How can we encourage parenst to let you stay with your boyfriend over night?

I think dat depends on d girl's age cos d typical nigerian parent would nvr encourage dere female child 2 sleep ovr night in a man's house unless u guys r bout 2 marry or r married.

2 do wetin,

4 real wetin u wan do,
so dat 2moro dem go say na ur mama no train u well

sweetlove i cant help but notice from the nature of your threads that you
seem to have a fixation on sex. dont mean to be judgemental, but you
may need professional help.

Tell them you are going for Night Vigil.

Infact night vigil indeed

Funmise,You don go Night Vigil before.

dr chic:

sweetlove i can't help but notice from the nature of your threads that you
seem to have a fixation on sex. don't mean to be judgemental, but you
may need professional help.

Agree with you Dr Chic. Sweetlove, your interest in sex and related issues is something to worry about.

i'll not allow my child sleep in any man's house knowingly o and the values i'll instill in her by God's grace, she'll not depart from it. Why are you even asking this question for crying out loud? Is sex something that can be experimented by everyone af all age or what?

I cannot allow my daughter stay overnight with her boy friend. Enuff can happen in Naija. And it's most definitely far from being moral for crying out loud. Sweetlove - it seems you've got some challenges. Why don't you mail me and let's talk over it

Sex is the most natural thing in the world .Everyone has it even flies.
A girlthat wants tosleep in her boyfriends house will sleep in his house, she will find a way.
I will rather my Daughter sleeps in her boyfriends housethan have sex some were outside.
Because if she wants it she will have it and I can only make it difficult for her but not impossible.
Thisd way she will not have to hide the pill or condom andwill also not forget them because she is hiding.#
But my dear Poster if your people say no, you do what everyother person dose. LIE

Why would you want to encourage such?

Guys, I think that the issue should not be about encouraging your daughter to stay with the boyfriend overnight. The issue here if any should be about understanding her need to stay overnight. I would actually want to discourage such if and when I get a daughter. Much as one would know that ones daughter might be having sex, one doesnt want it to become so obvious as to encourage it. However, I also know that "[b]what a girl does not do, she does not want to do it"

It one thin 4 d parent to have in ther mind dat,if u dont allow ur daugther to get her fredom,she will abuse all the little time she has for herself.

hahahahahah in whose house, not my fathers'

@bensimon, i really share your view, the issue is why does she want to sleep overnight, it really sounds so funny in this part of the world, we pursue shadow instead of substance, from my understanding , it takes  10hrs  to make a night  in Africa, and  the remaining 14 hrs for a day, so if your daughter can stay in her boyfriend's house for the 14 hours during the day , what stops her from staying the remaining 10hrs of the night ,Sex can still be done during the day not only at night, My people, my argument is for us to train our children, tell them what is right and wrong,  teach them the implication of frequent actions, am sure they will choose to do the most appropirate thing, if we inculcate the necessary values on our children, the issue of sleeping over in boyfriends house might not arise, they will do the right things at the right time

@sweetlove,
Be sincere, will you encourage your sister to sleep over at her boyfriends' knowing what can 'transfire'? Anyway, you will soon be a father or parent then you will know how it feels.

I will allow my daughters to sleep in their boyfriends house.
I think it is safer going home with the boyfriend after a party than coming home alone.
Sex with the boyfriend is better than rape by a stranger,
But it depends on the age.
if they are too young, they will not be going to any late night partys.
And if the party is to go till around midnight, they will be with other girlfriends.All of them will go together and comeback together to one of the girls homes.
That way all the mothers will feel their kids are safe.
At that age kids do not like it if mum comes to pick them up after the party.
by the way what is better than a party.
Talking about the party.

**shakes head**

I am glad i was never allowed to do this while i was at home, and i never even dreamed of spending the night at some boy's house , what for? hiss,

Sometimes boundaries have to be set and even if the child wants to have sex, the parent i would say should be able to advise against this, otherwise what are you a parent for? young people don't always know or make the right decisions, looking back i know i made some stupid mistakes and at the time i thought i knew it all. Thank God i had a mother that was understanding, wise, a good example, fun , good communicator otherwise i would have ended up like so many other kids around, banged up or worse.

Sometimes people talk out their asses for the sake of looking cool or modern , what a load of crap that is. Parents should set boundaries.

respect your parents rules and home if you dont like it, move out, if you want to go spend the rest of your days at a guys house wait till you can afford to, if your itch is too great move the hell out is what i will say to my child, all that talk about safety is bullcrap, the type of parent you are would show the type of kids you have. geez its like some parents have no roles anymore, want to be all PC and crap. The answer is balance .

Its not all about you Eurphoria
I do not know what type of friends you had that one has to be afraid of Bleep.
You do your do your thing we do our own .
No need to get insolent.
Do not think i have not noticed you getting personal on me even if you do not call my name.
Get of my back,

You have your rules and i have my rules.,,
If its better for the Girl to have sex on the back sit of a "Friend of a friends car" or in the back room of a friends of a friends room or BQ Thats okey .
But not for me. Any one that wants to have sex will have it.
But with respect please.If for any reason she cannot bring him home or he cannot take her home. My kids can forget that relationship.
All this boyfriend for mouth.
If they want to visit their boy friend they go to his house and the mother or father lets them in. And they know that is their sons boyfriend.They take her along on their outings birthday or what ever,

Hissss hissss hissss.
I i know very well most of these gang banged friends never even reported the case to anyone.
I do not have to ask myself why.
The Boys knew who they could do it with.
HIIss

*shakes head*
different strokes for different folks i guess but then how can . . . . .

Rubbish  who talked of Group Intimacy, please you are just a middle aged mother gone wrong in my opinion, yes it is my opinion take it or leave it i couldnt careless lady. Talking about insolence don't you think your energy would be best spent being a PARENT TO YOURS( some household that must be that you wud allow a child go sleep at a bf house while still under your care) instead of coming here trying to tell people crap about bringing up children. In my opinion i will say it again and again, you are jumping on the PC bandWAGGON trying to appear new age and cool.  This is a forum i would not stop giving my opinon about anything , just like you wont so either you don't talk about your personal affairs in a public place or you accept that people would form an opinon based on what you say .

madam, you are number 1 for making comments without naming names, i am not afraid to speak my mind, if you don't like it tough. I accept your opinion , but guess what?  i'm going to give mine too

@Topic i still say its not best to let your young child sleep at a BF's while still at home, if too desparate to get your own nookie pad.

No let them lie to you and sleep with him in the BQ or take a 10 min hotel.

By the way am not new age nothing , I am a rebel.
I rebel against every form of hypocrisy.
A Woman that bleeps with the whole world and says she is a virgin.
The same as the people that run around with their bible shouting on gods name.
But you will not even get a glass of water from them.
Almost everyone on this Forum has sex.
Question is by how many of them are their parents aware of it,
Who is the first person they run to .
That is why girls till today get raped in Nigeria.
By the way i stand to what i say it will not be in a husbands house that my kids will have their first sex.
They will not buy the cat in the bag,. And end up with some bastard of a man.
go on fooling yourself that your kids will not have sex if they want too . You may not even know they have a boyfriend.

By the way do you not have friends?
What are you doing at home on a weekend?
Welcome on the internet wagon.
Middleaged woman like me is were she should be AT home.
But a young girl should have some were to go.

do you read before posting at all/ who said they will not have sex? of course they will, i know i did, that is irrelevant. what i am saying is BOUNDARIES , you can go tell them about sex and give them condoms if  you wish, what i am saying is, no way will i encourage a child under my roof to go  spending nites at some boy's house. There are stages in life for everything when she reaches the point where he/she feels they can go spending nites at bf's/gf's house then i guess its time they become independent. This is the problem these days few parents stop children from being children and force them to grow up fast. My way is set  boundaries and respect my children not, be a figure head of a parent.

By the way do you not have friends?
What are you doing at home on a weekend?
Welcome on the internet wagon.
Middleaged woman like me is were she should be AT home.
But a young girl should have some were to go.

aww nice of you to ask lady, yes i do have friends lol, and i dont go out every weekend, besides if i were going out i would head for town from 11pm not 6pm which the time is right now. lmao

You just dashed any bit of respect i might have had for you from that really stupid comment lol, you have no idea . glad to see you $hit like the rest of us lol. I think you hanging around children too much, you sounding like one

I never said i encourage them to have sex .
But if and when they do then with respect.
At the same time i will also not want them to buy the cat in the bag.
My daughter knows i cannot make anything impossible for her.
But i can make it difficult.
Yes she sleeps in her boyfriends house she ask and i allowed it.
His mother gives her food and they take her along on family outings.
Better than hiding.
Well i was asking because all my kids are out of the house now.
by the way i will gladly bring myself down to any level when talking to people am not a snob.
I have friends from all works of life and all class.
And yes my house is always full of kids thats why i wanted to know if you do not have friends.

I do not need respect from a name on the internet.
When am fed up i just go.
This is not the only site i visit.

hmm and i am sure they dont go out every weekend anyway too much info, its unnecessary

No need to get insolent

.

I do not need respect from a name on the internet

=CONTRADICTION if i ever saw one

Well i was asking because all my kids are out of the house now.

this is the reason you should not judge people, they live at home with you, i live on my own, pay bills, a mortgage, work etc lol you think i can afford to go out every night? lol its called being practical and sensible. Drinks alone cost an arm and leg in London

And yes my house is always full of kids thats why i wanted to know if you do not have friends

''KIDS'' being the operative word here lol , when i can i do the young adult thing not hang out in people's kitchens . I am over the clubbing phase, these days i can be found organising one baby shower, bridal shower or the other so i guessit answers your question

The only info i give here are things i take for granted.
well go on paying your bills and working and emmm ya doing the baby shower thing.
We only live once.
No my kids do not go out every weekend. School comes first.
But now they have no other obligations so let them enjoy.
I did not know about hanging out in Kitchens must try that maybe its fun.