Dilemma - Romance - Nairaland
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I Am In An Emotional Dilemma. Please Help! / My Dilemma With A Married Woman I Encountered In My Office / A Must Read.. 'a Story Called Dilemma'..a Nightmare On My 2go Girlfriends Visit. (2) (3) (4)
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| Dilemma by abbssx(f): 7:30pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
Hi I actually don't even know where to begin but I guess I might as well start from the beginning. I met O while I was waiting at the bus stop. The bus was kinda late and he came past me and checked the time on the wall. He started to make small talk with me and usually I ignore such but I decided that day to talk back and we spoke etc. He asked me if I was AA or Carribean and I said neither. I asked him to guess where I am from and he said he couldn't guess. I told him I am closer to him then he realised ( I could tell by his Nigerian accent that he was Nigerian) that I am also a fellow west african. His eyes shot up and still he couldn't guess. So I told him I am from ..... at that time the bus came and he got in and I was behind him. I was still deciding whether I should sit next to him or not but in the end I decided to sit next to him |
| Re: Dilemma by agarawu23(m): 7:31pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
Mitcheew Bullshit of the week   |
| Re: Dilemma by Nobody: 7:35pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
So have you sat? Is the dilemma about that, sitting? Mnxm |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 7:41pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
In the bus he was like so you are from........wow he actually was living there for 5 years before he moved over to the USA. He loves...... and he even takes it as his second country. He started to speak briefly in my local language and we laughed and talked for a bit. He asked me where I am getting off and he was getting off at the same stop. ( Turns out he lived a stone throw away from me) Once he got of the bus he made a phone call to a female friend of his from same 'country' and he phoned her in my presence telling her he met a beautiful girl like her from.....and I should speak to her. Honestly I thought it was kinda weird and she was speaking to me in my local language but I was responding here and there in english as I am not fully fluent(came to the USA when i was 6 months) So I asked him how long has he been here. He told me about 2 years and asked me and I told him since I was 6 months. We chatted a bit and we came to my stop and he asked for my phone number. I had to think about it for a while cos I was just being friendly. I wanted nothing more. He was very friendly and the fact that he spoke my language was a plus. I gave him my number because I just thought worse case scenario can always block him if he becomes too much |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 7:42pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
Lol guys please be patient. It's a very long story |
| Re: Dilemma by Tallesty1(m): 7:50pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
Never seen an alphabet that talks. 1 Like |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 7:51pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
My phone rang non-stop for about 3 days or so with private number. I personally don't answer private numbers but I kinda had a feeling it was him. He later called me while I was at work so I sent him an automatic message that I am busy at work and he should call me back later He then responded that how can I send such a message. Do I even know who this is I told him yes you are the guy from the bus. I hardly give my number out so it's obvious that you are the one. That evening he called me and I finally answered. For some reason I sound different on the phone so he thought he dialed the wrong number. We spoke for almost an hour and this guy already wanted me to come to his place..... I told him hey I actually have a boyfriend and am in a serious relationship when I gave him my number it was merely just me being friendly. I don't just go to strange guys homes so if he is looking for something more then he should not waste his time |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 7:51pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
Tallesty1:lol you are funny |
| Re: Dilemma by Nobody: 7:53pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
abbssx: There's only 24hrs in a day, woman!  You have about 3 hrs left to finish this novel, if not, then it becomes yesterday's news. Hurry up!3 Likes |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 7:55pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
He became quite defensive and was like is this the same friendly girl I met at the bus stop. Why are you like this. It's fine I won't ever bother you again but whenever you are ready to talk and want to be my friend you have my number, it will be on your terms and he hung up...... I started to feel bad so I called him back. We spoke for almost 2 hours and then I slept off That was how the beginning of our friendship started. |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 7:56pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
PunkyVeer: Lol don't worry I am going to cut a lot of stuff out and get to the main business |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 8:01pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
Okay I was actually not in a relationship at that time(which he eventually figured out...) Anyways we became good friends and he did try his luck in the bedroom department after only 1 week ... I mean wtf. He even told me he was in love with me lol. I never took him serious No offense to anybody I generally don't get myself involved with Fresh of the boat guys. They just want papers most of the time. |
| Re: Dilemma by afolwalex20(m): 8:04pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
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| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 8:04pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
So we became closer and closer. Spoke everyday, almost saw each other every day. Dude kept telling everyone that we were dating ...then it started..... My permit has expired..... |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 8:23pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
I have never dated a Nigerian guy before. I won't like I never thought I would cos all my friends who did have all had issues. I guess the saying Never say never is very true. I knew that it was getting there with the hints, lies and clues here and there when we eventually started dating. He however thought that the I love u's and the x will make me become a mumu for him but it did not. It got to the stage where he thought that he was scamming me and I let him think he is scamming me but I was actually a level ahead. We were both playing games I won't lie there is a reason I stayed as long as I did with him but I think it's best for you peeps to use your imaginations  So I confronted him about it. I told him that he thinks he can use me to get his green card. If that's what he want he should stop wasting his time with me and he should try other prospects. He was like me. Me marry someone for papers. Common papers lol. If I really wanted paper I can get it easily. The Akatas are very cheap. I can just get one of them and get my papers but that's not what I am about. That's not what I want. I choose you and I wanted to be with you because you are a fellow west African and you are from.... I can never ever marry an Akata not in this life or next. I don't want you for papers trust me |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 8:38pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
I have never dated a guy like him before. My first by before him we dated for like 5years but we broke up due to long distance (different countries) and then I met him. So he was technically my second boyfriend. Sometimes it seems like it's my fault. He always excuses me that I think the worst of him. That he confided in me about the permit thing cos we are close but I am using it against him now. That he really is not using me for papers. That he just wants to be with me and does not want to lose me. So I am kinda in a dilemma of sorts. I dunno if I can trust the guy cos I don't want to be made a fool off. But what if he is telling the truth? Apart from this paper issue that is our biggest problem in the relationship. He told me that he did have someone in Nigeria but he is not sure of the relationship because he is not planning on going back and now that he has met me too he wants to be with me. Truth is as much as I am a toughie and a no nonsense girl. He has grown on me. I do have feelings for him. I guess I just can't believe I am on this situation where I swore I would never allow myself to get  Am I being unreasonable? 1 Like |
| Re: Dilemma by ronald4lif(m): 8:47pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
So this is it? All the I'm not that kinda girl and tough lady stint was just an illusion and false sense of self worth? Someone once told me that any lady that tells you she's not that kinda girl you can deceive are usually the most gullible. You just proved it. When you asked him if he was in for the papers and affirming he's just wasting his time what were you expecting? That he owns up to his 'motive'? You're certainly being played and dude is in for the "pali" and nothing else. The speed light in which he started professing love is suspicious. Get a grip of yourself miss braggadocio. 1 Like |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 8:53pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
ronald4lif: Lmao. This is what gets to me the most. Trust me I myself used to get annoyed when other girls used to go through similar stuff and I am like wth are you still doing there. It's different when you are in that situation. I have left him but I guess I just miss him and perhaps I wanted to find out whether in fact it was just me being paranoid. Another thing about professing love quickly. I think it must be a West African thing cos men from my country do the same thing. Lol in fact my first boyfriend I dated of 5 years said it quicker than expected. But you are right though |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 8:56pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
In life one should never say never. I was someone who would never ever date a Nigerian especially fresh of the boat because of all the stories and complaints from people I know and look where I found myself. Life is just full of strange twist and turns. |
| Re: Dilemma by Nobody: 8:57pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
abbssx: So basically, he wants you guys to marry? Don't you think that's a little coincidental with his paper issues? Out of curiosity, how long have you been dating? I don't wanna tell you to drop him but tell him that you'd like to get to know him LONGER before actually marrying him. That should tell you his true intentions. If he gets panicky & pushy, then you'll know that he wants to do it for his convenience. However, if he is willing to wait, even with the pressure of his status, then he's a keeper for sure. PS: his permit issues are really none of your business. So it's expirying? Well, tough! Just don't rush yourself. I don't trust him already |
| Re: Dilemma by Slimzjoe(m): 9:01pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
all this girls Claiming Uptight and Tough Nut to crack I have nothing to say |
| Re: Dilemma by Nobody: 9:02pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
So this is it? This is the dilemma? Mtchew.. |
| Re: Dilemma by Nobody: 9:05pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
So this is it? This is the dilemma? Mtchew.. I think your dilemma here is misplaced priorities. You are supposed to be seriously jacking a brighter grammar now and not wondering if some dude is taking you for a ride. |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 9:09pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
PunkyVeer: Lol he says that he does not want to get married now. We still have a lot to get to know each other and we also need to know where we from hometown, family etc. He says that he does not take marriage as a joke because that's why he is yet to get married at his age (he is 35) we are 8 years apart but I initially thought he was also much younger. So stuff like this gets me confused. He is very romantic and extremely lovey dovey. He always wants to hold, cuddle and a lot of stuff. Very affectionate guy so all this leaves me confused. He is also very churchy. I mean there are times we would watch sermons together and he can never miss church. He actually helps out in church activities. In his church there are a lot of ladies who like him too. Last time when we went to church the way this lady was staring at me. My word it's obvious she wants him. So he says if it's about papers then he can get it from many girls It has been over a year since we started dating and I have known him for a year and 2 months |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 9:10pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
Slimzjoe: Tough nuts do Crack too eventually . |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 9:12pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
sylvalord: Sorry for any grammatical errors. Predictive text is to blame and I don't always proof read before posting. Just bear with me |
| Re: Dilemma by ronald4lif(m): 9:14pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
abbssx: It's hard to trust the motive of anyone abroad who doesn't have papers when they claim love. Such love never exist and it's a plot to regularize status abroad. Immediately you said you had lived in the States since you were 6months he knew you're a legal resident and had to start making advances. Whether it's real or not its not something worth risking. Trust me if he sees an akata who can fall for his trick he'd play same rhythm of love to her. Guys say I love you for various reasons. For a lady I just want to shag I won't hesitate to play the love game on her. It's designed to weaken her defence asap and straff and move on. If she's not the gullible type and stretches me I move on. But for someone I like and feel something for I'd be cautious to tell I love you coz I'm aware most guys use on her a lot. We might go for months and months before I eventually say it by which time she'd hardly doubt me as my actions have proven to be that of love. It doesn't mean someone can't feel love instantaneously but for the fact that its one of the most common words guys say to women and that lady hears it every time from different guys it'd slim one's chances to persuade a lady for a romance. 5 Likes |
| Re: Dilemma by Nobody: 9:18pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
abbssx: Bible thumpers are the biggest hypocrites Don't buy into that. I still don't get what's confusing you. So he's cuddling you blah blah blah. It means nothing. He says he can get papers elsewhere if he wanted to, only difference is that he'll have to play the seduction game all over again & the clock is ticking. He already has you hooked by the looks of it, so why not continue to blow smoke up your @ss until you finally succumb to his request. Hmmmm..Just be very wary. |
| Re: Dilemma by Nobody: 9:23pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
abbssx:It is not just about the grammatical errors, your post was totally thronged and this made it arduous to read.. Take note. |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 9:26pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
PunkyVeer:@ Bible thumpers. You are right though. I guess I was just trying to give the person the benefit of the doubt. He also knows that I won't give him his papers. I told him that he will have to get it via some other means but not from me. Which he is okay with. Anyways I guess it's good to hear the truth from other folks. Sometimes when you miss someone a lot then you start to double check yourself or make excuses. We have broken up already anyways. Thank you so much for the advice I really appreciate it |
| Re: Dilemma by abbssx(f): 9:27pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
sylvalord: Nobody forced you to read it. You should have rather just ignored it. Next time please do so |
| Re: Dilemma by Nobody: 9:29pm On Oct 03, 2015 |
abbssx: I understand what you mean. So have you spoken since the break up? Can you please take me on how you broke up. Like, what led to it? |
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