Happy Sunday Nairalanders. I've been pondering on this issue so I decided to share.

Singlehood (as used here) implies voluntary decision to remain unmarried. I feel there are young men and women who would decide to remain unmarried for some reasons but the society we live in does not help matters. My problem is not the “African Culture”, but the church. By the way, does the “African Culture” impose marriage on everyone? (I want to know please). Even when there’s pressure from family, friends and the society at large, I feel the church should be a place of refuge to anyone who has decided to be unmarried.

Why does the church not preach nor encourage singlehood? In our churches, all we hear is “How to choose a life partner”, “How to build a happy marriage”, “How to know the will of God for you in marriage” and the likes. Sermon illustrations focus on marriage and family. The events of the church tend to appeal to married couples. These makes it sound as if being single is a taboo or abomination. Even the Holy Bible has made provision for anyone who wants to be unmarried. Let’s see what Apostle Paul said in the scriptures.

1 Corinthians 7:7-9 (MSG) –
Verse 7: “Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me – a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone in many ways anymore than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others”.

Verse 8-9: “I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married, the difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single”.

If anyone decides to remain unmarried inorder to have more time to serve God, the church should encourage him (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). God has given some the gift of abstaining from sex. I don’t know why some people tongue-lash Catholic Priests and Sisters. For God’s sake, these people (may) have the gift of celibacy, whether or not they are sincere is a topic for another day. My point is, inasmuch as the church encourages young people to get married and settle down, they should also encourage the ones who have decided not to. Singlehood should not be regarded as abnormal.

I feel that one reason why most marriages fail is because marriage was not meant for everyone. Jesus stated this clearly in Matthew 19:12 and it says “…for there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven…”

To recapitulate, marriage is not meant for everyone. Encourage anyone who can and has decided to be unmarried. Don’t be hard on anyone who you feel is up to age of settling down; he/she may have been born a ‘eunuch’ or no one has asked or accepted to marry them. It’s normal, it’s Biblical. Let’s stop attaching every delayed marriage to unforeseen forces. The paramount thing should be our happiness. If that lady or gentleman is happy being unmarried, please encourage him/her. God bless.

What's your view on this? I stand to be corrected if I'm thinking amiss. For those who will want to attack, please let it be soft, today is Sunday ooo. Thank you.

coollabman:



my dear! listen to the word of GOD!!! Genesis 2:18 NIV ''it is not good for man to be alone'' Singleness contradicts the original plan of God for man and should never be encouraged. God has given each of us work to do. A divinely ordained purpose. in the course of that, He has made provision for you to have a helper, a close companion that will help you accomplish the mission he sent you on. So, as I said earlier on it should never be encouraged. Go find husband

Lol...No be small husband I go find. But Sir, "it is not good" doesn't mean it is sinful, from the passage I quoted in Matthew, Jesus Christ himself said that Some people were born eunuchs. Some have never been asked and some have never been accepted... What can you say about that?

coollabman:




my dear! several translations of that particular passage in the Bible indicates that it should be interpreted as an act of choice. no one is born a eunuch (ie not having a desire for intimate companionship) people only become like that because they choose to.
Just like divorce, singleness is not God's original intention for man.

since you never see husband, oya come make I marry you

It's okay. That's your perception shaa. Thanks for the comments anyway. As for marriage, I'm gonna marry. It's just that when I see people criticizing those who they feel should marry, I just wonder why they should do that.

The Bible encourages it, but if you can't abstain then it's better to get married. This was what Paul the Apostle said;

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

Now I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they should remain unmarried as I. But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

DoubleDeeX:
The Bible encourages it, but if you can't abstain then it's better to get married. This was what Paul the Apostle said;

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

Now I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they should remain unmarried as I. But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

We are on the same page Sir

Which kind rubbish talk be dis?!!

This is the height of selfishness!!

If your papa or mama bin say e no wan marry, dem for no born u to dey ask dis kind useless question dis morning.

Remain single my a$$. U go dey fvck up and down dey claim single!!!

ModiKen:
Which kind rubbish talk be dis?!!

This is the height of selfishness!!

If your papa or mama bin say e no wan marry, dem for no born u to dey ask dis kind useless question dis morning.

Remain single my a$$. U go dey fvck up and down dey claim single!!!

Bros no vex now make you no miss blessing for church...lol

I didn't say I'll not marry ooo. Anyone that can't abstain from sex should marry, that's what the scripture says, but everyone can't marry, that's my point. Some people were born "eunuchs", no be me talk am.

Did you say selfishness? maybe you have to break it down...

ggirl4real:


Bros no vex now make you no miss blessing for church...lol

I didn't say I'll not marry ooo. Anyone that can't abstain from sex should marry, that's what the scripture says, but everyone can't marry, that's my point. Some people were born "eunuchs", no be me talk am.

Did you say selfishness? maybe you have to break it down...

Ok. I understand you better now.

Yes true talk, everyone can't marry; some not of their own choice.

About Eunuchs, sterile or barren people, no be dia fault, na condition make crayfish bend.

In my opinion, if you want to remain single, remain single, not jumping up and down from one relationship/affair to the other.

You and me know that is almost impossible to do.

And you know what the bible says about fornication.

I think that is why the church lays a lot of emphasis on marriage cos body no easy to hold.

ModiKen:


Ok. I understand you better now.

Yes true talk, everyone can't marry; some not of their own choice.

About Eunuchs, sterile or barren people, no be dia fault, na condition make crayfish bend.

In my opinion, if you want to remain single, remain single, not jumping up and down from one relationship/affair to the other.

You and me know that is almost impossible to do.

And you know what the bible says about fornication.

I think that is why the church lays a lot of emphasis on marriage cos body no easy to hold.

I understand your point Sir. Some people that choose to remain single do so because they feel they can't stand the bad times involved in marriage. You know what's happening to most marriages, the rate at which couples now divorce is alarming. Most couples (especially ladies) that are still in it do so for the sake of their children... Due to these and many other reasons, some people choose to be unmarried..

Some guys now prefer to have girlfriends that will give them kids but will not marry.

The right thing for any Christian should be: since you've choosen not to marry, you shouldn't indulge in sex.

If we read the scriptures very well, you discover the preacher said ...two are better than one and a three fold cord is not easily broken, that is to buttress the fact of what Almighty Jehovah said in Genesis that it is not good for man to be alone. Man in these context means either male or female. Jesus also confirm this position in Mathew 19:4 when he said 'and He answered and said unto them, have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female' emphasizing marriage in vs 5. Nevertheless, in Mathew 19:12 he states clearly for the spiritual assignment of ones purpose on earth, the person involved may be created single or decide to remain single. Jesus, John the baptist and Apostle Paul where all single because of their assignment here on earth.

Wrong post......*moonwalks outa here*

ggirl4real:

I understand your point Sir. Some people that choose to remain single do so because they feel they can't stand the bad times involved in marriage. You know what's happening to most marriages, the rate at which couples now divorce is alarming. Most couples (especially ladies) that are still in it do so for the sake of their children... Due to these and many other reasons, some people choose to be unmarried..

Some guys now prefer to have girlfriends that will give them kids but will not marry.

The right thing for any Christian should be: since you've choosen not to marry, you shouldn't indulge in sex.

The right thing for any Christian should be: since you've choosen not to marry, you shouldn't indulge in sex.

Well said.

Roman Catholic church encourages Single hood wella. Anybody whom is called to a life of singlehood should go there, she or he will find solace there.

Sister..... i get your point here, but you should know that, the bible stated it clear in 1 Corinthians 7:2 and 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, please read it, it says, if you are ready to stay unmarried, Avoid fornication, if you cannot do that, get married! So the reason why churches keep hammering on the aspect of marriage is because a lot of people are not doing what the bible says....and if you say you cannot keep yourself or no one has proposed to you, if you are really serious about it, table it before God, he will answer you, the problem today is that people rather table their problems before men and putting the blame on God and men, Pls Read the book of 1 Samuel....

abitex577:
If we read the scriptures very well, you discover the preacher said ...two are better than one and a three fold cord is not easily broken, that is to buttress the fact of what Almighty Jehovah said in Genesis that it is not good for man to be alone. Man in these context means either male or female. Jesus also confirm this position in Mathew 19:4 when he said 'and He answered and said unto them, have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female' emphasizing marriage in vs 5. Nevertheless, in Mathew 19:12 he states clearly for the spiritual assignment of ones purpose on earth, the person involved may be created single or decide to remain single. Jesus, John the baptist and Apostle Paul where all single because of their assignment here on earth.

I get your point Sir. Thanks

delishpot:
Wrong post......*moonwalks outa here*

I think sunwalking will be better.

ATMC:
Roman Catholic church encourages Single hood wella. Anybody whom is called to a life of singlehood should go there, she or he will find solace there.

I'm not a Roman Catholic shaa...but if they do it, it's fine by me.

I just hope they do it with all their heart. It shouldn't be one leg in and one out. Singlehood for a Christian also implies abstaining from sexual sin.

Brendaniel:
Sister..... i get your point here, but you should know that, the bible stated it clear in 1 Corinthians 7:2 and 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, please read it, it says, if you are ready to stay unmarried, Avoid fornication, if you cannot do that, get married! So the reason why churches keep hammering on the aspect of marriage is because a lot of people are not doing what the bible says....and if you say you cannot keep yourself or no one has proposed to you, if you are really serious about it, table it before God, he will answer you, the problem today is that people rather table their problems before men and putting the blame on God and men, Pls Read the book of 1 Samuel....

I encourage anyone to marry if one cannot abstain from sexual sin.

On the issue of no one proposing, I know a lady that got married in her late 30s. I was shocked when she said that the guy was the first man that ever proposed marriage to her. So it happens

I was like saying in my mind, ***she should have said this earlier so I can give her one of these guys that are freaking me out with marriage talks when I'm not ready for it*** (that's on a lighter note shaa)

Thanks for your valid points

ggirl4real:


I think sunwalking will be better.

Hahaha . Sun too hot jarey. Moon is cooler.

The reason is because scriptures do not 'encourage' singlehood. It is stated to be a matter of choice. Paul chose that path but he neve imposed it on nobody.

In short,singlehood is the exception to the rule,so you find the rule 'emphasized'

ggirl4real:




On the issue of no one proposing, I know a lady that got married in her late 30s. I was shocked when she said that the guy was the first man that ever proposed marriage to her. So it happens

probably she spent her earlier time insisting she does not need marriage?

ggirl4real:


Lol...No be small husband I go find. But Sir, "it is not good" doesn't mean it is sinful, from the passage I quoted in Matthew, Jesus Christ himself said that Some people were born eunuchs. Some have never been asked and some have never been accepted... What can you say about that?

God himself respects our decision, in as much as i believe in the institution of marriage, the decision to remain single for the purpose of serving God alone is NOT a sin, but the stigma our society attached to this is worrisome ...

ggirl4real.You may want to read this
on celebacy aka "singlehood"
https://www.nairaland.com/1838612/opinion-why-advise-bornagain-choose

rev14vs11:
ggirl4real.You may want to read this on celebacy aka "singlehood" https://www.nairaland.com/1838612/opinion-why-advise-bornagain-choose

Thanks. I'll check it out

vooks:
The reason is because scriptures do not 'encourage' singlehood. It is stated to be a matter of choice. Paul chose that path but he neve imposed it on nobody.

In short,singlehood is the exception to the rule,so you find the rule 'emphasized'

Yes. Apostle Paul didn't impose it. It's a matter of choice as you said but the society, especially the church, should stop castigating those who have made that choice...thanks for you input

tpiander:



probably she spent her earlier time insisting she does not need marriage?

I doubt o. This is a sister in church that has been believing God for a life partner since I knew her.

I can't tell what could have been wrong shaa

AdeniyiA:


God himself respects our decision, in as much as i believe in the institution of marriage, the decision to remain single for the purpose of serving God alone is NOT a sin, but the stigma our society attached to this is worrisome ...

That's it..stigma from family and society.

Anyone who decides not to marry is tagged "irresponsible"

ggirl4real:


Yes. Apostle Paul didn't impose it. It's a matter of choice as you said but the society, especially the church, should stop castigating those who have made that choice...thanks for you input

Does the society castigate singlehood?