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My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Zendinho(m): 9:17pm On Sep 04, 2015
INTROVERT:
Before you come here... go to the pastor/imam, in-laws and relations and his friends and seek advice from them.
...dnt think i will agree wt u cos even sme d ppl u mention might b aware of his deeds...
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by GodblessNig247(m): 9:17pm On Sep 04, 2015
MISSNORA:
Sorry op... I woulda suggested u lock up our major material buh dah would give him more reasons too... D best thing to do is to stage that u r cheating to cheat. Wait avnt u watched the film Mr. & Mrs? Just go watch it! There lies ur answer. Make sure u create a thread to tank me wen it works!
MISSNORA


THIS IS REALITY DEAR. IT WILL BE A VERY COLOSSAL PLUNDER IF U APPLY THOSE ILLUSIONS. SHE SHOULD KEEP SHOWING HIM LOVE. AND BACK IT UP WITH PRAYERS. IT IS CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT HE LOVES THE WIFE ACCORDING TO WHAT SHE STATED HERE. SO SHE SHOULD KEEP SHOWING LOVE AND AFFECTION AND PROBABLY SHE SHOULD IMPROVE IN HER SEX STYLES AND PATTERNS. I MEAN SHE SHOULD SPICE UP HER SEX LIFE
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by fizdonchampion(m): 9:18pm On Sep 04, 2015
Itz all abt ur actions now. Let him knw u re priceless. Ignore him bt alwz let him realised dt u re in d knwing of all his stupid act. U av to rebrand urslf

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by segcymoor(m): 9:19pm On Sep 04, 2015
fizdonchampion:
Itz all abt ur actions now. Let him knw u re priceless. Ignore him bt alwz let him realised dt u re in d knwing of all his stupid act. U av to rebrand urslf
correct!
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by nanalady(f): 9:20pm On Sep 04, 2015
Atlantian:
Do not leave your marriage, it is your support system, but the only way you will feel better is to cheat too. Believe me, there is nothing else that will make you feel better. Prayer doesnt help in this.

shocked...chai
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by kandiikane(m): 9:20pm On Sep 04, 2015
Blizzyblinkzy:
Men are polygamous in nature.

Talk to him again. Ask hw will he feel if he was in ur shoe?

If he doesn't change just let him be. Stop going through his phone so u won't die of hypertension. I don't like going through a guy's phone bt if ieventually do so and saw what annoys me i just pretend like i didn't see anything. I hate talking 2 them abt cheating on their partner cos 96% of our men cheat.
Just be careful. When he asks u of sex tell him 2 use condom and i think he will feel bad about it

You have no self worth, love!

10 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Haywhymido(m): 9:21pm On Sep 04, 2015
With due respect ma, ur husband is a dog, imagine ur nanny add join. If care is not taken he will toast ur grandmother. Na every female he won f**k I pity him, hope he change b4 it is too late 4 him. Small time them go dey say na devil.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by phabulous88(m): 9:21pm On Sep 04, 2015
haha

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by MISSNORA(f): 9:22pm On Sep 04, 2015
GodblessNig247:


THIS IS REALITY DEAR. IT WILL BE A VERY COLOSSAL PLUNDER IF U APPLY THOSE ILLUSIONS. SHE SHOULD KEEP SHOWING HIM LOVE. AND BACK IT UP WITH PRAYERS. IT IS CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT HE LOVES THE WIFE ACCORDING TO WHAT SHE STATED HERE. SO SHE SHOULD KEEP SHOWING LOVE AND AFFECTION AND PROBABLY SHE SHOULD IMPROVE IN HER SEX STYLES AND PATTERNS. I MEAN SHE SHOULD SPICE UP HER SEX LIFE
hmmmm cool shaa
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by testimonyobaoyin(f): 9:23pm On Sep 04, 2015
angelchinny:
I believe he does dat becos he knws I forgive him easily, dats why I wanna punish him
I understand how u feel,but to be frank with you,u need a serious prayer who knows what the other lady is doing to him? and please for the sake of the children don't let anyone advice you wrongly this is a marriage and not courtship. U need God and pastors advice
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by donem: 9:24pm On Sep 04, 2015
Blizzyblinkzy:
Men are polygamous in nature.

Talk to him again. Ask hw will he feel if he was in ur shoe?

If he doesn't change just let him be. Stop going through his phone so u won't die of hypertension. I don't like going through a guy's phone bt if ieventually do so and saw what annoys me i just pretend like i didn't see anything. I hate talking 2 them abt cheating on their partner cos 96% of our men cheat.
Just be careful. When he asks u of sex tell him 2 use condom and i think he will feel bad about it

Nice advice. but I don't think only 4% of married men don't cheat, ain't married yet but have never cheated.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by godsonanaba111(m): 9:25pm On Sep 04, 2015
Pls do not leave your husband, just continue to pray for him and family as well, sooness he will know that womanizing is no longer a fashion
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Nicepoker(m): 9:25pm On Sep 04, 2015
Since u want to punish him. Tell him to kneel down under the sun for one week.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Nobody: 9:26pm On Sep 04, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?
ladies ehn...do as if u dnt care.get one of ur male friends to start bombarding u wit calls even wit messages. mke sure u let hm notice all these tinz. d key to dis is even if ur dat jealous, pls hold urself act like u dnt care. Tel hm words like'baby pls always protect urself ooooo' , 'baby enjoy urself oooo' I bet u if u try all dis hm go begin dey tink.but if u always act like u care he won't stop.mke sure dat ur male friend calls u while u do all this oooo.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Nobody: 9:27pm On Sep 04, 2015
Marriage management is a course that defies human expertise. Most acclaimed marriage experts themselves are embroiled in marital turmoil.

Your issue needs plenty of details for appropriate dissection. You too must not absolve yourself. Directly or indirectly you may have abetted his sexual recklessness. But if you met him a sex bandit, you can only now resort to prayers of grace and mercy to help manage him and pull him out from his self-destructive lifestyle.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by ugoshevy(m): 9:29pm On Sep 04, 2015
I think there's a way to deal with this, it seems you are too soft. That is why it is very necessary for every Nigerian to spend at least 1month in the land of Warri, the Capital of the world. I have seen such scenarios a lot, if you want my advice, you need to "change" your approach. Your kids are still small, too much pregnancy and lack of sex caused this. Take a sex break with him coz you never can tell where diseases come from, Monitor his movement, Carry your children and follow him until you find out the girl, even if your last born is 2months old...Madame, you are the mother of 3...nobody fit thief your title...tie your wrapper, back your children, buy face cap and turn it to the back.... Go meet them for where they they gist...create a scene with your children crying.... Seize the 2of them.... Tell them somebody must die.....either them or you... My sister, by the time you bring out the pepper, put am for that girl eye...start to lace am with no escape route....ehhhh...... With the highest provocation.... Your husband and that idiot GF....would never remain the same. This thing would stop under 1hour. This is the Warri method. And it is the most effective. Just make sure, you cram the steps and plan it appropriately. Remember, a public disgrace and your Children must be there crying to attract more attention. Your biggest problem maybe you are shy of the public knowledge that's why you even hid your details. You have to own up, wise up and take your husband back. You don't do that by arguing in your house or going to see Inlaws. This is your man and that girl is the Devil. Rebuke it and it will flee. If you like continue Nairalanding after this my advice. Infact you don make me provoke sef....

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Chinoble(f): 9:30pm On Sep 04, 2015
what someone i knw dd wen she was in this kind of situation was:
1. She told hìm that if he infect her wit any STI, even if z sexually transmitted headache that she wil kill him herself.
2. If he continue living that kind of life and die in the process, highest she wil mourn him 6mnths and forget him.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by ty26: 9:31pm On Sep 04, 2015
My sista,all u need is to b prayerful and @ d same time dnt rude to him,he still ur husband and dnt try any stupid thing to spite him,because u will still b d person to b @faulty later,so jst pray and i knw he will change vry soon
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by AdaNri1(f): 9:32pm On Sep 04, 2015
MISSNORA:
Sorry op... I woulda suggested u lock up our major material buh dah would give him more reasons too... D best thing to do is to stage that u r cheating to cheat. Wait avnt u watched the film Mr. & Mrs? Just go watch it! There lies ur answer. Make sure u create a thread to tank me wen it works!
MISSNORA
better lock up before he gives you HIV
Someone I know was in the same predicament and hoped things would get better. She only found out she was HIV positive when she got pregnant. Turned out hubby had been on ARTV for over one year. The saddest part is that even the secretary to her hubby also tested positive to HIV. No need asking who the culprit was.
Be careful OP, if you're not financially dependent on him then reject everything from him but don't relent in your duties except for the lock up, let him know the reason. Tell him you're scared, you can't have rest of mind because you don't know the s*xual history of his other s*xual partners so you might as well protect yourself.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by donem: 9:32pm On Sep 04, 2015
rolled:
4yrs and 3 kids?
You try oh
Ok that aside,what drastic measures have you taken to get a job.its very important oh
She said her second pregnancy was a set of twin.
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by NovusHomo(m): 9:33pm On Sep 04, 2015
Four years, three children. Hmm...
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Chinoble(f): 9:34pm On Sep 04, 2015
what someone i knw dd wen she was in this kind of situation was:
1. She told hìm that if he infect her wit any STI, even if z sexually transmitted headache that she wil kill him herself.
2. If he continue living that kind of life and die in the process, highest she wil mourn him 6mnths and forget him.
The hubby stopped cus he noticed that the wife doesnt care.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by therapistmrs: 9:34pm On Sep 04, 2015
ma, take it easy.Its really not easy when one finds their partner cheating on them but the reality is that men are polygamous in nature.do't involve a third party in your issue, believe me every married couple have their issues they are dealing with.My sincere advice is
1. Stop going through your husband phone.
2. stop calling the other girl
3.try as much as possible to get a job or start a small businees to keep you busy ( this really work,try it)
4.turn a blind eye and deaf hear to anything to hear or see.
Sister, there is truely no perfect marriage out there,marriage is a work in progress.God will see you through.
therapistmrs.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by lastpage: 9:35pm On Sep 04, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with[b] my children[/b] to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

First,let me say l have sympathy for your hurt feelings due to your husband having an affair.

That is not a good thing and the way it is going, l can bet you that he is the polygamous type and he will "likely" marry a second wife in future.
That is the truth and you may not like it. Am sorry to say it to you.


Having said that, l am also worried that you will either end-up poisoning your husband or killing him in his sleep! YOU WILL MURDER YOUR HUSBAND VERY SOON.... mark my words!
I have seen traces of a "murderer in waiting" in your post but my advice for you is that "no man is worth killing over, No man is worth spending the rest of your life in prison, over, No man is worth losing your eternity over!

And while at it, you say he cheats on you and l am wondering,.. for you to have "three children within 4years of marriage" means you are practically pregnant 85% of the time, which means he might have developed some feelings for other ladies during these periods (not justifying his action even at that)!
Could you not have spaced the children a bit apart so that you guy shave some more time for each other? When do you romance, have a night-out, cuddle and listen to each other, when you are just pregnant and rearing babies all the time?
angry angry

I also observed that you keep saying "My Children"? Dont you know that the children belonged to BOTH OF YOU and you cant use them as a weapon against each other (the children deserve access to both of you since they are not part of your angst of break-up and cannot be punished or used to punish the other?)

Again, checking his Call Logs is just YOU punishing yourself!
Sooner than later, he will devise ways by which he would either fool you with the call logs (chop & Clean Mouth grin ) or change the password on his phone.... or even switch to another lady that you dont even know! What will you do then?
Am saying once you knew, its no longer worth the trouble to keep checking his logs (though l know that curiosity is powerful at times).

Finally, you want us to teach you how to PUNISH your own Husband, the father of your FOUR CHILDREN?
Are you for real or just stewpid?
So, you want us to tell you to put otakpiapia in his food or to tell you to stab him or pound his head with a mortar, when he is sleeping or you want us to tell you to send hired killers after him or to pour acid on his face or take his "abunna part" or actually make him impotent for life?

Craze dey worry you! Infact, you are going insane and its better you seek help before you get out of control.

Suggestions:
*Never put your happiness in another humanbeing, husband or wife.... because by human nature, we can all disappoint! its normal but some cant handle it properly!
*Privately (not churchily!), read your Bible to get spiritual strength. Focus on God who can give you eternal happiness (I doubt someone with a "wickedly-vengeful spirit" like you can even attune to God's spirit in anyway?).

*Pray for your husband, that he would realize his error before it is too late, for the sake of your family and your own happiness because in "most cases", broken family never produce happiness except if they were not even meant to be together initially (mistake marriage!)

*Stop checking his Logs (hypertension is not far-off from that) but let him be aware that his actions are causing you pain, causing the kids pain and breaking the family apart.
Speak to him without anger, with a "calmness and maturity" that will even surprise him (its shocking when you offend someone and expect anger.... yet they are calm! That itself scares the shyte out of people!)

*Since you did not say he "hates his children", consider leaving the children with him when you are about to "go to another far-away state" ...while arranging visiting-times so you can also be part of their life, ...for their "balanced-upbringing" ( running away with them is a sure way to ruin their life! consider their happiness as well, not just your own)

*But if eventually you decide to be a murderer and kill him, remember to tell the children the exact truth of why you had to kill their father.


As for me, l wont be one of those to tell you how to punish your husband. If you really hate him this much then there is no point still living with him..... just gerrout of the marriage.
Thank God he is not the violent at least you did not claim it is because he is beating you




Lastpage!

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Achiles: 9:35pm On Sep 04, 2015
ednut1:
the signs were there before marriage , its for beta for worse isn't it. dis is a lesson for babes who rush into marriage witout a job or business. only u can decide wats best for u o. men can be heartless too chai

Rubish
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by nwadiuko1(m): 9:36pm On Sep 04, 2015
MosakuAW:


Good, but not always good to involve 3rd party in a relationship or marriage. No matter the problem, the 2 people involved should be able to solve their personal problem. 3rd party will only add more to it. My thought thou.
nairalanders na 4th party sha grin

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by shaboti: 9:36pm On Sep 04, 2015
Blizzyblinkzy:
Men are polygamous in nature.

Talk to him again. Ask hw will he feel if he was in ur shoe?

If he doesn't change just let him be. Stop going through his phone so u won't die of hypertension. I don't like going through a guy's phone bt if ieventually do so and saw what annoys me i just pretend like i didn't see anything. I hate talking 2 them abt cheating on their partner cos 96% of our men cheat.
Just be careful. When he asks u of sex tell him 2 use condom and i think he will feel bad about it
mumu

Nigerian women u guys need to stop giving men excuses to cheat. See how they're rushing to like her post.
And stop with the 96% bullsh*t! 96% of men you know is not the same as 96% nigerian men.

Pls Have some self worth babe..

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by kannymoore(m): 9:36pm On Sep 04, 2015
MISSNORA:
Sorry op... I woulda suggested u lock up our major material buh dah would give him more reasons too... D best thing to do is to stage that u r cheating too. Trust me he would be u to forgive him n he gon be a good man afterwards. Wait avnt u watched the film Mr. & Mrs? Just go watch it! There lies ur answer. Make sure u create a thread to tank me wen it works!
MISSNORA

From you're write up I've deduced that

(1)... you're actually a very young kid

And

(2)... you are definitely NOT MARRIED AT ALL!


Your advice would only pcreate far more wahala than the OP can possibly bear!

Yand to think that you're basing your theory on a frigging "HOLLYWOOD" movie? shocked shocked

Mehn... you really do have a lot more growing up to do... wahllai!!

grin grin !!

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by lacici(m): 9:37pm On Sep 04, 2015
Can u send ur phone number to me so that we can talk private?
Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by MISSNORA(f): 9:37pm On Sep 04, 2015
AdaNri1:
better lock up before he gives you HIV
Someone I know was in the same predicament and hoped things would get better. She only found out she was HIV positive when she got pregnant. Turned out hubby had been on ARTV for over one year. The saddest part is that even the secretary to her hubby also tested positive to HIV. No need asking who the culprit was.
Be careful OP, if you're not financially dependent on him then reject everything from him but don't relent in your duties except for the lock up, let him know the reason. Tell him you're scared, you can't have rest of mind because you don't know the s*xual history of his other s*xual partners so you might as well protect yourself.
y r men like dis? Dey r Neva satisfied

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by oluwaniyi66(m): 9:37pm On Sep 04, 2015
take him to mfm for deliverance or deeper life for salvation of his soul . better still, go and meet and mfm pastor or deeper life pastor concerning your situation. I'm 100% sure you will find solution.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is Killing Me Emotionaly, How Do I Deal With Him by Nobody: 9:37pm On Sep 04, 2015
angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?
TWO WAYS TO BREAK THIS KIND OF GUY

1. TRY TO BE AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN, DON'T PUT HIM AS YOUR EPICENTER. BE ENGAGE IN HAND WORK OR SOMTHING THAT WILL KEEP YOU BUSY.


2. HAVE MANY MALE FRIENDS, CHAT ALOT, AND FLEX LIKE NEVER BEFORE,BUT MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A CONCRET EVIDENCE OF HIM CHEATING ON YOU IN CASE THE EEDIOT WANTED TO GO HAYWIRE ON YOU.

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