What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? - Romance - Nairaland
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| What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 3:54am On Mar 28, 2009 |
So you're ex-girlfriend/boyfriend's birthday is approaching, what are you going to do?? |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 3:56am On Mar 28, 2009 |
Buy her a token. The thought is really all that matters. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 3:58am On Mar 28, 2009 |
That's nice, I always never understood how ex's can be enemies, maybe distant friends, but enemies, that's another topic in itself. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 3:59am On Mar 28, 2009 |
That's nice, I always never understood how ex's can be enemies, maybe distant friends, but enemies, that's another topic in itself. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Gabry(f): 3:59am On Mar 28, 2009 |
eX  derpendin ooo For me I will just give a card |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 4:00am On Mar 28, 2009 |
P.s. I can't seem to edit any of my posts  . This topic was supposed to be a poll, and when I go 'back', it creates a new reply/topic. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 4:00am On Mar 28, 2009 |
The modify button has been tempo disabled |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 4:01am On Mar 28, 2009 |
I felt the same way about exes. How could these same two people who constantly professed their love for each other every night suddenly go cold ? It's human nature. The scorn of love. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 4:17am On Mar 28, 2009 |
That is why I have always prized myself with my level head. Sometimes I'm too analytical, but it's all in a desperate attempt to minimise the chances of regret. Despite being heartbroken, I knew there would be a day I would be able to say his name again without being emotional, I refused to cut all ties (also I become very nostalgic at times too - reminising the past). I agreed to be friends, knowing that I would be in pain, but in the end I would learn a lot more about myself - AND I have!! I never understood how love could turn to hate, I rarely tell people I don't love, that I love them, in fact I never told the ex that I loved him, and yet I was still unable to fathom extreme hate. Even in my moments of extreme anger, I couldn't bring myself to hurt him or banish him. I don't know if that's good or bad though. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Sissy3(f): 4:20am On Mar 28, 2009 |
why should i buy him anything for this b"day  we are "EX", i dont do the after break up friendship thing once it is over, it is over for me, no friendship, no calls |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 4:20am On Mar 28, 2009 |
I think there's a blue period. A period where you are deeply hurt, so you feel the need to ask so many questions because you want closure. You forget that you are now broken up and this person owes you nothing. He or she does not have to answer to you. I know, I know, it hurts. How could someone just completely permeate your life, come into it, only to suddenly walk out after 7 months or 18 months or how ever long the duration. But that's the risk you take when you open your heart to love. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by DeReloaded: 4:21am On Mar 28, 2009 |
You ignore it. Ex means past tense. Think of your own birthday. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 4:21am On Mar 28, 2009 |
And I think cutting off contact while pretending that the person doesn't exist is a coping mechanism to help you get past the hard time. He no easy o. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 4:23am On Mar 28, 2009 |
Did you say EX ? Pssht. . . just call out of the goodness of your heart to say a happy birthday. If the break up was awful and neither of you have strived to bother maintaining contact, forget him or her. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 4:32am On Mar 28, 2009 |
C2H5OH: It's actually not a tough decision, but I struggle between what my heart wants to do and what I know I deserve. I know that I deserve to move on and this person who STILL fails to realise the hurt should somehow be indebted to me. All these stories on Nairaland have got me thinking things, reading about guys who are remorseful about that ONE pleasant girl they did wrong, THAT WAS ME!!  Anyways, I want to call and wish him happy birthday, friends tell me no, I know I shouldn't feed his ego (he's always professing how awesome he is on Facebook status, and bragging about his pulling power), I think it'll mean something to him, but I don't ower him. To clarify, this topic is not about gifts, but actions. Will you act on his birthday or just ignore it?? |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 4:39am On Mar 28, 2009 |
I don't know if the old saying applies, dear, but you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Your ex is stuck in a routine of having drinks or nights out with the boys. It is convenient for him and he is not ready to change that about himself. Do not wait up for him. He might have thought he was ready to turn a new leaf in his life to settle down with you, but he thought wrong. It sucks when you feel like you went out on a limb to put yourself out there for someone who doesn't deserve it. You invested so much time and effort in your relationship for your partner who doesn't really appear to care as much. You are left wondering if it's all your fault, you keep questioning how it went wrong or what you did to chase this person away. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 4:42am On Mar 28, 2009 |
C2H5OH: I'm not sure if that is your generic advice, BUT THANK GOD FOR YOU!! It's like you're on the inside of my head (and I hope it's not because we agree). You must have paid attention to all those posts *shakes head* I posted agesss ago. I'm still friends with all my exs, (including the most recent), the other ones are cool people, understanding and I would call any of them (except some I would just Facebook). BUT - this one is a toughie, I think I will just do whatever comes on the day. I hope I'm not feeling hormonal though when the time comes. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by DeReloaded: 4:44am On Mar 28, 2009 |
If you must contact, let it be a quick text nd make sure its LATE. would be better day after sed "Happy Belated Birthday". the end. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 4:46am On Mar 28, 2009 |
DeReloaded: Hahaha, is that what your technique is?? I'm guessing you don't like your exs, cos if I got that text it would either piss me off or I would just not be phased by it and ignore it (and would not respond) ?? |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 4:48am On Mar 28, 2009 |
DeReloaded: I like it I like it, |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 4:49am On Mar 28, 2009 |
However, if you send it the day after, it will seem intentional, cos if you didn't care enough to remember, why do you care enough to send a late message, most people just forget about it, once you've forgotten a distant friend's birthday, you wait 'til the next year. It'll seem like a game, I'm tired of games!! |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 4:51am On Mar 28, 2009 |
Even if you are, you must resist the urge to tell him you miss him. The last thing you want to do now is put him back in control. He might get this arrogant feeling that he has you wrapped around his pinkie. You have proven to yourself that things get better with time. No longer are you under the impression that you can't be whole without this person that dominated your life for so many months. I still think it's sad that this grown man refuses to look past his own selfish life to cleanly break up with you. No matter how wasted you felt your love was, you have shown that you have more decency flowing through your blood than he does. You should never feel bad for caring about him the way you did. He just wasn't the right one. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by DeReloaded: 4:54am On Mar 28, 2009 |
topup: Only a female will think that deep about a text, Im sure he'll reply wth "Thanks" and that will be that or maybe a "Thanks. Hope you're good. ". Frankly for your sake I hope its just "Thanks" |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by timmfikk(m): 8:32am On Mar 28, 2009 |
C2H5OH: Do you think calling only is ok? |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Nobody: 9:17am On Mar 28, 2009 |
Birthdays are meant to be remembered by ur family members,friends or lovers.But if he doesn't fall within d category,then let him be,but if u still consider him as a friend,then there is need for u to wish him happy b'day.U can get him a happy birthday card or just send him an ordinary text with no strings attached,else everything u do will be translated wrongly,cos he might feel u still miss him,n if he's a bad guy he might send u a very bad text message lik, 'i thought i was done with u' or 'pls my girlfriend dont like this' or even 'dont u have better things to do' and trust me,this would hurt more than the initial heartbreak n u wouldn't want to experience such again |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by iice(f): 7:06pm On Mar 28, 2009 |
I wish them all happy birthdays if i remember. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by Pataki: 9:03pm On Mar 28, 2009 |
@ topic, Naturally, it takes a concerted effort for me to remember birthday. More importantly, when she is now my ''ex'' that the relationship was dreadful and a living horror? I simply just allow it to pass. Even if it comes to mind. Like today is the birthday of one of my ex (just remembered now  ). Why should I bother to send her a text or call her? I expect of her to be in another torrid love affair, and not having her or myself to remember of one another's birthday. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 9:03pm On Mar 28, 2009 |
DeReloaded: Lol, sorry, but you're the one outlining a whole strategy for purposefully delaying the birthday text. If someone you think is still into you, texts you the day after your birthday, depending on your ego, you will think that they really did not want to forget wishing you happy birthday, and that would translate to mean that they still have you in mind. I'm not planning nay strategies, I opened this topic, to see how most people would deal with this issue. tiniyata: Assuming that I still want to get him back, this would hurt me, but instead this would give me a reason to dislike him, right now all the feelings of hate or strong dislike and pain have vanished, and I can no longer pinpoint why I should be mean or insensitive. I am not saying my text will make his day, or even that I will text. I think if he told me to get lost, that would be great. I have told this story to my friends and I have got the typical 'you are holding a grudge, you are obviously not over him.' but then when I say 'I might text.' others say 'Why are you giving him all this attention?' I think I need to listen to myself, but it's hard sometimes, friends always feel to comment and say 'I told you so.' or 'If you had asked me, I could have told you that was coming.' In all honesty, they are as clueless as I am about the person I'm dealing with. A simple text will do. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 9:11pm On Mar 28, 2009 |
Tell your heart to shut the Bleep up. The heart usually takes a lot longer to heal after a break up. I think you should do what you think is logically appropriate to you. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 9:28pm On Mar 28, 2009 |
C2H5OH: Logically, I shouldn't text him at all. I'm not going with my heart, or logic, I'm trying to achieve something that doesn't exist. How am I going to be sure that I won't regret going with my logic?? I don't love him, so my heart is not in it that way. But if you know me (which I understand is quite unrealistic over Nairaland), you would know that I find it very difficult to do spiteful things, my conscience works overtime. I know what's best for me, and I have killed all hope of us getting back together. However, I can't bring myself to do things for the sake of revenge. Any of my other friends would get a Facebook message, and that was what I had in mind. What would be the benefit of ignoring his birthday to me? It would simply start the whole cycle of ignoring him and he ignoring me. I think I need to make it clear that we have facebook, and are friends. I wish that I had never added him now, through facebook it's a lot more difficult to ignore people, and with birthday reminders, the implications of forgetting a person's birthday is even greater. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by C2H5OH(f): 9:37pm On Mar 28, 2009 |
Sweetie, you are not being asked to do anything spiteful to him, or to do something that would intentionally hurt him. Facebook actually sounds like the best way to holler at him. Leave a public message on his wall wishing him a Happy Birthday. no strings attached, no hiding behind the wall to intend another meaning. nothing! just happy birthday. |
| Re: What Are You Going To Do For The Birthday? by topup: 9:53pm On Mar 28, 2009 |
It's good to come to an agreement  I wonder what most people do for their exs. I have a friend whose ex will always call her on her birthday and she just texts him. It's the way it played out, he disappeared on her, and when she broke up with him, he was deeply hurt. He makes sure to send her a sweet text everytime, so you can see how different people handle things differently. |
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