Government policy on students hostel accommodation i.e. encouraging private developers may have its good side but from my observation, the inability of the institution expanding and building new hostels has forced several students to look out word for accommodation. This trend has led to the emergence of an unacceptable trend in most tertiary institution. Some call it campus marriage but I would rather call it “cohabitation” among students. Since its an indecent act penetrated off campus. Cohabitation is simply an act of a man and woman living together and having a sexual relationship without being married. This growing trend is gradually eroding the “near absent” level of morality among the youths. I would prepare to describe it as a deadly trend in Nigeria’s tertiary institutions. Sometimes I wonder what kind of leaders my generation would produce, considering the saying “Youths are leaders of tomorrow”. The off campus phenomenon is most preferred by student in Nigeria tertiary institutions considering some genuine reasons like the poor sanitary condition in hostels and the over crowding. However, most students have their selfish and unrealistic reasons. Taking a closer look on our campus today, unmarried student do not only live together but some of them engage in sexual activities, among other things which married couple, do (cohabitating). The reason why students cohabit are not far fetched some students who agreed to have their minds on this issues say it is by living together that the so called “couples” get to know if they are compatible or not for marriage this they said is the reason why they take the period of living together as “husband and wife” as a period to test their compatibility. While some cohabitating students find it difficult to live apart because of the strong physical intimacy between them, the addictive prowess of sex over them make confuse sex for love. A relationship that has strong dependency on sexual intimacy makes it quite difficult for the ‘couples’ to receive other problems. They begin to use sex as a way of convincing themselves that the relationship is moving fine. Instead of the sexual act being a life-given act of mutual love, it is becoming a life-drawing and self-abuse of the other part. Many a times, the need for companionship and fear of loneliness becomes so strong among students that they begin to think they cannot wait for marriage before living together. This eventually leads to insecurity especially on the part of the ladies. Say no to cohabitation because you will spare yourself the pain and grief of finding out that you were being used rather than loved, sex and love are not the same thing. It is hundred percent possible for one to have sex with you and not to love you. A student of University of Ibadan who lives with his girlfriend said ‘It is not wrong, it is an opportunity for them to know each other better’. Other students who responded on this matter said they decided to cohabite for economic and financial reasons among others and to some others students it is for this reason that male students are not allowed to enter into the female hostels that they opt for accommodation off campus to have access for propinquity to their pattern. In this sophisticated world, where people have freedom to live their lives the way they choose, the youth especially student are not left behind in this trend ad they express their freedom by living independently with a fellow students of the opposite sex, outside the promise of marriage particularly among those who live off campus. Our contemporary society, thrusts young men and women into each other world more than increasing such that young people of both genders now do not find anything wrong in cohabitating. My pain as a woman is that this young ladies, beautiful ladies, beautiful creature of Allah, mothers of tomorrow. It is a very sad to hear that this young brilliant men and women living with each other. First the greatest problem mankind is facing is not producing children, but taking care of them. One need to be told that many people are where they are today, because of the effort or failure of their parents. How are you planning to take care of your children so that they should have a brighter future or are you planning to live them at the mercy of God? That is good, but a stitch in times saves nine. Build yours solidly and leave the rest to God. According to Dr. Khalifa Ali Dikwa of the Department of English, University of Maiduguri said during their time in school 1981-1985 cohabitation did not exist among them. Although it existed but what they engaged themselves mostly was in reading they had the best result and most of them came out with the best result at the end of their time they celebrated both the men and women who came out and there some of them chose their wives. This proves that the time of our fathers and mothers nevertheless the best because what we do with our lives now is against our culture, tradition and most of all our religion. “Q 31 – 3 - 2 ” Nor come to night to adultery: For it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils): Q 896 – 2 – 3 the women and the men guilty of adultery or fornication, flog each of them with a hundred spipes: let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by God, if ye believe in God and the last day: And let a part of the believers witness their punishments. Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry and but a women similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: Nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: To the believers such a thing is forbidden’. ‘Corinthians 1 – 7vs – 1 – 5. It is good for a man not to have sex with a woman. But because sexual sin is a danger, each man should then have his own wife and his women should have her own husband’. These are the word of God that means cohabitation is not good for we students because this is proving to us that this are not the kind of things we are supposed to in school. Oh! My brothers and sisters in Nigeria tertiary institution why are we doing things that our parents did not do during their time in school? Why are we going against our God? Why? Why would some students take cohabitation at something that is not a big deal? To them, it actually comes along in form of liberation. The more time change it remains save. Abdulwahab Tajudeen Tiamiyu a student of Ahmadu Bello University Zaria said cohabitating entail practice of two unrelated persons of opposite sex living together under marriage – like condition without being legally married. This implies that cohabitating is now the model form of courtship, which apparently is on the rise among students living off campus. The students whose major purpose of coming to the tertiary institution is to acquire knowledge now combine “married life with academic” how serious they accept this new way of life, poses another puzzle entirely. How would a mother feel when she hears that her son, daughter says they cannot do without sex, or living with a man or a lady. I will like to advice parents, they should always try to find out where their son or daughter lives in school, if they are living off campus with who and who are their friends. How are you going to feel when the man call your boyfriend, love, use you for a reference. A male student of University of Lagos department of Public Law (named withheld) did not hesitate to use his girlfriend at a point of reference, as he says the ladies are the cause of cohabitation situation because they move around them often. He said some ladies find it difficult to live without engaging in active sex four times a week. He said for this reason (the female student) prefer to move in with their boyfriends. He claimed that whenever the weather is cold, the ladies always want their men around them. It is then becoming quite worrisome that students who lives as ‘husband and wife’ are found of getting unwanted pregnancies and other related implications especially with the acceptance of artificial contraceptives: the trend is more encouraged and the possibilities of getting pregnant is no longer a deterrent. Even when pregnancy occurs, they try to get rid of it by all means. When a female student lives with her boy friend on campus, she is fooled into believing that the relationship will last forever. She undertakes every domestic activity like doing the laundry and most of the time. This often result in very pathetic situation, when after leaving school the boy not only dismiss the relationship, but may also leave her with an embarrassing and uncomfortable parting gift: and unwanted pregnancy or even HIV/ AIDS and other STD diseases. Recently, a “couple” living together in one of the campus lodges in the Federal Polytechnic of Bida, had a baby and lost the baby due to their inability to cater for the baby financially. Although it is very possible that campus relationship end in marriage, think about how many of such relationship lead to marriage. Instead, it is a story of one heart break after the other. The crux of the matter is that most cohabitation end on campus. However, there is a lot of more involved in cohabitation, sexual activities that just two bodies coming together for fun or passion. Sex can bring more pains than you can imagine. In fact, casual sex is like placing your bed spread on the floor at the chicken house. In this case, there are reasons for saying “No cohabitation, sex before marriage”. It is shocking that now sex, cohabitating now becoming one of the Nigerian favourite subject, you hear jokes about it from our campus girls, guys, secondary school student and we see it in almost the videos and Television we watch. Cohabitation and sex has been identified as the only means use to improve their love towards each other. On the other hand, someone who is keeping sex from marriage is seen as weird or a religious fanatic. However, it is seems cohabitation has so many disadvantages on us ladies it is now better for us to have the best quality of a beautiful woman in order for the men to run after us instead of us going after them. “A beautiful woman is a woman with respect, love, kindness, a woman with ego, who knows when to drop it and when to keep it high. A woman with charisma, a woman who can sustain her personality, who knows how to acquire what she desires without throwing virtue, grace and personality at the feet of unworthy adversaries. A woman who is filled with excellence and it radiates like a million stars from the eyes. Women who intelligence baffles and attracts many, who positively affect people morally, socially, academically as well as psychologically cannot cohabit with student like her in the name of the love”. I have seen relationship without cohabitation and sex and it has been moving fine with respect and love. Mostly, this are the kind of relationship our mothers had with our fathers and it has always lasted forever, why is our own not like that. We need to put our heads and hearts together in order to find a lasting solution to this deadly trend of cohabitation.

During your versity days, did you cohabit? what's the pros and cons in it..........share your experience

vizkiz:
bro, you are preaching to the choir

why you talk like that...... did you support cohabiting among youths?

Kingsley1000:
why you talk like that...... did you support cohabiting among youths?

Yes.
Now go back to bed.

iLaugh

Well, Cohabiting is very wrong among unmarried students, but, what remains definite, is, You just do not know their reason in entirety for Cohabiting.
It is not only for Sex!!

sayz*A Crow lived in the Forest and was absolutely satisfied in life. But one day he saw a Swan... This Swan is so white and I am so black.. Crow thought. This Swan must be the happiest bird in the world. He expressed his thoughts to the Swan. "Actually," the Swan replied, "I was feeling that I was the happiest bird around until I saw a Parrot, which has two colours. I now think the Parrot is the happiest bird in creation." The Crow then approached the Parrot The Parrot explained, "I lived a very happy life— until I saw a Peacock. I have only two colours, but the Peacock has multiple colours." The Crow then visited a Peacock in the zoo and saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see him. After the people had left, The Crow approached the Peacock.. Dear Peacock, You are so beautiful. Every day thousands of people come to see you. When people see me, they immediately shove me away. I think you are the happiest bird on the planet. The Peacock replied, I always thought that I was the most beautiful and happy bird on the planet. But because of my beauty, I am entrapped in this zoo. I have examined the zoo very carefully, and I have realized that the Crow is the only bird not kept in a cage. So for the past few days I have been thinking that if I were a Crow, I could happily roam everywhere. That's our problem too. We make unnecessary comparison with others and become sad. We don't value what God has given us. This all leads to the vicious cycle of unhappiness. Let's value the things God has given us. Learn the secret of being happy and discard the comparison which leads only to unhappiness.. Say "I thank you God for everything." Beauty is not a guarantee to marriage. Falling sick does not mean you are about to die. Getting rich is not the definition of prosperity. Building a nice house is not enjoying luxury. Sleeping on an expensive bed does not bring you sound sleep. Driving a new car is not a guarantee that you're going to arrive at your destination. Wearing the best clothes does not mean they look good on you. Having a family doctor does not guarantee permanent health. Being highly educated is not a sign of wisdom. Marrying a rich guy does not guarantee a happy marriage. Winning an argument does not mean that you are correct. Whatever is done without the merit of Heaven is fake or temporal. He who builds without God, is building for nothing; and he who watches over a city without God, watches in vain. Not everything is possible with men. Yet everything is possible with God. Stay blessed!

vizkiz:
bro, you are preaching to the choir

My brother the choir will give him audience

the niqqa is talking Jesus to Fulani herdsmen

AbuMikey:
iLaugh

Well, Cohabiting is very wrong among unmarried students, but, what remains definite, is, You just do not know their reason in entirety for Cohabiting.
It is not only for Sex!!

lame! so those cohabiting don't have sex?

Coming back wen this makes fp

Yungwizzzy:


My brother the choir will give him audience

the niqqa is talking Jesus to Fulani herdsmen

you are clamouring"bokoharam bring back our girls ".........you that re cohabiting, you ain't different from them

No paragragh, I can't read that.

jmoore:
No paragragh, I can't read that.

then use the topic to comment

Those day of being a student,Cohabitation sweet my guy if you no been dey cohabit you go dey jealous people on code dey form say e no go.
Benefits na the small one I know be this oh ;
1.You guyz share domestic chores together
2.Your pain is her pain
3. Plan your budget together.
4. Your friends are her friends
In fact I no fit talk to much e be like marriage and e make sense for those who love am.
@ You OP Only The Weak Complain of Injustice. Because you didn't have the opportunity you criticise it

Kingsley1000:
you are clamouring"bokoharam bring back our girls ".........you that re cohabiting, you ain't different from them

How? we kill anybody? abi is it illegal in the constitution?


make una see mumu oo

Fozi:
Those day of being a student,Cohabitation sweet my guy if you no been dey cohabit you go dey jealous people on code dey form say e no go.
Benefits na the small one I know be this oh ;
1.You guyz share domestic chores together
2.Your pain is her pain
3. Plan your budget together.
4. Your friends are her friends
In fact I no fit talk to much e be like marriage and e make sense for those who love am.
@ You OP Only The Weak Complain of Injustice. Because you didn't have the opportunity you criticise it

INTERESTING! WHO PAYS THE HOUSE RENT AND OTHER EXPENSES IN THE HOUSE,IS THERE A MUTUAL CONTRIBUTION?AND HOW DO U GUYS COPE WITH STUDIES?

Cohabiting in school.is bad abi,buh what of cohabiting after school

Yes it is bad,buh if nobody is complaining between the two parties involved,i dont see the problem there,we are all adult n are able to make decisions

Btw kossyablaze,thank you for the encouragement,why not create a thread with it

Yungwizzzy:


How? we kill anybody? abi is it illegal in the constitution?


make una see mumu oo

buh it's socially unaccepted and ridiculous,as a student,the meagre hand out(money)your parents give u to take care of ursef,you use it to cater for r/ship at the detriment of ur academics.......haven't seen a student that cohabited that came out with a fabulous result

misspicy:
Cohabiting in school.is bad abi,buh what of cohabiting after school

Yes it is bad,buh if nobody is complaining between the two parties involved,i dont see the problem there,we are all adult n are able to make decisions

Btw kossyablaze,thank you for the encouragement,why not create a thread with it

ok hon

Jeez! See long epistle...no paragraph...the funny part is that the whole le boo and la bae stuffs ends as soon as they graduate...nt long ago,a male frnd of mine asked me where i stay,i told him i stay in school hostel..he was suprised(reasons best known to him),like play,like play this guy started persuading me to come and stay with him..and i was like;look at this one oh,as wetin nah...lol.

Kingsley1000:
INTERESTING! WHO PAYS THE HOUSE RENT AND OTHER EXPENSES IN THE HOUSE,IS THERE A MUTUAL CONTRIBUTION?AND HOW DO U GUYS COPE WITH STUDIES?

Nice questions . in some cases the both may decide to pay rents or one among the both may shoulder. With regards to study you guys attend the same school and fix goals for each other,go to school to read together. Due to living together you begin to see yourselves as brothers and sisters. with regards to bill you guys among yourselves would know how to deal with light bills,water bills etc . However those who participate in this feel the taste of marriage and would know how to cope and tolerate each other

chomytex:
Jeez! See long epistle...no paragraph...the funny part is that the whole le boo and la bae stuffs ends as soon as they graduate...nt long ago,a male frnd of mine asked me where i stay,i told him i stay in school hostel..he was suprised(reasons best known to him),like play,like play this guy started persuading me to come and stay with him..and i was like;look at this one oh,as wetin nah...lol.

see what you'v missed,the young man wants to take care of you,take you to a serene and condusive environment to live amid the privacy u're going to enjoy,,,why did you decline?