Pidggin:


You are a perfectionist, you need to lower your standard and accept mistakes from people especially kids. I am sure the poor girl was even bored living with you, thank goodness she has been returned to her parents, between both genders need to be groomed to keep their home, I am sure you will not mind a husband that can help you out with chores especially as you are not well. Goodluck

Pidggin:


You are a perfectionist, you need to lower your standard and accept mistakes from people especially kids. I am sure the poor girl was even bored living with you, thank goodness she has been returned to her parents, between both genders need to be groomed to keep their home, I am sure you will not mind a husband that can help you out with chores especially as you are not well. Goodluck

armyofone:
When you first took her home, you should have bold typed or written down all the rules for her to read. Then you tell her that both of you would sit down and discuss/explain in depth on each rules...

tearoses:
Please this girl is only 11
I have a 12 year old daughter too so I know exactly what they can and cannot do
You are expecting her to reason like an adult . . .she is a kid

By the grace of God, you will have your own kids too and one day when that girl is 11, you will look back and say, so my own child can do this

Start again please
You sound like you really want to make a positive difference in this kids life
You need to be the adult here
You pull small, you push small
I go to my daughters room and lie on her bed and we both watch tv together . . .at the same time I am telling her that her room is untidy and where to place things.
Kids need Love, direction and firmness.
The adult needs to balance it
The adult also has to remember that they are dealing with a kid whose brain and physical features are still in development. There is no way my daughter can clean dishes as well as I can. Her hands are much smaller for a start and the sink is much higher for her (most probably more uncomfortable) than it is for me
shey you get what I am saying

doublex:
this is great advice especially since she's only 11 because i was 11 a couple of years ago and i remember how i was...

wonyi:


Were u disobedient, disrespectful n didn't take corrections? I am still learning n building my relationship with kids . Like someone said it's not a do or die affair. I will visit this section more to learn . I missed it from the beginning by not setting my rules n regulations.

hiroz:
op the problem began from the foundation.when she first came in,you should have given strict rules to abide by and when she stepped out of line,scold her..it seems you were too soft..she is a kid,kid can be taught and trained to do the right things..i think your health didnt help too.but talk to her and tell her the truth,let her know why you are letting her go tell her you were disappointed by her acts.if you want her back make sure you are at full health and fix strict rules you have to put you foot down but also be patient with here..goodluck..

wonyi:


I returned her on saturday morning. Thanks

wonyi:


You are right, that's the reason why after 3 weeks when things didn't fall in place I quietly returned her. It's easier said than done. May God give us the grace to raise our kids properly. I never used her for child slave labour. A girl child needs to b groomed properly otherwise she won't b able to keep her home. Maybe having a stable health would have helped. When a child says sorry, thank u n please easily, it pushes u to love more n b more patient. When my child dares me, he or she faces the consequences with love.

wonyi:


You are right, that's the reason why after 3 weeks when things didn't fall in place I quietly returned her. It's easier said than done. May God give us the grace to raise our kids properly. I never used her for child slave labour. A girl child needs to b groomed properly otherwise she won't b able to keep her home. Maybe having a stable health would have helped. When a child says sorry, thank u n please easily, it pushes u to love more n b more patient. When my child dares me, he or she faces the consequences with love.

SAMBARRY:
So when your 11 year old child disobeys you e.g wash the dishes and she doesn't but is inside her room playing video game you will stab her to death or if she disrespects you, you'll throw her out?