testing no they spoil food now

5 Likes

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by ibkgab001: 7:09am On Aug 17, 2015
That is really trending now


I support click "like"


Against click " share "


I predict Hye 's have it good morning NIGERIA

36 Likes 8 Shares

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by Nobody: 7:11am On Aug 17, 2015
misspicy:
Lai lai
So Pregnancy without marriage is wrong.... Or is it just you?
Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by Nobody: 7:13am On Aug 17, 2015
slap1:
Some people just type as it comes to them. At least highlight the salient points. It's Monday morning.
Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by Nobody: 7:13am On Aug 17, 2015
ibkgab001:
That is really trending now

I support click "like"

Against click " share "

I predict Hye 's have it good morning NIGERIA
"AYES"




Morning

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by misspicy(f): 7:15am On Aug 17, 2015
Freemanan:

So Pregnancy without marriage is wrong.... Or is it just you?
Well its wrong in d two ways I know,wch is my culture and religion,and I dont pray to.be.in a tight situation as that buh if d trial comea I pray for the strenght to stand by my belief.

6 Likes

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by Nobody: 7:16am On Aug 17, 2015
From a Christian perspective, I believe the Op is on point. But generally speaking, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it... The reasons behind it might sucks but the act is absolutely Cool...

3 Likes

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by Nobody: 7:17am On Aug 17, 2015
misspicy:

Well its wrong in d two ways I know,wch is my culture and religion,and I dont pray to.be.in a tight situation as that buh if d trial comea I pray for the strenght to stand by my belief.
Issorai. Love conquers all tho.
Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by AfroKnight: 7:24am On Aug 17, 2015
There are fertility tests na. Do you need to knock her up before you know she's fertile?

I don't subscribe to it cos the lady is wholly at risk here. The guy can just decide to end the whole thing after a small disagreement. After all, he is not the one carrying the baby in his belly.

Then the babe will join the ever increasing list of Baby Mamas.

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by donholy28(m): 7:26am On Aug 17, 2015
1.To ascertain the fertility status of the wife-to-be due to fear that the young wife may not
conceive after wedding
2.To check d size of her hole...if na borehole,Run!
3.Fear that the young wife may have lost her
womb due to her past (real or imaginary)
escapades.
4.To ascertain the competence of the wife-to-be
to satisfy her husband sexually.
These are d main reasons…but its d girls that put men in this...dem go useless their body then an innocent man go marry them and suffer...Dont trust girls...but am against d pregnancy before marriage act

3 Likes

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by Tallesty1(m): 7:27am On Aug 17, 2015
*singing* I am walking away, sometimes you will see a girl that have aborted her womb, I am walking away.



It's not fear most times, it is just the situation of things.


I won't ask any girl to get pregnant for me before marriage and I don't have anything against the people that do because the world no be am again.


Some girls will date away all their chocolates and candies, thereafter they will look for an unlucky guy and hold him down with this for better for worse rubbish.


Press your mango to know if e ripe reach inside before you buy am. No be crime, if she no want make she go. No be by force.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by ikeepitreal(m): 7:33am On Aug 17, 2015
Didn't read shii
Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by kelot(f): 10:33am On Aug 17, 2015
donholy28:
These are d main reasons…but its d girls that put men in this...dem go useless their body then an innocent man go marry them and suffer...Dont trust girls...but am against d pregnancy before marriage act
Abeg o dem dey useless the body by themselves? No be the same "innocent" men dey useless them?

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by DearDealsz: 3:07pm On Aug 17, 2015
lol
Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by ignis: 3:08pm On Aug 17, 2015
Whatever rock your boat.
Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by Nobody: 3:08pm On Aug 17, 2015
i couldnt do it, tho still single but I' m glad I didnt

5 Likes

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by ladyF(f): 3:08pm On Aug 17, 2015
Me, I can't o. Get pregnant outside marriage because? Dem go disown me for haus sef!

If you cannot come and do the sensible thing and wed a lady properly before bearing kids up and down, pls forget about the marriage. Marriage is not for u. I am not a baby factory.

It's [size=20pt]LadyF [/size] again grin grin grin

15 Likes

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by missKiffy(f): 3:08pm On Aug 17, 2015
Nice one, holding a wife to be to ransom to get pregnant before the marriage is wrong

1 Like

Re: When Your Fiance Says "Get Pregnant Or Forget About Wedding" by pretydiva(f): 3:09pm On Aug 17, 2015
God bless u op. This should serve as an eye opener 2 everyone. Premarital sex is a sin. Marriage is honorable n d bed undefile.

5 Likes

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