RedCard1:
Only those Stingy Igbo men does the cooking in their marriages.

They do it for silly reasons of economising things unnecessarily.

I pity women that are married to typical Igbo men.

wen u just didn't see any chance of tribalism coming....Some niggers are quite good in causing tribal riots in any post watsoever

freecocoa:
Insult us na, what are you waiting for? Luckily for you, I have a doctorate degree in that department as well. Buffoon.

Not a bad try. Looks like I'm justified.

I wish you well regardless and hope you effect changes where needed.

pmc01:


Not a bad try. Looks like I'm justified.

I wish you well regardless and hope you effect changes where needed.

Gerrarahia mehn! You are in no position to advice me and I love me this way, let the door hit you on your way out, rabbish.

babygirlfl:


Very annoying but even more annoying is a woman who allows herself to be treated like that. If her name is in the documents in that house, how can he send her out. She will probably send him to his mothers house for a change.

u resist when ur resources are in it but not when u got an already made man which most want...so?

Who send them!Remain a single,u people won't hear,u prefer the title 'Mr' and 'Mrs',now u are inquring how 2 manage ur family from a single like me enjoying my bachelor life,enh?If I may ask,what tribe are both from?It matters if answer is needed sharply.'One can cook than the other and they've been dating since their undergraduate days'.This is common,it's not new anyway

Well, if the couple can't take a cue from the many advice flooding this thread and retrace their steps, of what use would be my own advice? So I'll say nothing.

Buh I strongly advice the couple to read and make do with life changing posts made on here.

Good luck to them...

Cooking has been the job of a good wife from time memorial,I'm not disputing the fact that the husband can help the wife in the kitchen,but it is the major duty and responsibility of a good wife to do the cooking, the wife should just eat the humble pie cos the marriage is tending toward disintegration.
I also don't blame the wife cos from what I read the husband must be pompous and garrulous young man because his friend refer to him as a good cook, possessing a quality not common with young men can make you appear an inch taller.
He has been the one cooking during courtship he must have promised his wife that he will always cook for her, now that he find the job so difficult to continue he want to forcefully turn the table around, please guys don't make promises u can never fulfil during courtship and also husband should always appreciate the wife cos you may do her job better but how long can you do it without complaining.

Tallesty1:
I am warning you oo.

Before you go carry your own story come nairaland.

That's if there's 2G in hell

You sure say you sef no want marry her if chance dey?

pmc01:
If I were to drop my opinion on this matter ehn, I see no way I won't insult the cocoa flavour twins (freecocoa and cococandy), as well as one babygirl bla bla.

Sincerely, some ladies should still be refered to as girls, no matter how old they are. Immature and arrogant breed.

#Married but living single.

My brother, I had to fight every urge in me to answer those girls! You can imagine what our Nigerian sisters can spill! They should ask themselves if this is how our mothers behaved and are still enjoying their homes till today even after having men with beards and full blown female children! Personally, back then, when my gf is visiting, I ask her what I should prepare for her before she arrives since she is coming from a far distance. but as from the next morning, na she get kitchen till she go back oh! Am a good cook! A very good one for that matter! But them never born that babe wey wan tell me to dey cook for her like this our guy wife! I can do it once in a while like popsy made starch(abeg Isokos and Urhobos dey chop starch from cassava oh) that everyone marvelled at few days back just for fun and prove to everyone of us that he is still a good cook till tomorrow! But as the guy dey villa, make him return back today and food no dey wait for am, una go read the story tomorrow! Bros, I greet you again! If no be some correct babes wey don yarn better, I for blast those babes since!

My husband cooks well. While we were dating, he does the cooking but right now I need no prophet to tell me that power has changed over.

Some of our female folks or should I say female rights activist here still don't get it. The lady's response if true, shows she's very non-chalant and holds no remorse whatsoever over her shortcoming.

A man can be his wife's little baby if she knows her onions well.

It is as simple as she telling the friend in response to his query 'oh! I didn't know my sweetheart isn't happy with that.' She can then proceed to massage her husband's ego by calmly and jovially admitting that he is truly the man of the house and assuring him she would make ammends.

Afterwards, she should then ensure they are in the kitchen together by mutual consent whenever the opportunity comes up. She can be merely and observer and the helping hand (I mean the one who gets the salt, onions and other miscellanous duties). This will even boost their romance life and the seemingly brewing trouble would have been turned around to a win-win situation.

This should not be interpreted as 'foolishly being over-submissive' as some of our women here are painting it to be.

The kind of comments witnessed so far from the ladies re-emphasizes the need for men to be very protective of their wives in choosing her friends, otherwise there will be 'serious fire on the mountain'.

Kudos to Ishilove and a few others that were realistic with their comments, especially where she suggested 'what obtains in courtship is not the same for marriage'.

God help our female folks and increase them in wisdom.

ireneidiva:

Its this your mindset that will keep taking Africa backward. Lose your husband to another woman? Na today. All the women that cook for their husbands have not 'lost their husbands attention to another woman'? There is no hard rule in marriage my dear, whoever is available should do the available, its their home after all.

I have no time for you. Will not pray to marry your kind of girl, otherwise my family won't be happy with me especially my mom who is very traditional.

I've dated an European girl who cooked for me like my mother. I'm still very proud of this girl even today.

Harmonyemerald:
They are both stubborn and trying to find their feet in the marriage. The man should get rid of the "am the man thoughts" and the woman should learn to be submissive. This is a simple thing, cook for ur hubby, if u need help, ask for help. Husband, complain less. People in marriage should be able to close their eyes and mouth and open their ear to hear the words of their spouse and the words of elders like me

Hahahahhaha had to login becos of u. @"elders like me"

freecocoa:
Gerrarahia mehn! You are in no position to advice me and I love me this way, let the door hit you on your way out, rabbish.

I see the humor, no wahala.

On a lighter note- For your husband's sake, I will respect his wife and not trade words with her.

#man to man

Sure, you should love yourself, but there's always room for improvement. There's always a chance for a better us, no matter how well mannered and wise we are adjudged to be; that applies to me too.

Zeeblamj01:

Western culture? Not true. I mean they share the duties but mostly the woman cooks. Except on special occasions where the man gives the family a treat... My husband is German and we cook together. He cooks on Thursdays and I cook every other day. Even when he comes home earlier than I do! My sister in laws husband doesn't even know where the kitchen is. He has never cooked a meal except put the pizza In the oven when he's very hungry and she isn't back from work! She cooks every day ! Are they not foreigners?? Abeg, the simple truth is that women of these days are proud, irresponsible and do not want to do anything for anyone but themselves!
Tell the guy to get her pregnant fast. She will cook when the cravings start. Hehe.

Is this not a Nigerian Lady? My dear (abeg make your hubby no reason am oh), your husband is the luckiest man on planet earth! See God-given brains been put to use nau! Abeg I still dey single oh incase you get sister wey never marry! To them ladies out there that thinks otherwise, una case dey God hand!

GboyegaD:
There's nothing wrong with him cooking and all I will tell him is that a woman is handled with wisdom and not force. He should start involving her and stop nagging her into cooking. I am sure she will adjust.

you are talking non.sense. The guy should only cook when he feels like cooking and not d stewpid wife ordering him to cook.

mart2k:
you are talking non.sense. The guy should only cook when he feels like cooking and not d stewpid wife ordering him to cook.

Did you read any part where she ordered him to cook? Stop the insults and mind your business instead.

pmc01:


I see the humor, no wahala.

On a lighter note- For your husband's sake, I will respect his wife and not trade words with her.

#man to man

Sure, you should love yourself, but there's always room for improvement. There's always a chance for a better us, no matter how well mannered and wise we are adjudged to be; that applies to me too.

To set the record straight, i'm not married, having said that, so you can't respect me for my sake, you'll have to do it because of a man? Aren't you something?

I know where and when to improve as I'm an adult capable of making smart decisions, should there be a place I need help? I ask for it and should I make am error, then anyone can correct me with respect, it's very wrong to speak to me like you would a child and that's something I will never, I repeat, never tolerate from anyone, so my dear I won't be treated with little or no regard because I am a woman.

I wasn't really joking with my first comment btw, I just find that there's often humour in my words, even when I'm dead serious, I can't help it.

chigoizie7:






Keep on deceiving the gullible minds, thinking u are doing them a big favor.













For the wife to even tell their friend that "he has been doing it b4, why complaining now"? According to OP, it somewhat means that d guy does cook in the house often, even more than the wife, and when d guy kinda asks her to come cook, she will be like, hian, "haven't u been cooking all these while"?




It will be understandable to point out that the gal always cooks, but the husband do help out or cook @times. But certainly not more than the wife.

As a child,we were thought the work of mother/wives and then that of father/husband. Don't try to switch roles here. So, while d hubby be cooking, wetin d wife go come de do? because,it is certain that d guy does almost all d cooking.

I know u want to be civil, but, my dear, if we want to preserve our culture and be who we want to be and represent, then certain things must be done in an uncivilized way/manner.

We all know how our parents do flog or beat us black and blue those years, "the act was uncivil". But almost all of us are glad today because d steps our parents toed(uncivil) in bringing us up, really got d best of us.

Assume the hubby cheated on her a couple of times while they were courting, would she had told him to go ahead and cheat, after all he has been cheating? The truth is dat she is running away from her duties as a wife and den covering it up with such statements which is very selfish.

I mean, why d fuk did I marry in d 1st place?

If na fuk? I can get it,married or not.
If na fud? Fast foods and mama nkechi dem full ground.
If na children? I go just knack one girl belle, deceive her till she gives birth or go for adoption.

So, if u think that the man is towing the line of the society, "I am d man"is wrong because it is a societal norm, then marriage will be wrong because marriage is also a societal norm and it is overrated. And if u think they should not go by d norms and values of the society they live in then they should not have gotten married in the 1st place.

Much respect!

FolarinLondon:


A mumu man is always swindled with being matured rhetoric while his life is being turned upside down.

A smart man is always childish to lazy and irresponsible ladies like you.

A smart man is always respected and adored by well brought lady.

Pls, go to Church oooooooh cos i am preparing to leave home for Church any moment from now. Remain blessed.

'Smart man' go to church and remain blessed too.

DeeTus:
I have no time for you. Will not pray to marry your kind of girl, otherwise my family won't be happy with me especially my mom who is very traditional.

I've dated an European girl who cooked for you like my mother. I'm still very proud of this girl even today.

You 'dated'. You did not marry her o, after all her 'cooking like your mother'.

Aystarz:


Nah, many of today's ladies aren't really ready for an African marriage. They simply don't have what it takes to last long in an African marriage.

yes i agree with you. too much of Hollywood movies and soap operas is confusing so many Niga gals. i don't know what happen to our African values. it's the new generation men that consider assisting their wife in chores our own father wont do it may be just a few will assist. A man will go to work, crack his brain on how to provide for his family, gives the woman money for upkeep and she will balance and still expect him to do compulsory cooking hmm

ebubey:
martins y did u bring my family issue to d public? u shuld learn how to mind ur biz...n 4 those of u insulting me OYO btw my husband loves to cook n his meals re far better... wat do you expect me to do? intimidate myself









m not the wife ooo...

Hhmmm... But you wished you were

I dnt support dat!..But wait This OP go sabi do Amebo wella

Jennifer89:



yes i agree with you. too much of Hollywood movies and soap operas is confusing so many Niga gals. i don't know what happen to our African values. it's the new generation men that consider assisting their wife in chores our own father wont do it may be just a few will assist. A man will go to work, crack his brain on how to provide for his family, gives the woman money for upkeep and she will balance and still expect him to do compulsory cooking hmm

The african tradition that is still keeping africa backward when other continents are way ahead. The man will go to work and crack his brain? Don't women work and 'crack' their brains? Don't women provide for their families? What is wrong with you people?

ireneidiva:

The african tradition that is still keeping africa backward when other continents are way ahead. The man will go to work and crack his brain? Don't women work and 'crack' their brains? Don't women provide for their families? What is wrong with you people?

haha....story. u bring a car...she brings a tray for comparison. smh.

Jennifer89:



yes i agree with you. too much of Hollywood movies and soap operas is confusing so many Niga gals. i don't know what happen to our African values. it's the new generation men that consider assisting their wife in chores our own father wont do it may be just a few will assist. A man will go to work, crack his brain on how to provide for his family, gives the woman money for upkeep and she will balance and still expect him to do compulsory cooking hmm

Don't you have shame? Why should he be the one giving you money for upkeep? Can't you also pay for his upkeep? What happened to your hands and brains, or doesn't yours deserve some racking?

ireneidiva:

The african tradition that is still keeping africa backward when other continents are way ahead. The man will go to work and crack his brain? Don't women work and 'crack' their brains? Don't women provide for their families? What is wrong with you people?

The question is, what do u advise the couple to do?

ireneidiva:

You 'dated'. You did not marry her o, after all her 'cooking like your mother'.

Lol!

You're lazy. Go learn how to cook

kosplateau:

haha....story. u bring a car...she brings a tray for comparison. smh.

That one happens in the village you grew up in. Please women contribute a whole lot in their marriages. Men like you feel the impact when they are down.

ireneidiva:

The african tradition that is still keeping africa backward when other continents are way ahead. The man will go to work and crack his brain? Don't women work and 'crack' their brains? Don't women provide for their families? What is wrong with you people?

may be u don't get. inasmuch we try to imitate the western tradition we still have ours. I'm not saying a man shouldn't assist his wife in cooking or doing chores in d house but it shouldn't be mandatory. you cant force a man to cook if he doesn't want to. nothing is wrong with me coz we are entitled to our own opinion.

Jennifer89:



may be u don't get. inasmuch we try to imitate the western tradition we still have ours. I'm not saying a man shouldn't assist his wife in cooking or doing chores in d house but it shouldn't be mandatory. you cant force a man to cook if he doesn't want to. nothing is wrong with me coz we are entitled to our own opinion.

Did you read where she 'forced' the man to cook for her?