freecocoa:
I don't agree with no 5 and 2 totally.

Some people are just insecure no matter what you do, also someone being depressed doesn't have to be the fault of a partner, like some other issues besides relationship matters can't cause depression.

Truckpusher:
There is no subject matter that can't be subjected to some form of open intelligent assumptions where it matters.

You were totally right with what you posited but again if I decide to juggle the list and place those ones above the ones you faulted then you can agree with me that op was right after all.

A partner that constantly abuses you emotionally and psychologically can reduce your self worth and bring you into a state of low self esteem and this alone is enough to cause some form of mild depression.

refreshrate:


i think what the OP means here is generally without the partner im the environment or thought of the person, non of these traits exhibit themselves.

Relationship cant cause depression? Try look wedding pictures na, the girls are always smiling happily...look at the husbands face.
You think its described as the girls happiest day for fun?
Na only the girl dey the marriage ni?

freecocoa:
I like that you included "where it matters" when making assumptions.

I don't remember saying the OP was wrong, I was only saying that no 2 and 5 isn't just a sign of abuse, but you replied like I was wrong with my position.

And a partner who is insecure and depressed can come off as being abused when infact that's not the case, that's why the OP should've been more precise in his submission.

freecocoa:
I haven't read the trilogy but from what I know, she knew what she was getting into, no?

ayocool:
I recently just survived each and every and even more from a Narcissist. Opelope adura !

freecocoa:
How do you mean none of those traits can exhibit themselves?no 2 and 5 that is.

Relationships can cause depression ofcourse but is that the only factor that can lead to such?

refreshrate:


you didnt get my response i meant its only when the partner is present that these traits are experienced.

Ability to handle things vary from person to person.

Something called a stressor is needed to experience any emotion imaginable. Might not necessarily be the only cause but its the major or predominant cause.
and yes relationships if handled wrongly can be a stressor to cause depression.

Truckpusher:
Well, I didn't reply that you were totally wrong which is now an assumption on your own part ,but I was only pointing out that if the op's position is to be rearranged in another numerical order, then one can conveniently say that the two numbers you faulted were right after all as it concerns the subject matter.
You can argue for Africa sha!

chymystique:


Ana didnt know what she was getting into cause she was naive on what relationships were about. Anyways when she understood what she got into she quickly adapted and so wouldnt call is abuse anymore cause it was consentual...

My point is in some abusive relationship, the abused dont usually mind being abused and most times tends to like it... though to the eyes of the world its a psychological disorder

freecocoa:
Yea well, that isn't the case to show that the fault lies in the OP, you should be quoting the OP, not me.

You never see argument.

doublewisdom:
She denies you intimacy when you need it the most! That is the worst form of abuse!

chymystique:




My point is in some abusive relationship, the abused dont usually mind being abused and most times tends to like it... though to the eyes of the world its a psychological disorder

doublewisdom:
She denies you intimacy when you need it the most! That is the worst form of abuse!

Truckpusher:
Of course I'm in tandem with the op's submission but you faulting those two submissions from another direction was totally unnecessary as it doesn't relate to the above mentioned subject issue and of course everyone is aware that an abusive relationship isn't the sole cause of insecurity and depression.

I know you must reply .

mentorandfriend:
E be like say you don join LadyF and Xavier.Blue abi?

XavierBlue

freecocoa:
And I'm telling you that even without a partner, depression can occur and as for insecurity, one needs a partner to exhibit such behaviour but how then is it the partner's fault that the other is insecure, that it should be qualified as abuse?


An insecure person will be insecure with whatever type of partner he/she has, no?

olafum1:
What of if she always demands for money; and I have to prepare for trouble in times like that because I always say I don't have . Isn't that abusive?

doublewisdom:
She denies you intimacy when you need it the most! That is the worst form of abuse!

NanaSparks:

I very much hope your intimacy doesn't mean sexual intercourse cos if it does,you know nothing.
As for them guys liking his comment,you all are bunch of disappointing dudes.
What on earth is with guys and their hormones, they are talking of sanity ridden abuse and you talking sex.


Lord have mercy!!!

freecocoa:
I can bet you not everyone knows this and insecure people reading this, can project their insecurities on their partner, claiming abuse.

Depressed people who we all know can channel their frustrations anyhow, can claim abuse when their partners aren't responsible for it.

It is very necessary that I tackled it from that perspective as we all know that many people have claimed abuse, where there was none.

If you say something worth replying, I will reply.

refreshrate:


Calm down babe.
Like i said stressors are anything that causes the situation.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it still make a sound?
Thats very much like what youre emphasizing now.

Insecure means not being sure of the position youre giving in so much to.
A person being alone can be insecure about never getting a partner.
Someone in a relationship can feel insecure about the partners faithfulness

Everyone in a relationship owes it to their partners to make them feel secure.
Going ahead to actually not allowing them feel secure like having other members of the opposite sex do things that ideally shouldnt be can be a form of creating insecurity for your partner...this is abuse.

OP isnt saying these are the only possible causes for depression, however they are probable causes.

Truckpusher:
Yeah! You're right .

olafum1 post =37508430:
What of if she always demands for money; and I have to prepare for trouble in times like that because I always say I don't have . Isn't that abusive?