yomi007k:
My dear OP,

Judging by all u have written..
You are very intelligent

You are rare

You have experience.

Your choices would worth more than wat ur fiance has in mind.

That guy does not look like a good financial planner to me. Seems he believes more in "luck".

I'm sure he hasn't seen life.

If u were my blood sister, I wud say take ur time. Becos getting married is a long term thing. Be very Careful.

#shalom

hmmmmm......my philosopher is here

word, girl, word!

Neverquit:
@ shugga,

Please think twice before marrying that kind of guy...you will get frustrated in that marriage.

Your financial maturity level is VERY different. From what you wrote, I see him as a 'keeping up with the Jones'' kind of guy. Be extremely careful. It might not end in the elaborate wedding ceremony. Imagine already married and still behaves this way? If care is not taken, he might succumb to pressure to steal or do blood money.

So, be wise.

RUN !!!!

50k per month is enough worry not to talk of some one with a wrong mentality.

What kind of borrowing will sustain a elaborate wedding , about 12 months salary.

When he is paying back , frustration will set in

emmanuel596:
Op for u to prefer a quiet wedding it means there are bad things u must have done in life dat u don't want it to burst out when people hear dat u wanna get married



Or maybe u are just ashamed of d salary of ur wanna be boo who u think might not afford an open and well planed marriage

With the high desperation of nigerian girls wanting to get married 97% of ladies will never want a quiet marriage even if she's carrying a 7 months old pregnancy better tell us the truth we at NL can even contribute to get u married

Abi u get children for anoda men? Are all the boys in u area knows what's up with u


Start talking am all ears

Your stupidity knows no bounds. See why I've maintained that logical independent thought process is not for everybody. Thinking is not for everybody, some people should be banned from thinking and you qualify as one.

The OP is too sensible for her own good...


I still think both of you is a good match...

How old are you again?

emmanuel596:
Op for u to prefer a quiet wedding it means there are bad things u must have done in life dat u don't want it to burst out when people hear dat u wanna get married



Or maybe u are just ashamed of d salary of ur wanna be boo who u think might not afford an open and well planed marriage

With the high desperation of nigerian girls wanting to get married 97% of ladies will never want a quiet marriage even if she's carrying a 7 months old pregnancy better tell us the truth we at NL can even contribute to get u married

Abi u get children for anoda men? Are all the boys in u area knows what's up with u


Start talking am all ears

maryhaam:
hmmmmm......my philosopher is here

My bae is here

emmanuel596:
Op for u to prefer a quiet wedding it means there are bad things u must have done in life dat u don't want it to burst out when people hear dat u wanna get married



Or maybe u are just ashamed of d salary of ur wanna be boo who u think might not afford an open and well planed marriage

With the high desperation of nigerian girls wanting to get married 97% of ladies will never want a quiet marriage even if she's carrying a 7 months old pregnancy better tell us the truth we at NL can even contribute to get u married

Abi u get children for anoda men? Are all the boys in u area knows what's up with u


Start talking am all ears

I knew someone will say the op is hiding something,trust me someone like me too I prefer a low key,then we save the money to plan for our future,when I buy people aso ebi I just smile, I have nothing to hide am from an humble background,i see it as wastage if is overblown,lets just get married n live our life........not everyone has something to hide,some of us are just prudent.

emmanuel596:
Op for u to prefer a quiet wedding it means there are bad things u must have done in life dat u don't want it to burst out when people hear dat u wanna get married



Or maybe u are just ashamed of d salary of ur wanna be boo who u think might not afford an open and well planed marriage

With the high desperation of nigerian girls wanting to get married 97% of ladies will never want a quiet marriage even if she's carrying a 7 months old pregnancy better tell us the truth we at NL can even contribute to get u married

Abi u get children for anoda men? Are all the boys in u area knows what's up with u


Start talking am all ears

This guy is a Genius!!!

Nairaland got Humans.

yomi007k:


My bae is here

loooool,ow is you, how work.

Even apart from this:

shugga:
no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted

A man who wants to CONSCIOUSLY Spend above what he EARNS is NOT ready for Marriage. For me, you have two options:

1. Pray and Talk intently to him about his FINANCES or

2. WALK AWAY! You are not married YET!

BTW, don't bother about your present predicament. Keep Praying, Searching and Believing God for a Job! He will provide and You will RISE AGAIN!

emmanuel596:
Op for u to prefer a quiet wedding it means there are bad things u must have done in life dat u don't want it to burst out when people hear dat u wanna get married



Or maybe u are just ashamed of d salary of ur wanna be boo who u think might not afford an open and well planed marriage

With the high desperation of nigerian girls wanting to get married 97% of ladies will never want a quiet marriage even if she's carrying a 7 months old pregnancy better tell us the truth we at NL can even contribute to get u married

Abi u get children for anoda men? Are all the boys in u area knows what's up with u


Start talking am all ears

Not the smart one ei?

maryhaam:
loooool,ow is you, how work.

Everything good.

Thank God n u?

yomi007k:



Everything good.

Thank God n u?

great....TGif weekend is here, sleep n sleep

Are you pple compatible at all? Be sincere with yourself dear

shugga:


Already advice myself, just wanted to be sure I'm not making a mistake leaving him.

Nne ruuuuuuuun verry far! Any man like that is bad news! You sound like you got a good head screwed on your shoulders! Trust me with your kind of personality a good guy well deserving will come along! Don't be in a hurry or pressured because trust me God got your back! All the best

Why a big wedding ceremony? How many people can still remember the beast weddings they have ever attended? So why the "big" wedding? I am a living testimony to low key wedding. When I did mine, my financial status was big for such big occasion but thank God I have a good lady who buy my idea so we had a family kind of wedding with less than 200k (she is from abia state for that matter) yes friends, some business partners, family were disappointed but we decided the low key type. Now it's 5yrs and no body even remember the wedding even after 3days but our family business is waxing stronger everyday. My advice to intending couples sweet, elaborate, interesting, fine marriage is better than any kind of wedding. Wedding is just a day but marriage is for life. You can survive without money for wedding but u can't for marriage. Think about it.

Shugga, shugga. I tot you ran away from nairaland.

Congrats on your wedding. Allow him since he is the one doing the spending. I once saw such a N65k guy kill a live Cow for just a wedding...

Its his life, its his pocket. Some people like learning from their own experience.

sincerely,u cant get any meaningful advice aside all u r hearing nw. All post before me are powerful n reasonables.pls,take more of ur time to work with the guy to fully confirm who is he b4 u finally take action,dont rush; take best of ur time b4 ur last dicision.it is better to live in d forest dan with a visionless man.

You are wise but your husband to be is foolish,and there's nothing as bad as marrying a foolish man who can't make use of his brain. You'd both end up living a life of misery when your creditors come banging on your door later-on in future. A man is suppose to think for his family and the woman supports him with her advice;not the other way round.

shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?

is he ibo or yoruba?

maryhaam:
great....TGif weekend is here, sleep n sleep

Sure.

Will prolly hangout with some boys..

If I too sleep, I go dey depressed(thinking about life)

Let me marry you. I have a 750k-monthly job but still don't want an elaborate wedding. I want a bright future for the family I'm trying to build. If you don't want in, any good lady in the house like you should please holla! BBM Pin - 22704D1C

lolaxavier:
Point of view quite understood.
Not living within one's means is very detrimental to success and progress. I can see some people above me trying to make excuses for him. Wanting to brag shouldn't be an excuse to rent Psquare when you know there's upcoming Taofeek behind your house that will just settle for a plate of rice and probably charge you 10k and still make the event fun.
My point is if you can't live within your means before marriage, you may end up ruining your marital home by the time you see your school mate driving g-wagon and you want to do the same when all your life savings can't even buy a bumper. End result - stealing, greed, irritation, anger (when you can't get what you want), indebtedness, frustration etc.
Op, did you say 50k? In fact, he may end up paying for wedding expenses for the first three years of marriage. What joy is in that? Find out who your friends are.

Well said.

I l judge it on both perspective and finalise it with my own view.
Your guy wants the marriage to be talk of the town even if it takes him borrowing. An elaborate wedding will cost him ntin less than 5ook{i think he needs a re_think on that}
2ndly, you{sugar babe} would ve prefer what dz guy wanted if your loved ones were on ur good book.........
But for me{prof_komolafe}, i prefer a lowkey traditional wedding.

yomi007k:

Sure.

Will prolly hangout with some boys..

If I too sleep, I go dey depressed(thinking about life)

don't think too much go with the flow,its will be boring weekend no match,wil do game,novel n eat well.

shugga:
Hello house I need your views on this please.

There's a young man have been seeing, getting to 3months now. Recently we got talking deep and I realise he wants something serious, along the line I discover we have different views about certain issues, he tends to be the typical traditional man that just follow the norms of life without having a cogent reason for doing so, I mean all those click that follow the trend.

For instance we got talking about the kind of marriage ceremony to be considered, he told me he wants an elaborate wedding the kind the guests will go back and reminisce, that even if it means him borrowing to achieve that he doesn't mind.

This is someone working as a credit officer in a micro finance bank oh with slightly above 50k pay.
Me on the other hand would prefer a quiet wedding something like an indoor tm and a court/church wedding, he was like then I'm not his kinda woman.

I went ahead to explain to him the risk of having a marriage above your means but he wasn't ready to buy into such.
I personally want don't want an elaborate wedding cos through out my hard times have discovered that no one in this life cares for real, they only care when they have one thing or the order to gain from you even the immediate family isn't exempted.

When I was working friends and family flocked around and I was fooled to be believe they care not knowing it was cos I had what they wanted and I'm this type that I can't harden my heart towards people suffering, I can even sacrifice my last kobo for someone in need. These days my phone hardly rings and even those that say hi on whatsapp go religious and end the chat a moment they realise you're still jobless.

So of what gain should I entertain people that don't care if I breathe or not, even if my man has the means I will prefer he invest it or we use the money to enjoy life to the fullest.

I don't just like it when people do things just cos everyone else is doing them, I must have my reasons before doing a particular thing, that's me!!!

So dear Family is my reason for wanting a quiet wedding flimsy?

I wanted to say let the man have an expensive wedding ceremony if he can afford it until I saw 50k salary. He is a show man who wants to show off even to ppl who dnt care

may01:
It's not flimsy, it's sensible. You guys should compromise, you may decide to go for something simple and classy...Not as elaborate as he wants and not as simple as you want too.

I'm glad you're thinking of the future

girls with your type of sense are hard to come by
Who dash you this kind sense?

yanabasee:
Shugga mi ..... You might have taken his words wrongly from him.... And please don't take his 50k salary for granted.... Most guys are very determined. They could go a great length to achieve whatever they desire for..
.

I don't c an elaborate wedding as an achievement

True talk, when you have money you will be friends to so many peesons but as soon as money finish no one seens to care whether you exist.

MarvellousGod:
He wants an elaborate wedding with 50k salary? Dreamer! ! Talk is cheap .. His 3years salary can't even do an elaborate wedding

So senseless! When he should be happy he has someone like you! He isn't even worried about whether his 50k salary can take care of the family he's about to raise....

If i say you are wicked now.