He surely has illicit affair going on outside. He feels the home is safe and settled WO time to catch some fun.
Nothing can stop him unless he learns his lessons but then it may come at q costly price but then if he is careful he may go unhurt all through. As for you continue to show love and affection you may decide to play the fool also for peace to continue to reign.

You need to cajole him to tell you what's going on. He just might be really depressed (and not even know it). Or he could be gay.

itsMrIke:
@OP your husband is gay, am surprised no one has told you

Seconded. Guy is gay. All the signs point to it. Guess he married for appearances.

I will advice you pray to God and talk to your Marraige counsellor if you have any. Don't bring your family issues to social media cos all you'll get is social advice. Pick up your bible and follow God's instruction.

From your write up, it does not state anywhere that you had actually sat him down and voiced your concerns with him.
Best to have a one2one with him.

Madam, ur case is partetic and is worth feelings for. For every problem,there must be solution. Talk to ur husband one on one, let him know how you feel about sex in ur marriage. I am sure he would have a rethink and change. In another way, all men that has been into marriage 5,10years back could testified to my point. Women after some years of marriage they introduced new behaviours that was part of them before but they purposely keep it just for the marriage to come into reality. Ordinarily, there is no any man that sees you with these behaviour and then propose to you in the first instance. That is why,there were many single mothers outside there. U are a woman and u know what I am talking about. May God help u in ur marriage.

Your husband has drop his comment on this thread, condeming the man that treat women this way. Unknowingly talking to himself

Also have a friend with such issues.
Exactly the way you narrated yours.
Hope yours doesn't stay in Asaba!

Artistree:
This story is a replica of a couple I know...Well, their marriage is 4 years old, she is 28 and the guy is 36, they have two kids and are materially ok too. She is neat, independent, pretty, educated and all, but the husband wouldn't touch her for any reason.
I wonder if it's the same couple but the guy I know in real life doesn't have friends on his street that he hangs out with and yes, he never touches his wife until he wants them to have a baby. He says he tries to love his wife but simply can't, even though she is the best thing to have happened to him. They don't quarrel and she is very obedient but they live as siblings and the wife tells him dat quite often.
At some point I was thinking it's because she made the move on him and all that, but seriously the lady doesn't deserve the kind of treatment her husband gives her.
I know both of them personally before they got married but the guy is more of my friend than the lady...wat a coincidence of story!

Also have a friend with such issues.
Exactly the way you narrated yours.
Hope yours doesn't stay in Asaba!

Have you taken time to ask if he's happy in the marriage at all? Many men are married but only a few are happy in it, and some of them would hardly admit. Only you and him can work that out, or reach out for marriage counseling if needed.

queenfav:
@op are you a full time housewife?If yes,please get a job or business to keep yourself busy.No one but you,can love you the way you expect to be loved.Keep yourself busy and you won't even have time to brood.

nice one

you dnt need to discuss this with him , just look thesame way the day he met you,

a shoulder to cry on soon becomes a di.ck to ride on.....punkyveer knows all about that

Only 2 Months and u are complaining, some people do stay for more than 3 months without sex...for me,sex is overrated... there are many things to think about in life pls dear woman,mind u am married and to a very beautiful wife DAT also see sex as overrated... so we are happy.

Kini big deal.

Take a trip down calabar.
Hang out with the Cameroon girls there.

Come back home.

He needs revival.

AreaFada2:


What if the guy wants out of the marriage and is just considering the kids for now?
Then OP will just make it easier for him.

Maybe he never really was deeply in love with OP but he thought love would come/grow.

He might be in love with another lady, whether he's currently dating her or not.
His body language suggests that he's no more sexually attracted to OP.

The whole marriage might even be like a hard chore to him now.
OP can be the most pretty or neatest lady around, it can happen.

Consider marriage counselling. But I bet the hubby would resist that suggestion. But try anyway.

there's nothing that moves a man than knowing that the person he ignores is a hot cake to others. When a woman makes a man feel like she can't survive without him, he can treat her like trash (if he ain't got consience). Always make your partner feel you are independent (not overly) and they will respect you more. Being clingy can be boring.
If indeed he wants out, begging him won't make him change his mind, instead it will compound issues.
By the time he notices that the lady isn't worried about him: the time he gets back home; whether he wants her or not etc he will be the one checking the lady out, not the other way round.
The man has ego and only reversed psychology can cure his ego.
Remember I told her to back this up with prayers.

Contact me for help

I will be very hard on you because of the kids. Stop nagging him to boredom. Stop comparing him with another man. Stop insulting him. You claimed to be educated, fine, but are you not using your status to intimidate him? Work on your attitude and ego, i mean, do not try to man up to him. Your friend could be teaching you gender equality and you apply it at home without modification to fit in. These are some of the negative vibes that make some men either become withdrawn or loathe their spouses. Please, do not consider divorce, just change the negative vibes to positive ones. He will surely "ask for more" cheer up sis.

babysophie:
Face ur children n work if u v any,dress sexily n smart. If u nid sexual satisfaction den learn hw to masturbate n u will be too tired to fink of a husband hu doesn't v ur tym.

And you are a mother to be,chaii God is truely great

KanwuliaJara:
Hmmmmm

Onoda wan don come o!
All these women wey dey look for love and affection from Naija men na waya o!

Una nefa learn to marry to get MARRIAGE SAFITIKATE and BORN ONLY?

Una mamas nor teasssssh una to loff una sefs?

You are "blessed" with 2 kids and you are on NL to cry for blokos?

Liar!!!!!
Ask any woman TRULY BLESSED WITH JUST ONE KID! Her attention done SHIFT tey tey to her darling pikin! E come be TWO KIDS?
Where da PHOCK do YOU find the time?
SHAMELESS, JOBLESS WOMAN!


Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!


Song of the day!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0te6iD1jCjM

Haba, this words from you are not fair to this agonising woman.

Artistree:
This story is a replica of a couple I know...Well, their marriage is 4 years old, she is 28 and the guy is 36, they have two kids and are materially ok too. She is neat, independent, pretty, educated and all, but the husband wouldn't touch her for any reason.
I wonder if it's the same couple but the guy I know in real life doesn't have friends on his street that he hangs out with and yes, he never touches his wife until he wants them to have a baby. He says he tries to love his wife but simply can't, even though she is the best thing to have happened to him. They don't quarrel and she is very obedient but they live as siblings and the wife tells him dat quite often.
At some point I was thinking it's because she made the move on him and all that, but seriously the lady doesn't deserve the kind of treatment her husband gives her.
I know both of them personally before they got married but the guy is more of my friend than the lady...wat a coincidence of story!

What this simply means is that the lady forced herself on him. It wouldn't have been like this if it were the other way round.

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

pls maaaaaaa, no matter what happens, DO NOT DIVORCE. It will affect your children as in, in a big negative way, pray to God, commit his soul to God. The bible says he direct the minds of chiefs and kings like he direct the course of the wind. Plssssss don't divorce, plsssssss

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

Smh! Why do we keep having these issues cropping up every now and then?

dokunbam:


What!

Cant stop laughing OMG

Who are you? This is so funny

Viagra will not bring back the love

"Bring back our love"

We all have things to deal with, sometimes I think love is not everything in a relationship

When love is to much you are blindfolded, you seem helpless, you cant think straight

Op open your heart, eyes, have heart to heart talk me with him

"our", "me".Na you be the hubby in question?

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

Sorry about your situation, didn't you courtship with him to know yourselves to see if you two matched sexually ? And also have you tried dressing very seductive within the house to get his attention?, what I would advise is, look very hot and do u ur thing, ignore him. He will come looking. There is something you are not doing right for him.

I hope you have at no time during delivery invited your husband to witness the process of child bearing. This experience has a terrible psychological effect on the man that makes him emotionally detached from the wife. Please dialogue with him and not the whole of Nigeria-the solution lies between you guys. Goodluck!

Hi55:
Hello nairalanders, I just wish I'll get a shoulder or two to cry on tonight. Things are becoming unbearable for me and I don't know how far I can walk on these shoes. Here's my story...


I am 28 and married to a 35yr old youngman whom I love so dearly. We are blessed with 2 kids and most material things one can pray for. My marriage is 5yrs with just minor issues that do come up once in a VERY LONG while.

The problem is that my hubby does not show me affection and hardly approaches me for sex. I am a very neat, beautiful, Godfearing, educated and classy lady. Most times I am the one who initiates intimacy in our marriage. My heart breaks each time I read or hear of women who deny their husbands sex because its an opposite in my case. For more than two months now we've not been intimate. To make matters worse, he prefers to sleep in the sitting room or children's room than in our matrimonial room.

He always pretends to be tired but not too tired to be chatting on whatsapp with friends. I have his password, that is not an issue. I am not suspecting anything even though I'm not totally ruling out the possibility of adultery. He comes back very late in the night unlike before. Infact even when he comes early these days, he will rather stay with friends within the street or house than come inside. Believe me nairalanders, we don't have issues. Infact he keeps saying that God blessed him with a wonderful woman. It's not like I make the house uncomfortable for him. The only communication we have these days is greetings, asking how the day went or few general topics.

I am not a woman who can't do without sex but I just need to be shown affection even if sex is not there. Committing adultery on my own part is IMPOSSIBLE, i will rather opt for divorce. I am so confused, lonely and heartbroken. I love my husband beyond the word LOVE. I just wish he can see the tears in my eyes as I lay lonely on our bed each night. I am very fragile by nature and gets hurt easily. Believe me...this is killing me.

Please, people drop a word or two for a hurting soul.

My dear hurting soul, I'm sure your husband didnt spend much to have you as his wife; you may have been the one that lured him into the marriage. On your wedding day (if u are wedded), can you remember the looks on his face? How happy was he? This happened to me too, where a lady used pregnancy to tie me down, but because there was no love, she felt the pain as I never cared or bothered myself even if she is in pains. Things never worked well, she had to quit, I then wedded my love who gives me happiness. If a man is in love, he can 'enter into fire' if that is what is required, just to please his wife. I know a lot of couples are in this situation, a woman can't force a man into marriage and expect things to work well. Life is all about being happy, I'll advice you to sit him down and discuss ur problem and if that doesn't solve the situation you better quit. Else you'll have medical complications that could end your life. Sorry my dear for being made to pass through such psychological pains!

Thanks for bringing back fond memories of one of my favourite artistes Jide Obi. But you're a very funny man, to criticise this woman for being a "BLOKOS" lover. June Obi

KanwuliaJara:
Hmmmmm

Onoda wan don come o!
All these women wey dey look for love and affection from Naija men na waya o!

Una nefa learn to marry to get MARRIAGE SAFITIKATE and BORN ONLY?

Una mamas nor teasssssh una to loff una sefs?

You are "blessed" with 2 kids and you are on NL to cry for blokos?

Liar!!!!!
Ask any woman TRULY BLESSED WITH JUST ONE KID! Her attention done SHIFT tey tey to her darling pikin! E come be TWO KIDS?
Where da PHOCK do YOU find the time?
SHAMELESS, JOBLESS WOMAN!


Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!


Song of the day!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0te6iD1jCjM