angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

INTROVERT:
Before you come here... go to the pastor/imam, in-laws and relations and his friends and seek advice from them.

ogawisdom:

focus ur energy on getting a job dts ur main prob. as long as u r jobless u cant do shit.

Blizzyblinkzy:
Men are polygamous in nature.

Talk to him again. Ask hw will he feel if he was in ur shoe?

If he doesn't change just let him be. Stop going through his phone so u won't die of hypertension. I don't like going through a guy's phone bt if ieventually do so and saw what annoys me i just pretend like i didn't see anything. I hate talking 2 them abt cheating on their partner cos 96% of our men cheat.
Just be careful. When he asks u of sex tell him 2 use condom and i think he will feel bad about it

angelchinny:

Okay will do jst dat. What if I fake calls and make him jealous as well cos I told him recently dat my 1st love re-sufaced n he is realy hrtbroken dat am already married cos he came bk 4 us to rekindle our love. He got realy mad n couldn't sleep dat night

uboma:



Herein lies your big challenge Sister. In a space of 4 years into marriage, you already have 3 children. You should have insisted on family planning and proper spacing of your children because my dear, some men are very unpredictable.

You are vulnerable at this stage because like you rightly pointed out, leaving him now is not possible because of the children.

You may consider telling his family (parents) about his infidelity and how its affecting you.

I wish you and the kids well...

angelchinny:

I would hv left him a long time ago but I jst think twice cos of two reasons
1) Cos of my children, hw I will take them along wit me
2)Cos am not working yet, I can't provide 4 myself n my children

angelchinny:

I would hv left him a long time ago but I jst think twice cos of two reasons
1) Cos of my children, hw I will take them along wit me
2)Cos am not working yet, I can't provide 4 myself n my children

angelchinny:

I would hv left him a long time ago but I jst think twice cos of two reasons
1) Cos of my children, hw I will take them along wit me
2)Cos am not working yet, I can't provide 4 myself n my children

abdrazak:
@Op,
Your husband is still there for you. Are you seducive enough? How did you dress in your matrimonial home? How often did you satisfy him when the needs arises? How did you welcome him when he returns from work?
If you can't answer all those questions correctly the way its suppose to be answer, you need to adjust.
Those ladies he is seeing outside are not better and/or pretty than you.

angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..
Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

ugoshevy:
I commented earlier, but reading through your comments I have some Questions
1) Are you aware that the advise you said you like very well maybe coming from the same girl here your husband is dating?
2) Are you aware all this people asking you to go and pray saying all men are the same are also sleeping with other peoples husbands?
3) Are you aware that Punishment is not a solution even if you abstain from sex, move out or get a job?
4) Do you want your Kids to grow up with their Dad?
5) Would you like to be referred to as that woman that was sacked with her and her children?
6) Can you remember how many people you invited for your wedding, how many times you have cooked, how long you were in labor and how many of the family and friendly advice you have heard?
I can keep asking Questions....
But there is only one Solution; it is you or her. You need to go and Fight her publicly in his presence and if possible carry police that she wants to kill you and your children. Madame, stop doing smeeeh smeeeh going thru his phone, asking questions like his GF. You need ACTION. You are his Wife. That girl is your 1st priority. Of course ladies would deceive you and tell you is a lie coz they are doing it with other men and don't like embarrasment. But I'm a man. What we detest is embarrasment. Go and call police and Start a fight and escalate the issue...until someone is locked up. It doesn't matter, if you are locked up too. Immediately you get out.... Do the same thing. Madame, not every man cheats. You can change him. All you need to do is Escalate the issue. Marriage is an issue of Life and Death. Forget every other thing, you need to this issue as a matter of Life and Death. Go and call police and find that woman tomorrow. Do it continuosly....everyday....you need to make her life miserable coz she is making yours miserable. All this young girls should be taught lessons. If every woman fights for her man, there would be no cheating. You need to go and fight, this is not a joke

INTROVERT:
Before you come here... go to the pastor/imam, in-laws and relations and his friends and seek advice from them.

lastpage:


Are you saying this out of anger (I am angry at the hubby too) or you really think this works all the time?
Well, some couple have same type of problem and wifey created a very big disgrace for her husband (his place of work, the girl friend was a staff in the same place as well!).

The man resigned his job from that place, moved to another house, married the woman (three step marriage that he did not even do for the Madam wey dey form James Bond!) and abandoned the other one and her two kids in the former house.
He continued to give her money for food and other things the kids need but VOWED NEVER TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER AGAIN!

Even his Parents asked him to re-consider and take both women as his wives but he insisted he wont be married to her again.
he said something that caught people's attention: That woman would killed me if she could, that l survived is because of luck! I wont test that luck a second time!
One may continue giving excuses and instances like this...as if they are right. If you know your man, are you so afraid that he may choose the girl over you. Such low esteem. No responsible man leaves his family for a sidekick. What happens in the long-run. No child forgives a parent for that. Even if she feels lonely at the beginning or she causes Havoc... When it is Strengthened back. The man doesn't pretend to change... He changes after an embarrasment and how he sees how he hurts the lady. You shoudnt jeorpardise his job....but you should jeopardise the girl's next encounter with him
The lesson those of us privy to that issue learnt is that "all situations are not the same, all men/women are not the same and what worked for Mr. A , might not work for Mr.B

All these "dramatic advices: are known to Boomerang back in a very painful manner and those offering those advice wont be there to pick the pieces!


Lastpage!

angelchinny:
Am a well dedicated nairalander but I created this new account for this issue. I have been married for 4 years now with 3 children and since the 2nd year of our marriage my husband has been constantly cheating on me.

The way he goes about it is even heartbreaking, he does it like his into a love relationship with them and not just for fun.

There is this particular girl that he calls like 3 times everyday because I check his call log and saw they keep in touch more than twice everyday. I stupidly called the girl and warned her to stay clear off my man and she confessed he didn't tell her he was married, I confronted my hubby and he was forming defensive and was telling me dat am accusing him wrongly and he will soon start cheating. I called the girl back in the evening and she told me that even as am calling that his call is entering her phone, that he called earlier to beg her to give him chance to explain..The next day I left with my children to a far away state and he pleaded that he will change and all that. The issue is that he continued with this shameless behaviour, our live-in nanny later confessed to my cousin last month that he approached her and I was so devastated. He knelt down and begged and I easily forgave him..

Forgive me for my long episode but I really need your help on how to punish him cos I went to his call log yesterday and saw the same girl that made me take the risk to leave with my children to another state calling him again and he is reciprocating the calls..his a very jealous person, he goes crazy when a male friend calls me..I want to make him pass through all the pains I have endured all these years.. What do I do pls?

abdrazak:
@Op,
Your husband is still there for you. Are you seducive enough? How did you dress in your matrimonial home? How often did you satisfy him when the needs arises? How did you welcome him when he returns from work?
If you can't answer all those questions correctly the way its suppose to be answer, you need to adjust.
Those ladies he is seeing outside are not better and/or pretty than you.
Try to this:
1. Never dress as if you are outdated. Package yourself like when he first sees you during teenage life
2. Seduce him with your utmost capacity, a tangible welcome, and a romantic hug when he returns from work. Also in bed too, satisfy him wella.
Don't treat him bad, because if you did, those ladies will just snatch it from you totally.

honeygirl17:
When you born 3,children in 4 years watin you expect?

I know you won't like what I'm about to say but you are part of the reason he's cheating on you. What happened to family planning ? Your husband could not enjoy sex cos u are always pregnant.

Chigoizie7 take note of this.

lastpage:


And you, have a very "twisted and misinformed idea" of self worth!

Get Real.



Lastpage!

noblegrex:
NOTHING!!! Pray for him,be a good wife and mother,he'll change.any other thing will be more devastating,you had kids for him already,keep them,take care of them,pray for him like a said earlier and don't hurt youself. Above all,let him understand you know all his vices, some how,and pretend as if you don't know or care.I bet you he'll be more worried than you.although,it might not be that easy but persevere and pretend as if you r not hurt.shikena

Rukkydelta:
With all this wahala associated with marriage I'm getting scared o anyway[b] i'll advise the op to go fetish it seems cos is the best option now[/b] so that anything and anywhere the husband do/is the thought of her will always be on his mind

mekybabe1:
Ha haan! Pls read the thread again. She had twins in her second pregnancy.

kandiikane:


You are the one who needs to get real, so a woman should just accept that men cheat and just go along with it or turn a blind eye to it? What a messed up mentality! Men are not polygamous in nature and not all men cheat anyone who thinks contrary to this, believing it is ok to be with a cheat needs serious help.

abdrazak:
@Op,
Your husband is still there for you. Are you seducive enough? How did you dress in your matrimonial home? How often did you satisfy him when the needs arises? How did you welcome him when he returns from work?
If you can't answer all those questions correctly the way its suppose to be answer, you need to adjust.
Those ladies he is seeing outside are not better and/or pretty than you.
Try to this:
1. Never dress as if you are outdated. Package yourself like when he first sees you during teenage life
2. Seduce him with your utmost capacity, a tangible welcome, and a romantic hug when he returns from work. Also in bed too, satisfy him wella.
Don't treat him bad, because if you did, those ladies will just snatch it from you totally.