Few weeks has passed and i am finding it difficult to get by all the lies and all the pains. I went to her house after work, to say hello to her. It was raining heavily and since i made up my mind not to hate but to still care. I thought to myself what if it were my mom what would i have done, so i bought some fruits from the shop not too far from her house. I was at her door by 9.00pm on the dot and felt comfortable, since my house was just a stone throw from hers. I asked "ma how was your day", she called my name and said "I beg it's my mouth". I washed the fruit and laid it down on the table and i told her those will be good for you, they have lots of vitamin c in them. All that proceeded from her mouth was, "where is my son and when is he coming to visit me". I told her he was busy but i am here so i represent him ma, so she chuckled and i fell she was just fine with that. In my presence she picked her phone and called her son, telling him she is his pillar and life. I was looking at her in surprise but took my eyes off before she could notice. I know my husband was there two days before I visited and now she wants him to always come to her house to talk and eat?
Anyways i stayed for a while, i got on my way home and found out there was no keke or vehicle going my way, i had to walk home. It was late, the estate gate was locked and i was stranded. I had no credit to call my husband, i was left with N50 from the N1150 fruit and couldn't buy any recharge. I knocked till my knuckles hurt, at last the gate was open. After a stressful day i quickly prepared something for my husband to eat and to a shower. Two days later, which was on a Thursday, My husband started fighting with me after he dropped the call and said his mom said i don't visit. I tried to explain and ask if she would want me to come everyday, i will not be productive at work the next day and i just visited a day before and want to go again on a Saturday. He wouldn't listen to me and the next thing he said was, "I know you don't like her, you wish she were dead". I was short of words, i am an Ibadan girl and i was thought never to talk when you husband is talking. My husband is an Ibo man and you can imagine the tone from his my mother my mother, i couldn't help but cry and regret. I kept asking my self what have i done wrong? Did i hurt her by coming to visit late?
Did i say something wrong?
If it were my dressing but i never dressed flashy and one of her wrappers can buy all that i wear in 5 days. or was it the way i talked, was i too secretive, was it because i closed late?
O may be because i wasn't too cool with her in our house cooking for my husband, This were the thoughts that kept on firing in my head. Please what have i done wrong, my be i can adjust, i need your help!

This is how people become stumbling block to the life of others. I can observe that you are even displeasing yourself to please her but I don't think she would ever come through. Your miscreant husband is not helping matters.
I would advice you to stop going there entirely, mind your family and don't get in your husband's crossfire. Let him pack over yo that place and live with her since visitation is all she needs in her life. By the time she misses you for months, her body go calm down. Just pray for that temptation.

How come you have two threads with the same topic

Pidggin:
How come you have two threads with the same topic

Its the continuation of the first story.

You have issues abeg @ OP. Shuo. Take it easy with the " reporting and MIL wahala"

How did your MIL suddenly switch from your friend to fiend after marriage?


Your house was a stone throw away from yours yet you were looking for keke/bike and you were stranded?

MrsDoctor:
Few weeks has passed and i am finding it difficult to get by all the lies and all the pains. I went to her house after work, to say hello to her. It was raining heavily and since i made up my mind not to hate but to still care. I thought to myself what if it were my mom what would i have done, so i bought some fruits from the shop not too far from her house. I was at her door by 9.00pm on the dot and felt comfortable, since my house was just a stone throw from hers. I asked "ma how was your day", she called my name and said "I beg it's my mouth". I washed the fruit and laid it down on the table and i told her those will be good for you, they have lots of vitamin c in them. All that proceeded from her mouth was, "where is my son and when is he coming to visit me". I told her he was busy but i am here so i represent him ma, so she chuckled and i fell she was just fine with that. In my presence she picked her phone and called her son, telling him she is his pillar and life. I was looking at her in surprise but took my eyes off before she could notice. I know my husband was there two days before I visited and now she wants him to always come to her house to talk and eat?
Anyways i stayed for a while, i got on my way home and found out there was no keke or vehicle going my way, i had to walk home. It was late, the estate gate was locked and i was stranded. I had no credit to call my husband, i was left with N50 from the N1150 fruit and couldn't buy any recharge. I knocked till my knuckles hurt, at last the gate was open. After a stressful day i quickly prepared something for my husband to eat and to a shower. Two days later, which was on a Thursday, My husband started fighting with me after he dropped the call and said his mom said i don't visit. I tried to explain and ask if she would want me to come everyday, i will not be productive at work the next day and i just visited a day before and want to go again on a Saturday. He wouldn't listen to me and the next thing he said was, "I know you don't like her, you wish she were dead". I was short of words, i am an Ibadan girl and i was thought never to talk when you husband is talking. My husband is an Ibo man and you can imagine the tone from his my mother my mother, i couldn't help but cry and regret. I kept asking my self what have i done wrong? Did i hurt her by coming to visit late?
Did i say something wrong?
If it were my dressing but i never dressed flashy and one of her wrappers can buy all that i wear in 5 days. or was it the way i talked, was i too secretive, was it because i closed late?
O may be because i wasn't too cool with her in our house cooking for my husband, This were the thoughts that kept on firing in my head. Please what have i done wrong, my be i can adjust, i need your help!

There is enough blame to go round here but you need a solution.

Since you and your husband don't seem to be able to discuss these issues, write a letter explaining what you have done. State the days you went to visit your mother-in-law. Include the things you have done for her. Do not blame anyone. Just state your own side of the story. Start from there.

Hmm...This z realy sad. In my own case it was his older brother's wife collaboratin wit hz aunt 2frustrate me.
I think ur problem startd 4rm ur hubby. You seem like a gentle person so here is wat i think u should do. Sit him down and talk about it,if he acts funny den maybe u should take it to anyone who seems mature in his family because your husband and his mother are acting immature.
Secondly,der r some women who are naturally in-laws frm hell. You can't please them. If after doin all dz ntin happens den just overlook it. Keep visiting her and buyin her things,even if she throws 'em at your face or in the bin,dnt stop. Kip being polite 2her nd respect her. When ur hubby wants 2start up a fight bout it,apologise first then in a clear,firm tone of voice tell him u feel hurt and insulted.
Trust me, i hav bin der nd now my sister-in-laws come to me to 'gist'.
I can understand how you feel but have in mind that not everyone must like you. It's her loss that she cannot understand how special you are. Channel your hurt into smtin productive. Do not spend ur last cash on fruits nxt time.
Remember you are nt doing all dez tins because u want 2make her like you,ure doing it so your conscience would be clear nd u can boldy say "I have done all that is expected of me." If she wants 2 kukuma move into ur house,abeg,let her.
Dnt 4get,d nicer u become,the meaner she gets BUT dnt let her win.

Girl you are in for a big ride, to even think you just got married smh, brace yourself for along journey of agony

Stop calling or visiting that mother in law unless, you are in the company of your husband( she obviously seems not to like you and has a tussle of power with you) selfish on her side though

When your husband calls her, say "Hun can I talk to your mom, " or call in your husband presence so there
Is evidence you are calling her

When both of you are off from work, encourage hubby and you to go visit, don't go alone

Trust the spiderz of nairaland to crawl out and spin webs on this thread.

Patience ozorkwor

Madam, shebi dem don tell you make you leave your Mil to mind her business while you mind yours.

I beg to differ on my piece of advice ma'am.since your house is a bit close and oga would always prefer you go to his mum, pls i shall advic you sometimes go to her house after work,stay with her,try to help wt some house chores , cook for her and dish some for her son from the food, that will to some lenght dissipate alot of your ogas anger towards you.trust me if you start doing it atimes like this,your relationship will improve.To have good relationship between oga,his mum and you, you must love whatever he loves,you (if including your going over to sleep in his mothers house).pls do not allow this few ladies (telling you various ways of brewing hate between you and you MIL)who majorly aint married and if married ,live in homes@turned upside down to ill advice you o.you promised to obey all his commands b4 marriage,so pls with all joy and humility,improve upon the relationship between u and his mother,that will inturn improve the love between that b/w u and oga.This mother is supposed to be the one to always stand for you infront of your husband and any of his people any day any tim, and you wanna make he ur enemy now??!,pls NO NO NO NO.MAY D GOOD OLD LORD GIVE YOU MORE WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING OF MATRIMONY.(PLS ma,i write out of experience,i wont want to write more than this on a public forum where lots of people know too much than knowledge its self!!)Save your Home At All Cost ma

I beg to differ on my piece of advice ma'am.since your house is a bit close and oga would always prefer you go to his mum, pls i shall advic you sometimes go to her house after work,stay with her,try to help wt some house chores , cook for her and dish some for her son from the food, that will to some lenght dissipate alot of your ogas anger towards you.trust me if you start doing it atimes like this,your relationship will improve.To have good relationship between oga,his mum and you, you must love whatever he loves,you (if including your going over to sleep in his mothers house).pls do not allow this few ladies (telling you various ways of brewing hate between you and you MIL)who majorly aint married and if married ,live in homes@turned upside down to ill advice you o.you promised to obey all his commands b4 marriage,so pls with all joy and humility,improve upon the relationship between u and his mother,that will inturn improve the love between that b/w u and oga.This mother is supposed to be the one to always stand for you infront of your husband and any of his people any day any tim, and you wanna make he ur enemy now??!,pls NO NO NO NO.MAY D GOOD OLD LORD GIVE YOU MORE WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING OF MATRIMONY.(PLS ma,i write out of experience,i wont want to write more than this on a public forum where lots of people know too much than knowledge its self!!)Save your Home At All Cost ma,if you need more counsel,u may drop your line lts talk.

Kudos to u on r paience and preserverance.
first u need ro find out y she doesnt like u. U shud also continue being nice to her cos someday u may see ur sincerity and eventually change.
it could also be dt she doesnt like the intertribal marriage. Maybe she hoped her son wud have married a fellow igbo and so is sceptical that u as a yoruba girl wont be able to respect their customs as an igbo girl would.
but then, u havr to let ur husband know u also have a right to him and she has to respect that.

For goodness sake be good from a distance!!!!
Respect yourself !!!
If u want to visit,visit with with your hubby....
If she comes to your house..treat her great!
But never go to her place n be forming ' maid' just so she likes you...
#myonekobo

What is all this
Thought marriage is meant to be enjoyed
which kind slave be all this
Abeg Goodnight

This story sounds made up to me.

MIL things.
Anyway, since your homes are close you canbgo visiting every 2days but tell hubby before you both leave for work in the morning. Always have small credit on your phone so that as soon as you get to mama's house, you can call your hubby after 15min and inform him you're with her. Let him talk to her on your phone. Possibly sef Cook there and take dinner home to hubby.
Every month end, collect money from hubby for shopping for foodstuff and consumables for mama. Let hubby see all you bought for her and you guys should always take it to her together. Don't mix it with your shopping at home so that you guys can have an accurate account.
When at home with hubby on days you didn't go to see mama, use your phone to call her and let hubby talk to her on your phone.
All these don't mean you're a fool or jobless, its just to show hubby you're trying and if she should complain to him about you, he will know she's the one that's troublesome.
That advice is for you since you seem to be a very fragile somborry.
However, for me if i were in that situation, i'll prolly visit her at most once a week, and cook stew or something to take to her, and call her maybe every 3days. I'll however always remind hubby to visit daily and send my hugs to her. I hardly call my own mom but she always tries to call me regularly. It doesn't mean I don't love her, just that life gets so busy for me a times.

Poster stay away

When some people hate you, they find you irritating trying to impose yourselves on them

The fact that you live closer, is a recipe for disaster

Just exercise wisdom,

@ MrsDoctor, what you are going through is so unfortunate but you have to be strong. I mean very strong. Judging from what you wrote, you are indeed trying to get along with her and if all what you wrote is true then you have a very needy MIL. Which means you have to take your stand and do what works for you and not your MIL and husband. You are not married to her son so that you can be mama's puppet.

My advice to you is don't go against/advice your husband against whatever he wants to do for her mum.

Always inform your husband when you call or visit her.

Don't start what you can finish. Don't go there and start cooking, washing clothes, plates, floor all because you want to get in her good book. All those things will most likely bring other complaints like her food is salty e.t.c.

If i were you, i'll text and call her more than visit her.

Pray that the desires of your husband will be to love, cherish, protect and nurture you.

Goodluck!

Do not carry her on your head. Play with caution for the woman has few more years to live... some of these mother inlaw sef uhnnnnn

freecocoa:
This story sounds made up to me.

Your signature z dah bomb.

freecocoa:
This story sounds made up to me.

U dis woman

IjogzK:
U dis woman

Lol, you this criminal? So you are still alive?

Hannysmilez:

Your signature z dah bomb.

Why, thank you.

freecocoa:
Lol, you this criminal? So you are still alive?

I was about saying the same about you.. Y did they allow me waste my R.I.P on you.. Giving me false info. Drank on your behalf self

IjogzK:
I was about saying the same about you.. Y did they allow me waste my R.I.P on you.. Giving me false info. Drank on your behalf self

Abok1. Hope the drink was a good one? but I'm still alive sha.

When will you be released from prison?

I am missing you o.

freecocoa:
Abok1. Hope the drink was a good one? but I'm still alive sha.

When will you be released from prison?

I am missing you o.

Same here dear.. Hopefully next month.. Tho dere's now wifi in our prison.. will buzz u up on whatsapp now. tho i am bout going to work. so i wouldnt be able to reply. Av a great nyt rest dear.

IjogzK:
Same here dear.. Hopefully next month.. Tho dere's now wifi in our prison.. will buzz u up on whatsapp now. tho i am bout going to work. so i wouldnt be able to reply. Av a great nyt rest dear.

Take care love.

Inter-tribal marriages.

DollyParton1:
Inter-tribal marriages.

My thoughts too, that to me is the real issue, :-Xbut the husband no try at all! Op you should have seen the signs when you we're courting your husband!

You don't beg people to love you. If they don't love you they don't love you. Don't you have dignity?

As she was treating you with contempt body no dey pepper you?

If she keeps complaining over the same thing like an "old witch"tell your husband that when he goes you too will go.afterall you have a family. Even if your father is a messenger you shouldn't be treated like that. Abi is wife = iya ni?